Tanwir Sarker
A crescent moon smiled down on me, its light shimmering across a familiar lake. Nature rustled with the paws of the animals, whistling in tune with crickets. My mind was in a haze, lost in a fog of memories, and chained to the past I escaped from. Closing my eyes, I allowed myself to bask in the moonlight, to seep into a reality far from mine.
The night covered me in its cloak, shielding me as it would an infant child. Changes spun like a violent wind, yet the night held me tight, kept me stagnant in time. I wondered what infinity felt like, what the security and safety truly meant in my life. I swore I'd never look back, and still I lingered with a dulling ache.
Ya Allah, am I making a mistake?
My whole life, I'd make mistake after mistake. I'd chase after danger for the thrills, the revitalizing jolt of excitement that pumped my veins with adrenaline. There was an addiction to that life, and I fell in love with it.
When I misbehaved, everyone craved me more. The mafia needed me more. What started as a gateway became the magnitude to power. No longer did I have to fear what students said about my religion, no longer did I feel haunted by death. With this power, they all feared me.
A chill ran up my spine. It was wrong. I searched for answers in sinful places.
The inner demons won the battles, but in the end I won the war. I came back to the right path, and I swore I'd never stray again even if it killed me to stay.
* * * *
"Aren't you tired of the way people belittle and hurt you?" whispered the dark voice in my ear, his tone dangerously low. His ghostly hand gripped my shoulder as he leaned closer. "Don't you want respect?"
I swallowed, hands clammy from the confrontation. "It's wrong."
He chuckled. "Wrong?" he mused, circling around me like a hawk stalking its prey. "What's so wrong about respect? Do you think people will ever listen to a Muslim in this country?"
"My faith means everything to me."
"And what has that gotten you?"
I stayed silent, letting his words soak in. Being Muslim in our society wasn't easy, and there were more difficulties around every corner. These days, I couldn't guarantee my life or my safety. After a while, I lived in my sorrow, mourned the death of my older sister, and tried to end it all.
What hope did I have left? If I was truly loved by Allah, why did I have to endure all this?
A small voice inside told me to keep fighting, to keep believing. Struggle was part of faith, and this was a test. I was told this countless times, but as the days dragged on and the light began to leave my eyes, I wondered if I was fighting for dust. My faith was at a tether, a second away from ripping.
The boss knew. In fact, he predicted it.
"You have a beautiful sister," he commented, making my fists clench. There was a lustful nuance to his voice, ripe with a hidden desire. "So innocent, so pure. What would it be like to have her in my arms? Is her skin as soft as it looks or will I find out by ripping apart her modesty?"
My nostrils flared as I whipped around to face him. "She's a fucking minor. Leave her alone," I all but growled.
"How will you protect her without the power you crave?" he whispered like the snake he was. "If I touch her, you wouldn't be able to stop me or anyone else. At the end of the day, you're just a pathetic little boy too afraid of his own shadow."
"If I join," I started slowly. This was a deal with the devil, but he was hitting too close to home for my liking. "If I join your team, will I gain the respect and power I need to survive?"
"As long as you follow my orders, then yes. I'll give you what you need."
My gaze hardened. "Deal."
* * * *
The boss was never after Amira. He only used her to keep me in line, but I could never forgive myself if anything happened to my little sister. I lost one sister to cancer, and I wasn't going to lose another when I could stop it.
"It's been a long ass time since I've seen you around," said a voice behind me, cocky and full of himself as always.
I turned on my feet, hands in my pockets. "Daisuke."
The troublesome consigliere of the mafia smiled coyly at me, a wolfish grin on his snowy visage. There was a coldness to his dark eyes, an emptiness like a void of sin. Daisuke was the boss's favorite companion, a man with the tech genius skills required to find out anyone's deepest, darkest secrets. He was a fairly tall man with a medium build and jet black hair that fell over his eyes.
His parents were Japanese-Americans, affluent in their wealth and graduates of MIT, one of the best universities in America. Their son was no doubt as gifted as his parents, but somehow he got entangled with the mafia, using his intelligence in the underground world as his weapon. He was usually quiet in his personal life, not speaking unless spoken to, and a man of high demand for IT companies all around.
I learned my hacking and computer skills from Daisuke during our time together when I was in high school. He was a college student then, but he took me under his wing, taught me the tricks of computers and the hacking needed to breach any top security agency.
Daisuke cocked his head to the side. "I know you didn't call me here for a walk down memory lane," he said, crossing his arms. "Last time we met, you swore you'd never come back."
"I was telling the truth," I replied. "We all have to let the past go sometime."
He scoffed. "After that stunt you pulled, I'm surprised the boss didn't kill you."
A ghost of a smile appeared on my lips. "Alexander knows my real intentions. He understood."
"Like the fucking prick he is," he muttered under his breath. Daisuke stretched his arms over his head, yawning in boredom. "What the hell do you want? I'm busy, and I don't appreciate my time being wasted. You're lucky I'm still fond of you."
"I need you to dig up some dirt on a man named Dayyan Masharawi."
His dark eyes narrowed at me, a deep frown on his lips. "You have unfinished business with him?"
"Should I?"
"I've heard his name before, but I never thought much of it. The mafia had him under surveillance for a few months."
This perked my interest. Our mafia was no ordinary group of ruffians. It was highly sophisticated, prowling the night streets with the ferocity and terror of a lion pack. No one dared to cross us, no one wanted to meet us. We were the mysterious legends that parents told their children when they wanted them to behave.
