We were currently sat in my room. Jungkook and I a millimeter away from each other, he's on the bed on his phone like always whilst I sat in my study chair reading up on one of my favorite novels. Honestly, I still have not figured out what's so interesting about texting random people for fun, I guess a cast out like me 'still' wouldn't understand.
I randomly steal a look seeing him wildly attacking his phone, his attention solely on the person he was texting. Rolling my eyes his bad habit never changes, I don't see the logic at all since it flew straight over my head, coming here just to ignore me is really cumbersome. And I sit here, left to endure the silence of this suffocating room, wondering when he is about to leave. Though, it's been about 2 weeks since we met each other, I am still not comfortable being around him like this.
I nearly rolled my eyes again when I saw his laugh, but I composed myself and continued to read. I thought it would be easy, since I have been doing this all my life, avoiding people as they did so to me, I've been like this for almost half of my life time, hence; being ignored by a total stranger would be nothing. However, is he considered a stranger to me? I've known him for almost one month now, and even if a bit farfetched, I've grown to like him.
I bit my lips in thoughts, remembering the first time he came to my house, his little bashful look as he smirk was enough as it is, it's eager for me to mess up his little 'alone time' as though I would thought of it. So annoying, it was definitely no different than what he was previously doing when he first came to my house. "Jungkook", I started.
He hummed so forceful it almost ticked me off, 'why did he come here?' was my afterthought. He looked like he would be better off if I wasn't here, heck; he looked better off being at his own home. Not lounging here like a freelancer; ignoring my every word!
"If you are just going to sit there and blatantly disregard me, then go back home" I added, and this time he must be offended, considering he stopped texting almost immediately, he stared in my direction, maybe for 1-2 minutes. Intimidated, that's how I felt as he watched me like a Hawk, and I could only avoid his eyes and went back to read my book.
He sighed once; groan twice and again but only louder, "I thought we were creating a bond here", I gave him a disgusted look, "was it only me? Bummer", I knew he was being sarcastic, at the same time trying to rile me up for some reaction. And for this reason I was trying my best to not listen to him, but the feeling of the word 'cringe' wasn't enough to describe my current situation. I could only sat, and take in his crazy talks.
"Did you say we were creating a bond? How is that? Let me guess, sitting and ignoring me as you talk with your little female friends, intelligent". I mocked calmly, still audibly cursing under my breath.
He laughs, "You almost sound like a jealous wife".
"Is joking like this all you can ever do, absurd". I quietly place my book down and stared at his face, his smile feigning innocence, beveling his head as if he didn't understand a word I was saying.
"Whatever, I'm going to get something to eat", I stood up, not forgetting to roll my eyes at him for one last time, and begin to walk away.
"Wait", I groan, "what?" And he hissed.
"Okay I am sorry; I forget you were too grumpy to take a joke. I'll keep my phone turned off whenever I am dropping by your place". He went to fetch his said blower. "Happy", he turned it to me, before he shuts it off.
Sigh, "Fine I really don't have time with you, so just sit...I'm sure a young master such as yourself doesn't eat convenience food right?" I went towards him, my hands filled with the ramen package I just make and the snacks I previously got from my Nuna.
"You really have a stuck-up impression of me, which hurts".
"Well, you've been proving that since I first met you", I smiled out through clenched teeth and Jungkook grimaced at my words. "Now eat".
.....................................................
I raised my eyebrows slightly at him. My eyes rest, not unblinking but slowed; yet the effect is soft and inviting instead of harsh. My fork repeatedly tapped the almost worn out plate, before I looked down for a brief moment at it, propping a slice of chocolate cheesecake in my mouth. Staring up again, for our eyes to lock over the table, his soft expressions of only a few minutes ago evaporated.
"Have you completely lost your mind now?"
"You know, I was thinking of something", I said.
"Thinking of what?" Jimin inflamed.
