Shelby Miller was infuriating. Audrey hated everything about her. She hated her dramatic demeanor, her pathetic blubbering, and how fiery she tended to be. At least, that's what the actress told herself for months as she studied the other woman, hoping to get an accurate grasp on her mannerisms and emotions. She also grew to hate Shelby's beautiful smile, how gorgeous she was, and the way she could pull off that stupid black dress better than anyone she could imagine. The development of the latter bunch made Audrey realize that she didn't actually resent the other woman, it was quite the opposite. However, she fought to ignore these thoughts and channeled her attraction into resentment to make her life easier. She constantly snapped at the other woman and made it a point to make snide comments when she was near. Anything to cover the flutter of her heart in the presence of the other woman.
Audrey was stupid to try to mask her attraction to Shelby with resentment, but she thought it was what was best. If she could make Shelby hate her, the other woman would avoid her and it would finally become easier for Audrey to ignore the butterflies that fluttered in her stomach each time Shelby rewarded her with one of her perfect smiles. The actress had decided to hide her feelings in a moment of panic when she realized that her annoyance toward Shelby was actually attraction. The anger that flashed in her chest when Shelby was around had really turned out to be jealousy caused by the way the woman looked at Matt. Audrey wasn't sure how she hadn't caught on previously, she had known she was bisexual since she was a teen. Somehow, Shelby had slipped through the cracks.
In order to guard her heart and protect herself, Audrey continued to push down her feelings toward Shelby and belittle the woman at any given opportunity. Each time she watched Shelby's face twist in hurt, Audrey felt a crack form in the walls she had built up around herself. She wanted to apologize, to tell Shelby she hadn't meant it, but each time the woman had vanished in seconds and Audrey decided it wasn't worth it to seek her out.
This seemed to work for a while, Audrey had found herself on a date with Rory after she had injured herself while filming. The actress was surprised at the invitation due to the large age gap, but agreed anyway as it would help keep her mind off of Shelby. Part of her felt bad for using Rory as a distraction, but she couldn't bring herself to do anything else. After a few dates, Rory had seemed to notice Audrey's hesitance and gave her an out, promising things wouldn't have to be weird when they were filming and doing press. She almost turned it down, but she realized it wasn't fair to Rory to only use him to get over her feelings for someone else. The two parted amicably and remained friends while working together.
Audrey had done everything in her power to avoid Shelby unless completely necessary. It was easy while filming, the actors and the family were never on set together. However, when it came time for press tours, it was much harder to avoid Shelby. The reenactors were constantly seated next to their live counterparts, meaning they were around each other at almost every opportunity. Of course, Sidney planned several parties for the crew to enjoy and made sure each person attended. Audrey tried to steer clear of Shelby, often leaving a table if Shelby neared. She could see that she was hurting the woman, but she had been so terrified of herself getting hurt that she ignored it.
It was one of the final nights of the press tour when Sidney invited everyone out to a bar near the hotel they had all been staying in. When she arrived, Audrey went straight for the bar and ordered herself a drink before going about her usual routine of searching for Shelby so she knew where to avoid. She found a nice, quiet spot to settle in and took a sip of her drink, relaxing at the taste of alcohol on her lips. She looked forward to the numbing effects the drink would have, knowing she was going to need it to get through the evening.
She watched the crowd in front of her with a careful eye, observing the people that could enjoy a night out without a second thought. She was jealous of their freedom; they didn't have the thoughts of Shelby Miller haunting their every waking moment. Her gaze fell on familiar blonde hair and the twist in her gut was almost enough to force her to tear her eyes away. Almost. She observed the scene, watching as Shelby tried to walk up to Matt with tears in her eyes but he shook his head and brushed her off before walking away. Audrey felt her heart drop at the sight, she couldn't stand seeing Shelby hurt like that, especially when it was someone else causing the pain. The actress downed the rest of her drink and, before she knew it, she was walking in brisk strides to catch up to the fleeting woman. There was a moment where Audrey considered spinning on her heel and retreating to her safe space, but the burning in her chest motivated her to stay on the path to Shelby.
The younger blonde had slipped outside before Audrey had caught up to her. When Audrey pushed the door open, she frantically looked around, hoping to get some clue as to the direction Shelby journeyed. She let out a silent prayer, thanking the universe when she spotted Shelby leaning against a wall outside of the bar. Audrey moved quickly so she could make sure she would reach Shelby before the woman started to wander off again.
