It was a look that he will never forget.
tag(s): marking, mild nsfw
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He didn't like that look.
There is no way in hell that he'd ever like the way Felix looked at him with so much gentleness and care as if he was nothing but a mere fragile glass that will be broken upon a single touch.
He didn't like that.
He didn't like to be taken care of.
He didn't like to feel like he's nothing but a mere incapacitated man whose lips are strongly hungry for Felix's heart-shaped ones. He didn't like to feel like he's nothing but his usual dark scheme, and is all set, bound to end up on his bed with Felix smiling at him.
"Why are you smiling?"
He wanted answers. He needed answers.
If holding Felix still with his hands on his either waist can make Felix spill the answers that he's been looking for, he'd be more than willing to subject himself into the excruciating slow gaze, and desire to lunge himself forward and take Felix.
All the fuck out of him.
"You kissed me back." Felix replied to him nonchalantly, like he was nothing but a man of truth, stating facts that never bothered him unlike Hyunjin.
He didn't like that look.
Please.
Just not that look.
"What did you want me to do?"
Felix never let his eyes stray away from Hyunjin.
In the position where Hyunjin tops over Felix, his hand gripping tight on Felix's waist while Felix was just reclining his whole torso with his lower back about to snap, Felix smiled at him wider and looked at him softer.
Like how can a pair of eyes emit so much light in that room that deemed the light lamp useless?
"Run. Like you always do."
it was such a statement that wanted to topple Hyunjin's head off and create a mess. He wanted to get mad at Felix for telling him off, for calling him out in the wilderness despite not being wanted to be called.
He didn't ask to be seen. He didn't ask to be heard.
But goddamn, it didn't feel the least awful to finally be treated as a person.
He didn't want to admit it because he had to hate Felix.
He had to dislike the way Felix looks at him when his small hand runs over his damned hair. He had to dislike the way Felix pressed both of his palms against his cheeks and massaged it with little circles. He had to dislike Felix's knees that opened and let him get in his legs, both of their crotches touching. He had to dislike feeling Felix—liking Felix.
He had to hate him.
Because if he won't, he'd end up with nothing but a heartbreak.
"What made you think I am not running away from you, princess?"
He will end up broken.
Into pieces.
Into bits.
Until he is unable to mend himself.
"Then why is your body against me, cradling me like any minute now I'd leave you?" Like a challenge prepared by Felix, his deep voice was the only thing that seemed to calm his overthinking thoughts.
It was as if Felix's touch can easily turn him around and soothe his aches with tenderness and love.
Felix was so nice to him.
And he had to dislike it.
"Princess," he muttered softly. His breath slightly fanned Felix's features that were illuminated with the warm lights. Felix looked stunning under him. Felix looked calm despite being held by no other than Hyunjin.
"Are you messing with me?"
If he could scream the words like a taunt, he would. If he could scathe Felix with the edges of his deranged thoughts, he would.
But fucking Felix pressed his thumbs against the corner of his lids, tracing the figure of his eyes and reigned over the mole. Delicately, he drew invisible lines. A mark without an ink, a mark without the proclamation.
You own me, Felix.
His torso was dangerously close to laying flat against Felix. His knees could only hold so much weight without wobbling, and his fingers could only leave so much mark on Felix's skin to justify the reason why Felix was in his room in the very first place.
He could only do so much.
But not for Felix.
"Or are you messing with me, Hyunjin?"
It was a simple question that demanded a simple answer. In that short span of time, he knew that Felix could see through him; that Felix could see just how broken he already was. Felix, for sure, could see just how tangled the knots of his thoughts are in his head—pain, guilt, regret, lust, wrath, glutton—and they are all there in the form of light in his eyes.
Felix could see him.
Felix could hear him.
"Do not make me fall for you, Felix."
He was desperate.
If only his eyes could write the desperation in him, Felix would stop playing with him. If only his lips would stop quivering and just begin to tell everything out and spill his insides for Felix to feast over, Felix would stop looking at him like he was falling.
Because if only his eyes could stop showing Felix just how much Felix meant to him at that point, Felix wouldn't even bother pulling him in and kissing him for the second time around.
Push.
Pull.
Push.
Pull.
That was the kind of game that they did to each other.
