Emery's POV:
I trudged up the stairs, adjusting the strap of my purse over my shoulder. Today was longer than usual because I had an interview and rehearsal. I was so tired I felt like I could collapse, but at the same time I was starving so going straight to bed wasn't an option. I reached the top of the stairs and walked over to my door, unlocking it and stepping inside.
There was a familiar smell in my apartment, something that almost smelled like home. I shut the door and Mason turned around, an apron tied around his waist.
"You're here before I was ready," he said sheepishly.
"What are you doing?" I asked, dropping my purse and keys on the small table by the door.
"You're so tired and stressed and missing home, I just wanted to give you a piece of it," he said, pulling a bottle of Coca-Cola from the refrigerator. "So I looked up a copycat recipe for Fatso's burgers and, well," he said, making a face as he glanced at the skillet. "I'm not sure that it will taste like Fatso's but I gave it a shot."
"You are so sweet," I said, unable to stop the smile as I made my way over to him, dropping my arms over his shoulders and leaning up for a kiss. "Thank you. Thank you so much."
"You might not want to thank me until you try it," he chuckled, wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing me.
"The fact you even tried is enough for a thank you," I murmured against his lips. "Thank you."
"You're more than worth the effort, my darling," he said, kissing me a little harder, pulling me tighter against him. That kiss didn't just affect me, I felt him pressed against me and he groaned, pulling out of the kiss. "If we don't stop, dinner will never come. The lights will be on in less than five minutes. Why don't you go out and I'll bring you a glass of wine? The food should be done very soon."
"Okay," I agreed, wrapping my arms around him in a hug and resting my head in his chest. "I'm most likely going to pass out as soon as we're done eating," I warned him.
"God knows you need it," he said, kissing the top of my head. "We better hurry then, before you fall asleep. Seriously, Em, just try to relax. You've had too many long days too many days in a row."
"You're a saint, you know?" I said, pulling back and heading to the balcony. "A total angel."
"Takes one to know one," he said, winking.
I giggled and stepped out onto the balcony, collapsing down on one of the seats and removing my shoes. I pulled out my phone to check the time and saw I was almost eight. The lights would be coming on any second.
"Here you are," Mason said, stepping onto the balcony with a glass of wine.
He set it in my hands then leaned down for another kiss, keeping this one brief. "Thank you," I said as he pulled back and went back inside. I slunk back into my chair and brought the glass to my lips, taking a sip and savoring the taste, my eyes sliding shut with a very real danger of not opening again for a while. I was ready to fall asleep on any surface.
My phone alerted me of a new notification and I sighed, not wanting to deal with anything more today. Then I remembered my and Gwen's video call was cut short and I was supposed to text her when I got home even though she'd probably be in bed. Unless of course she was up for work, considering that had me pulling my phone out again as I took another sip of wine.
The wineglass slipped out of my hand and shattered on the balcony as I read the notification from the app I used to stay in contact with everyone back home.
Milo Sanders sent you a friend request.
"Emery, are you okay?" Mason asked, rushing outside. I couldn't find my voice, I couldn't look away from the notification. "Emery," Mason said, taking a seat next to me and setting his hand on my shoulder. "What's wrong?"
"I..." I started but my voice cracked. I slowly dropped my phone to my lap and took in a deep breath, shaking my head to get my focus back. "I'm sorry," I said, my eyes landing on the broken glass. "I didn't mean to drop it. It was an accident."
"Don't apologize, it's just glass," he said, tucking my hair behind my ear. That didn't help. That reminded me of that night in the car, when Milo and I had our first intimate moment, he tucked my hair back very much like Mason just did. "Are you okay? God, Emery, I really think you've been working too hard. You need some rest."
"No, no, no," I said, shaking my head. "Sorry, I just got distracted. I'm fine, really. Just tired but I have a half-day off tomorrow."
"I'm thinking it should be a full day off," he said, frowning in concern.
"No, honestly, I'll be okay," I assured. "I'll get more sleep tonight and that will help."
"All right," he said uncertainly, rising from the chair. "Just keep your feet up and away from the glass, okay? I'll get the broom to get this cleaned up."
"Thank you," I said, bringing my knees to my chest.
I didn't look at my phone again until Mason walked inside. Milo Sanders sent you a friend request. My heart was racing. Why would he say something to me now? It had been months of complete silence. He never responded to my many attempts to talk to him, he didn't say goodbye to me, why would he say something now?
"Are you sure you're okay?" Mason asked as he returned with the broom and started sweeping up the glass. "You look pale."
"I always look pale," I pointed out, laughing lightly probably more in an attempt to keep the panic down.
"You know what I mean," he said, rolling his eyes and crouching down as he swept the glass into the dustpan. "I'll get you another glass, if you want?"
"Please," I nodded. "I won't drop this one."
He chuckled and stood, walking back inside with the broom and dustpan. I picked up my phone again, rereading the notification. I didn't know what to do. We hadn't spoken in so long and things were different now. I was with someone. What could he possibly want from me after all this time?
