Jeongin was already waiting outside your home when you got out. You knew, your parents also knew. He has been knocking at the front door and politely asking your parents to tell you to rush your morning routine for him.
Strawberry jam and bread crumbs stained the corners of your mouth as you held your small breakfast steadily between your teeth. Jeongin grabbed a hold of the top of your school bag and held it away from you so you could fix the back of your blazer easier. You were grunting at him the whole time, whining and complaining about his tendency to rush to school, while he tried to talk over you about arriving at classes on time.
"Don't 'ugh' me! How many times do I have to tell you half an hour is not sufficient enough to go from our home to the school?" Jeongin exclaimed after he let your school bag bounce against your back.
You sighed in irritation. It was seven-thirty in the morning and he already found something unnecessary to bother you about. Your eyes rolled up to make your frustration more visible as you took the bread between your fingers, then you took a big bite of it with a harsh pull of your hand. You spoke and chewed at the same time. "We are literally never late to school."
"Almost late. We are sometimes almost late. More times than needed, too!" He argued and came to a stop at the bus queue. "Being scared of arriving at school late is not the exciting experience you think it is."
"Again, we are never late to school," you retorted, your voice muffled by the food. "This route and timeline has been proven to work just fine so what's the fuss? We are not that far away from school, Jeongin."
How should he explain this? He already did, technically.
Although you two were, indeed, never late to school, Jeongin never liked the idea of being late. He didn't like the risk of having the school gate close at his face, and then him having to climb over it and sneak into school. The worst-case scenario would either be having to return home and explain what happened to his parents or being chased around the front field by the teacher in charge and then be sent home because of tardiness anyway.
He did not like the anxiousness of shifting his gaze between the road and the clock in his phone, tapping his feet and clicking his tongue as he waited for the bus to stop so he could run to school.
You seemed to have no problem with it, though, which was quite typical of you. Curse his inability to break a cycle, but your mothers' establishment of the tradition of two always going to school together was impossible to break through. If you two were going to the same destination, you two were going together; you would be told to take care of each other, to look after each other. Never leave each others' side and come home together.
"I'm full," you muttered suddenly, not letting Jeongin a chance to continue his nagging.
He looked down at the half-eaten bread in your hand and frowned, but without further questions, he took it from your hand and shoved the food inside his mouth. "Already?" The word was very muffled.
You shrugged. "I didn't feel like eating today. Maybe I will after the big thing I plan to do today."
"What big thing?"
"I am confessing to Hyunjin."
Jeongin expected he would choke on the food, but he was abnormally calm about your suggestion. If anything, he was more suspicious than shocked at your decision to go after Hyunjin once again after your failure to do so on the official Valentine's Day. He finished swallowing the bread, taking an awful lot of energy to gulp the dry food down his throat to mirror his uncertainty, then he grimaced.
"Why?" He asked. "You didn't have the guts to do before. What makes you think you can do it now?"
You scoffed in disbelief. His lack of emotional support was unwelcome and unexpected. "Well! I thought I could confess before spring break, then I have the whole holiday to recover from my rejection–"
"Oh, wait, hold on." He laughed under his breath as he held up his hands. When he looked at you, his brows were furrowed in permanent uncertainty, but his eyes flashed with a hint of mischievousness that you couldn't pinpoint if he agreed with your spontaneity or not. After clearing his throat, he teased, "So you already know you're going to be rejected?"
"That was what you have been telling me!" You exclaimed with mild anger as you punched his arm. When he dodged, you switched to stomp on his feet, making him groan. You scoffed as he slightly doubled over in pain, but not so much that he would garner attention from all the grumpy, non-morning people waiting in line. "All you do is tell me Hyunjin will reject me, so of course I expected that!"
You also agreed that Hyunjin was not so stupid as to accept somebody he has never talked to before. Your optimism regarding this romantic matter was stupid. Pretending like there was hope that Hyunjin would do anything other than turning you down kindly was stupid because the logical route has always been a big fat 'No!' for you. You knew that, you just didn't like to think about it much.
