Once he arrived home from school Donkey received an email from Shrek on his donkey-phone (a phone for donkeys) and was very excited to open it. Maybe Shrek was going to say he'd broken up with Trump because he was secretly in love with Donkey. Donkey crossed his donkey fingers as he opened the message. As he read his face fell (became longer) and a single tear rolled down his cheek and into his left nostril. Donkey sneezed a sneeze of despair and a booger landed onto his crazy evidence board. Red string sagged under the weight of the snot.
Shrek had a baby with cheese whiz running through its veins. This complicated things. Donkey went to the board. Red string flew between thumbtacks and connected photos and news clippings that had nothing to do with anything at all really. Donkey's grandmother's obituary connected to a coupon for string beans and that in turn connected to a photo of Danny DeVito. It all made sense now.