A/N: Thanks so much everyone, for your support!
Meredith gaped at the man. He looked at her with a bit of concern but the corner of his lip twitched up as he nodded, "Liv's my old partner, she's a friend. She asked me to look out for you."
"But- How? What?" It occurred to her that Olivia had used her supercop powers to find her and was now definitely Big Sistering her. She pinched her nose and sighed. Then the baby kicked and she grimaced. "Ow."
"Are you okay?" The man asked, quickly concerned.
"I'm fine, I just need to sit down a minute," she puffed.
"Mommy?" Zola asked, tuning into the tension around her.
"It's okay, Zo. Mommy just got a little mad at the man, and now the baby's mad too."
"Baby mad?" Bailey asked as he lunged in his seat in the shopping cart, his hands automatically clutching her breasts. Perv. Meredith thought. Derek Bailey Shepherd is such a perv. I'm going to be raising a perv for a son.
"There's a spot over there..." the man said, pointing to a pair of patio sets parked in the shade of the grocery store.
It wasn't like she had much of a choice, she'd been walking all day, her house being only about a mile radius within everything she needed. "Oh... okay. C'mon Zo, this way."
She sat down, Zola clambering into the chair next to her. Bailey seemed pleased as punch to remain in his chair in the cart. Awkwardly, Meredith leaned back in the chair, her hand making soothing circles over the enormous bump that was Derek's last gift to her. Or curse, but only sometimes.
"I'm Nick, by the way," The man said, offering his hand for a handshake. "I'm sorry about the following thing- Liv just called me out of the blue, and-"
"It's okay Nick," Meredith breathed, releasing his hand. He seemed genuinely apologetic. "You can tell her I'm fine. I just needed some space..." she started when Nick's phone beeped.
He looked down at it smiled, "Actually, you can tell her yourself."
"Huh?"
"Hi Meredith," a voice said beside her and she looked over to see the older woman striding over to them, her expression happy but worried. Olivia. Olivia freaking Benson had followed her across the freaking country. What the hell?
"And that's my cue..." Nick said. "Nice to meet you. Cute kids by the way. Liv, text me later and I'll pick you up?"
"Sure," Olivia said, but her eyes were on Meredith.
Later, Meredith would attribute her reaction to hormones and achy swelling feet, but in this very moment she couldn't help the rising tide of anger at the woman. What part of 'I'm fine. The kids are fine, we're fine.' Didn't people get? She just wanted S-P-A-C-E okay? "What the hell do you think you're doing?" She snapped at Olivia, "Can't you people just leave me alone? Can't I just-" Her words were muffled by a small dark hand covering her mouth.
"Momma, no yelling," Zola reminded her, climbing onto Meredith and pushing her lips closed with her small fingers
Meredith gently pried Zola's hands off her mouth, "I'm sorry Zo, Momma's just not being a very good example today huh?" She fumbled with her daughter as she tried to find a spot for her on her lap. Finally Zola slid into place on one knee, while she watched Olivia curiously.
"Hi."Zola said.
"Hi," Olivia smiled back.
Meredith huffed. "Sorry," she mumbled, a little embarassed that her own daughter had to remind her of manners
"It's fine..." Olivia said, offering a half smile.
"So how did you find me? How did you know?" she asked. Her relationship with Olivia was happenstance- they just crossed paths at certain points in their lives. She hadn't really mentioned Olivia to her friends except maybe in passing - but, "Oh, Carolyn." she said, answering her own question. Of course it made sense now.
Olivia nodded, leaning forward on the chair, her hands on her knees, "I wasn't going to come but-" her voice caught just slightly. She shook her head, "I knew you probably wanted to be alone, to process... grieve." Olivia said, "But the work I do- the things I've seen, I guess I just wanted to see that you're really alright."
Meredith nodded in understanding. "I'm alright," she said softly. "I'm alive and kicking... and-" The baby inside her moved again, causing her to stop and slide her hand down her abdomen. "She's kicking... wanna feel?" Without waiting for Olivia to respond, she took her hand and put it high on her rounded tummy.
"Oh." Olivia said, as the baby kicked again.
"Yeah, you're lucky Noah didn't use your insides as a punching bag."
"You said she."
"Yeah," Meredith smiled. "It's a girl." A shuddering pang of grief dipped in her. "She's what gets me through."
"Good," Olivia soothed, now rubbing Meredith's arm.
They remained there silent for awhile, until Bailey interrupted. "Mommy?" he asked.
"Oh, you're probably hungry huh?" Meredith put Zola down and stood up to grab her bag in the cart. She handed him a snack sized container of cucumbers. "Zola, want some cucumbers?"
"Yeah!" Zola said.
Meredith plucked out a few slices of cucumbers for her eldest and popped one in her mouth too.
