"So, what's the plan for tomorrow morning?" Cecilia asked as she took a seat on the couch in the living room. Carefully, she pushed her hair behind her ears, making sure not to damage the nails Alice and Rose had just painted.
It was 10 PM, which meant that the Volturi would be on their doorstep in exactly twelve hours. She'd left the scheming and plotting to her family, instead spending time with whoever wanted to entertain at that moment. Today, she and her father had taken a long stroll through the woods surrounding their home, she'd listened to Jasper telling stories from his time as Major, baked cookies with her mother, tried out a new piece on her violin with Edward and played games with Nessie and Jake. They'd somehow managed to cramp two weeks worth of memories in two days and though she didn't exactly want to admit it, she was glad all of them distracted her from her own terrifying thoughts.
Somehow she managed to keep up a mask in front of her family, more for their sakes than her own. Or that is what she told herself at least. The calmness she'd woken up with yesterday had gradually turned into uneasiness that made her feel like her life was a porcelain vase carried in the hands of someone walking a thin piece of rope spanned between two tall buildings, about to shatter in thousands of tiny irreparable pieces any moment.
Jasper had tried to calm her down, but that had only made it worse and he'd given up on it after that.
"We'll go for honesty," her father said after a painful silence.
"Meaning?" she asked, her dark eyebrows raised high.
"Meaning you're coming with us to the clearing where we will meet them and we're going to tell the truth," her father elaborated. His eyes shifted from her to his wife, who gave him a reassuring nod. "And hope that something we say will change their minds."
"I still think we can take them on," Emmett said, looking pumped up. He'd been restless ever since Alice's vision.
"You're on your own on that one," Rose said, giving her soulmate a short slap on his knee.
Carlisle nodded. "You can't just take out the royalty and expect to live afterwards."
"Alright, I'm all game with honesty," Cecilia said, clapping her hands together with an enthusiasm she did not feel. She straightened her spine and jumped up from the couch, remembering she still had to finish Hymn to Aphrodite, since she hadn't been able to do so in the last two days. "See you all tomorrow, lads."
She quickly turned around to flee to her room, where she could mull over her terrible thoughts and wail in her own misery with a fake sense of privacy. She knew they would hear her toss and turn, maybe even let a slip a tear or two, but at least she could pretend they didn't.
"Can I talk to you for a moment, honey?" her mother called after her, causing her to halt instantly.
She didn't dare to turn around in fear of her mother's face, so, instead, she faced the flight of stairs. "No, I really want to finish Hymn for Aphrodite."
She wanted to continue her get-away to her room, but she knew she wasn't being fair, so with a little sigh, she turned around to face her mother. She'd been right to fear the expression on her mother's face. It was a mix of devastation and horror that made her own heart cry. She felt her eyes burn from tears threatening to spill, her throat ache from heartbreak. She struggled to find words.
Cecilia might excel in certain subjects and skills and she could even be considered as a social butterfly, always finding something to talk about, but the thought of expressing her emotions made her freeze up like she'd been left in the blistering cold for weeks and turned her usually with witty remarks filled brain dry. She found conversations with true and deep emotions more excruciating than shopping with Alice and Rose, though she had no idea why. Her whole family had always been really open to her, never pushing or forcing her to talk, but she just never felt comfortable letting her heart air out.
"I... uh," she stuttered. The way her voice cracked was a painful reminder of her mortality, of her imperfection. She didn't know what to say, so she just said the first words that popped in her mind. "I love you, mom."
"I know, honey," her mother said, smiling sadly. "I love you too."
The thought of hugging her mother, how much she might want to, alone was almost enough to start a waterwork of tears over her cheeks, so instead of being a good daughter and suffering through it, she hurried up the stairs. She didn't bother to turn op the heater, diving straight underneath the comfort of her covers, silent tears escaping her eyes.
➻
In the end, she hadn't even finished Hymn to Aphrodite. She was sure her salty tears would ruin the parchment if she tried to read it and besides, she knew the ending anyway. She felt there was no need to ruin a perfectly collectable book.