"You've been treating me so wrongly, you know I am not a bad guy...I'm just trying to get along with you, though it seems that I am the only one doing my best here. It was only a week ago, when you were so shy even when our hands touch slightly, but now you are so sharp-tongue, and rough with me. Wherever has my child go?" Jimin scoffed out and I looked towards him, "it's nice seeing this side of you, to tell you the truth I thought I wouldn't have this much fun staying with you. At first I thought you were some weak-ass push over, with a high IQ for nothing. And I hate people like that the most".
"Then why did you chose me to be with you then, if you hate persons like that. If I was just as you say, wouldn't it be just a punishment for you".
"I have my reasons; one is that you are the only person who is not hungry to get in my pants. You don't care about being in a relationship, and I know you won't fall for me, after all you don't linger yourself with those feelings right?" Jimin was surprised to say the least; he didn't know how to respond to that, after all he was indeed harboring feelings for him, something that he shouldn't do, Jungkook is his first crush and yet-
"Yes", he breathes, "I expected as much, I am the same as you. I hate relationship, I understand if you found it weird that a person as me who hate relationship is doing this. But I thought it through before I chose you, a lone wolf such as yourself will have a hard time trusting anyone, you have always been alone which is kind of sad, you've been alone for almost all your life and so it would be hard to get attached to someone".
That's quite the opposite actually.
"So I am glad I chose you instead of anyone, you are not annoying, you won't be so bothersome and you won't fall in love with me". He get that already, someone like him won't be able to be with someone like you.
"Is that so, I guess I am glad you chose me then", he smiles, giving the absolute opposite impression of what turmoil he was going through.
I continued, "Second is that you are definitely the type of person my mother would like, and third...I'm not ready to say as yet". I notice how the wrinkles increased between his eyes, I knew he would definitely concern himself about the third reason, and I had prepared my answer but it's just not the right time to explain as yet. He looked at me and I smile.
"It's not anything to worry yourself about, when the time comes then you will understand, okay?" he looked away, busying himself with his food.
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Hours after
I cast my eyes to the clouds, my mouth a full frown. It's absolutely cleared that the cloudy night is but a promise of scattered shower, each of them in graphite grey and etched upon the sky. 'It hadn't started to pour so maybe, I can get to my house fast enough before it does' this was what I had thought, but to say the least the weather was not on my side. The moment the sole of my shoes step past that door, they were bathed in the newly bequeathed rain, half soaking me, forcing me to stay in.
"Jungkook" I turn towards him, he was now wearing a grey shirt with a sweat pants, fitted for a sleep wear. The peach scent from his body wash was as a warm days and warm spices. I could have settled into its fragrance as willingly as the cat curls up in sunny rays. "The rain looks heavy, I don't think it will end any time soon, you should stay over", I gave him a pleasant, bland smile. For some reasons, it would be worrisome if I should stay here, but I don't want him to have the wrong idea that he is a bother. That being so, when was the last time I'd experience such phenomenon, it should ensue next week if I am not wrong.
"Sure, I'll take you up on that offer", he nodded, "uhm, my bed is a bit small?"
"No worries, I'll just take the couch", I ended the question and motion towards that specific quarter, before lying down. After another minute, the luminescence was gone and I slowly sleep through the dying of it, as it becomes consumed, replaced with darkness.
Meanwhile
In the ten hours I've been in bed, I must have woken up six times. Not for that long each time, but enough to break my sleep into un-refreshing chunks. The usefulness of my thoughts left long ago, leaving these fatigued neurons to fire almost randomly- flailing without direction. I want so much to not to think at all, I want to be absorbed into the darkness that the night promised me hours ago. Yet my brain is a violent swirl of stupidity, thinking thoughtlessly about the one thing I tried my best to ignore. I've never knew it would reach a point that I have become so self-obsessed, self- absorbed about him to the point that I had become sleepless, relentlessly be accompany by the down pour of the rain, and he was so long ago power napping, almost like a rock, knocked out in the Spartan of the couch. Dreaming about whatever events he could dream of other than me.
