The December moon came quickly after my grandparent's death.
With the large drop in temperature, Remus's condition only worsened until the week of the moon when he was no more than a shell of his usual self.
He spent most mornings sleeping in, only coming out for food and then returning to our bed for the rest of the day.
This meant, of course, that I was doing much of the same.
I would get out of bed before him each morning to set up some sort of breakfast for him, usually with much oversight from James, and then I'd force him up for lunch and dinner.
I didn't mind, though. Laying in bed with Remus's head on my chest actually proved quite peaceful, and it gave me a lot of time to work through my grandmother's journal.
By the time the moon was full, I had made it through nearly a year of entries.
"Do you have an extra pair of sweatpants?" I asked that afternoon.
Remus and I were in our room, and I was laying backwards on our bed as he prepared for the evening. He sorted through the small bag he had packed and nodded.
"And a jumper, too? It's December, Rem."
"Yes, I have a jumper," Remus grinned, teasing my English vocabulary again. I rolled my eyes.
"I'm not joking!" I cried. "One of these days you're going to get hypothermia because you think you're too macho for a sweatshirt."
Remus chuckled and peered his head overtop of mine. He kissed me quickly upside down and then moved around to sit beside me. I slid upright to face him.
"I have everything," he promised.
"Okay," I said, narrowing my eyes at him doubtfully. Remus laughed.
"I'll see you in the morning," he said. "Get some sleep, okay?"
"No chance," I replied, kissing him quickly before he walked through the door to meet James, Sirius, and Peter.
I threw myself back onto the bed and picked up the blue book, running my fingers along the smooth surface before pulling it open to the marked page and slipping the small silk bookmark out of the way.
June 15, 1965
Lou finished installing the pool yesterday, and Syd and Theo have not come away from the water since. I told them that they are not to go in until we've finished with the chlorine, but it doesn't seem to matter.
They're both sitting criss cross on the pavement right now, just talking to each other and occasionally dipping in a finger.
Based on the books I've read, the transition into a merperson is slow, so I doubt that they would just instantly sprout a tail, but I'm still so afraid every time I put them in for a bath or take them out in the rain.
They love the water so much, it's like a trance. And it doesn't help that Syd has been asking to go to the beach ever since her birthday.
I still have no idea what to make of that... She knows that her parents have died, that Louis has died (that never gets easier to say/write). She knows it. But something about it being her birthday must have set her off.
I don't know. I don't know how to do this. It's like raising Louis all over again.
Even though Theo isn't biologically his, when he gets all riled up about football or starts tackling his sister to the floor he reminds me exactly of my little boy.
I don't know how to raise two kids if they're just going to return to some mermaid community and never speak to me again.
I love them too much.
June 19, 1965
Buy eggs, pool floaties, pineapple
June 20, 1965
Took Syd to the ER today. She is allergic to pineapple.
June 25, 1965
Well, there's no chance I'm keeping those kids out of the pool. They love it.
They spent all day out there. Lou and I strapped them into some floaties for their arms so that we don't have to stress too much about them drowning when we aren't in the water with them.
Now I just have to stress about them turning into merpeople.
They seem okay, though. I'm hoping they're okay.
"Syd?" Lily's voice called from downstairs. "Are you home?"
I slid the little strip of silk between the pages and dropped the book onto the bed beside me.
"Yeah," I called, opening my door and starting down the stairs. "What's up?"
Lily was in the kitchen, chewing on her fingernails and pacing the floor. I looked to the side to find Marlene, Dorcas, and Alice seated in stools along the island and watching the redhead walk all around.
"What's going on?" I asked, walking slowly to sit beside Alice.
"We have no idea," Alice answered. "She was like this when we got here."
"Lils?" I said slowly. "You alright?"
"No!" She burst. "No, I am not alright!"
She began muttering to herself and ripping her hands through her hair.
"Are you on drugs or something?" Marlene tried. "It's not that bad, Lily, everyone does it once."
"Am I- No, Marlene, I'm not on drugs!"
"Well you just look a little crazy..." Marlene mumbled quietly. Dorcas hit her on the shoulder.
"How can we help?" Dorcas asked. "What can we do?"
Lily stopped in place, turning to look across all of our faces as she continued tearing off her nails.
"I-" She took a breath. "Oh, Merlin... I'm pregnant."
Everything fell so silent as our mouths fell open in shock.
"YOU'RE BLOODY WHAT?"
"THIS IS FANTASTIC!"
"HAVE YOU TOLD JAMES?"
"ME TOO!"
It fell silent again, all of our heads panning to the small brunette in the chair beside me.
"EXCUSE ME?"
"DID YOU JUST SAY-"
"HAVE YOU TOLD FRANK?"
"ALICE, YOU DOG!"
We all started coughing out fits of laughter, our words toppling over each other as we tried to work through the fact that somehow Lily and Alice both ended up pregnant at the same time.
"I'm fucking last to everything," I exhaled jokingly.
"Well we aren't pregnant," Dorcas cut in, motioning between herself and Marlene.
"Actually," Marlene began seriously, placing her hand over her stomach. "I'm with child."