My heart quickly decided it didn't matter what he wanted. Milo hadn't escaped my thoughts for any significant amount of time, and there was a small part of me that thought, what if he's having a bad day and he just needed to reach out to someone? That made my decision easy and I accepted the request, holding my breath as I waited to see what would happen next.
I thought maybe a text, if anything. The last thing I expected was a call. My heart stopped as I saw him calling me and I looked back inside towards Mason. It wasn't wrong of me to answer, was it? It's not like I was doing anything inappropriate. I only wanted to make sure he wasn't in crisis. It was just a phone call. Just a phone call. I took a deep breath and swiped to answer.
"Hello?" I answered, bringing the phone to my ear and swallowing hard.
"Emery."
All the time I'd spent trying to get over Milo, trying to not dwell on him, trying to not let my feelings be completely wrapped up in him, it all went away way too easily at the sound of him saying my name. God, I missed his voice so much. I should not miss it as much as I did.
"Milo," I said, unsure of what else to say. "Um... How are you?"
"I'm fine," he said. I could almost picture him avoiding my eyes like he often did when he was nervous. "How are you?"
"I'm... Okay," I said, frowning in confusion. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"I am," he said. He did sound okay, but if he was, then why did he call me?
Awkward silence passed. Neither of us said anything. Mason came out with another glass of wine and inclined his head towards my phone questioningly. I mouthed 'a friend' and he nodded, heading back inside. Was that accurate, was Milo my friend? I didn't even know what was happening. I needed to just ask him.
"Milo, why did you call me?" I asked at the same time he said. "I saw you're performing at Carnegie Hall in two weeks."
Our words overlapped and I wasn't sure he even heard me.
"I..." he started but stopped. I bit my lip, bringing my knees to my chest even tighter. "I've missed you."
Oh God. I didn't know what to say to that. I was with Mason.
"I've missed you too," I said quietly.
Shit, shit, shit! I couldn't say that to him!
"I know I... Didn't communicate with you like I should have," he said. "I just... I had some things to work through. Well, a lot of things I suppose." Another pause. I almost spoke but then he spoke again. "I started seeing a psychologist."
I started seeing a psychologist. I could've cried in relief. I let out a long sigh but did it away from the speaker so he wouldn't hear it. He was seeing someone. Oh, thank God.
"Milo, that's wonderful," I said. "I'm so happy you're seeing someone. How's it going?"
"It's... All right, I suppose," he sighed. "Some days I like him, other days he gets on my nerves."
That was very much a Milo response and I couldn't help the smile. "It's impossible to have someone never get on your nerves."
"Well, you didn't get on mine," he said quietly.
"I think I got on your nerves quite a bit," I said honestly.
"No, not really. Only when you were annoyingly right about something, but never in a big way. I always loved being with you."
I didn't realize I'd stopped breathing until I had to try much harder to breathe. I wasn't sure what to say.
"Emery, I... I'm sorry. For how things happened, for not being there when you left and for being silent for so long," he sighed. "It's not a reflection of you, I hope you know. There's just... A lot of things in my head."
I nodded slowly. "I understand," I said honestly. I did understand. It hurt like hell, but I did understand. "It's okay."
"Is it?" He asked, seeming surprised.
"I mean..." I sighed, shaking my head. "I'll be honest with you, it hurt to not hear from you. But I was never really completely upset with you. I get it, I do. You have a lot going on."
"Right," he said. "You do too. How's the tour?"
"It's..." I started then stopped, letting out a long sigh I didn't bother to hide this time. "Honestly, it's been amazing, but I am very ready to be home. I'm just really worn out and I miss Chicago."
"Been working too hard?" He asked.
"We've never been great at taking time off, you and I," I pointed out.
"Yes, well..." he stopped. Another awkward silence followed and I stood, unable to just sit while on the phone with him. I was too antsy. "You'll be coming home soon, won't you? I saw you're performing at Carnegie Hall in two weeks. You must be excited."
"Yeah," I said, unable to stop the smile. "Yeah, I'm really excited for Carnegie Hall. I don't have to look up pictures online anymore."
"A different kind of incredible," he said.
I wasn't sure why him saying that made me emotional. I took a deep breath before responding as I paced back and forth on the balcony. "Definitely a different kind of incredible. Maybe I'll get to see that Tchaikovsky signature."
"I'm sure you will, especially as a performer, they would be more than willing to show you," he said. God, those long pauses were going to kill me. "I'm attending that performance."
"At Carnegie Hall?" I asked, my heart starting to pound.
"Yes," he answered. "I... I couldn't imagine you going there for the first time and me not being there to witness it."
I bit my lip and leaned back against the balcony wall, closing my eyes for a moment. This was dangerous. I was with someone. I was going to have to tell him I was with someone because the amount of feelings surfacing right now were ridiculously unfair to Mason.
"I'm glad you'll be there," I said honestly. "I mean, you were one of the first people I talked to it about so it seems fitting. I'm hoping to get a lot of people there for that performance, honestly, it means a lot to me, that I was invited to play there." Now just say it, Emery. Tell him your boyfriend will be there too. Just get it out before this conversation goes too far.
