Second update this week. Enjoy!
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“Louis Styles.”
“Harry Tomlinson sounds better,” Louis protested, earning himself a glare from Harry.
“What’s wrong with my last name?” Harry pouted.
Louis smiled fondly, kissing the pout off of Harry’s lips. Harry, against his will, smiled into the kiss.
“Nothing, love,” replied Louis when he pulled away. Harry whimpered. “Horny, are we?”
“I like your lips. Is that a crime?”
“If I say yes, will you allow me to handcuff you?” teased Louis, his eyes sparkling mischievously. Harry swallowed.
“Only if you wear a cop uniform,” said Harry, his voice gruff and sending a wave of pleasure through the older boy.
“I reckon that could be –” He was interrupted by Harry’s lips on his own.
So that was how it would be.
***
As the warm weather seasons transitioned back into the cold weather seasons, Harry and Louis only grew more attached to each other. Hardly a moment went by without one of them murmuring an ‘I love you,’ to which the other would respond with a heated kiss and an affirmation that he felt the same way.
They were cuddled up one evening in Louis’ bed, which they has been doing more frequently because Harry slept better in Louis’ arms than he did in his room where he was alone with his thoughts. Also, they decided to watch some telly that night and Louis’ room was the only room in the cabin that had one.
We interrupt this program for a special newscast.
Harry looked at the older boy who was holding him with a perplexed expression. Louis just shrugged and continued to play with the other boy’s curls, tugging at them gently. Harry hummed in contentment as he did so.
We’re still looking for him said a familiar tearful voice. Harry froze.
We know he’s still out there said another familiar voice, the thick Irish drawl sending chills down Harry’s spine. And I’m sure I spoke with him recently on the street.
Harry began to shake, tremors taking over his entire body. This could not be happening. He was being so careful. He made sure…
“Haz… Harry… baby! What’s wrong?” Louis asked, panicked. He tried getting the other boy’s attention but soon, he stopped, realizing why Harry was so distraught.
“If you have any information on where my son Harry Edward Styles is, please contact us at the helpline number below. Any leads could make a difference between life and death and Harry needs your help to come home.”
Louis’ grip tightened painfully on Harry’s hair, causing Harry to gasp, tears of pain filling his eyes.
“Louis…”
“Who are they?” Louis asked, his voice deadly calm.
“Louis –”
“ANSWER ME!”
“My mum and best mate,” Harry gasped. “My mum and Niall –”
“You spoke with him?”
“I bumped into him in London! I was in disguise… he was handing me a flyer of myself… I used an American accent –”
Louis laughed cruelly, sending chills down Harry’s spine. He had never heard such a sound come out of his beautiful Louis’ mouth. He was too gentle, too kind…
“You’re a fucking fool!” exclaimed Louis, his words stinging Harry. “Why didn't you tell me you had done something so idiotic?” He finally let go of Harry’s hair and got up, pacing the room in an aggravated manner. He yanked at his own feathery hair.
“I didn’t – I’m sorry,” cried Harry, getting more and more upset with Louis. Why was he talking to him like he was some inept child?
“BECAUSE YOU ARE!” shouted Louis.
Had he said that out loud?
“Like hell I am! You’re just mad that someone other than you cares about me. That they haven’t given up!”
“Damn right I’m mad! You betrayed me.”
“You forgave me.”
“And then you lied to me.”
“I did not –”
“By omission. Do you have any idea what you’ve done to us? To me?”
“There it is!” yelled Harry, his voice now matching Louis’ in volume. “You’re not upset that I may have blown where I am. You’re upset because of what you’ll face if you’re caught.”
Louis opened his mouth to retort, but Harry successfully cut him off.
“You’re remarkable Louis William Tomlinson. Not only are you a Class A dickhead, but you’re also the most selfish person I’ve ever –”
SLAP!
Harry tumbled backwards, colliding with the television and sending both him and it crashing to the floor. There was a sickening crunch.
Harry watched with wide, fearful eyes as Louis approached him. Never had Louis continued to hurt him after the initial slap. He always promptly apologized. He had been getting his temper in check lately. It was all his fault for upsetting his Louis…
He felt a swift kick to his gut and his curled in on himself in pain. Another kick to his ribs.
