published on: August 21, 2021
***
"It's time to leave Mew"
He picked a file from the table and started flipping on it, "You go ahead, I will stay for a while"
Pen nodded his head in understanding "Don't overwork" and with that note he left the office.
Once Pen left Mew slammed the file on the table and swirled in his chair, with closed eyes his eyeballs moving left and right in distress...
Sigh he grabbed on lighter from the drawer and went out to the balcony, pulled out the cig from his pocket placed the white bud between his lips, inhaled the deep puff of nicotine in one go.
Eyes trialed upside towards the pitch dark, he can't see any stars, not even the moon...he took another deep puff and exhaled it in darkness his gaze narrowed downwards towards the skyrocketed concrete jungle in front of him, shining brightly with every color, contrasting with dark sky.
The noises from the outside, indicating the busy life in the midnight of the city..
His trail of thoughts interrupted with a buzzing call in his pocket, he dashed out the phone and looked at the screen still smoking out making little puffs in the air. His sister was calling, he keeps on looking at the phone until it goes silent. He bowed on the banister, the phone buzzed again, but he stoic ignoring it, not even bothered to check the caller id, his brain is filled with the memory and touches of laughter he gets last night, can he feel free like that again.
He crushed the remaining bud of the cig, and resumed the reel of last night memory, took out another cig from the pack and put it in his mouth, chewed a little on white bud, took hundredth of puff in a little span.
That man has occupied his mind for the whole day, it was frustrating yet lively... for the whole day he was physically present and talking to the people and attending the meetings but in his unconscious brain, he was still rolling on that floor laughing with Gulf... singing silly songs, he wants to experience that kind of laugh and freedom once again...
Was he that drunk, does the liquor was too strong to make him delusional, or he just felt light at the moment...
Should he go there once again, but he has no reason to be there, what would he say, he has no reason, no grudge, no revenge to take, no business to deal with...
He looked at his wristwatch, would he be at home??, he came late on Saturdays, should he go and check whether he is home... Safe,
Did someone try to invade his apartment? Would he brought someone with him, but he said he won't bring people home...Sigh, it is really frustrating.
He took out his phone again he can give a call, they can have a little chat right,
He went through his contact list and wahhhhh he doesn't have any details, Just amazing really amazing, he threw tantrums on the poor railing and wall beside that, and of course, it will lead him to lighten up another cig, this is gonna be a long night for sure.
****
Gulf smiled at the crowd, throwing his flirtish smirks, beating on drums along the rhythm moving his shoulders and head along with, making the crowd go crazy with his unbuttoned shirt and messy hair...but his mind engaged in finding answers of few questions like,
"Would he come tonight",
"He knew I would be late on Saturdays",
"But yesterday he was early, would he wait??, sigh,
What should he do, if he didn't come..... should he look for a hookup, it has been almost two weeks, he gets nothing, no sparkles, no s**x, strangely he didn't miss it too much, maybe he was too occupied in handling grown-up man, who likes to cuddle. Gulf chuckled and shakes his head still heating on drums...
Recalling him rolling on the floor, what a rare sight, he hoped that no one sees him like this, if anyone does they would know how silly he could be.
It is really amazing how can he wakes up so early in the morning, surprisingly today he left earlier than usual, they have been eating breakfast daily together, and dinners too, would he stop now, He shakes his head to concentrate on music instead of some pale, shiny, weird, grumpy but goofy guy...
The performance ends with loud cheers and claps, he came out the stage, and without considering to stay and look for some hookups he rushed towards home.
Took a quick shower had some light dinner, the clock is ticking indicating it's past 1 o'clock.
What should he do??, should he wait for him??, or should he sleep??, Sigh, he doesn't know, he went up to the refrigerator, a two-word sticky note welcomes him..
"Eat breakfast" he smiled at the note, caressing it, "Silly", "at least put a smiley, "can't you thank me for once, or say sorry", "grumpy"
After having monologues with the sticky note, he finally entered his bedroom, ahhh it is delightful to finally sleep on an actual bed, not the couch or floor..
It seems like he is gonna have a good good night today, he jumped on his bed humming and rolled on it like a dog, rubbed his body on it..
I missed you too muhhh muhhh he give kisses to his pillow, hugged his comforter and pillow, feeling comfortable under the soft touch...spread on it like a starfish, smiling... it felt nice,
*
*
*
Seven hundred forty-five,
Seven hundred forty-six,
Seven hundred forty-seven.
"Uhhhh...." he grunts and changed the side for the umpteenth time, he can't sleep, with the number of sheep he has counted he can open a farm with that...