Push. Felix bit his lower lip. Pull. He closed his eyes and tried to pull himself away. Push. Felix's hand on his face gripped on him tighter. This time, they were inclined to make sure that he wouldn't pull himself farther. Pull. He opened his mouth but quickly pushed his tongue out and tasted Felix. Push. Felix ran his hand down and pulled him closer by his neck. Pull. His right hand fumbled the edges of his shirt while his fingers ghosted over the firm abdomen on the smaller.
Push and pull; that was their game.
But who said that there has to be a winner and a loser?
"I want to get to know you, Hyunjin. Please, let me." Felix mumbled against his staggering breath.
Closely, Hyunjin could see it.
He could see the sincerity in Felix's eyes as his fingers didn't stop running against Felix's abdomen. He could see the tears that brimmed on the edges of Felix's eyes, threatening to fall down any minute then. He could see his effect on Felix—the red-bitten lips, the flushed sweaty neck, the tent that touches his crotch, and most especially the one last look Felix gave him before he closed his eyes.
Felix looked at him with so much adoration he never thought he'd be able to see from someone that isn't his friend. Felix looked at him without any malice, without any fear. Felix looked at him for he was him.
And he didn't want that.
Because the more that Felix did that,
The more that he'll find himself falling for him.
Hard. Madly. Crazily.
In love.
"Princess."
This was his last chance to call out to Felix and warn him.
And he expected for Felix to snap back and tell him off, but of course, it's Felix.
"I want to like you for who you are, Hyun." He flinched at the nickname. "I want to. Let me."
That look.
For the first time in his stay inside that building locked out to the general public with only Chan, Seungmin, Jisung and mostly Felix to bother, he smiled. Genuinely this time.
He smiled so wide he thought it'd hurt him. He smiled so wide that Felix felt his hand stop right above his stomach and open his eyes just to see him smiling like a fool.
He smiled so wide that he almost forgot just who Felix was.
"Princess," he figured he didn't need to call the attention of the person whose whole attention was on him, but he still did, "Have I ever told you just how beautiful you are?"
Felix shook his head and opened his mouth to answer, but before he could ever let out a response, Hyunjin already pushed his face further and didn't plan on kissing him with the utmost care.
Their lips danced like how the birds fly across the empty sky with moonlight raining down to their feathers. Their lips danced like how Felix's fingers interlaced on his nape and his hip bucked forward to a more comfortable position. Their lips danced like how his hands pulled the shirt he almost yanked off Felix's body and covered him. Their lips danced without an accompanying music but their mere heartbeats.
With each thump was the passion of their tongues, saliva mingling together like a taste that was meant to be combined. Teeth somehow grazed each other that made their sensation heightened to its maximum level.
Both of their heads tilted to the opposite direction and they were just there, cherishing the moment of their lives where they're just both vulnerable and out of the push and pull game that they played to entertain each other.
No words were needed to be spoken for each of their movements gave them the slightest grace.
I like you. That was what he meant when he sucked on Felix's bottom lips, and I think I like you too was what Felix's answer was when he exhaled a breath with a mixture of a light moan.
It was feverish. Hot. Burning to touch. Like an ember, like a flame; their bodies were just inclined to be together, to be pressed together just like that, sucking skin enough to cause the blood to pool.
Felix ran his hand to the tips of his hair and pulled it lightly that caused him to back away before Felix took the chance to bite his lip hard enough to cause blood to draw out.
And while they were having the time of their life, Hyunjin was smiling.
For the longest.
At their first.
Iron was what he tasted, but he paid no care before he dragged his lips down to Felix's jaw, pressing open-mouthed kisses to leave warmth and moisture. Sucking lightly, he made sure to give attention to the line of it and down to his neck. His hand didn't bother playing with the shirt that wanted to get off their bodies, he wanted them to cherish the moment and live in it.
A kiss for a kiss. A tongue for a tongue. A mark for a mark.
He sucked in a delicate part of Felix's neck and Felix pulled him harder.
"Don't—" A plea was whispered to him.
But he was too busy in making Felix his to even look at the man pulling him.
"But I did tell you that you're mine, so what's wrong with me marking you?"
His tone was low, dark, almost like a growl, a snarl.
And Felix audibly gulped.
"Then, can I mark you too?"
Mine.
His mind screamed hard in his head.
Mine. Only mine.
He pulled away and finally looked at Felix whose eyes darkened so much.
Yours.
He knew it.
Yours. Only yours.
That with that look on Felix's face, he was just calling for his end.
"As much as you want, princess."