Glowing. Covered in gold, showered in sparkling lights.
I'm floating.
I'm literally drifting on my board, the cool, serene water beneath me, the warm sun raining down on my skin, illuminating every possible one of my senses. At least, that's the feeling I'm waking up to.
Tommy's firm chest against my cheek brings a bit of that dazzling sun. Waking up beside him is like the sweet caress of the hot sand when the cool breeze picks up, or the warm blanket of the sun when the water gets a little too cold.
His hand slowly slides to my hip, his fingers creating a trail along my side. And that's the other side that he encompasses. It's more than just the calm comfort of his warmth. He also provides the heat from the goddamn surface of the sun itself. The way he sets a fire inside me, a blazing, burning desire to feel those hands explore more, to feel his tongue discover unspeakable places, and those lips to find their home.
"Good morning," his deep, barely awake, intoxicatingly sexy voice rasps from his throat, melting every solid piece of me left standing.
A puddle.
That's what I am. A puddle of merciless desire and need to repeat last night all over again, courtesy of the one and only, Tommy Sallow.
"Good morning," I whisper back.
"I could really get used to feeling you against me every morning," he exhales.
My hand travels up the valleys and hills of his abdomen, slowly making its way across his chest. I press firmly there, lifting myself to face him now. His lustrous blues are just now peering through half closed lids.
"Me too," I smile up at him, resulting in a pantydropping smile of his own. One that prompts my lips to find his. The grip on my hip tightens as he pulls me in tighter, my body not protesting the close contact.
Our lips part, the ache to feel him again already consuming me as our eyes search one another. I feel like I've been fighting this moment. Denying myself the possibility of what we could truly be if I just let myself fall. But now, looking up at him, it feels like everything is actually how it should be. Perfectly placed to perfection.
"What are you thinking about?" he asks, tucking my hair behind my ear.
"That I'm happy. And that it feels really fucking good to be happy," I smile, letting him see exactly where my mind is at.
He smiles back, the joy evident in him as well. "Yeah? I'm happy too."
I rest my head back on his chest, savoring this very moment. Holding onto the bliss of letting go, of admitting what my heart has been shouting for weeks.
"Hey," he speaks up now, walking his fingers back and forth up my arm. "Can we call Mia?"
I push up against him again to get a better look. "You want to call Mia...right now?"
"Yeah," he answers like it's obvious. "It's been a few days and I never got to wish her Merry Christmas. I can't seem to stop thinking about that."
See. This right here, this is why I can't seem to stop falling. And the fact that he genuinely wants to talk to her, that he's looking at me like I'm the crazy one to be questioning such a concept, is the very thing that sends my heart into this crazy pattern of beats.
"Actually," I sit up now, swinging my legs from the bed to grab my phone and show him the picture of her wearing the glove he got her.
"Amber," he leaps up behind me, nearly causing me to jump. When I turn to look at him, his fingers are tracing a soft pattern across the sensitive skin on my back. I hadn't even realized the severity of the discoloration it had taken on over the last few days. It feels like a different lifetime ago that I was thrown against the picnic table out back. And in all honesty, it looks a whole lot worse than it feels.
But the reminder of that moment, of watching Vince destroy something of Mia's, hearing her voice rip through the yard, trying so hard to get him to stop. The way she fell apart in my arms, the way I couldn't seem to hold it together anymore. How we cried together, for far longer than I wanted to allow.
My eyes squeeze shut as my focus falls to the wavering breaths that instinctively fall into place. He must feel my shift because he is quickly behind me, his arms wrapped around my stomach, holding me tight to his chest.
Warmth.
The heat of the sun melting away the last frozen bits of ice that cling to my heart.
My eyes push open as my breathing falls back into place. I let my body relax into his, to feel his steady heartbeat against my back. He places soft kisses along my shoulder now, sending new waves of emotion coursing through me.
"He didn't appreciate me standing up to him," I finally manage to let the words fill the air. "He didn't like that I was done. That I was strong enough to tell him I was done. It's always been about power with him. And in that moment, the power was all mine, so he did what he could to take it back." His arms tighten slightly around me as his forehead falls to my shoulder, his breathing becoming more frantic now. I can feel the pounding beat of his heart against my back, the muscles aching to stay calm. He's hurting.