"Shelby," Audrey called out softly as she approached the younger woman. Her chest ached as she saw the tears still forming in her eyes, Shelby had been willing herself not to cry this entire time. At that moment, Audrey admired her strength; the actress had always struggled to prevent herself from crying when she was truly upset.
Shelby scoffed and wiped at her eyes as she turned to face the other woman. She wrapped her arms around her frame as if she was trying to protect herself from whatever Audrey had followed her to say.
"I saw that you were upset," Audrey started.
Shelby cut her off with a sharp voice, "So what? So you followed me so you could just come out here and make it worse?"
Audrey visibly faltered at the questioning and shook her head, "I-No."
"Why do you hate me? Why is it that you spend every second reminding me that you are so much better than me?" Shelby snapped, stepping away from the wall she was using as support. She was upset before, but she was angry now. She was finally having the opportunity to get answers out of the other woman.
"I don't hate you, Shelby."
"Could've fooled me."
Audrey shook her head once more, stepping toward Shelby. "I don't hate you," she tried again.
Shelby kept her distance, unsure of how to feel at the moment. She should be ecstatic that the other woman doesn't hate her, but there is a small part of her that feels this is a part of some huge joke Audrey is about to reveal.
Her voice came out much smaller than she intended, reflecting the way she felt on the inside. "Then why do you do it?"
Audrey hesitated a moment before taking a deep breath. Here goes nothing, she thought to herself. "I'm jealous."
"You're jealous of me? That's why you've made my life absolute hell after all of this?" Shelby was shocked at Audrey's reasoning. She wasn't the type of person people should be jealous of, she was barely holding on at this point.
"Not of you," Audrey corrected her with a small laugh. "Fuck, I'm really doing this," she muttered under her breath before running a hand through her short hair. "I'm jealous of Matt."
Recognition clicked in Shelby's face as her eyes searched Audrey's for an explanation. Suddenly, the entire world around them went silent and Shelby could hear her heart beating in her ears. Audrey was jealous of Matt, meaning she was jealous of what he had. Audrey was attracted to Shelby.
"Shit," Shelby murmured, a minuscule smile growing on her lips as she leaned back against the wall once more. She was unsure of what else to say, she certainly hadn't been expecting Audrey's confession.
Panic filled Audrey as she remembered exactly why she had built her walls up. The fear of rejection. She wanted nothing more than for the ground beneath her to open up and swallow her whole. There was nothing left for her here, no reason for her to exist in the same area as Shelby.
"I'm sorry," Audrey whispered as she turned on her heel. She wanted to run away as far as she could get, away from Shelby and away from this stupid project that had turned her life upside down. Before she could get far, Audrey felt a set of slim fingers wrapping around her wrist, holding her in place.
Shelby tugged on Audrey's wrist and pulled her flush against her body. The actress's eyes were screwed shut at the shock of being pulled back so she missed the way Shelby closed her eyes and tilted her head before leaning down and pressing their lips together. She was shocked at the feeling of Shelby's lips pressed against her own; she opened her eyes for a brief moment just to verify that this was really happening before they fluttered closed and she reciprocated the kiss.
Shelby was the first to pull away, not releasing her grip on Audrey's wrist as she spoke. "That's why I was upset," she breathed. "Matt and I are getting divorced after the press tour; Sidney said it would be bad for ratings if we did before. I've been trying to ignore my feelings for you, but even when you're being a complete bitch I still managed to fall for you. He said I was crazy for thinking you would ever feel anything other than hatred toward me."
Audrey felt every muscle in her body relax at the revelation. She wasn't sure this was truly occurring, she thought she was going to have to die with the secret of liking Shelby. Her feelings were reciprocated. Shelby Miller liked her, Audrey Tindall. When she met Shelby's eyes, she finally registered what the woman had said. She stepped forward and carefully wrapped her arms around the woman's fit frame, ignoring the aching in her as she felt how muscular Shelby truly was. She pushed those thoughts away, now was not the time to be aroused.
"I was trying to push you away so I could get over how attracted to you I was," Audrey whispered as she nestled her head in the crook of Shelby's neck. "I was so frustrated that you could get me so flustered without even trying."
Shelby shook her head with a laugh and rested her hands on Audrey's back, holding her close as she closed her eyes. "It was so annoying to still want to kiss you when you were rude to me," she chuckled.
"Do you want to come to my room? As much as I love being outside, I think it would be best to take the conversation into a more private space," Audrey offered, untangling herself from Shelby.
"Lead the way," Shelby nodded.