I breathe into the cold night, the air coming out like a mist. I stand up from the bed, my feet gently pulling into my slippers, and the linen, wrapped warmly like a hug around my body. I marched towards the couch, observing every toing and froing he makes, he was left bear less to the wintry, the shivers he makes and the low groans that left his lips was like a riddle to the slight guilt I felt. I sat down beside him, and as quick as a smiled played across my lips it was gone immediately.
I have known, that we live in completely different worlds, I will bring many obstacles and criticisms , no one would want someone like me it would be troublesome. I already know all that so I was planning to give up, but then I found out that it would be so hard to do so, having a love that is one sided is hard enough as it is, I have read many romance novels and watch many sit-coms to know that. So I was planning to close my heart to you, but who knew it would be so hard, even if I avoid you, you will found a way to come back, after all you only cared about your mother's wish and I have already agreed to help you. Love will not go away just because you say so. And now, I found out that you hate relationships, the biggest hurdle of it all.
My hands move towards his face, trailing through his hair, and tracing the lining of his lips. My brain falter for a moment, a bit dumbfounded by the moderate rise in temperature, I quickly shift my hands to his forehead, clarifying my confusion. I know he was wet marginally by the rain, but it shouldn't be that much for him to be feverish. The rain is still too heavy, and the stores should all be closed by now for me to go and buy a few medication.
I thought the frequent groans and shivers he makes was due to the cold, who would've thought it was symptoms as he had grown sick. I removed my hands, but the moment I stood up, I was impressively dragged back almost tripping onto him.
"Jungkook", I shirked a little, "don't go, please stay", he uttered and I was left silence, I didn't know what to say and I was so angry at myself to be happy, being needed by him in a such a way.
"I will only be going for a while, so relax", I reply and he slowly let go, a bit sadden by the loss of contact.
..................................................
Later in the night
I placed the cloth into some cold water, wiping at his body, his shirt was completely drenched in sweat, and his face, now that the light was turned on, was flushed. His temperature was getting higher, and his breathing was quickened, he looked like he was in pain.
I don't know if I should take his shirt off, but I don't think I should leave it on, either way, it's already this soak. I went to search for a shirt his size to wear, and when I found one I speedily went back to him. Trying to change him out of it, I was then stopping once more.
His eyes frowning shut, and the tightening of his grip increased, setting me in pain "Cho-nie, p-please don't leave me, don't go", a silvery tear escape his eyes, I've never seen him so miserable before, the accumulated ocean of brine beginning trickling through. "I love you, Cho-nie", I bit inside my mouth, hugging him into my arms until he began to calm down. The words I could never heard from him, is being said to someone else. And selfishly, I found myself wanting it to be me instead.
Instantaneously I was pushed, my head hitting the ground and a painful cry released. "Jungkook", I stared up at him, my state disoriented, so lost on what to do, and how to escape from his arms. He looked so different, his eyes were in a deeper shade than usual, and his pupil was now colossal. He growl, veins popping from his neck, but I wasn't scared, I should be scared yet I wasn't. I brought my hands to his face, and the anger which was mucilage in his eyes vanishes, replaced with innocent calm. He sink his head in my neck, a chill course my spine when he licked me, l flushed at the foreign contact. What is he doing right now? I tried to take a look at his face, but he growl and set me back in position, his frustration could be heard, before he bit at my neck causing me to yelp and unintentionally, I push him, my hands protecting the wound. A bit shock at my responds he got up, stepping away from me.
I shared a long stare with him, his actions starting to get a bit weird, and "are you okay Jungkook?" I question, and as if tongue-tied he didn't respond, however sensing my acting fears rising. I gathered by thoughts carefully, as I stand from the ground, but my behavior not only nettled at my cut, but scared the unnatural boy to run away.
I was still in shock at his timorousness; it took minutes before I run after him, "wait Jungkook!" But he was already long gone, in that freezing cold night.