“Louis,” he gasped. “Louis, please –”
The older boy could not seemingly hear him, delivering a blow to Harry’s left eye. Harry whimpered in agony, closing in on himself. Not his Louis… his Louis would never hurt him like this… why had he made him so angry…?
He was crying. No… he was numb and there were no tears on his cheeks. Who was…?
Louis.
Harry opened his one, not swollen eye and gazed across the room at Louis. He was sitting in the corner, his knees drawn up to his chest, gasping as he cried while staring in shock at Harry. Harry tried to move over to hold the boy but he fell over in pain. This only caused Louis to cry harder.
“I’m so sorry…” gasped Louis. “Baby, I’m so sorry, I can’t believe I hurt you…”
“Louis, it’s okay –”
“Leave.”
That one word, that one syllable, pierced through Harry’s heart and soul.
“Lou –”
“You promised me, Harry,” cried Louis, sobs wracking his body. “You promised me that if I ever hurt you or made you feel unsafe that you would leave. Please.”
The brokenness in Louis’ voice made Harry’s hurt split perfectly down the middle. But deep down, he knew Louis was right. He didn’t belong here and he couldn’t stay with Louis and live in fear for the rest of his life when there were people back home that were worried sick about him. For once, he couldn’t make the selfish decision to stay and forget where he belonged.
Even if he felt deep in his heart that he belonged to Louis.
To Louis, the voice in his head mocked him. Not with him. There’s a difference.
Harry shut the voice down, painfully getting to his feet. He walked over to Louis and crouched next to him, despite the horrible pain in his abdomen.
“Look at me,” said Harry softly. Louis refused to make eye contact. “Louis William Tomlinson, look at me or so help me I will make you.”
Louis looked up hesitantly, his eyes still blurry from the continuous stream of tears. Harry wiped them away with his thumbs.
“I love you,” breathed Harry honestly. Louis let out a sob. “I love you so much Louis, and despite all that you have done to me or may do to me, that will never change. But you’re right, I have to leave because I know in my heart… you’re just a moving part.”
“I’m not safe here and for once, I have to stop putting my heart before my brain and think of someone other than myself. Or maybe that’s not it at all. Maybe I need to start thinking of myself and stop thinking of what we had… or what you mean to me.”
“But I do love you, Louis William Tomlinson. Don’t you ever forget that.”
Harry leaned in, capturing Louis’ lips in his own. He felt the older boy melt into the kiss, but as soon as he acknowledged that he ended it. It was time to leave.
For good.
He got up, no longer feeling the pain in his body but that was probably the shock setting in. And then he began walking away – away from the life that he and Louis had together and toward the life that he belonged to long before he lost control of himself.
He exited the front door and looked one more time at the cabin he had grown accustomed to calling home. But it wasn’t home. Not really. Home is where you felt safe and where you felt loved. And while Louis may have claimed to have loved him and showed that love numerous times…
At the end of the day, Harry was still a hostage of both Louis’ and his heart.
So he walked. And he walked. And he continued walking until the cabin in the forest was a distant life that he lived, even though the memories made there were still as fresh as the scars on his arms.
That was Louis, the voice in his head affirmed. Remember that.
Harry got a lot of stares as he walked through London to the next stop that would bring him to Holmes Chapel. He heard the gasps and he saw the pointing. But he didn’t care. All he cared about was what he was leaving behind and trying to remind himself that he should care about what he was going to be coming back to.
Finally, he was staring at the front door of his childhood home. Only, it didn’t feel like his home anymore. No, it had not been his home for a long while now.
Slowly, he raised his bruised and battered arm and knocked on the door. He heard footsteps approaching, but they were slightly muffled by the pounding of his heart. He had no idea what to expect from the other end of the door when it opened.
“Yes?”
Harry’s eyes filled with tears upon seeing his mother in the flesh. Suddenly, with all the overwhelming emotions from the day consuming him, he felt himself falling until he was in her arms again. He heard her scream and the sobs wrack through her body. Sobs of grief and relief. He heard her call for someone and before he fell completely unconscious, he felt another pair of hands lift him up and bring him into the place that he belonged.
Even though it wasn’t with the person he could not shake the feeling he belonged with.