After spending some quite some time skimming through the pages of my books, I finally decide to set them down.
I set the book down onto my bed, as I lay and stare on at the ceiling.
I look out the window beside my bed. 'Still bright'
Today I planned going out with Bennett and Razor to Wanmin but...
With Chongyun yesterday...
"Then how could i- how could I tell you?"
When he...
"I like you Xingqiu!"
No.
I turn over facing the pillow of my bed.
It hurts, thinking, about everything.
When Chongyun said that... did he mean it?
'Of course'
Why am I even questioning.
And then the question is how long...
And if he liked me as long as I've liked him, then why did he never awnser me?
Did he really see it as a joke?
Did he really think my feelings towards him was a lie...
And I still do like him... but its not the same.
I dont want to anymore.
I sit up, placing my face into my hands, now with a painful headache.
Knock
Knock
I quickly look to the door of my room.
"Uh, yes?" I try to say in my usual tone, with the thoughts from before, racing through my mind still eating away.
"Master Xingqiu, Bennett and Razor have returned." I here a lady say from behind my door.
I begin to stand, reaching for my my usual navy jacket to put it on.
"Where are they right now?" I ask the lady as I finish putting my jacket on.
"Well, when Bennett returned..." i heard her say, but was unable to tell the rest.
"I apologize, could you please repeat?" I ask her, reaching for the door.
"He returned... covered... in soup."
I stand in the doorway, looking at the lady who had come to inform me.
"What." I say, completely confused by her words
"He's currently taking a bath."
"Ah, okay then, thank you." I say, ending our conversation as I close my door, once again.
'I'll go check up on them later'
~
"Hey Xingqiu." Bennett greats me as he opens the door of their guest room.
Bennett was dressed in plain clothes, his hair still damp from his bath.
Razor was sitting at his bed, his hair looking far more messy than usual. "Hello, Book." Razor yawns, and stretches as he greets me, probably just got done with a nap.
"Come on in, Xingqiu." Bennett invites me.
I step in the room and decide to sit next to Razor.
"How was Wanmin?" I asked the two.
Bennett goes over to his bed pulling a bandaid out from his bag. "It was fun." He says as he turns to me and Razor, with the bandaid now on his nose.
"It was very fun." Razor added.
"I apologize for the sudden change in my schedule, but I'll still be able to see the lanterns with you guys." I apologize to them.
I really hadn't been busy, but I didn't feel as if I could make myself go out today.
"It's okay Book, Chongyun was very nice. He helped us out." Razor said.
'Chongyun...'
"Huh, oh yeah." Bennett says while walking over to me and Razor. "We ran into him on the way there. He was looking for you, but he decided to join us when he heard you were busy."
'Looking for me...'
'Does he remember'
"Ah..." I freeze on that thought.
"What... why was he looking for me? Did he say?" I manged to ask.
"Never said." Razor tells me shaking his head.
"Oh... then it shouldn't be anything important."
'Right?'
"To bad we couldn't go out too much today." Bennett sighs. "Thanks to what happened at Wanmin, I was stuck combing bamboo shoots out of my hair."
Bennett sits down on my other side, slouching in defeat.
"I dont even see how that much would even be in a soup." Bennett groans again.
I look at Bennett and cant help but laugh. "Well you do still kind of smell like soup." Though its not true, I think his reaction would be funny.
"A nice leafy smell." I say, deciding to tease him further.
"What!?" Bennett sits up then leans over to look at Razor. "Really!?"
I look to Razor, hoping he'll go along.
Razor pauses, then sniffs the air.
"Bennett, you smell nice, like meat and leaves." Razor looks to him and smiles.
"I-I do!?" Bennett shouts once again, as he sniffs his clothes, hair, and shoulders.
"Well," he begins to say. "I do smell nice, BUT ITS NOT BECAUSE OF THE SOUP OKAY!" Bennett adds in, shouting, his cheeks a bit flushed.
"Sure it doesn't." I tease him a bit more. "The smell of bamboo suits you well."
"No no. Not funny Xingqiu" Bennett begins to hit my shoulder. "you even made Razor join you too, unfair."
"Hey, I didn't make him. It's because its true."
"No it's not."
Me and Bennett continue to bicker, until Razor decides to speak.
"But, Bennett does smell like the soup. It is very faint, but I can smell."
"HUH!?" Both Bennett and I shout.
Bennett proceeds to head over to his bed and roll up into the blankets, sulking; while I'm left laughing, trying my best to stay sitting up on Razor's bed without falling.
I spend some time hanging with Bennett and Razor until we all notice how late it would soon be.
"I will be heading back now, you two sleep well." I stand up, telling the two bye as I leave.
"Night, Book." Razor says.
"Sleep well." Bennett speaks too. "Hopefully you'll be able to join us tomorrow Xingqiu."
I look back and smile at the two. "Hopefully, we'll have to see."
I leave their room, heading back to mine.
And with my mind heading straight back to Chongyun, and the painful confusion, once again.