regret was the first thing that wove it's way into dazai's mind as he fell.
regret that he jumped.
regret that he didn't say goodbye.
regret that he left chuuya.
his chibi.
his love.
the regrets of his life and actions fogged his thoughts as he fell further.
he didn't realise he had almost reached the ground.
he didn't have time to look towards the crowd that had gathered.
he didn't see chuuya standing there, watching his final moments with tears pouring down his face.
he didn't see his chibi-chan again.
•••••
chuuya.
as dazai neared the cracked pavement, regret filled chuuya's mind.
regret that he hadn't told dazai he loved him that morning; he was in a hurry to hand a report to mori.
regret that he and dazai had never married. chuuya had been planning to propose later that week.
regret that he hadn't made it in time.
regret that all he could do as his lover fell was watch.
•••••
in summary, neither of them could do anything to change what happened that day. no one knows exactly why he did it, but for a while there was a rumour that a note addressed to chuuya was left on the roof of the building.
•••••
for a while, chuuya couldn't accept it. how could he?
he spent his days ghost like; seemingly floating through the mafia halls as though he wasn't quite there.
in truth, he wasn't.
a part of him died that day.
no one was surprised. they half expected him to follow after his lover, and while their assumptions were likely to happen, chuuya refused to give up.
he couldn't.
one day he would see his beloved brown haired, brown eyed darling again, but not yet.