Sofi finished the tent and had laid out the sleeping pad and bags before I could finish building a fire. She came out and got our cooking gear ready. In fact, she got nearly everything prepared while I tried to light a fire. I had started hundreds of campfires before, but this one was making an ass out of me for whatever reason. I lit and blew the embers, re-lit, and blew some more. It would flare up and burn out.
"Can't we just cook with that stuff you brought?" She finally asked very diplomatically.
"Sterno, sure, but I want to get the fire started. It will be cold tonight, and that'll be nice."
I looked back at her. She had our boots by the front of the tent under the cover and had rolled out her yoga mat, which she was sitting on in Cobblers pose with our small folding stoves set up and ready. She had our cook kits separated and opened and had the freeze-dried meals stacked neatly.
"Okay, Sof," I said, coming over and filling two pots with water and lighting the Sterno cans in the stoves.
"Stop me when the water boils. I'm going to go get some smaller sticks and stuff to get this thing going."
I went back to trying to light the fire and lost complete track of time. I wasn't even out of sight of the tent. I returned with a bundle of small sticks and jammed them under the wood I had stacked in the pit. Sofi had pulled her hair up and clipped it on top of her head. She was diligently watching the camp stoves.
The next thing I remember was her hand on my shoulder.
"Honey, if anyone ever accuses you of arson, I will stand up in court for you and tell them, 'Bull Shit.' Dinner's almost ready unless there was something else you wanted to fix."
I was dumbfounded. I looked past her slender frame to the stoves. I could make out in the darkness where the food was steaming. I smelled it for the first time and realized how hungry I was.
I looked up at her in dismay.
"I read the instructions. It was easy, smells good."
She held her hand out for me to join her, so I did. Then I was struck with a quick idea. I took the remaining Sterno from one of the stoves, quickly tossed it into the dark fire pit, and returned to eat.
Sofi had hung the three solar lights we packed onto the front of the tent. They gave off a nice glow that was easy to see. As we ate, laughed, and talked just like we always did, the fire slowly lit itself from the Sterno dump's ditch effort.
By the time we finished, the fire was going well. I cleaned the dishes and stacked them in the storage flap of the tent. Sofi had spread everything out inside, even blew up the two small pillows we brought. She had opened both sleeping bags and spread them out on top of the thermal bag liners. I pulled one of the bags out, cleared a space between the fire and the tent, and spread it out. She and I lay there looking at the millions of stars, stars you never see in the city.
The fall breeze whipped the flames but also spread the warmth over us. We were both exhausted. I was so proud of her. As she lay there by my side talking, I just wanted to stop her, hold her face, and tell her how in love with her I was and how I could no longer imagine life without her. But I just turned my head a little and watched the silhouette of her face in the firelight as she spoke. Soon I drifted off; soon, we both did.
Staying up late is hard to do in the woods because the instant you are away from the man-made world, your body reverts to the primeval clock setting. The human is best suited for daylight hours in the natural world, and our internal clock knows this. You fall asleep soon after dark in the woods, and you rise with the sunshine and the birds.
I woke up, and it was a little after 2am. I put my hand on Sofi's stomach and stirred her awake. I guided her to the tent and covered her with the sleeping bag once inside.
I returned outside to stoke the fire and add a log or two before turning in when I thought I saw something in the distance. It looked as if something was glowing. I stared intently and saw nothing, but it caught my eye again as I looked away. The hair on my arms stood on end. It took a minute or so to figure it out too. I could not see what it was directly, but rather by looking just to the left or right in the darkness. There was definitely something glowing a soft green in the distance of maybe 40 yards away.
In another minute or two, I had my shoes on and flashlight in hand, and I was walking to inspect whatever it was. I shined the light in that direction but saw nothing unusual. The glow became more intense as I got closer, and in just another minute, I could make out the shape of an old rotten tree. The glow was bright up close. In the light of the flashlight, there was nothing unusual about the decaying old tree, but when I turned the light off and pushed the toe of my boot into the base, the glowing area became intense for a second or two.
When I finally came to bed, Sofi was waiting, only half awake. I told her of the strange glow and the dead tree. She just snorted a quick burst of air and smiled, never opening her eyes. She drew me down and kissed me, her breath already sleep-soured but sweet to me nonetheless. As I undressed and climbed under the bag behind her, I could feel her familiar warmth and the rise and fall of her chest as she held my hand there.
I'm not sure why I woke when I did. It wasn't the rustling of the sleeping bag, the soft mechanical sound of the tent flap unzipping or the birds singing. It was still too early for that. Nor was it the wind nor any other sound or movement. I don't know what woke me up, but I am glad it did.
When I finally opened my eyes, she was not there. I didn't jolt or call out. I knew she was close. As hokey as it sounds, I could feel her. I could remember the silence, though. From space, I pictured our little campsite hidden on the western side of Springer Mountain. The campfire was no longer smoldering, the blue-domed tent dark.
I stared out the open tent flap, the mosquito netting rippling slightly in the breeze, and was stirred out of my dream by a slight movement in front of our tent. It was still so dark that I had to focus and squint to make my eyes work. Then I saw it again, one of Sofi's arms slowly rose above her head, paused, then just as slowly made a wide arc, outstretched down by her side. She had assumed what looked like the mountain pose. I had watched her doing her yoga on the patio many a morning, even some evenings in the den. She would dim the lights, light some candles, lay her mat out and be completely quiet as she moved through her routine. I always tried to give her space during this time. She never mentioned it, but it always seemed like a private spiritual movement, much like hiking was to me up until that trip.
The sky before her slowly turned from dark gray to a calm and crisp shade of blue, the rising sun adding bright orange and yellow hues to the horizon. Finally, Sofi was silhouetted against the morning sky. She changed positions to the Tree Pose. She held herself still as she lifted one slender leg slowly and folded it, resting her flat heel against her other inner thigh. She raised her arms gently but symmetrically again, bringing them together palm to palm over her head. She held her position for what seemed to be an eternity, still, silent, and graceful.
Minutes passed as the sky lightened, allowing me to see more of her ethereal form clearly. She was wearing black leggings and a gray sports bra. Her hair was pulled back in a neat ponytail which blew gently in the slight autumn breeze. I thought how cold she must be. I thought it but dared not speak or make any movement at all for fear of disturbing her. I just watched in silence. Finally, she shook her head, ponytail waving side to side. I didn't have to wait any longer to go to her. I put on my water shoes and pushed back the mosquito flap. She saw me and smiled but didn't move from her spot.
I knew she would want tea. The girl was nearly unbearable without her morning cup of tea.
"I'll have the stove on in a minute, babe," I called out to her.
She just smiled.
"It's pretty, isn't it?" She said, staring at the horizon.
I stopped and walked over to her. She reached out a hand for me to take. It was chilly, I could see my breath, but her palms were warm. I took her hand and drew her in, spinning her so I could hold her from behind. We watched the last moments of the rising sun together.
She held onto the arm I had across her chest. I pressed my head against hers. It felt wet. I pulled away slightly, and sure enough, tears ran down her face.
"I love you," she whispered.
"I love you too, Sof."
"Your church is beautiful." She said a little louder.
I snickered and agreed, then spun her around, holding her at arm's length.
"And you can do anything you want with me in my church. Anything!"
She wrinkled her nose at me, but her eyes were bright and clear, and she looked happy.
And that was the closest I have felt to God.