I turn my body now, slightly standing before placing a leg on either side of him, settling myself into his lap as I wrap my arms around his neck. Our eyes meet, his filled with a mixture of emotion. I can see each one dancing along the surface. The anger coursing through the small tenses in his neck, the pain taking weight on his chest, the concern in the way his fingers gently rest on my hips, and the love filling his eyes as he looks back at me.
"I should have been there," he whispers now.
I place my hands on his face, keeping him steadily here with me. "No," I shake my head. "I had to do that. I had to finally stand up for myself, for what I want. And I needed to do that on my own. No matter the consequences."
His forehead falls to mine. "That doesn't make this easier," his voice drops, the pain lacing its way into his vocal chords.
I rest my lips against his forehead now, placing a gentle kiss there. "I know it doesn't," I acknowledge, placing another kiss on each side of his face. "But hey," I pull his attention up to me, a smile now spreading across my face. "I did it. I finally, completely, one hundred percent, walked away. And I'm okay. Mia's okay. And now I'm here. With you. That's all I want. I just want to be in this moment with you. Feel the happiness you bring to my life. The sense of strength and freedom, and so much freaking love."
I can still see the inner struggle he seems to be battling. That urge to want to settle a score with Vince, the need to give me comfort, the guilt for not being there to stop it. But he lets it all fall, for now. I watch the clouds clear from his eyes, the sun emerging once again as his fingers work their way across my skin, that trail of fire igniting my skin once again.
That sense of uncertainty of lingering questions sheds to the floor as it is quickly replaced with the scorching passion that draws my body to his. My heart may be oozing butterflies and rainbows, but my core is displaying a much more sinful desire. How one man can bring out so many shades of intimacy is something I am still learning to discover. I've never felt this level of love, I never even knew it existed. I just want to be worshipped by this man in every way possible. I want to worship him.
"Tommy," I whisper, pushing myself against his growing length.
"Yeah?"
"I'm going to need you to help me with something."
His lips find my neck, causing my back to arch into him, the breaths to fall out rushed.
"What's that?" he exhales against my skin.
I can feel the intense pressure building. The desire to feel him again, to come undone in ways that shouldn't be humanly possible. I'm not one to speak up, to express exactly what I want. That's partly because what I wanted never really mattered. I shut that part of me down. But right now, in the safety of his arms, with this goddam heat flourishing through me, I feel the need to let him know just what's going through my mind.
"I'm not planning to leave this room until I'm screaming your name."
His eyes pull back to mine, locking in place for a brief moment. Only a moment before his lips crash to mine and I am quickly swept beneath him, his body pressing down on mine as his fingers make their way to the very part of me that can't seem to stop aching for more.
Yeah, it won't take long before his name is rattling these walls.
~~~
"What time is it?" he asks, parking the car in somewhat of a rush as we pull up to his mom's house.
Shortly after he followed through with my request, he remembered he promised a family breakfast. I hesitated to join, worried that I would be intruding on premade plans, but he insisted. And well, I can't say I am not interested in getting to know the women in his life. The very ones who helped shaped the man that I've fallen in love with. So, after a quick shower, a brief phone call to Mia, and throwing on a sweater dress that most definitely is not built for the New York winter chill, we rushed to the car to avoid being any later than we already inevitably were.
I lift my phone, showing him the time.
"Great," he exhales under his breath. I know he doesn't like to be late, something I've picked up on pretty quickly with him. But we aren't technically that late. And if you ask me, the reason for being late was well worth the embarrassing walk of shame into the house. I mean, come on, he drove me to my hotel late last night and never returned. Now we're showing up late? It's not exactly a secret why we might be casually strolling in caked in suspiciously giddy smiles.
"They're not going to let me hear the end of this. You ready? You're about to get hit with it too." His eyes find mine now as a look of sympathy flashes across his face.
I slide my hand in his, lacing my fingers between his. "Aren't I supposed to be the one freaking out?"
He smiles now, dropping his head back to the seat. "Yes. Actually, I don't really know." His head lifts back up, those piercing eyes finding mine once again. "I haven't really...I don't usually..."
"Tommy," I interrupt him. "Am I your first?" I tease, attempting to lighten the mood.
