The party progressed and I danced with Lord Graham once before finding my way onceagain to the beverages to avoid Miss Cecelia Brown. Mr. Brunswick was also over there and soon, he engaged me in some small talk which I found him to be quite a charming fellow.
"Your sermon last Sunday was very good," I said to him as I watched the dance go on.
"Thank you, Miss Forsythe," Mr. Brunswick said, looking at the dance floor as well. "I find that James is quite an interesting book to read and I am quite fond of talking on it."
"My dear friend, Miss Burns, is quite fond of that book as well," I stated, remembering how Audra quoted from it every so often. "Her favorite verse has something to do with 'doing the word' rather than 'just hearing it'."
"Ah, yes," Mr. Brunswick nodded with a smile. "' But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves'. That is a very good scripture, though it is harder to live out than one thinks."
"You have it memorized also?" I asked with a chuckle. "I seem to be very behind. Audra always is studying some scripture to memorize."
"Is Audra, Miss Burns?" he asked, thinking for a moment.
"Oh, yes, my apologies," I said softly.
"Do you sit by Miss Burns at church?" he asked as if trying to remember. "The brunette who wears a blue-grey bonnet every Sunday?"
"Yes, indeed," I smiled at his recollection. "She is the very one."
"Is that her dancing with her brother?" Mr. Brunswick asked. I followed his gaze before nodding.
"Indeed, sir," I smiled, before curtsying. "I must go. Thank you for chatting, sir."
I walk over to where the dance was, taking my place on the edge of the floor. I watched Nicolas dance with his sister and ached for him to dance with me. I knew I was trying to give up my scheme of trying to get him to fall in love with me, but I still couldn't deny that I was still falling for him. How foolish of me.
Soon the dance was over and I clapped along with everyone else but it seemed my heart was not in it. I truly missed dancing with Nicolas. He was very good at it and was a good conversationalist. He also was so kind. I shook my head to rid myself of such melancholic and nostalgic thoughts. Whining and wishing in my head would not do me any good.
"Ah, Magdelline," Nicolas said as he appeared beside me with a chuckle. "You've seemingly evaded me all evening, so I'm glad I've tracked you down."
"Evaded you?" I asked, quizzically. "I was unaware I had, Nicolas. My apologies."
"No need to apologize," Nicolas smiled. "But would you like to dance the last dance with me?"
"Of course," I said, curtsying to him before he swept me off to the dance floor. Of course, it was a slower dance.
"You look well, this evening, Magdelline," Nicolas said as we waited our turn to dance our part. "That color suits you well."
"Thank you, Nicolas," I said, trying to hold back a blush. "You look well also."
"Thank you," he said and it was silent. After a few moments, I looked at his face and he seemed deep in thought.
"Whatever are you thinking of, Nicolas?" I asked, chuckling with an edge of worry. "Your face is all scrunched up."
"Oh, I did not realize," Nicolas said before shaking his head. "I was just thinking."
"Of?" I asked, trying to get the thought out of him.
"Of a previous conversation of ours," he said, gathering his words. "You said you were trying to force yourself to be married."
"Nicolas, I told you I gave that up," I said trying to evade a possible question that could come up.
"Who was it?" Nicolas asked, looking me in the eye. I looked away.
"It's not polite to ask that, Mr. Burns!" I whispered harshly.
"Please tell me it was not Lord Graham," he stated, looking at me intently. I let out a laugh.
"Of course not," I said, face contorting in disgust. "I would never want to marry that man in my right mind."
"That's what I thought," he said, sighing in relief. "I could not imagine you married to that man. He is so arrogant."
"I was arrogant as well," I said softly. "I was so sure I was the best candidate for marriage when it was the complete opposite."
"At least you learned from it," he said, before looking at me again. "But who was it? You surely had someone in mind."
"It is too embarrassing to tell, so please do not ask me further," I said, as the dance was over. "Thank you do this dance."