She woke up, or rather, slapped herself out of her misery early. She took a long shower first, enjoying the warmth of it on her skin, before taking a good and long look in the mirror. Her eyes had the colour of the sea after a particularly rough storm, though now they looked red and bloodshot, evidence from her late-night crying session. Her skin was sickly pale, even her lips, which were usually a rosy colour. It made the scar above her right eyebrow stand out even more. With a humourless chuckle, she realised she looked like a character of a horror movie, her life being that movie. Maybe if she joined her family at the meeting place like this the Volturi would mistake her for being dead already and leave her alone.
"Melodramatic masochistic wuss," she muttered to herself in the mirror. Like torturing yourself is going to help you any further, she thought to herself. She was glad she'd wasted all of her tears during the night, because although her eyes burned, nothing escaped them.
She took her sweet time to style her hair, putting the upper half in elaborate braids and leaving the curls underneath it free to flow down her back. She allowed a couple of loose locks to frame her face, smiling contently at the improvement. At least she didn't look like a zombie anymore. She grabbed her cherry flavoured chapstick next, putting a thin layer of it on her lips and a few daps on her cheeks to add some liveliness to her face. She didn't add any more make-up, knowing full well that the cold wind and possible snow would ruin it.
She lifted her arms, her hands folding together above her head as she enjoyed the way her muscles rolled underneath the tension of stretching. She let out a soft sigh as she lowered her hands, the best feeling ever. Cracking her neck and other joints, she walked back to her bedroom. On her bed laid a beautiful black knitted dress, with a pair of thick tights underneath it. Alice must have laid it out while she was in the shower, she realised.
She changed in the clothes carefully, trying not to ruin the masterwork she'd made of her hair. As she took a quick peek in the mirror, she was oddly surprised at how good it looked, hugging her body in all the right places. Too bad all of it was going to be covered by the cloak she had to wear to protect her from the cold.
She chose the comfort of her fuzzy slippers over the boots for the time being, forcing a happy smile on her face as she walked down the stairs.
Her whole family was seated in the living room, including Nessie and Jake, all of them wearing expressions like they were at a funeral. She supposed that wasn't far from the truth. She tried to think of something funny to say, even if they wouldn't find it funny at all, but her mind was blank. So, instead, she walked into the kitchen, the simple thought of food filling her with a nauseous feeling.
She grabbed the kettle and filled it with enough water to make a cup of tea, waiting patiently before the water was boiling. As she dropped in a bag of nettle, cranberry and citron tea in her cup, she took a quick glance at the clock. 8 AM. In an hour she would leave with Jasper and Alice to the meeting place, since they would take the Jeep. The rest of her family would leave later as it only took them a couple of minutes to reach the place of destination.
Her cold, but clammy hands enveloped the cup and quietly, she moved to the living room, sitting in between her mother and father. Everybody was awkwardly quiet, like they'd all turned in Bella's.
She heard Edward scoff in an amused way and she looked up, a smile almost automatically cracking through on her pale face.
"What's funny?" Rose asked, her tone probably more snidely than she intended for. Cecilia could hardly blame her, she'd been on edge for the past two days, storming out of the room in anger every time Cecilia made a misplaced joke.
"Celia was wondering if all of you turned into Bella," Edward explained.
"Why me?" Bella asked, looking seriously confused.
"Because of your lack of social skills, even as a vampire," Emmett said, a bouldering laugh escaping his mouth.
"Nothing's wrong with my social skills."
"Everything is wrong with your social skills, mom," Nessie butted in as well.
"Yeah, sorry, Bells, it's true," Jake agreed.
"You only say that because of Ness."
"Why don't you shut up, Blondie."
And just like that, the Cullen's living room was alive with laughter and cheerful banter. Cecilia smiled, leaning back on the couch and softly blowing her tea. She loved her family, even if all of them were an odd bunch.