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I love you
words never became so meaningful when you said it for the first and last time.
for all my life i thought you hated me.
but it made me love you even more.
even though you were a walking headache that likes to insult me.
i still managed to like you back, i mean, what was not to like about you? haitani rindou?
is it your squishy cheeks? your soft hair? you droopy eyes? your sense of fashion? your smooth way of words? your mesmerizing tattoos? and nevermind about the way you pose like youre gonna bark at people.
nevetheless, i still like you, rindou, my silly little hot headed jellyfish.
it was fun while it lasted.
isnt the afterlife supposed to be with dead people or angels?
why....
wait....
HER eyes slowly fluttered open as if it hasnt been into use for awhile as a plain white wall was all she could see, gathering up enough energy her sight fixated on her surroundings now concluding she was fucking alive and in a hospital room... alone.
the four walled place was fully air conditioned and themed with just plain white like as expected, not a single person was in sight other than the large amount of gifts and flowers on the bed side table making her suprisingly soft lips creep up to a smile, noticing a big pink teddy bear with some balloons attached to it as it was from non other than sanzu, some from kakucho and other people she knew like junko.
a needle was placed on her arm as she carefully pricked it out, she didnt know why she was suddenly rushing but waking up from God knows how many days alone in a claustrophobic room was enough to already suffocate her. still on her hospital gown, she stretched gently, also noticing a small snowflake drawn on the side of her ring finger sparking her curiosity.
but she didnt mind anymore, already thought of leaving as she expected to see him. his face that she misses or even his curse words that she always found funny. it was somehow saddening how he didnt even bother staying but her sudden awakening was a shock herself, it seemed like everything was on her side especially when given a good amount of energy.
"im so damn slow." she mumbled, wearing some comfy sandals before exiting the room quietly, not even having enough stamina to fasten her pace as she was till weak, a good advantage of the night as only nurses roamed around but thinking that them finding her would slow her down so she hid most of herself on the empty hallways.
"i feel bad for the tall dude outside, isnt he cold from the snow?" her heart started racing when a nurse spoke, naomi hid at the wall a little far from their station as she was forced to eavesdrop on their conversation.
"dont you notice he's been like that for over a month now? poor guy always waits outside as if he didnt want to see the patient." another then spoke.
"too bad, he's kinda cute though. i've only seen him inside for like three times! and the rest he's just outside alone, probably waiting for the patient to be discharged or something." the female nurse sighed.
waiting for the coast to be clear was just as hard, the glass window from outside was just like the nurse described. the white crystals from above gradually fell from the moonlit sky, it made her smile as it was like the first time she ever saw such a nice and calming view over again.
"good, theyre away." she have herself a smile of victory as they eventually left, the dead hours of the night probably slowed down their work as not that many people were outside. the automatic glass doors opened before the girl, a huge breeze passing by already sent a refreshing chill down her spine as she went outside. not even bothering to dress up due to her desperation that she hoped wouldnt lead to dissapointment.
her eyes searched around the snowy white field, she never knew her feet brought her instead to its large space as the strees were now covered along with the ground that she stepped in, though among the cold atmosphere, she found herself a silhouette leaning against a tree carelessly with its head down as she went closer, a sudden familiar sensation whenever she caught sight of the individuals back that made her heart stop, already recognizing right away.
"rindou?" she whispered, placing her hand on the persons shoulder. it didnt even startle the man as he slowly turned around, a priceless reaction when she met eyes with his rather tired ones yet it was still the same shade of violet she remembered.
"youre cold, lets head inside first." she tugged on the sleeve of his oversized hoodie yet he stood starstruck like a mannequin, displaying a a stoic expression with a hint of shock.
it made her heart soften at his sight, his pink and dark blue hair was now faded and longer, still had his bangs yet she sensed the despair within his demeanor, the light on his eyes was gone and non other than the scenery they were in was placed along with her worried face. it saddened her to the fact that his appearance itself says a lot about what hes gone through.
"haitani rindou, i said lets go inside n ー" she turned his back on him about to tug him even more until his deep voice spoke making her froze on the spot as she never knew just by hearing him speak again will make her heart warmer even more.
"30 days." a deep husk was laced with sadness that anyone wouldve felt.
"what?"
"you were out for 30 fucking days!" she flinched at his sudden raise of voice, now turning around to see him drop on its knees, hitting the snowy ground as he was now below her making her panic grew.
her grip on his sweatshirt was replaced by his hands, staring intensely into hers while his warmth tightened around her still weak hand as he spoke once again, it was that kind of situation wherein she needed to atleast catch up and hear him out for the mean time.
"i couldnt stay inside... i'm sorry. i cant even look at you without feeling regretful about that day!" he ranted, now tugging onto her hospital gown as he buried his face onto his as the fabric slowly soaked the non stop tears he was shedding at the painful traumatizing memory.
"i shouldve been in your place! why would you even do that naomi?! you almost died because of me!" he added gripping onto the piece of clothing that shielded her from the cold, now leaning his head onto her waist as she still stood frozen.
but she quickly snapped out of her ongoing thoughts to deal with the one with her now, taking a deep breath as she kneeled infront of him also, their faces separated by a close distance as rindou could now feel his heart pounding at the female who was smiling before his eyes.a sight that he thought he wouldnt see anymore yet here she was now, acting like such an angel behind the cold weather as she spoke softly.