He doesn't answer me with more lost, fumbling words, something I've picked up as uncharacteristic for him. Something that only seems to be at play when he's trying to impress me. I happen to think it's fucking adorable. Instead, he places his hand along my cheek, pulling my lips to his. I like this response much better than any words anyway. I lean into him, wondering how much later he'd be willing to be.
"If you want to get technical," he breathes out against me. "Yes, you are the first girl I've brought home who ever meant this much to me. The only girl I've ever fallen in love with. The only one I want to share everything with."
Damn it. If I didn't want to feel him hike this dress up as I maneuvered around this console before, I sure as hell want to feel him slide my panties to the side now. Only problem is that would definitely make us late...more than we are now.
"We better get in there," I whisper as he nods against me, reaching for the door handle. "Otherwise I'm about to really give them something to talk about."
"Fuck," he lets out, giving me a look with those darkened eyes that still cause the heat to rise. "You're killing me," he complains.
I can't help but lean forward, placing a small kiss to his neck. "We have all night," I whisper against his skin. I can feel the small tenses of muscle as I pull away, removing myself from the car before I lose all sense of control.
Walking into his mom's house, I am hit with a million delicious scents. The first yummy smell is of cinnamon rolls, followed by a hint of vanilla and sugar cookie. As I take another step, there's a shift to pine trees and gingerbread. My eyes light up at the array of smells taking over my body.
I feel Tommy's hand tighten in mine as he pulls me back, his lips against my ear. "My mom makes candles."
I nod, now looking down at the entry table which is delicately draped in breathtaking candles. Makes candles is an understatement. She's an artist. They're not only beautiful to smell, but uniquely gorgeous to look at. Each one is filled with intricate items, leaves, flowers, cinnamon sticks, dried fruit, and glitter within a few. They're full of life and joy, and so much elegance.
The laughter in the other room rips my impressed eyes from the table to the open doorway in the hall. Tommy is still for one more brief moment before he pulls my hand.
"Wow," the blonde one shouts out, a bit overexaggerated, leaving me to think that it must be Evie. I met Sadie yesterday, and according to Tommy, Harper is much more reserved. "Showing up late to Mom's breakfast. What nerve. Can you believe it Harper?" she smiles.
The girl I can now certainly place as Harper, fights a smile as she glances between the two of us. "Oh, I don't know. I'm sure he had his reasons."
"Oh, I'm sure he did too," she laughs before proceeding to make kissing noises. This only makes me laugh. I mean, they aren't exactly wrong. And I can't say the cattiness of sisters is something I ever got to experience.
"Hey," a beautiful older woman enters the room now. I recognize her voice from our conversation on the phone as his mom. "Leave him alone. Can't you see he has a guest?" she insists, her eyes landing on me. Her smile spreads across her face now as she takes a step closer to me. Her arms fall open automatically, prompting me to step forward too. "Amber, it's so nice to put a face to that beautiful voice of yours."
I release Tommy's hand as I step forward, giving her a hug back. "You too," I smile, immediately feeling welcome.
"Now," she says, taking a step back before turning to face her girls. "You girls leave these two alone. Even if they are late..."
"Thank you," Tommy states.
"Come on, he's never late. And now he comes in with a girl? You expect us to just let this one go?" Evie speaks up again. "How many times has he given the intimidating older brother act to any guy we brought home, even if it was just a friend?"
"I never said you couldn't give them a hard time. I just prefer you wait until after the kids are not right in the other room to heckle them for the exact reasons they ignored the agreed upon start time," her cunning smile mirrors Evie's now, their resemblance becoming even more clear. It's that wickedly playful look in his mom's eyes now that has me ducking my head. I knew they would clue into why we were late, but it's a lot harder to face when his mom joins in on the accusations.
"I tried to warn you," Tommy speaks up, taking a step closer to me now.
"I have two brothers," I shrug my shoulders now before taking in the room full of girls, and Austin. I put aside the shameful cloud trying to take precedence and channel my inner strength. The very girl who wouldn't blink twice before jumping into the ocean in the middle of a full moon. "I think I prefer the sarcastic fun they seem to be dishing you right now, versus the...what did you call it?" I ask, my eyes meeting Evie's. "Intimidating older brother act?"
"Oh, you have older brothers?" Sadie speaks up now.
