General POV;
Roger was flaming.
He was ready to literally explode.
He was sitting at the booth alone. No really. He was alone. All the others were up dancing, or drinking or shagging, see Erin and John. But Roger wasn't. He could have been if he wanted to, that's for sure. But he had dedicated his time to something else. He had picked a very privileged seat at the booth that allowed him to have a clear of view of what was going on in the dance floor. And he didn't like what was going on in the dance floor. He hated it in fact. No, no, don't get him wrong. He didn't hate that people were having fun. He hated that a certain 'couple' was dancing there, close with each other as they laughed and drank from the glasses they had been holding. Or to be more specific, that one certain girl was dancing with another guy in this dance floor.
He sipped from his vodka as he was practically flaming holes in David Bowie's face. That prick was not even a part of their friendgroup, Roger thought. He had no business with Amelie. Amelie was supposed to be dancing with him. To be having fun with him. To be with him. But then again. What did I expect? He thought. I chickened out. Next time have the balls to ask her out. Till then suck that, idiot.
He had to do something. He had to do something to get him off of her. He had to show her that he was supposed to be in Bowie's place. That he was supposed to be her partner. He would. He would go right now and tell her. Tell her all those things he didn't have the courage to. All those things he felt. And he didn't care. He didn't care if she would reject him - well he did of course but he wanted her to know- and whatever is destined to happen, it will. He just couldn't sit there being jealous and angry when he had practically caused that to himself. Plus. He wanted her like a crazy man, he did. He wanted to be with her. For the first time, Roger Taylor wanted to be with someone that bad.
You can blame it to the fact that he was a bit tipsy, or to the fact that Roger is impulsive in general. He doesn't think when he does things. He just does them. And then either he regret them, either he is glad he did them or earns a lecture from Brian. But he had stood up. Or maybe the fact that 'Wild Thing' by the Troggs was playing was to blame, because he loved that song. So yes, it did give him a kind of boost. So here he was ready to go. But at that specific moment his song stopped. He complemented a bit in his head and took it as a 'sign'. Of course he did. A bloody reason to chicken out he was looking for.
He sighed and poured some more vodka into his glass. He watched around for a bit as Henry and Brian were literally dancing their asses off in the dance floor. They were both holding glasses filled with some kind of alcohol and Roger smirked slightly at the thought of Brian's reaction when he would realize that he had been dancing like that while drunk, and in front of so many people.
He leaned his head on his elbow as he watched the lot of them. A slight grin was upon his lips as he thought how Amelie would have teased him about it. A five year old he would call him with that adorable grin. And he would laugh and tell her something that would have her laughing too as they would grip upon each other so they wouldn't lose their balance. He wanted that. He desired that like a madman. And wasn't the cheekiest grin plastered upon his face at that.
"Oi! What a cheeky grin for a cheeky, handsome, young man!" A girl's giggling voice was heard behind him. He quickly shot his head up and was met with the most beautiful sight for him. Her hair was a bit messy from the dancing and her cheeks blushed as she happily smiled down at him. Roger's grin turned into a wide smile as he watched her. His blue eyes locking with her gray ones in perfect harmony. Oh gods. Roger loved those eyes. So warm and inviting they were.
"Handsome, young man you say? Finally you admit it." Roger told her beaming his chest proudly as she rolled her eyes pretending to be annoyed making Roger laugh because she chuckled herself. A bunch of toddlers. The both of them.
"Cheeky I called you first. Don't see you putting that into your list." She grinned at him as he flung his hand over his forehead in fake hurt.
"You adore my cheekiness, my love. You know that." He grinned then poking at her with glimmer on his eyes.
"Oh shush..." She chuckled. She then moved closer to Roger and with a sudden move she made Roger's temperature rise as if he was under the Bahamas sun. She put her hands on his collarbones, sliding them on his shoulders as she lowered herself and shrugged one leg on each side of his hips. And gods... Roger suddenly felt shivers running up and down his spine in astronomical speeds. He tilted his head a bit back, exhaling sharply, his breathe softly scraping Amy's neck sending shivers on her whole body, too. Roger felt like he couldn't take it anymore, he wanted to crush his lips against hers, to explore every inch of her mouth, to feel her breathe becoming his breathe too, her hands roaming on his neck and into his hair... Gods... To show her what he felt, damn it. And didn't Amy want the exact same thing...