I curtsied and went off to the powder room for some peace and quiet. I hoped I had not given away my feelings by my reluctance to tell him, but I knew it was too late to pull anything back. I just prayed that God would help me get through it if Nicolas did figure it out.
--
We all gathered for a meal as the evening progressed. I sat near Amelia and Nicolas while Audra stood chatting with Mr. Brunswick a few feet away. After Mr. Brunswick had danced with Audra, he had been talking to her nonstop—no doubt about theology of some sort. And Nicolas was not paying any heed to our conversation at the table—instead he stared darkly at the clergyman who had the attention of Nicolas's dear sister. I couldn't help but laugh at the sudden change in Nicolas's behavior, which made him turn to face me.
"What?" he asked, clenching his jaw before raising a brow.
"I'm sure Audra is fine," I said, glancing at Audra and Preston in the corner. "Mr. Brunswick is a kind gentleman and will not be cruel."
"He's been talking to her for an hour," Nicolas said, seemingly unaware of my comment. "What could that mean?"
"It could mean he is enjoying an intelligent discussion of theology with your sister," I replied, trying to be reasonable. "It is no different than when you and I debate philosophy."
"But, he doesn't know her."
"How do you think they will know each other better? By just looking at one another? One must talk to self-disclose and one must reply to pull out more information, Nicolas. That is basic communication."
"But why her?" Nicolas asked, narrowing his eyes at the pair in the corner.
"Are you afraid of losing her?" I asked, taking a bite of my chicken.
"What? No! Of course not," Nicolas shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "I am just worried for her, that is all. I do no know much of Mr. Brunswick or of his intentions."
"Then get to know him," I offered, with a shrug. We were soon left to quiet murmuring in the room before Sir Graham stood up to gather everyone's attention.
"We have a new pianoforte and we hoped that someone would bless our ears with a tune," Sir Graham said before glancing across the room. "Anyone fluent in the art of piano?"
"I can go, Sir Graham," Cecelia said, standing up gracefully. She glided over to the piano before sitting down. She did not pick out any music, yet she played a wonderful Bach piece with no fault it seemed. At the end of the piece we all clapped. "Why doesn't Magdelline come up and play a tune. I haven't heard her playing grace my ears in over three years."
"I am no good, sir," I replied, hoping to evade such an embarrassing event.
"Ah, they all say that when truly they are good."
"But I do not lie or exaggerate, sir," I reiterated. "I truly am not a skilled player."
"Ah, not true, not true," Sir Graham shook his head before beckoning me on. "Please come up, dear!"
My heart dropped at her request. I felt heat rush to my face as the thought of my playing in front of everyone came to mind. I had not performed live in years ever since I had made a fool of myself because of my horrid playing skills. I did not have the coordination or hand flexibility to play any song well.
"Yes, Miss Forsythe, you must pay us a song," Sir Graham smiled, beckoning me. I looked over at Audra, practically begging with my eyes to get me out of this, but it seemed she was looking over at Mr. Brunswick who stood beside her. I glanced at Nicolas who was already looking at me. I tried to convey my thoughts in my expression but he didn't seem to catch on. I stood up in reflex, walking over to the piano before sitting down. I looked at the sheet music on the top, opening the book to a piece that looked somewhat familiar. I started the piece, cringing at times I went off the rhythm or hit a wrong note. I was not fluid at all, and I could barely hold the hot tears from welling. Thankfully, I made it through the movement and stood up showing I was done. The effect of my performance was evident on everyone's faces. They all seemed to hold distaste on their face as they slowly and unenthusiastically clapped for me. But thankfully, before the clapping stopped, Nicolas stood up, clapping loudly and with enthusiasm. Audra, Mr. Brunswick, Charles Graham, and Amelia followed suit, clapping a bit louder and faster for me. That made my heart thankful for them before I walked back to sit by Nicolas.
"Thank you," I whispered, holding back tears as the embarrassment settled in.
"You are welcome, dear," was his reply back as Amelia Graham got up to play the next piece. How I wished I could disappear.