If Dayyan was under surveillance, then Alexander must have suspected something. Our boss was no fool. He played the devil's hand with ease.
"What put him on surveillance?"
Daisuke met my gaze, dark eyes swirling with a foreboding cloud, thunder crackling in his eyes. "He was stalking a girl."
My blood ran cold. Claws of discomfort stabbed at my abdomen as a sudden jolt of terror pierced my chest. I knew he was dangerous, yet knowing such a man had been alone with my wife brought old feelings of resentment back to the surface, anger brewing into a larger, more destructive flame.
"The boss and I were finishing a mission, and we saw this man follow us. At first, we thought nothing of it, but it kept happening. The damn bastard thought he was being slick. The boss sent one of the bodyguards to confront him."
"Who was the girl?" I dared to ask, already knowing the answer.
"Some Muslim chick in the area," waved off Daisuke. "He begged to be in the group, said it would force her to love him and some other bullshit like that. That deranged man was so hung up on that girl, I swear he had that insane look in his eyes. You know, the type that tells you this man will stop at nothing to have her even if society rips him apart. It's either her or her life for him."
Kanza. He's crazy about Kanza.
"You know how the boss is," shrugged Daisuke, shaking his head. "He's not into fanboy antics. We might do a lot of fucked up shit, but not this." My mentor must have noticed my silence as he cocked his head to the side, curious. "Why are you asking about him?"
Sighing deeply, I threaded my fingers through my hair, tugging at the inky strands as I realized how complicated all this was becoming. He could have left my wife alone, could have moved on with his life after a sting of rejection.
"I need to speak with Alexander," I decided, voice firm. "Immediately."
This confused Daisuke even more. "The boss can't be available to you just because you demand it. Remember you left us."
"Daisuke, please," I almost begged. "My wife is in serious danger, and I need to know what Dayyan's been doing."
His eyes rounded. "Wife?" he choked. "When the fuck did you get married?"
"I think Dayyan is stalking my wife. If the mafia investigated him, then you must know more than I do."
He pursued his lips. "You didn't answer my question."
"I got married a few weeks ago," I said, rolling my eyes. "So, are you gonna help me or not?"
He exhaled a tired breath, rubbing the back of his neck. "Alright. I'll pull up the files and talk to the boss about it. Don't be surprised if he says no."
"Thank you," I said, truly grateful for his kindness.
Daisuke could have thrown out my request, could have treated me cruelly, yet he stayed honest. Our paths diverged in life, many bonds broken beyond repair, however when it counted, I knew I could rely on Daisuke.
"One more thing," he added before I could leave. "You should tell your wife. It's better if she's aware. The more allies she has, the more we can guarantee her safety."
His words were saying the one thing we'd both been avoiding. Kanza's life was in danger, and even the mafia couldn't guarantee anything.
Only Allah could.
"I'll keep that in mind," I told him, unlocking my car. "Until we meet again, Daisuke."
"Stay safe."
An uncomfortable ballast rested on my chest, knocking the air from my lungs. I could see the worry lacing his eyes, could see his own frustration for letting a man like Dayyan go so easily. I felt the exact same.
Ya Allah, please let my past have a benefit in all this. Give me the strength to protect my wife.
* * * *
When I arrived home, my wife was asleep at her desk, the editing app opened on her screen as her footage blurred in the background. A sense of tranquility surrounded her, veiling her in its sheer cloth, an aura of white glowing from her pale cheeks. The fear I felt was momentarily forgotten as I lost myself in the beauty of my wife.
Quietly, I slowly placed my keys away, tidying up the small space and moving her notebooks full of ideas. She was so dedicated to her craft that she forgot about the rest of the world, choosing to live in the fantasy she creates for her fans, weaving new trends into her videos, and doing all the editing herself.
It was time-consuming, yet whenever I saw the product of what she made, I saw the spark light up in her brown eyes.
I paused, kneeling until her sleeping face was all I could see. Light glimmered against her thick lashes like the rippling of sunlight against an ocean. Her bouncy head full of curls were pulled into a messy bun, and a lone strand fell over her eyes, rosy lips parted as a soft breath escaped her.
When we fell asleep, it was an escape from reality, a time so blissful and sweet that we would forget about the pain that awaited us. Sometimes that pain was so unbearable that some hearts never fully healed. They were battered and bruised, a tender wound that burst at its seams.
I knew that feeling. I remembered it so well.
Still, as I gazed at my beautiful wife, I realized how strong she was. A psychotic man stalked her mercilessly, yet she continued to smile for those around her, continued to fill the world with her melodic laugh.
My thumb stroked her cheek. Please keep smiling, I wanted to say. Let's be happy together.
She stirred in her sleep, revealing tired eyes. "Tanwir?" she called out groggily. "Why are you home so late?"
Daisuke's warning came to mind as his voice echoed in my head. The chilling fear propelled me forward, and my chest clenched at the vision of Kanza's tear-streaked expression when Dayyan abused her.
He wanted to keep hurting her.
"Tanwir?"
"I have to tell you something."
Assalaamualaikum!
Who knew how thrilling this book would be? The mafia arc was an on-the-spot type of decision, AND I LOVE IT.
Dayyan is a creep, so do we all agree to hate him? I'm seeing a lot of "yes."
Hope this slight background reveal made up for the late chapter. We'll be meeting the rest of our mafia boys soon ;)
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