Roger, then, finally took the matter on his own two hands. He gently placed his hand on her waist, his fingers sliding across the silk of her dress. Well, he could have put them on her thighs, he thought, but then, he didn't want her to misunderstand his intentions and think that this was the only thing in his mind. I mean, surely right now, with her body so close to his it conquered an enormously large part of his thoughts but still. Maybe he would put them later... Who knows...
"Hello, Roggie." She smiled at him as she looked straight into his eyes. She slid her delicate, gentle fingers on his neck, twirling his blonde locks at them. Roger looked into her eyes as he pulled her a bit closer, still trying to compose himself. But at the moment, as he looked into her eyes something occurred to him. Suddenly there were no pull-backs. Yes, she was seven years younger, but what that means? She is mature and would definitely be able to kick his ass if she didn't want him, and he doesn't have any bad intentions. Gods, Roger would be the very last person to have bad intentions in this spinning world. Then, she was Brian's sister. But Brian would understand. He is the kindest soul in this earth.
"Hello, Amelie." He smiled at her too. And wasn't that the most loving gaze anyone could have ever seen. The way he looked at her... So full of adoration... As though at that moment he knew. He knew that he could move mountains for her. That he could walk continents barefoot if she wanted him to. God knows what he would do for her... He never thought that he would say something like that for a girl. But here he was. Being the biggest, softest git in the entire planet.
"Previously... I wanted to say that you... That you look divine." Roger said biting lightly at his lower lip before his features broke out in a wide smile. Amelie smiled at him as she moved her fingers softly and gently through his blonde, soft hair. She brushed some strands away from his face and she stopped for a bit, looking into his eyes. At the moment she was both the happiest and the saddest person. It saddened her the fact that this, this whole thing, being so close to him, feeling his breathe, showing him affection as well as receiving from him too - because yes, she was pretty sure that this was affection - would never be a real case scenario. It was just that now the both of them were probably in a bit of an adrenaline rush because of the party and the drinking they had done, though they were in no case drunk. Just a bit more relaxed, and courageous we could say.
She stopped there, staring into his eyes. Taking in as much of him as possible. She wanted to remember every little detail of his face. Memorizing even the smallest wrinkle. Gods... What is it with her and every time she desires something that much she can't have it? She wanted to just kiss him. Right there and then. Tell him that she, Amelie Athena Aphrodite May is his biggest fan. That she is the person that is probably fond of him the most out of everyone. And yes she admits it. At least she can admit that to herself right?
"Well... One of us had to be looking good..." Amelie replied with a sly grin as Roger groaned-laughed tilting his head at her shoulder, resting it there, making Amelie laugh at that. Now his hands were wrapped a bit more tightly at her waist, and gods... Didn't she enjoy it with every inch of her body?
"I know. I was just being polite." He replied as he raised his head from her shoulder and grinned at the sight of her jaw-dropping and her eyes the look of pure shock and surprise. She then narrowed her eyes at him as he blew her a kiss.
"Don't want your kisses. Keep them for your groupies, Sex on Legs." She said and couldn't fight back the grin that was creeping on her features.
"What if I want to give them to you?" He asked her and suddenly she didn't see an inch of joking in his eyes. Gods... She wanted to kiss him. Sly bastard he is actually. He was staring expectedly at her, eager for her answer. Well he partly knew that she would come up with a witty comeback, but something told him, as he looked in her eyes that she wouldn't. And he wanted her, for the first time, not to respond with a witty comment. He loved those. He loved the way she would spill them out. But now he wanted her honest response. Well, more accurately he wanted her honest positive response. He wanted for her to lean closer and he would get the hint.
And she would have. She can't even explain why but at this moment she would have responded positively. So she leaned a bit forward, bringing her hands on the sides of Roger's face, and Roger pulled her closer by the waist as he slid one hand around a bit, coming to meet her bare thigh, his fingers lingering there as he ran them across her soft skin. The both of them could feel the other's breathe, crushing on their lips that were now centimeters away. The places where the other's hands met skin being like they had been burned and suddenly healed. Roger looked at her lips and then looked up to meet her eyes. Amy tilted her head a bit at the side and leaned in, almost tasting his lips, finally being able to meet that distinct smell of mint and smoke and alcohol when...