Knock knock
Did he hear a knock on his door, he ran with the speed of flash and opened the door wide open, but no.. no one is there.
He ran outside in the corridor, went till the end and checked on the lift, and stairs area, but no...
No one is out there, Sigh, he clicked the door behind him still looking back with alert ears, he opened the door once again peeping out, but no one is there...
This is his third time hearing a knock on his door, does he getting hearing issues, he snapped few times, knocked on the door, he can hear properly.
Sigh, what time is it, what.....3 AM already, he should sleep...
He tossed and turn on his comfortable bed, "Two thousand twenty-nine sheep",
"Two thousand thirty sheeps"
"Ahhhhh" he sprang up "It is not working",
What is wrong with him, he is hell tired, he has work tomorrow and here he can't sleep, he gets up and went out in the living area, and slouched on the couch, tossed and turn on the couch and tried to find a comfortable position, but no, no luck tonight..
He rustled towards the kitchen, maybe green tea can help, eyes fall on a sticky note on the refrigerator, and sigh
"Maybe, Little workout can help" he put on music and started doing Zumba following the lady, he can see the sun rising from his window, and here he is doing Zumba without sleep
***
"Your coffee"
"Hmmm"
"Did you spent the night here??"
"Hmmm...was looking for something" his eyes remain closed head rested on a chair..
"Don't stress out much"
"Hmmm"
Pen nodded and left the office,
Mew picked his phone as his daily routine, he orders food for two. After placing the order he again rested his head on back, a sec later he realized what he has done. He abruptly took his phone and canceled the order, "Stop Thinking, Stop Thinking" he rubbed his face and called for Pen...
"Order som tam for me"
Pen looked at him, not saying anything but judging without a word he came out of the office, wondering, what is the deal with Som tam??
The day was busy, he gets busier with every file, his schedule became hectic as he asked for, but something is missing, what it is??.... he can't pinpoint, he wishes he could, but he can't..
He is craving for Som Tam but it doesn't taste the same, something is missing in it...
*
*
Prink was fidgeting outside, waiting patiently, she saw Mew coming out of the elevator
"Mew??"
He ignored her and keeps on walking...
"P'Mew"
"yes??"
She ran after him, "Can we talk for a while??"
"Sure, book an appointment" he didn't bother to stop and look at her...
"This is wrong, you are doing it wrong, you are playing dirty"
He stopped and turned to face her, "who started it??",
"It was not my fault"
"Sure, Then it must be mine"
"Piii"
"you could have said, clearly you don't want to marry"
"Have you ever accepted No for an Answer"
"And you thought I would accept cheating as an answer??"
"I was not thinking he would come like that",
Mew's eye arched, "so you were planning to hide it"
She shakes her head, there is no use of hiding, "I...I..." she was fidgeting..
"Am I that bad??"
She shakes her head for no, tears hanging around the corner of her eyes, It didn't steer any emotion inside him, but strangely his brain dragged to Gulf's crying face, he looked sad yet beautiful.
Mew shakes his head... has he lost it, or did he became gay just by meeting one..
She looked at him with glistering eyes, "Piii"
Mew gazed at her judgingly, "Have you ever loved me in these past three years, or you were just pretending"
She sobbed again...
"Answer me??"
He said with a commanding voice, she hates it, she hates it when he talks to her like that, she hates it when he orders her like that, feelings getting bottled up, she gave a week cry, "You tell me first, have you ever loved me??"
This is pointless they will keep arguing, without understanding each other,
His fingers rake his perfectly styled hair, "It is pointless", he looked at her face, and sigh there is nothing to talk and fight over, "This relationship is done" he turned around to leave the building, but she held his wrist...
"First tell me have you ever loved me??"
He make his wrist free from her hand, and rubbed on his wrist like he is wiping the essence of her from wrist if it caught any, "If I don't, then why in the world; I would be marrying you "
"Have you ever thought about me??" she asked with boggling lip
"Huhhh??"
"Have you ever considered about what I want", "You love someone by ordering them around, is this your way to show love, is that what you call love", "Do you ever know what I want, have you ever tried to know that??"
Mew frowned at her. How could she say that he always keeps his eye of her, whatever clothes bags, accessory whatever she wanted she get it without even asking for it,
Mew observed she likes jewelry and has a great interest in gems, that's why he invested in her jewelry business, she never has to ask anything she will get it..
Or should he always ask , to let his partner know that he is doing something for them...