"I'm not surprised you were invited to play," he said. "I've been following your work. You've performed in some amazing places."
"You've been following my work?" I repeated, setting my hand on my chest. Oh no heart flutters, don't start again, don't you dare.
"Yes, from the beginning," he said. "I never stopped thinking about you. Not for a second. I've been... Working up the nerve to say something to you for months."
"You have?" I whispered.
"Yes, I've watched all the performances, seen all the interviews. I missed you too much, it gave me a way to be close to you while I tried to... Sort through things."
As if heart flutters weren't bad enough, I felt a small sting in my eyes, tears that were threatening to surface as a result of hearing he'd been thinking about me. Stop it, stop it, you have a boyfriend and you need to tell him that. To say I was nervous to tell him was an understatement, but it didn't change the fact I had to. "Listen," I started, taking a bracing breath. "I... I'm kind of, uh..."
"I want to see you," he said. "I really want to see you. Would you have dinner with me in New York, after your performance? I know you'll be too nervous to eat beforehand and I know a wonderful restaurant. It has amazing food and it's private, a good place to... To talk."
Dinner with Milo. Could I have dinner with Milo and not completely fall apart? I thought I'd moved past him, I hadn't thought about him as much, hadn't cried about him in so long, but now that I was talking to him, feelings that shouldn't still be there were resurfacing. But God, did I want to see him. We could be friends, couldn't we? Or could I? I shouldn't even have to wonder if I could, I was with Mason. That was another issue. It would feel wrong to be friends with Milo without talking to Mason about it, given the nature of our relationship. Milo wasn't exactly an ex but he wasn't nothing, either. We'd been physical together and I wasn't sure how Mason would feel about that.
"You don't have to say yes," he said. Shit, I stayed in silence too long. I probably made him anxious. "I know that I fucked up, Emery, I know that. I don't expect you to just forgive me immediately but I just want to see you. I have a lot of things I want to say to you and I want to say them face to face."
"Milo, I... Of course I would love to see you," I said honestly. "But I feel like I need to tell you something before I say yes so that there's no miscommunication about what dinner together means."
"Em, sweetheart, what do you want on your burger?" Mason asked. "Lettuce, tomatoes?"
"Oh, uh, I'll be right there," I said, sending him a smile. "Give me just one more minute."
"All right," he said, heading back inside.
"You're not alone," Milo commented.
I closed my eyes and dropped my head, taking in a deep breath. "No," I answered. "I'm not alone. That was um..." God, why was this so hard to say? I didn't owe him anything. He left me in complete silence for months, so why was this so hard? "That was my boyfriend," I finally said. "We've been together for a couple months."
"I see," Milo said. If I thought the silence was awkward before, it was nothing compared to right now. "Someone you met over there? Saying goodbye won't be pleasant."
"Uh, no, actually, we don't have to say goodbye," I said, running my fingers through my hair. "He's from Chicago. I met him at a performance I did shortly before Europe and then we just bumped into each other over here a few times and... I don't know, it just kind of happened. We started as friends and it ended up being more. He's been in Chicago the last month and actually just recently came back to Europe to spend my last couple weeks here with me but we're flying back to the states together. He'll be at Carnegie Hall, too."
"Ah," he said.
"I'd still like to see you at Carnegie Hall," I said. I could cut this tension with a knife but I didn't know what to do. "It seems silly that we'd both be there and wouldn't see each other."
"Yes, well, let's just see how you're feeling, shall we?" He said. "It's not too long after you return to the states that you have to perform, you may be too tired to see me."
"I won't be," I said honestly.
"Let's play it by ear," he said. I hated the way my heart hurt to hear the hope drain out of his voice. "It was nice to hear your voice again, Emery, but I don't want to intrude on your evening. We'll talk again another time. Have a nice night."
He hung up before I could answer and I sighed, leaning back against the wall and dropping my head in my hands. I tried not to be upset with him, I really did. I knew he had a lot going on, but did he really expect me to just put my life on hold and hope he'd eventually come back to me? That was crazy. He said he didn't expect me to forgive him right away but he also seemed surprised to hear I was with someone. Did he think I'd just never date again? God, I was overthinking this. Milo wasn't like that. He probably also just felt the awkwardness and didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to say, either.
It didn't matter, I had no control over what Milo did or felt. I could only control what I did and I felt, and so I went back inside with Mason and tried to shake it off. The burgers were good despite Mason trying to downplay the attempt, it was nice to be with him like it always was. The only thing wrong was me, because I thought I had control over what I felt, but my brain wanted nothing but to remind me of Milo.
A/N:
Heyy loves! Well there were several suggestions for what to do as a thank you for 10k followers but bonus chapters for both books definitely won out. Thanks for 10k followers!! 🥰❤ Let me know what you thought of this chapter!
Oop, Milo has made contact, were you surprised?
Em certainly tried to get over Milo but it's not working out so well now that he's talking to her again, what do you think she'll do?
Ooof, there was some tension there when she told him she had a boyfriend, what do you think Milo will do?
Any guesses about what we can expect at this concert everyone is supposed to be going to?
take care, loves!