"OHOHO! WHAT ARE THE LOVEBIRDS DOING HERE!?" A very well-known voice interrupted them. Amy closed her eyes inhaling sharply as she pressed her lips together. Roger exhaled as his jaw clenched and unclenched.
"Now, certainly nothing." Amy replied as she slipped away from Roger, who whimpered inaudibly at the loss of contact, and sat next to him, their knees touching. Now, the rude intruders had come around and sat at the booth too. Of course, it was their friends. Freddie, John, Brian, Henry, Erin, and Mary were all there giggling drunkenly, stumbling upon each other. Roger couldn't help but notice that David Bowie wasn't with them and a great smirk twisted on his lips.
"I LOVE THAT PARTY!" Freddie exclaimed throwing his hands in the air making the rest of the group laugh at that. Then he sat back down next to Mary and attacked her with kisses. Brian laid his head on Henry's shoulder, who was now not wearing the blazer of his suit. Amy smirked at that because God knows where he had tossed it while he had been drunkenly dancing with Brian. The group started talking vividly about something that had happened at the dance floor that involved a good deal of shagging and whistling, and Roger thought that this might have happened while he and Amelie were occupied because if it hadn't he had surely caught that. With the intense staring at the dance floor he had done and all.
Soon enough Roger's triumph smirk fell to the ground as a certain ginger head approached their booth with his flamboyant nature. Gods... Didn't Roger want to break something or scream or anything that could help him at the moment, for the matter? He rolled his eyes as he aggressively tossed his glass at the floor, shattering it. The lot of the others turned and looked at him as he avoided his gazes.
"HELLO THERE!" David greeted with a wide, charming grin. He put one hand at the back of the leather booth-couch and hopped over it, earning himself a seat opposite Roger and Amelie, next to Henry and Brian.
"HELLO!" The others greeted excitedly as he joined the group. Amy chucked down some whiskey that was on her glass, and her smile widened.
"Hello, sweetheart. Sorry, I left like that. The manager you understand..." He smiled at Amelie and Roger cringed as he rolled his eyes at his 'politeness'.
"Of course. It's fine." She grinned at him as she waved her hand. Bowie smirked at her, much to Roger's dismay who dropped the now new glass he was holding under the table, shattering it in pieces too. "OUCH!"
"OH MY GOD!" Roger exclaimed as he understood what had caused Amy's yelp of pain. Gods he can be an idiot at times! "Oh my god, Amelie, I am so sorry! I-I dropped it. Sorry! Let me see that." Roger quickly apologized as he saw Amy exhaling in pain trying to keep her cool, which she did.
"No. No. It's okay." She replied trying to smile through the pain.
"Oh god, no. It's not okay. I-It can cause an infection and if we don't get it in time it could cause sepsis which would result to limb necrosis or even death! You can lose your leg! Or your life for that matter! Gods I am terribly sorry!" Roger continued, speaking fast as he tried to gently move Amelie's leg up so he could take a look, obviously at a moment of hysteria. "Oh, Amelie I am so sorr-"
"Hey," Amelie caught his hands in hers giving him a smile as she watched into his eyes. "It's fine. Look." She subtly moved her left leg in Roger's lap so he could take a look. It was honestly small. A scratch from a broken piece of glass really. Though it did bleed it wasn't that serious. "See? 'Tis but a scratch."
"Tis but a scratch..." Roger breathed with a chuckle at her remark. He grabbed a napkin from the table and gently brushed it upon the wound making Amy wince a bit. Meanwhile, the others were arguing on what game they would play. Thank god, Amy thought, they hadn't seen them because Freddie would probably say something really dirty. "Sorry..."
"It's fine, Doctor Taylor. 'Tis but a scratch I said." She smiled at him with a wink. Roger grinned and went back on his work. He pressed the napkin at the wound and held it there with his right hand as the other rested some centimeters lower. Amy watched him as he did so. When he is concentrating he furrowed his eyebrows, just a little, and a small, cute wrinkle was appearing between them. She liked that wrinkle. It was adorable. She grinned as she continued watching him.