"If you are still talking about the dress, then leave it"
"It is not only about the dress, but everything", "You don't even kiss me in public", "And what is the deal with kissing on the forehead" "You don't even interlink fingers with me, Just holding wrist" "like seriously"
"I don't like PDA"
She huffed,
He felt stung in his eyes, he assumes that people who are close to him, will know him, he is taught to behave in a certain way in public, he can't spoil his image, like that, so he hopes people close to him know this, that is why he is different in front of a crowd and in person,
"Then why were you with me??"
"At least my bills were getting paid, and I got the investment" once the words slip out of her mouth, she knew her mistake.
"Phi, it is not like that, it just came out wrong" she tried to hold his hand again, but he backed his hands,
He likes her as a companion, trusted her, believed that she values his boundaries as he respects her,
How can he fail to judge someone, was he that blindfolded, his grandfather would be ashamed of him, that he still lacks in judging people...
He can't let emotion surpass right now, "Hmmm interesting"
"Please don't take out the investment", "it is huge amount" she begged in tiny with glittery eyes.
"You should be thankful, I am leaving your parents business aside" she gaped at that
"Give me some time, I will pay it back, I am at the edge of being insolvent"
"you have to be loyal to your allies.. you know that right??, "That is the rule of business, if you don't.... then deal can be jittery.... the marriage was deal, you backed away from the deal, I think I too have the right to back away, I hope you understand" He gave his business smile and put his shades on and came out of the building....
He felt hungry all of sudden, the burden he felt of doing something wrong is lifted, he is free now, the emotions which drained him in these past two weeks were over, he could start a new right?
He wants to eat som tam
***
***
"You are smoking again", Pen placed the coffee on Mew's table and som tam with it
"Mew??"
He was eating Som tam for three consecutive days, it is bothering Pen,
"Pen??"
"Yes"
"I want to go somewhere"
"where??""
"Somewhere??" he looked at his packed som tam, "Far.... Far... From Here"
"Mew??", Pen took a seat in front of him
"If something is bothering you, you can tell me"
Mew rested his face on palm, "My routine, I want it back"
"You had it back, you are always on schedule"
"No, it is broken"
"How??"
He inhaled the cig, and averted his gaze, Pen knew he is not gonna get anything from Mew, the guy is not gonna say anything if he don't want to
"Tell me my schedule??"
"It is packed as you asked for, you wanted it packed"
"For how long??"
"For a month now", "Few dates are still line up for next month"
"Can you vacate it"
"I can try, how much time you want??"
He exhaled the smoke out, he doesn't know how long he wanted to be out,
But he wanted to be out,
Where he can't find som tam.
Where he can stop thinking about him.
Where he can stop the urge to knock on his door.
Where he can stop imagining himself singing on that floor.
Where he can stop thinking about those chapped plumped lips.
Where he can find his old self back...
"A week, Iguess??"
"I will try" he snatched the cig from Mew's hand, and crushed it on tray, "Enough"
Mew just nodded his head.. and went to have his SomTam...
Pen looked at Mew's disoriented state and patted on his shoulder, usure of what is bothering his friend... Is it because of Prink's visit, or is he still stuck on that guitarist, sigh he can never understand him...
***
Gulf was tossing and turning on his bed,
Three days,
He didn't showed up for three days, he should be happy.... right??, he was a nuisance, it is frustrating
He came to the living area, watched it in silence, there is nothing there, everything is in place, nothing on the floor, the magazines, the remote controller, the AC remote, even cushions were aligned properly,
He stands in front of the couch for a while, and pushed it further back till it hit the wall, picked cushions and threw them on the floor scattering them randomly, and settled on the carpet...
"I think I need renovation"
he took out his phone and text Mild, "I need renovation, check out for interior designer"
*
*
*
Saturday night, lack of sleep, with fatigued body and here he is still beating the sticks on drums trying to reduce his stress, his frustration, hiding his fatigue under those heavy beats...
The only thing which can divert him is to scan people, soon they got fixed on the tan man who was directly looking into his eyes, their eyes fixed on each other and world stopped for a while, his lips curled into a smile,
He came out thanking everyone with a big smile and ran towards where the man was sitting not letting go the eye contact.
He took a seat beside the man, and passed a drink on him, "Try this one, it is the best choice here"
The man chuckles, "Not Interested"
"You seem new, I never saw you here before"
He chuckles again, "You uses the same lines on everyone??"
"Yaa, as long as they work" he slanted little on the table, putting his body on display...
The man chuckled again, and started buttoning his buttons, feels like nostalgia, "People can get wrong ideas"
Gulf felt most happy when he saw his buttons are all tied up, his moles are hidden from the sight of others, he looked at the man who is smiling at him lovingly...
he guesses his moles have already lost their charm, seems Jinx works...
***
I will post one chapter in few hours