"I am not guilty for doing that," Jeongin said honestly after he composed himself again. "Someone has to tell you the truth."
"That should have been me," you said. "I know the truth."
"Well, you don't act like you do," he retorted quickly.
He knew to move away this time when you reached your feet over to his. You retreated last second, deciding you won't stomp on the poor and innocent ground to take out your anger against Jeongin. He kept his attention on you as you glared around the surrounding, looking as if you were angry that the bus still hasn't arrived yet when you were more annoyed about your high school love life.
Jeongin was equally as frustrated as you were, but ironically, he wasn't showing it. Once again, he has to hear about Hyunjin. Even after Valentine's Day, just when he thought he was finally rid of feeling defeated over his unfulfilling love and that he could stay that way for the last few days he has left to spend with you, this happened. It was discouraging to know that your thoughts lingered, that you were so desperate for someone else.
But he supposed you would need emotional support for this. You needed it last time—hell, you actively looked for it in him last time.
"When do you plan to confess, then?" He asked after taking a deep breath.
You shrugged. "After school, most likely. I can leave and swallow myself in my room, and I won't have to see him until spring break ends."
"A failure plan, that sounds good," Jeongin mused. "I thought we would go shopping together, but I am happy with loitering around in your room.
Gasping at the mention of mall activities, you clasped your hands together and beamed at him. You did some research after suggesting to him about spending time together yesterday, and while karaoke was unfortunately out of question because of monetary and location problems, shopping would do the bonding trick just as well. This was important to you; this concludes the last special activity you two would do that wasn't just lazing around in the house and nudging each other with your bare feet.
"Let's go shopping then! After I get rejected!" You exclaimed, suddenly grabbing onto his arms and shaking him.
Jeongin frowned at you. He tried to push you forward as you continue to ramble about your messy after-school plans because the bus has arrived, which you have yet to notice. Spilling words of agreement out of his mouth, he continued to nudge your forward the queue as people got on the bus one by one.
"You sound awfully hyper about being rejected."
"No, I sound awfully hyper about spending the day with you!" You corrected as you reached into your bag for some change to put in the coin box. "I mean–hold on..., hold this for me, Jeongin."
He took the wrinkled stacks of receipts you pulled from the front pocket of your school bag, and then your chapsticks, and a granola bar. The more useless things you take out just to count a few scattered changes in the pocket, the more his grimace deepened.
"You gotta keep your money in the wallet," he scolded gently as he reached out to stuff everything back into your school bag and zipped it up for you. "And keep your things neat and tidy, please."
"I do! Those are useless things that don't require any organization," you said innocently, sparing him a brief look before getting onto the bus. "Everything else is tidy in my bag."
"You have an overdue granola bar."
"I like to call it useless things that don't require any organization."
"Alright, whatever you say." Jeongin rolled his eyes, but he decided to stop arguing with you about it.
He contemplated if he wanted to ask—he did want to ask about your confession. How you planned to execute it, what you wanted to say. The last time you tried to pull something off the top of your head with absolutely no preparation, you ended up chickening out. He would consider his questions more out of courtesy and caution to your final execution rather than his nosiness, even though he knew well that he just wanted to know about your every little step.
But he kept his mouth shut at the end.
He figured there was no need to put more pressure on himself. If you told him your plan, he would start worrying and try to find flaws within them, even though what he ultimately wanted was for you to fail despite the ending being a guarantee. Or perhaps, not within his knowledge, he wanted to steer you away from putting too much effort. Perhaps he wanted to give you a leeway out by suggesting an unnoticeable bad plan so you wouldn't feel too bad about your performance afterward.
Either way, talking about it could help you somehow, which was what Jeongin has always made sure his decisions do. After all, it has always been just this: take care of each other, look after each other, and never—
Jeongin sighed defeatedly under his breath.
—never leave each others' side.