#6,103
When was the last time all hell broke loose for you?
I always wonder why is it that it's always me in varied situations every single time feeling that this is the worst that can happen. Nothing can beat this shit now but then another huge ball of shit comes rolling down in my way shattering me in an unexplored possible manner.
Rose is officially AWOL now. Uncle Jaai and Aunty Zara seem clueless. Zee doesn't wish to do anything except kill my very much worthy brother Aman, not Ayan. Never Ayan. Ayan seems to not have free time to even breathe I guess. I don't know or don't care what Aman is up to these days. I'm not talking to him. I've got the news that Kyle and Naomi are gonna be back this week. So I guess there's one thing to look forward to. Kyra has been equally aloof and busy. I think she's hiding something from me.
God! Let us all have some peace, please.
~ Aavya, on a strenuous night after Rose vanished for a breather.
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" Why? Uh, Why, Aman? Is it because that you are so sick, so sick that you don't know... You might as well say your goodbyes while you're at it... Spare us some more pain, will you if you must of course? "
It's said that you hurt the most when you're hurting the most.
This pleasant, soothing yet inexplicably sad morning was the worst one for both of them, still, they didn't know that the worst was yet to come. If only God had been so merciful, right?
Rose did see the color of Aman's face metamorphosed into hues she might never be able to explain ever. But, she knew that he knew she knew. It was just like that 'Friends' episode when everyone thought they knew better than the other but this didn't feel like a victory. It never would.
This was a battle won but a war lost.
Rose thought she was formidable but her heart knew better. She tried so hard not to fall down on her knees and break into a million more fragments. So, she did what she could do best - fight. Fight with the man standing in front of her, her only love, and destroy whatever was left of him. Shatter him into pieces to show the world that she has been brave but has she? Yes, she would cast herself to hell if she did that but then it was the only way she could save herself from some misery.
It had been a tough, very tough couple of weeks or so. But, this felt like death calling her. Summoning her for her judgment day. Rose knew she was running away when she decided to come, and find refuge in this haven but she was so lost that absolutely nothing made sense to her. It was a do-or-die situation for her and she knew it was too early for her to die. Her heart was reckless and restless for she knew this day would come when Aman would be standing exactly where he was right now. And that would be the end for her. It felt like the end.
He looked just a lovely innocent person with his eyes dying to shed those hidden tears and his nose was pink from exertion. He was very bit tired but still jaunty in his dimpled smile which was lopsided and grim. His perfect silky hair was falling on one side of his forehead and all she could imagine was how lovely it would feel as her fingers moved them in place. He wanted to say so many things but nothing found its way out. Rose waited for him to seep that statement in but mostly she was giving him space to uncover those words if ever he could.
" Eh...Ro-Rosie... W-what ..." He flattered and looked away. Pretending was never his stronghold but what the hell.
He knew it was quite evident who was the source and asking the obvious was just another way to fill in those gaps.
Rose took a deep, deep breath so deep that her eyes closed and she was back in her office on that ominous night when the person she thought she had nothing to do with changed her life forever. It was astounding how many times one's life can change forever.
" I hope I'm not intruding."
Rose knew the plain sweet voice.
" Thea, Hi... Uh-No. I was heading home. What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be resting at your home? By the way, Congrats. Sorry, I left the other day." Rose was startled to find her coming to meet let alone in her office. She couldn't dislike her even if she wanted to. Why should she anyway? Thea was one of the nicest people she has come across. But she was envious. Thea had something, someone that Rose couldn't.
She wasn't yet privy to the information which others were as she had decided to give herself a much-deserved break from all the drama that had been unfolding in their lives. So the truth was not out to her.
" Thank you. I'm fine, actually. I wanted to talk to you before I leave for Paris. "
" Oh! You're going back. I assumed you'd be staying here now..." She didn't feel the need to continue her sentence. Thea was smart enough to understand what she meant. And she did.
" You should know...", she started and Rose looked at her to continue," ...that Aman and I... It was just a ruse. I'm pregnant but it's not Aman's baby. I'm already married to Logan. Maxx is our firstborn. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. But Aman... " She didn't complete her sentence as she knew Rose was stunned. It was a lot of information to take in, a lot too much. She swallowed a lump in her throat. It might've been a piece of happy news but it was as if she had been living right in the middle of a lie for months. She left battered and even more deceived. Anger should come naturally but surprisingly it didn't.
Thea appreciated the fact that Rose was doing good but she could see the nervousness change into a sigh of relief which was quickly followed by confusion and a ton of bewilderment and a ting of vexation. Thea should have been grateful that she wasn't as furious as she has the right to be. She has every right to rampage and pull Aman by his neck and maybe kill him too. No one would blame her for that. Not even the gods.
" Rose..." Thea had to enunciate her name very carefully to force her to look at her for she had turned her face in the opposite direction. She needed time to think, to let all this new information seep in her blood but Thea was afraid she didn't have much time.
Rose slowly turned to look at Thea who was urging her to say something perhaps an indication that she was listening and a trickle of lone tears fell down her cheeks but she stood with her head high up.
