I wake up with a gasp to hear someone banging against my door.
I groan and lay back down, pulling the blanket over my head.
5 minutes pass of me trying desperately to ignore the loud banging but i fail miserably.
I sigh and look at the watch beside my bed.
3 fucking a.m!!! Who the hell desides to go slam my door in at this time?!
I make an inhuman noise before pulling the covers away and getting up from bed.
I look down at myself only to see that i was sleeping in underwear. I grab an oversized shirt which my last one nightstand forgot here and pull it on while yawning.
The banging hasnt stopped yet so i slowly make my way to the door.
"Who dares to wake me up at this hour?", i growl while opening the door and looking at the figure before me. My eyes hadnt yet adjusted themselves to the darkness so i couldnt make out who this person was. But when they did i saw a smirking Max standing before me.
"Mornin' sunshine.", he chirpes playfully and i glare at him. Is he completely crazy now?
"I hope you have a damn good reason to wake me up at 3 a.m, Max or i swear to god im gonna rip your tongue out.", i hiss and he chuckles lightly.
"Just put some pants on and follow me.", he says and leans agains the doorframe.
"So i cant go back to sleep?", i pout.
"Nope.", he says popping the 'p'.
I sigh and start looking for my training shorts. When i finally found them and had put them on i put my messy hair into a bun and start following Max down the corridor. Barefeet might i add.
"Sooo, where are we going?", i ask to fill the silence that has gotten between us.
"You'll see soon enough.", he says with a smile playing on his lips.
I just roll my eyes.
After some turning and stairs we finally arrive at our destination. Outside.
I look around confused. There is nothing here except the grass under my feet and the trees towering above us.
Max starts walking again but soon stops and lowers himself onto the grass.
I frown. What is happening?
A cold breeze brushes through me and i shiver, wrapping my arms around my body.
He looks up at me and pats at the spot next to him, signaling me to sit.
I obey, eventhough everything screams in me not to.
There is a long silence before Max speaks up.
"Im actually surprised that you followed me, you know, considering that you are sort of mad at me."
I blink in surprise.
"Sort of?", i ask, "i AM mad at you."
He just nods at looks down at his hands.
There is another long silence but this time im the one who breaks it.
"Okay Max, seriously, if you just woken me up so we can sit here in silence i will leave."
He turns to me and and smiles weakly, then looks infront of him and points at something.
"I wanted to show you this.", he simply says and my eyes widen at the view before me.
Probably a thousand fireflys floating around in the air.
"Wow.", i mutter fascinated and start to slowly approach the crowd of insects.
I dont know how long ive been standing like this when i feel Max approaching from behind.
"Look, im sorry. Im really, really sorry about what happend back in Dauntless.", he says not daring to look at me, but keeping his gaze fixed on the fireflys.
"Are you? Because i didnt see a bit of remorse in your eyes when you pointed that knife at me.", i murmur.
He cringes slightly at my words.
"I know what we did was wrong okay? But what did you expect us to believe? Being raised with the same sentence said to you over and over again, did you expect us to back down only because you're our friend?", he asks.
I close my eyes for a second.
"You know what? No, Max. I didnt. But i expected you to be smart, to think, before you pointed these weapons at me.",i sigh,"i expected you to remember that i am your friend and that nothing, not even this stupid divergence, would change that. But you let yourselves be manipulated by my mothers fantasies over and over and over again. Dont you see? I could have actually died."
We were standing now facing eachother, both with watery eyes.
"You were like my brother, Max. That's why it hurt even more when you threatened to kill me.", i manage to whisper. Hurt fills his eyes.
"Grace, you know i love you like a sister. I know what me and Eric did was wrong, horrible in fact, but please, please dont turn away from us. Please. You have no idea how much i hate myself for what i did. How much Eric despises himself for hurting his only friend.", he says and his voice cracks, "Please, Grace. Dont do this to us."
My heart races. I want to forgive him so much but i feel so unsure. So scared. What if they do it again?
Are they really worth taking the risk of getting hurt again?
There is a long silence in which we just look at each other.
'I guess it is', i tell myself and pull Max into a bearhug.
When we break apart he chuckles lightly.
"You still hug like a man."
"Hey!", i shout and start punching him.
"Im sorry, im sorry, im sorry! A beautiful man, a beautiful man!", he shouts putting his hands up in surrender.
I laugh and we start going back.
There is a long silence again but this time its actually comfortable.
"What about Eric? Are you going to forgive him too?", Max asks while we make our way to my room.
Am i? I mean, i know him since we were fresh erudite born. I always helped him out eventhough he tried to push everyone away.
*Flashback*
Erudite compound 3 years ago
I was sitting in my room reading 'The fault in our stars' a book that had survived the war, when our phone rang.
"Grace? Could you please get that i have to head out to the labs again.", my mother, Jeanine, calls out.
"Yes, mother!", i answer while closing my book and making my way downstairs to get the call.
Who was calling at this hour? It was almost midnight. And why was my mother heading out to the labs this late?