She sat back down, regarding her friend carefully. There was an ache in her heart that she hadn't noticed was there until Olivia showed up. Until now, she took comfort in the fact that no one knew her here. She didn't have to explain everyday how she felt, she wasn't constantly reminded that half of herself- her best half- was missing. No one knew her, so no one had to care. But now Olivia was here, and she knew the other life that Meredith had, the one she left, and...
"I miss him sooo much," she said quietly.
"I know."
"I came home, and looked around, and... I couldn't be in that house anymore. I couldn't live there without him in it. I couldn't sleep in the bed without him beside me... I couldn't go to work and-" Meredith choked back a sob. "He's gone, and he's not coming back."
"I know."
"I don't know why- I just- I couldn't stay in Seattle anymore. Everyone probably hates me..."
"Meredith," Olivia said softly, "It's okay, really."
"Yeah?" she squeaked, wiping her tears.
"They're your family. They're worried, but they'll understand. Whatever you choose to do, they'll understand."
Meredith sniffed again.
"Momma miss dadda?" Bailey asked.
"Yes," Meredith said. She stood and picked up her son, hugging him tightly and kissing his rosy cheeks. "But Momma's going to be okay."
"You will," Olivia said. She stood up too. "Listen, Meredith, my work here is done. I know you've got this. I'll tell Carolyn you're okay and that you'll contact her when you're ready."
Meredith breathed a sigh of relief and lowered Bailey down on the ground so he could toddle around. "That would be-" But she was caught off guard by the firm tight hug from Olivia. It was unexpected. "Oh," she said. It had been a long time since she'd been hugged by an adult, and it felt so needed. "I'm glad you came," she said honestly. She'd been angry at first, because the bubble she'd been living in had been popped, and now she was reminded that people did love and care and worry about her. But the anger dissipated when she realized she'd forgotten how much she needed to talk and share and...feel.
"I'm glad I found you," Olivia replied. She reached in her back pocket, "Here's my card, call or text me anytime, okay?"
"Yeah, okay."
"I'm meeting Nick for dinner, and then I'm catching the red eye back to New York."
"Okay," Meredith said, turning the card over in her hands, "See you later," that pretty much summed up their relationship. They'd see each other, later.
"See you." Olivia smiled.
"Bye!" Zola waved. Bailey seemed much too interested in the ants that were now gathering around his dropped slice of cucumber.
"Bye-bye," Olivia also waved.
xxx
"So... You were looking out for your friend," Nick said, chomping down on his quesidilla. "I don't remember you ever mentioning her, or seeing her before."
Olivia shrugged, "We just... ran into each other at important times in our lives." It was uncanny really, how fate had spun them together when they needed a friend, or a push, or help. "Meredith saved my mother's life almost twenty years ago."
Nick's eyebrows shot up. "Really?"
She felt almost wistful, recalling all of this. "Yeah, and then her mom went missing and I was in charge of her case..." she continued. "After that, it seemed kind of pointless to erect walls and not share things about ourselves." She took a bite of her steak and savoured it.
"Yeah... guess it would," Nick agreed. "So... she's okay?"
Olivia sighed, "Grief stricken, pregnant, hormonal... but she'll be okay. She's strong."
"I don't know how anyone gets through losing a spouse... I mean, a divorce is hard enough, but at least you know they're alive. At least you can call'em, see if they're okay, talk to 'em."
"It's not easy..." Olivia murmured. Although she didn't exactly lose the love of her life. When Elliot left, she knew what it felt like to lose someone's presense. They knew each other so well, they knew each other's thoughts and feelings. Knew what the other was going to do before they did it. On the job, Elliot was as essential to her as eating and drinking. Losing Elliot left her unbalanced, and she struggled for quite awhile to gain her equilibrium. So, in that sense she understood how Meredith felt, why she did what she did. She had to learn how to walk all over again.
They finished eating, talking casually about the gang back in New York, Nick's rehab plans and the possibility of moving to LA.
He asked about Noah, and she smiled, filling him on every detail of her now officially adopted son.
"Well, I'll drive you to the airport." Nick offered after they split the bill.
"Okay."
As they pulled out of the parking lot, Olivia jerked her head at the police scanner on the dash, she'd forgotten to ask him about it before. "What's that for?" she asked.
"Oh this?" Nick said, he flicked it on, and the familiar radio static and cop chatter filled the car. "I get bored sometimes, just wonder what's going on."
"Mm." Olivia said. She leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes.
The radio cackled and cracked. "Ambulance needed at 125 Oceanview drive, possible pregnancy complications. Please be advised child and toddler are on scene with mother..."
That's sad, Olivia thought... Wait. "Nick, what's Meredith's address?" She asked, bolting up in her seat.
"125- Crap!" He shouted. "Oceanview drive, it's only a couple blocks from here, we can beat the ambulance!"
Suddenly the car sped up as he looked for a safe place to pull a U-turn. Olivia sucked in her breath. Meredith was in serious trouble.
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