As she sat there, watching him, she thought that it was better their kiss was interrupted. She hated it. She hated the fact that it was better that they had gotten interrupted. It's just that at this moment she couldn't back out of it. She wanted him. She wanted him so, so bad. But if the others hadn't interrupted them they would have kissed and then probably something else would occur. And then she knew it would be impossible to stop herself from falling. And if that happened it would be unfair to Roger. She didn't want that for him. In any way.
"All done. Sorry again... It just slipped away from my hands and-"
"TRUTH OR DARE OR SHOT IT IS!" Freddie announced loudly banging his hands on the table. With that all, Roger and Amy hadn't paid any attention to the chaos that was occurring before them. All the others had been bitching about what fucking fantastic game they would play, and now as they could figure out, they would play something Truth or Dare or Shot. Which, yes, was Freddie's invention based on truth or dare.
"Oh yes! I like that!" Bowie grinned at that as Freddie high-fived with him. Henry seemed excited about it as he roughly pushed Brian who had fallen asleep on his shoulder. Poor Brian had done so much drinking that in the morning he would probably regret it.
"Of course you do." Roger rolled his eyes. He just couldn't stand him. First of all, he hadn't even met Amelie and was drooling over her and clearly hitting on her. Second of all,- That's it. There's no second. Amelie shot him a glance as to 'What was that for?'
"Sorry?" David asked as he leaned over the table to be able to hear what he was saying. Amelie thanked every god that the music was loud because Roger suddenly was clearly in the mood for some bitching.
"ARE WE STARTING OR WHAT?" Amelie yelped from her seat cutting of Roger who had opened his mouth to respond something that would probably make Amelie mad at him for being rude.
"Of course, my dear! I knew I could count on you for that one!" Freddie grinned at her.
"Great! I am bringing the shots!" Amelie said excitedly as she tried to stand up only to be stopped by something, more like someone. She looked at Roger who had stopped her. Well yes he was behaving a bit odd but she didn't give it any attention because it was Roger, after all, he was always a bit odd.
"Is your leg alright? I can go." Roger offered and Amelie's heart melted at that. He was so cute. And she was a bit stupid, she thought to herself because she had thought that Roger was about to say something about David Bowie or whatever. Clearly, Roger wasn't very fond of the ginger singer before him.
"My leg is alright but you can go. Gotta use you someway, Meddows." She grinned at him as he grinned too, getting back on their teasing mode.
"Heartless creature..." He called her teasingly, not meaning it in the least. Amy grinned and as she was ready to respond she was cut off.
"GET A ROOM!" Erin and John yelled together and burst into a fit of giggling. Those two were such a nice matching for real. Erin had her legs dropped over John's lap and he had an arm around her shoulders the other going up and down her leg, affectionately. Cute devilish things.
"Well, what are you waiting for, Roggie? Pip, pip." Amy laughed as Roger rolled his eyes with a grin and went towards the bar to get the shots. Amy was still grinning at herself when she was met with David's eyes.
"Are you two together?" David asked with a slight smirk.
"No."
"YES!"
Amelie and Freddie replied together. Amelie stared questionably at Freddie who had eagerly responded that she and his blonde best-friend are, in fact, together.
"What? No. No we are not together." Amelie cleared up. David smiled at that as Freddie, suddenly all sobered up, scrunched up his face.
"TRUE. True. BUT! The sexual tension between them is obvious. They are just two oblivious, denying little shites is all. Wouldn't want a thing to get between them, I wouldn't." Henry butted in, eager to support Freddie who was nodding while grinning up to him, sending a knowing wink.
"Um... Fine, I guess. What do you think Amelia? Is it fine?" David asked turning his attention to Amy. He wouldn't lie. He liked her. A good deal he did. She was a beautiful girl. And a cunning one. She would be a good 'companion'.
"I-Do-Fuck. No. There is no sexual tension between Roger and I and there is nothing for that matter, alright? He has his interests I have mine and we are friends. That's it. That's all. We are two good mates. Are you fine with that Henry and Freddie?" Amy replied her cheeks flushing. She very damn well knew about the sexual tension between her and Roger. Hell she even created it herself sometimes. But she couldn't admit it. Not out loud. She was barely able to admit it herself. "And you can look after yourselves at times, it doesn't do any harm. We are fine as we are. Roger and I are. Anything else would be a disaster."