She thought she was done with heartbreak but she realized she was far away from it. If what happened seven years ago was worse than this was a million times more than the worst. Thea quickly held Rose's hand and she squeezed it tight. She realized she had been shaking for a bit.
" W-why? Why would h-he do that? " Her eyes pierced into Thea's dark orbs as she demanded an answer to a very reasonable question. Thea thought she had an answer but she wasn't certain she could ever justify his actions. She pulled them towards the nearby couch. The information she was about to divulge was critical and she was doing it at the dispense of a dear friend's trust but it had to be done for the sake of everyone who loved Aman. And Thea was of the firm belief that if anyone needs to know it had to be Rose. She needs to know. Thea has seen the love Aman has for her but when she saw the same kind of passion and yearning in Rose's eyes Thea's romantic heart sank. No one should be in so much as them. They both were beautiful human beings. Thriving to make everyone's lives around them better. They didn't deserve this.
" Rose... I don't think Aman would ever approve of me going behind his back and speaking with you. You know how stubborn he can be..." She took a long pause which was long enough for Rose to know. She was very good at this.
" Thea," her voice was firm and felt authoritative, " what is wrong with him?"
Thea's eyes widened and her heart soared and then took a pitfall. She saw her tears but also felt her love. Not everyone is fortunate to experience the love that these two people share. Thea knew that Rose was beginning to make connections and put the reasons for Aman's actions and she knew better. The puzzle pieces were coming together.
" Rose...I-I know you should hear this from him."
" But, you know he'd never say things that he knows would hurt me or anyone of us. You know that and that's the reason you are here or why don't you just, you know rip off the bandage." Thea was taken back by her candor but her voice sounded impulsive and desperate.
" Yes. Okay. It all began almost a couple of years back. Aman had started experiencing some kind of abdominal pain." She paused as she was forced to recall the horrors. It was terrible for him. Quiet painful. But, she also wanted to see Rose's dreadful expression.
" He was of the notion that it was just a minor stomach ache and that's what any normal person would assume but then things worsen. The cramps were incessant and frequent and longer in duration. We had to force him to see a doctor. That evening he was diagnosed with a severe stomach ulcer. What followed was a surgery and all was well. Ulcers aren't fatal, one recovers from them. He was doing pretty well and recuperating but after 8 months we found out that due to some rare case of complication the bacterial infection had traveled to his right lung. It was a prolonged process, so it took us so long to figure out. Until then the lower part of his lung was highly infected. He was immediately put on medicines and the doctors started researching the best course of action. His is a rare case and the way his lung was responding to the medications was ambiguous. In a few months, the infection had stalled so the doctors suggested we wait out and not hurry to get on with the surgery. If the lung is recovering on its own then why complicate the process. We were hopeful and Aman wanted to see his family. He was doing good but then the infection started growing again and surgery was the last option left before the entire lung gets infected. " She stopped to drink some water. The story was not over yet but she was parched. Rose chose to remain silent offering her a bottle of water.
" Aman wanted to return long before all this happened. He wished to make things right, to live his life with you, his family, and open his restaurants here. He was positive that you all will forgive him once he makes up to you guys. But he wasn't aware that he'd had to expedite the process. Doctors said his condition is deteriorating but he was adamant to return. He has delayed his surgery and for all I know is on medications since then. I've been cut off from further updates but as far as I know, surgery is imminently inevitable to fully solve the issue. " It was a full stop. She thought she had given her a lot of information to think about.
After some time she gathered her courage to speak.
" Thea...It's just one surgery, a procedure perhaps. He's gonna be okay, right? It's an infection. It's not cancer, is it? He should have told us, his parents at least. How can he be so stupid? I don't believe it..." She was angry at his recklessness.
" Because a few months back doctors ran a pre-diagnosis and they might have insinuated the presence of cancerous cells but they still needed to confirm that. That was the last bit I got out of him before he stormed away. They also predicted that the survival chances after the surgery which involves as they say removing a part of his lung, can be low as such type of infections can reoccur even with something as trivial as common cold..." Now that was a blow.
" He wasn't ready to take the risk." She added after some time as if convincing the person opposite to her with sane reasons for his insane actions. Thea noticed that Rose wiped her cheeks and she felt herself doing the same. Rose closed her eyes as the remaining tears overflowed like water from a brim of a jar full to its top. Suddenly, the room was stuffy and the air stifling. It was to breathe as well as think at the same time. She swallowed.
" How l-low?" The stammering was prominent and constant.
" I'm not sure but 5-7%. It can be more and we need to be hopeful." A minute of suffocating silence ensued and Rose thought about another thing she said. It was like forcing one word at a time.
" Uh-ah... Risk? " Is all Rose could manage because anything else was too much to ask.
" Risk leaving you behind without..."
" Stop, please..." That was when all hell broke loose for her.
And she ran.
She ran without stopping, just panting and wishing all this was just another of her nightmare.
Then she ran some more until she had no idea where she was.