"Um, no, not exactly. A twin and a younger brother, but both loved to give my dates a nice little threat or two before taking me out. My twin even attempted to keep the whole school from dating me."
"Sounds familiar," Sadie sighs.
"So, does that mean your brothers give Tommy a hard time?" Austin smirks directly at Tommy, now seemingly more interested in where this conversation is going.
Tommy steps forward, that cocky confidence that gives my stomach butterflies now coming to the surface. "No," he proudly states. "He doesn't give me a hard time because unlike you, I'm not a -"
"Language," Sadie jumps in just as three small brown haired girls come fluttering around the corner. I can immediately feel Tommy's demeanor shift.
The middle of the two girls springs forward as her eyes lock onto Tommy. Before I even have time to process everything that just played out, she is flying into his arms. "Uncle Tommy," she beams, wrapping her arms around his neck as he swoops her up.
"Hey June-bug," I hear him smile.
As he shifts her to his side, not letting her go, she turns to face him. "Why are you late?"
Evie's laugh fills the room, followed by the rest of the family. Harper's smile is more subtle, but I can see the humor of the situation washing over her.
"I'm sorry, I had -"
"Some things to undress, eh hum, I mean address?" Evie speaks up.
"Some unfinished business to take care of?" Sadie adds on.
"Some hard work to get done?" Harper chimes in now, that devious smile growing as all the girls give one another a silent high five.
"Now, now," his mom steps forward. "What did I say about the jokes? It's not his fault he couldn't seem to...get out of bed this morning?" I watch as she turns to her daughters, all of their smiles beaming as Tommy stands silent.
I am truly enjoying this little moment, a lot more than I probably should be. They've rendered him speechless. I mean, by the look on his face, he has plenty to say, just not in front of his adoring niece.
"So what is it?" June asks now. "Why were you late?"
"Hi June," I step forward now. "I'm Amber."
Her arm clings to Tommy's neck as she nervously gives me a sideways look.
"It's actually my fault your uncle is late. You see..." I let my eyes meet the peanut gallery before connecting back with hers. "I had something really important that needed tending to, and he was the only one who could help." My eyes glance once again to the stifled laughs at the table. No point in denying what everyone already knows, right?
"Did he help you?" she asks, the room falling silent.
"Yes, he sure did," I smile back, acutely aware of the eyes now trained on us.
She slowly nods. "He's a hero. Did you know that?"
My heart nearly falls flat on the floor. That's about the cutest thing I've heard. "I did know that," I smile back.
~~~
After breakfast, I find myself on the deck with Evie, both of us enjoying a warm cup of coffee against the frigid backdrop. Her blonde hair is now falling out from under a maroon beanie, one that matches her peacoat perfectly. She's well put together, not over the top, fashionable yet easygoing. Her outgoing personality only adds to her beauty. I could see her taking names and breaking hearts throughout her years. Something I actually kind of admire.
"So," she speaks up now, the steam from her coffee floating above her cup. "You held your own in there."
I lift my eyes to meet hers, not backing down. "You were only having fun. Besides, we were late. No point trying to hide it."
She smiles, looking down at her coffee before back up to me. "You were. But you were a good sport. Played along. I can respect that."
"And you speak your mind," I respond. "I can respect that, too."
She nods before taking a small sip of her coffee. I pause to do the same, knowing that this conversation isn't over yet. "Look," she begins, just as Harper steps out to join us. She doesn't say anything, just takes a seat on the bench beside her sister. "We like to make fun of our brother. We dish it out, he dishes it back. It's what we do. But we love him. And, he's all we've got. So, all fun and laughter aside, if you hurt him..." she pauses, the words struggling to surface. Something that I can see doesn't happen often for her.
"I understand," I finish for her. "I'm not going to sit here and pretend like my life is perfect. That I can offer him everything that he clearly deserves. But what I can do is tell you that I love him. That I have never felt this strongly about someone, and I have no intentions of breaking his heart."
"Good," Harper is the one to speak up now. Evie pushes her back into the cushion, allowing for me to see Harper's profile. "Because his heart has already endured enough."
I nod at her comment. We don't say anything else after that. We sit in a comfortable silence, watching our breaths float through the air. I know Tommy has been through a lot, and I know the things he's done to be there for his family. I also know that all they want is to see their brother happy. Something I intend to make happen.