Amy continued. Hell! She didn't even know why she said that but she didn't appreciate the other's attitude at all. What was going on it was a matter between her and Roger and only. She had started getting really pissed but managed to keep herself together. After all they were drunk. They weren't very well aware of what they were saying. But the problem was that Amy wasn't drunk. So she knew what she was saying, or at least it seemed that way. And Roger did, in fact, know that.
As he stood behind her with the shots on his hands he had heard the last sentences of Amy 'We are fine as we are. Roger and I are. Anything else would be a disaster.' Those words rang inside of his hands and made his grin drop. Why would she say something like that? Moments before they were about to kiss. He was about to confess his feelings. Hell! She was about to kiss him! And now she said that anything else between them would be a disaster. Why damn it?! Roger thought.
It could be because that doucebag was there. Or because Amy didn't want the others to know before they figure it out themselves - dear lord please be that! - Or... Or it could be because indeed she believed that. And before, when they were alone, she was just going with his ways. Just because she could do that. Just because he had let her see that she can do that. Shit... No. No... Roger's heart broke at that. She couldn't do it... She wasn't that kind of person... She wouldn't do that to him... She would never.
He moved dumbfounded towards the table, clearing his mind from all the shattering thoughts. Now was not the time. Wouldn't want going about ruining the mood. Freddie had been planning this party so excitedly and had been so happy about it. So he did erase the frown from his features but didn't grin or said something goofy. He just couldn't bring himself to it.
"UGH! WELL DONE, BLONDIE! THANK YOU!" Freddie yelped happily as he did a small bow from where he was sitting making the others laugh. Roger half smiled at that and sat down at his seat next to Amy. Amy had grinned at Freddie's bow but now that she was seeing Roger's face the grin dropped from hers.
"Is everything alright?" She asked him as all the others were turned towards Freddie who was explaining the rules with dramatic movements. Roger turned and looked at her, he would swear he saw concern in her eyes. He hesitated for a bit. Should he tell her? Should he tell her what there has been in his mind?
"Yes. Everything's cool." He said and turned his eyes away from hers in fear that if he continued looking into them he would get hurt. Amy furrowed her eyebrows at that because, to be honest, he said it in a very cold way. The kind of way Amelie wasn't used to receive by Roger. And that hurt a bit.
"Are you sure? You seem rather odd. Do you need to get some air?" Amy asked, now really concerned about him. He never talked like that without a reason. Roger's cheeks flushed as he tried to pretend that everything was alright. Because he really didn't feel alright. He felt nowhere near alright. The sentence 'Anything else would be a disaster' was ringing inside his head. Why damn it.
"Yes. And no. I don't need air." Roger said with the same cold way that ripped Amy's insides. Why did he talk to her like that?
"Roger, are you sure? Do you feel cold? M-Maybe you have feve-" Amy desperately tried to find a reason why he was behaving like this, as she softly extended her hand towards Roger's forehead to feel his temperature.
"GEEZ! I SAID I AM FINE! Leave me be will you?" Roger snapped making Amy's jaw drop. She was so not used to him doing that and right now it kind of saddened and pissed her off because she couldn't think why he was being like that and after all they were perfectly fine when he left. And she had done nothing to deserve that. If he wanted to be a prick she could too, she thought to herself. Amy's cheeks flushed as she turned away from his now apologetic gaze, obviously he had realized that he had overreacted. "Amelie I didn't mean- I am sorry, I didn't mean to snap-"
"It's fine, Roger. Whatever." Amy said turning her face away from his gaze, because now her cheeks were red and she was barely holding in tears.
"YOU GET IT?" Freddie cut off Roger who was about to say something. He had just gotten done with explaining the rules to the others and Amy felt a bit guilty because she hadn't heard a thing though she was sure that it was just truth or dare only that when you didn't do something or answer a question you take a shot. They used to play that back in the day in high school though they called it the Truth of the Devil.
"YES!" David, Erin and John replied excitedly about the drinking game making Freddie's grin wider.