Dorcas fake gasped.
"Who's the father?!"
Marlene began to fake cry, throwing her hands dramatically over her face.
"It's... It's F- Filch!"
"Ewww."
"Gross!"
"That's not funny."
Marlene dropped the act and began to laugh with us.
"Come on," she said. "That was pretty good!"
"You and Filch would make cute babies," I nodded.
"Wouldn't we?!"
"Can we get back to the real babies?" Dorcas asked with a look of disgust scribbled over her face.
"Have you told Frank and James?" I asked again.
Alice nodded, Lily did not.
"YOU HAVEN'T TOLD HIM?!" I cried.
"HE'S GOING TO FREAK OUT," Lily answered.
"Okay, yeah, that's true."
"SYD THAT'S NOT HELPFUL!"
"WELL IT'S TRUE."
Lily groaned and slammed her face into her hands.
"What if he leaves me," she mumbled.
"Okay, well I said he'd freak out, not leave you," I said. Lily peeked through her fingers.
"Yeah, Jamesie would never leave you," Marlene added. "Unless you, like, cheated on him with Remus or something."
"Even then," Dorcas cut in. "He'd probably understand because, I mean, it's Remus."
"Yeah, big congrats there, Syd," Marlene said, pointing respectfully to me. I bowed.
"You really think he'll be okay?" Lily asked quietly.
"I think he'll freak the fuck out," I said dryly. "And then, yes, he'll be okay."
"Frank was happy," Alice said supportively. "He said he couldn't wait to be a dad... Maybe he and James can talk about it or something."
"Plus there are like 80 of us," Marlene said. "Like, if you lot needed to go get drunk and forget that you have a child, you have a babysitter on call whenever."
Lily snorted a laugh and shook her head.
"Okay," she sighed, standing up a little straighter. "Okay, yeah, he'll be okay."
"You're having a baby," I said with a smile. Lily's lips spread into a grin as well.
"And so is Alice," she laughed.
The five of us stayed downstairs for a few hours. We found some pizza in the fridge and stuck candles into two slices to turn them into "Celebratory Leftovers" as we talked about all of the things we could do with a baby and all of the ways they could die living in a flat with both James and Sirius.
It was about 3 in the morning when Marlene, Dorcas, and Alice left for their own homes and Lily and I returned upstairs.
"This is good news, Lils," I promised from my doorway. "If the kid is anything like James, that means they're exactly like me. Which is perfect."
Lily laughed from down the hall.
"Great," she said sarcastically. "Goodnight, Syd."
"Night, Lily."
I slid my door shut and flopped onto my bed.
Two babies, I thought. That's insane.
I picked up the book on the bed and flipped open to the most recent page, reading the words through the soft glow coming from the glass ball on my bedside table.
I can't wait to tell Remus, I thought, glancing over at the star that was still shining gold.
Oh, fuck. I can't tell Remus.
I groaned and pressed one hand over my eyes, blocking out the small light.
He should be home soon... I hope he's okay.
I dropped my hand and refocused on the book. I needed to distract myself away from the moon until he returned, otherwise I'd just throw myself into some sort of panic attack which was never good for anything.
July 4, 1965
Newfound fact: Syd's favorite holiday is the 4th of July.
I found her and Theo early this morning in his room. Syd was already fully dressed in blue jeans and a red and white striped shirt with one blue and one white sock and her hair in poorly crafted braids down her back.
She was shifting through his closet, pulling down any articles of clothing that matched the color scheme and throwing them onto the floor in piles while Theo sat on his beanbag chair reading out loud.
Reading! Theo was reading!!!
When I walked in and asked what was going on Theo looked up with a grin and said "Sydney's picking out my Firework clothes!" And Syd turned around with a very serious face and asked me whether I thought he should wear his blue sneakers or his red ones. (I picked the red, it matched best with the red shirt she had chosen).
I then complimented her hair and she smiled brightly and said that Marina would always "do these twists for Firework Day" which just shattered my heart into a million pieces.
I offered to rebraid it for her once Theo's outfit was situated and she let me, but I had to leave the room until Theo finished reading her the chapter she was on.
When I did her hair I asked if she missed her mom and she said yes, but then she went into a big monologue about what kind of fireworks we would be seeing tonight and if she should have a hot dog or a 'hand burger' and so I dropped the subject.
The door to my room shoved open and Remus dropped his bag at his feet and collapsed beside me. I reached out and our fingers intertwined as I felt him fall instantly asleep. I turned back to the journal, an air of reassuring sleepiness suddenly resting over me.
I wish I could have framed the way she looked up at those fireworks tonight. Her excitement never wore off, even in the car when she was redescribing each one and asking us all a million times which ones were our favorite (hers are the 'crackly ones').
I wonder if she knows that Louis used to love the 4th of July, too.
I miss him.
_______
A/N
YAY HARRY AND NEVILLE
hehe i have like 3 rlly happy chapters set up already so y'all can breathe for a min LMFAO
song: the funeral - band of horses
how it applies: idek i just feel like this song would play in the back of this chapter. yall can analyze it further if you want😭