Then she ran to her home and from the entrance to her room.
Finally, she ran to the Valleys.
Not because she wanted, but also not because she needed to, only because she had to.
Aman could see the story play in her eyes and he wished it just to be a story but it wasn't. It happened and his heart shriveled on the mere thought of it. He knew it in his bones that it was Thea. It had to be her. It was a stark real tragedy and when his tears rolled, Rose's million-times broken heart felt the pangs of guilt. She knew she was a coward for running away and abandoning him when he needed her the most. She should have confronted him but she chose a simpler way.
A way that hurts the most but feels like an escape. She was well aware it wouldn't shield her forever, someday she will have to face the drums but at that exact moment, she wanted to be nothing more than a coward.
With no words hanging in between them there was just the awful heart-melting painful silence. The air between them begged for some solace. But, eventually, someone had to say something. Questions needed to be asked and answered to be given. Explanations and reasons seemed to be a wise way forward but they didn't know where to start. If they could they would spend an entire lifetime staring at each other like this, but they can't. The world doesn't work that way, if it did one wouldn't dream of a paradise.
" Eh-Uh... Rosie, everyone wants you to come back." That was the most stupid thing to say after such a long period of stillness.
Her look justified that as she looked defeated, vanquished, exhausted, and miserably tired. He took a couple of steps to close the distance between them.
" Why Aman? W-why would you...?" It wasn't a question, it was more like a plea, a desperate plea for asking justifications for his actions. Aman had no clue exactly what she was suggesting for he had done a lot of things he shouldn't have.
" I-I can explain..." He had no other choice as his house of cards made of lies had fallen and it was terrifying to imagine how much longer it would have sustained in the first place.
She wiped her tears as they began to show up despite her best efforts to not break. But there's a limit to how much a person can be courageous and Rose was afraid she had surpassed hers.
" You..." She closed the gap between them and Aman exhaled as he could finally smell her more strongly and feel her aura and heat radiating. Her anger was somehow comforting him because she was reacting. It was a good thing.
She started by pointing a finger touching his chest and then gave him a nudge with whatever strength her body could provide her.
"... You, Aman, broke my heart. You broke it, crushed it to its very core, and then when I brought myself to believe that I was healing you came back. You came back..." She pushed him again and Aman could feel her affliction in the mere contact they shared. He couldn't speak, he only saw her face and her hazy eyes and how her lips were moving to form words, then sentences. He could perceive the pain. It was transcending between them.
" You returned only to break it again, in the end only to show much you love me, only to push me again. Do you have any idea, even one percent how much it might have pained me to see you? Guess I was the stupid one, I concede to that but then breaking it wasn't enough you lied. On my face. Everything about you, your life was a lie until a stranger... a stranger let me in. It was then when all hell broke loose..." She expressed all her words at a pace so slow that every one of them was a dagger in his heart. A staggering kill.
Tears flowed similar to the brook beside them.
" Now you're here, what for I ask? My sympathy or apathy or love or for drowning me in absolute guilt of my actions, for what I'm doing right now despite the fact that I'm privy to your 'secret'. No one can be as evil as I, right? Blaming a sick person for his deeds, for hurting the shit out of me, for lying to me, deceiving all of us, for hiding the most important thing about his life, for abandoning me... and lastly..." She took in deep breaths closing her eyes as if to brace herself.
"...and lastly for loving me so much...so much..." Aman hadn't realized that the pace of his tears was more fierce than Rose's. She stopped but she wasn't done yet. Not near as much. She was flowing like the breeze in the atmosphere that surrounded them, nonstop and full of vigor.
" So, I implore you, Aman. Please, while you're at it and as I've already laid my heart out in front of you, why don't you bless it with some more cuts, slashes, incisions, and then stamp on it as hard as you can, crush it to pulp and I know you will do better than I imagine so that it can finally stop beating and..."
He couldn't let her finish that line. He won't let her say that. The last thing he could ever do was to kill her even so metaphorically. All that he had done so far was an elaborate failed plan just to ensure that this day doesn't see the light of the blazing sun and come to bite him in his sorry ass but here they are. It wasn't just biting it was straightforward annihilating him. It's rightly said, You make plans and God has a good laugh at them. If only plans worked as they were intended to one wouldn't have felt the need to make contingencies. It was bad Aman didn't have one but now in the face of his worst nightmare, he was gonna make things right. He was adamant on that.
So, he kissed her.
He took her pearl face in his cold shaky shivering palms and kissed her.
He had to kiss her, not because he was dying to, yes because of that too but mostly because it was the only way that would shut her up.
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Hey Guys!
An early update dedicated to all my lovely persistent and patient readers and supporters.
Thank you. 🙌 😇 I appreciate each one of you.
I hope you enjoyed this chapter as I thrive to do justice to Aman and Rose's journey. This part has been a difficult one to write. A lot of information and too many emotions and feelings to reel in. 🥺
A lot more is yet to come. Stay tuned in...
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Luv... ♥
Vruksha.