"Yes! Let's shag!" Henry yelped with an astronomical grin making everyone look at him with raised eyebrows. He thought about it and then realized. "I-I meant let's play! Gods!"
"Oh don't worry about it love. Let's play and shag ey?" David Bowie smirked, at the last sentence his eyes darting to Amy meaningfully. Roger tensed up at that and was literally ready to attack him and he would have if Freddie hadn't clapped his hands loudly making everyone turn and look at him.
"People! People!" He said as though he was about to make an important announcement. He cleared his throat and then followed a moment of silence before he spoke again. "Shag as much as you want."
The others crack up laughing except from the pair Amy-Roger who barely chuckled, though they hid it perfectly both not wanting to displease their friend.
"ALRIGHT SINCE WE ALL GET IT LET'S START!" Freddie announced as he finally sat to his seat next to Mary. "We ask a different person every time and no one is allowed to get asked twice in the same round. I am starting with a very interesting question..."
"Oh here goes our privacy!" Erin giggled as John grinned, agreeing with her.
"That's right Erin sweetheart because the question goes to you." Freddie grinned at her. "Erin. Truth or Dare?"
"Truth. I am a holly child." Erin said and John chuckled knowingly at that.
"Yea... I beg to differ." John commented making everyone burst out laughing and applauding. Erin rolled her eyes with a grin and smacked his chest as he caught her hands in her to stop her attack and gave her a kiss.
"YES! YES! Enough with the sugars. Now, Erin." Freddie said and everyone knew that he was about to say something dirty. "What is the weirdest place you've shagged with Deaky?"
"FOR GOD'S SAKE FRED!" Erin laughed as John hid his face behind her shoulder adorably. "You honestly want to know that?"
"I mean I want to embarrass the little cute pair of you so I do. Now answer. Where have Freaky Deaky taken you?" Freddie grinned and the others nearly screamed laughing at the name.
"Alright. Ugh gods... Um... No. No I can't say it. Pass me a shot." Erin said her cheeks blushing. Amy pushed a shot across the table and Erin chucked it down quickly.
"Ugh I hopped I would get to know. Anyways, Erin your turn. You ask someone." Freddie said. Erin thought about it for a bit and turned her attention to David Bowie.
"Mr. Bowi-"
"Please, love call me David." Bowie interrupted her. Of course Erin would address him as Mr. Bowie. Little polite thing.
"Alright. So David... Truth or Dare?" Erin asked.
"I... I'd go with Truth." David said lighting up a cigarette. Erin nodded and thought about it. In these games you can NEVER think of good questions! Never!
"Splendid. So. What is something you wish you never did?" Erin asked. Bowie scrunched up his eyebrows thinking. Roger looked at Amy who had yet to look at him, feeling so guilty. He wanted to make her laugh but nothing...
"Splendid. Only Erin could use that word instead of 'alright' right?" Roger leaned closer to Amy hoping that this would make her laugh or at least talk to him.
" 'suppose." Amy shrugged. Amy didn't want to sound that pissed but if she unfocused she would probably have snapped way worse and then cry and gods she would make a clown out of herself.
"C'mon, Amelie. I am sorry I talked like that. But you don't actually have to respond like that. I mean- I me-" Roger started saying not being able to handle the fact that Amy wasn't talking to him. He hated it that she wasn't talking to him.
"Watch it, Roger." Amy said trying to keep her cool as Bowie replied 'I don't know probably nothing' and Freddie had rolled his eyes waiting for something spicy. Though the pair of them weren't paying any attention to them by now.
"No, Amelie. Look I am sorry. I know I behaved like a doucebag after all you were only caring and-" Roger continued, his apology sounding sincere and honest.
"Don't, Roger." Amy cut off him because now it was getting more difficult not to snap at him.
"No, no. Look. I am sorry. It just that something occurred to me and I got pissed. I heard something and I guess it impacted me. You were only being nice and I-" Roger continued by Amelie found herself unable to remain contained.
"Oh really?! REALLY? You just figured that out? You just figured out that I was only trying to see if you are alright? That I was only trying to understand what had occurred and you were behaving like a literal git? That I- That was only caring damn it?! Well what about that, Taylor. What about actually using your damned brain before you fucking speak ey? Since you have it in there better use it!" Amelie snapped at him kind of louder than she intended. Roger was staring at her shocked because right now he felt like the biggest asshole in the whole universe.