I pick up the phone with just a huffed 'Hello?' considering i just ran all the way downstairs.
"Hey,Cookie. Its Eric.", a deep voice says.
I smile. "Eric! Why the hell are you calling so late? Did something happen?"
"Is your mom at home?", he asks completely ignoring my questions.
I huff. "No, she headed out to the labs again she wont return until morning. Why? What happened, Eric?"
I hear him sigh before he speaks.
"Its just- you know i- i just havent had a goodnight sleep in ages and i wondered if i could crash at yours tonight?", he asks and suddenly his voice sounds exhausted.
"Those nightmares again?", i ask concerned.
"What else would it be?", he asks back.
I look to my right into my sisters room. She was sleeping soundly tucked into her fluffy covers.
"Okay, ill be waiting.", i just say and hang up.
I close the door to my sisters room so she wouldnt be woken up and make my way back to my room.
It wasnt the first time Eric had slept in my room, my bed. Since his nightmares started he would come here every once in a while because surprisingly he could sleep here peacfully, even if it was just for once. He claimed that i had this calming aura which i just laughed at.
'Yeah yeah i know you're just here because my bed is more comfortable than your ugly futon.', i would always say, but never mean it.
After 15 minutes there was a loud knock on the door downstairs and i facepalmed myself. I forgot that i had locked the door.
So i rushed downstairs and unlocked it quickly letting a tired looking Eric inside.
He had bags under his eyes, and his normally fluffy hair looked damp and dead.
This figure was a grotesque version of my best friend and i couldnt help but pull him into a tight hug. Eventhough i was much smaller than him and i had to actually stand on my tiptoes, it wasnt uncomfortable at all. He hugged me back and buried his face in between my neck and my shoulder.
I did the same.
"My god, what have these bastards done to you?", i ask more myself than him.
We never spoke of it much but from what i knew, his parents were killed by intruders, factionless, infront of little Erics eyes.
I rubbed his back in a calming manor and then, when we broke apart i took his hand and pulled him upstairs into my room.
"Jacket and boots off and into bed with you.", i ordered and he obeyed like a child. I turned the lights off and pulled the covers up to his chin. Then i jumped into bed myself pulling his head onto my lap.
He turned onto his side so that his arm was over my legs. I stroked his hair softly, humming a familiar tune.
"Little Cookie?", he murmurs.
"Hmm?"
"I dont deserve you. But im glad that you didnt run for the hills.", he murmurs before softly falling asleep.
I just keep stroking his hair before closing my eyes and falling asleep aswell.
----------------
I open my eyes searching for the source of the wimpering. I look at my watch. 4:30a.m
'My god, its so early', i whine in my mind.
My attention is suddenly captured by Eric who started trashing around and wimpering again. Sweat is trickling down his forehead and he has a pained expression on his face. I softly touch his cheek in attempt to calm him, thats when he suddenly opens his eyes and jolts up with a loud gasp.
"Get away from me! Please just dont hurt me!", he wimpers still not aware of his surroundings.
I put my hand on both sides of his face and make him look at me.
When his eyes find mine his panicked expression softens and is replaced by a hurt one. "Grace?", he mumbles his voice full of pain.
"Its okay, im here, its okay. They wont hurt you.", i whisper while softly stroking his cheek with my thumb.
He lowers his gaze and sighs. I bring my head to his so that our forheads are touching, making him look at me again. I can feel his sweat on my forehead but in that moment i dont mind.
"You're safe here.", i whisper again.
"Please dont leave me, ever.", he sobs, but no tears are coming.
"I wont, Grumpy bear, i wont. I promise.", i whisper with a smile.
"Whatever happens?", he asks, smiling slightly at the nickname i gave him.
"Whatever happens.", i confirm and he lays back down closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep at once.
*Flashback end*
"I think i will. But dont you dare tell him anything.", i threaten. He laughs.
"Chill, i wont. Im gonna make that up to you.", he says and gives me a hug before disappearing into another corridor.
I shake my head smiling like an idiot, but i dont mind. Max apologized and he meant it. It felt good to not hate him for once.
I open the door to my room and kick it shut.
But Eric? Eric will be a whole another story.
I sigh and drag myself to my bed, while pulling off my shorts and the shirt leaving me in my underwear again.
I lay down and snuggle into the covers.
After trying to find a comfortable postion and finding none i lay on my back and stare at the ceiling. My thoughts are flying through my head.
Am i really ready to forgive?
'He's your best friend, despite to what he's done, he needs you.', my brain scolds.
I smile. 'Yeah, what the hell would Grumpy bear do without me.', i laugh to myself and soon after im drifting of to sleep again.
A/N:
Here's a 1k reads special!
Thanks guys for reading my fanfiction it really means a lot. Im really working hard on it and also ignoring school duties because of it so i hope you like it.
Feedback is as always greatly appreciated also if you have any ideas that you want me to put into words, dont hesitate to comment or write me in private.
Thanks again guys!