Amelie had already stood up, with her jaw clenching and unclenching as she tried to stop the tears that were coming. The others were staring at them, each one with a different expression. And Amy felt exposed. Even though those were the people she trusted more in the whole world. I mean those and Brandon with Jacob who had left some time ago, not able to contain themselves very well.
"Amelie p-" Roger tried to say as he softly touched her wrist.
"Fuck off." She said and quickly left the booth. She let just in time as the first hot tear left her eyes. She rarely ever cried. Since she was little. The only times that she actually cried were when she was truly pissed or truly hurt. And right now she was both.
"Gods I am an idiot!" Roger called at as he smacked his head with his hands.
"Should I go see if she's alright?" Bowie asked getting up from the table. If Roger wasn't thinking of Amelie and what he should do he would have punched him right there and then. Why should he of all people go let's say.
"YOU STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE." Roger snapped because he was truly trying to think now. David looked about offended and sat back down at his seat. Roger thought to himself that he was the biggest asshole in the world. First he had acted like that and made her mad and now he was standing there- Gods! What was he doing?!
He shook his head and quickly sprinted away from the booth leaving the others staring, some in triumph, some in question and some in annoyance.
He ran outside the club, the cold air that smelled like sea feeling up his lungs the moment he set foot out. His eyes desperately looked for Amy. She shouldn't have gotten very far. Plus, there was a knocked down pot some meters away and Roger remembered how she had said that she smash things when she is mad. So, yea she was probably near.
Roger tried to find her, desperate to apologize and to get things how they were. He was going crazy at the idea that she wouldn't want him in her life anymore. He was being a bit dramatic but he was truly afraid of it. Because yes. That girl had become a substantial part of his daily life. He had gotten used to her. And he had loved the little things they do together. He needed to have even the slightest of her in his life. Even one word. Even a good morning was enough. But he needed her there.
He continued and took a left turn towards the marine. And there she was. Strutting down at the long harbor. He sprinted and he found himself directly behind her. Her eyes were glimmering but not with their usual, natural shine. They were glimmering from the tears in them. And her cheeks were flushed. Roger, even though he thought she looked beautiful, hated the idea that he was to blame that she was crying. His mind flashed back at that day in the helipad. That she had cried because of his singing. And now he knew. He knew how her happy crying was and how her hurt crying was. He knew that know she wasn't crying because she was touched by his song or because she was happy. She was crying because she was hurt. She was crying because he couldn't put his ego aside and talk to her like a real person.
"Amelie wait!" Roger called out but she didn't stop. Of course she didn't.
"Leave." She said and her voice was cracked. Not the melodic sound it was usually. Now it was full of tears. Full of pain and hurt.
"No! Amelie please! Please can we talk?!" Roger called and she suddenly stopped making Roger almost lose his balance at the sudden stop. She turned and looked at him clenching his jaw. Roger couldn't stand the idea that he had hurt her. That he had made her cry. And at the moment he just wanted to hug her, close and tightly and to tell her that he is sorry. To tell her all the things he never could.
"What?! What do you want to ruddy talk about?! You want to talk about you sudden bitching? You want to talk about how fucking unfair you were? I didn't do shit Roger! I didn't do anything! And I have never done in fact! I never did!" She started saying only for more tears to yelp from her eyes as she looked at him, not even bothering to wipe them off. Roger tried to get her hands to his, to calm her down by touch but she roughly pushed his hands away. "DON'T TOUCH ME! You know something Roger? You don't get to fuck with people's lives alright?! You don't get to fuck someone's mood because you just want to! You get it? I was only fucking caring because I saw that you were off! Because I thought that something had triggered you! BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT YOU!"
"Am-" Roger tried to say and his heart broke at the sight of more tears falling from her eyes.
"No! Don't even bother. It's not worth it. Even though I thought it was, it is not." Amelie said looking straight into his eyes and her words crashed onto Roger's heart like a blade, that was shoved deep into his flesh.
"Amelie... I am sorry..." He managed to say.
"SORRY ABOUT WHAT?! Sorry for being an asshole? Sorry for suddenly being a bitch to you for no reason? SORRY FOR BEING UNFAIR?! NO! APOLOGY IS NOT ACCEPTED! It's not because you can't expect a 'sorry' to fix everything! You can't expect to fuck with people's emotions and then thinking that you will be fine with a 'sorry'. YOU'VE GOT TO THINK BEFORE YOU TALK! Because yes Roger, in fact you did fuck with my emotions. Because I consume hours and hours thinking before I do anything that involves you. Thinking; 'Will this affect you?' 'Wouldn't that actually be wrong to do to him?' WOULDN'T THAT BE FUCKING UNFAIR TO HIM! You know that the last one is the only fucking thing that concerns me?! I FUCKING SUPPRESS ANY EMOTION I HAVE SO IT WON'T BE UNFAIR TO YOU! SO YOU WON'T GET HURT! SO YOU WON'T BE NEGATIVELY IMPACTED!" Amelie continued and right about now she wasn't just talking about what had happened earlier. She was spilling out her emotions. Even without realizing it, she did.
And as she did she felt sadder than ever because it was the first time she said all those things out loud. And the worst part is that they were true. She hadn't intended to do that but she had been bottling up her emotions for such a long time that now she was just breaking.
"I... Amelie you... I am so sorry I never th-" Roger started apologizing as tears clouded his vision. He never thought he was making her feel like that. And the thought of it ripped his insides. Because the very last thing he would do was to hurt her. The very last.
"You never thought about it. Of course, you didn't. But I did. Thank god I am thinking for the both of us." She said sarcastically and in her eyes, he saw pure hurt. He saw all the negative emotions reflecting on the gray eyes he so loved and his heart was only breaking at that. "You hurt me Roger. Just so you know."
"Amelie. Amelie please. Please let me fix it." He said as he caught her wrist just in moment before she walked away from him.
"Fix it? FIX IT? You can't fix it! You don't know how I feel. You don't how I had been feeling the last MONTHS! YOU GIVE THOSE STUPID SIGNS AND DO ALL THOSE STUPID GESTURES AND I THINK THAT I AM THE WORST PERSON I THE WHOLE BLOODY UNIVERSE! I THINK THAT IF I LET MYSELF- IF... IF I GO ALONG WITH YOUR WAYS YOU WILL ONLY GET HURT! IT WILL ONLY BE UNFAIR TO YOU! SO I FIND COMFORT WHEN WE ARE TOGETHER AND WE JOKE AND WE LAUGH AND WE ACTUALLY CARE FOR EACH OTHER! AND THE ONLY THING I CAN DO ABOUT IT IS TO CARE ABOUT YOU! AT LEAST THAT WON'T HURT! AND TODAY-Today... I AM TRYING TO DO THAT AND YOU FUCKING CANCEL ME! Do you have any idea how much that hurt me?! DO YOU HAVE ANY MOTHERFUCKING IDEA?!" Amy broke down as she was speaking through her tears and Roger felt like he was the worst person in the world. He felt like he was the worst and not his Amelie. He wanted to do anything to show her that he thought she is the greatest person in the universe.
Amelie had now her hands in front of her eyes as she cried, finally all the emotions she had bottled up, coming out. She needed that cry. And now, that she had finally let herself she couldn't stop it. Those things were putting an unbearable weight on her that by now she had thought that she couldn't be listing anymore.
Roger hesitantly took a step closer to her. He softly put a hand on her face and brushed away some strands of her raven black hair, the same hand then sliding down at her shoulder. He carefully pulled her into his chest. He knew right now a hug wouldn't do much but pain is always a bit more tolerable when you are in someone's arms.
He didn't expect Amelie to let him hug her but she did. The moment he pulled her on his chest, wrapping his arms tightly around her she had let out a breathe she didn't even know she was holding.
"An- And I am fucking tired of it..." She said softly through her cries.
Roger clutched her closer as he planted a soft, tender kiss at her forehead and stroked her hair reassuringly, hoping that even those small gestures would show her that he really did care. And that he felt so terrible for having caused her this pain. He hoped that she knew he truly cared.
At least he could do that, he thought.