"i dont really think of my actions that much especially that day but even i did..." she trailed, cupping his tear stained cheeks. "i would still do the same."
"tch! youre such an idiot." he scoffed frowning making her giggle, now realizing that a newly awakened person was kneeling on a pile of snow it rang rindou's alarms as he sat her up immediately, brushing off some snow that got on her shoulder and hair.
finally being to calm down and settle his emotions, the two quietly sat down on a near bench, watching everything as if they were inside a slow globe itself. an eternal solace winter that was filled with non other than deep talks, mind in mind like the world was completely detached from them like how any meaningful conversation goes.
"he's fine now. all of them are worried about you." rindou spoke, his eyes not leaving the girl as he noticed the subtle changes her body and face exhibited.
her delicate face turned paler yet not a single day goes by wherein he didnt take care of the unconscious girl, it was always the little things but as time goes on appearance was on top, noticing that even if she was on the brink of death and now awake as ever, the male never felt so light in his life that the burden and guilt inside his chest quickly vanished just by her presence.
"fuck...im so sorry." he blurted out of the blue again, refusing to face her as he clenched his fist in anger that none of this couldve happened if she wasnt involved with them in the first place earning another slap of regret.
she sighed, the last she ever wanted was to see the sadness take over him, not bearing to watch any further as she knew he carried all the weight in the situation leading where he is now. though, it was her part ever since the beginning to make him feel like it wasnt his fault. none of this is since everything happens for a good reason and everything had its lessons. for sure even the readers already knew the main point of everything is.
"you know, before i opened my eyes, i met my mom..." she trailed, watching the white droplets land on her palm as she recieved it with a bittersweet smile. "my dad was there, even my second family that were killed, they didnt really say anything but... they were smiling and clouds were around them." she added, the male listening carefully.
"and my mom went up to me, gave me a smile before saying, choose where you'll be happy, naomi." the girl then faced rindou who had his eyes on her still with a stoic expression as she chuckled.
"so i went to you immediately." his mouth separated as she beamed with happiness.
the melancholic memory gave her heart mixed feelings as she imagined that not a single blood relative was no longer present. a part of her deep inside wanted to stay with the beloved parents yet also not wanting to leave without a proper life without... him.
"you mean that?"
"pft! of course i do im not a damn liar!" she scoffed crossing her arms as she watched him let out a small chuckle, a sound and sight that she missed witnessing as he was only vulnerable around her.
he brushed his hair back as his bangs were irritating his eyes yet before letting back his hand it was caught by the girl who now displayed a curious face, grabbing his left arm as her frail hand lifted it up for her to see an inked name on the side of his ring finger.
"is that my name..?" he snatched it back from the speechless from what she saw.
"what do you think dumbo?" rindou only raised his left ring finger, now making a clear view as she read her name that was most probably tattooed in italic letters with a small snowflake at the end. it was small but readable making her lost again about what to say because of being flustered.
"why the hell would you do that?! you know tattoos are permanent!"
"the fuck i'm not a child to not know that! do you know why its placed here anyway?" he then asked making her quiet for a minute but because of his impatientness, he grabbed her left hand as he placed it on her chest, directly at the heart to make her realize that it was far more closer to it than she imagined.
"tsk! did you tattoo me while i was out?" she then caught sight of the small snowflake on the same spot as rindou's yet without a name. not really sure if it was permanent but already doubted since he wouldt do that without her permission.
"no, i just drew that so we could....match." he then looked away frowning as it was her turn to giggle at his cuteness.
the snowflake was the exact meaning of today as it represented the first time he ever placed a sweet kiss, the first time they ever had a decent talk and the first time she awakes by a good miracle. not even bothering to ask the meaning of it anymore as it was just as treasurable than any diamond could offer. the best memories were in fact shared by the most unplanned and unexpected ones.
"then why didnt you write your name too?"
"maybe you changed your mind or something i dont fucking know since the damn doctor said you could have a hard time remembering some things because of your head injury!" he then clicked his tongue, glancing at the girl who gave him an eyesmile before she spoke again.
"i want your name here too so we could be matching to the highest level!" she exclaimed like a kid, expecting a cute reaction but got a rather serious rindou even more making her stop her childishness in embarassment.
"what about matching surnames then?"
it made the girl froze on the spot at this smooth way of words just like she mentioned earlier,her cheeks tinted a light red before he smirked in satisfaction as it has been a while since she looked like a tomato thanks to him.
"fine if thats what you want, though i cant guarantee the pain level since its a needle and--" rindou stopped as a small snowball hit his cheek making him pause and glare at the girl who returned the favor.
"tsk, i've been shot and hit in the head and you expect me to get hurt by a needle?!" she crossed her arms while the male slightly flinched at the triggering words that she later on regretted.
it made her suck the insides of her cheek at her recklessness as she tried panicked at the male who gave her a good time of silent treatment. though the fact that he must have been sleep deprived from overthinking and worrying about her everyday made her guilt rise as she tried to find the right words to say but gave up eventually when his veiny hand wrapped around hers.
"hey," he started, his deep voice a lot firmer to show his sincerity as he continued once more.
"lets be permanent together."
she was lost when he leaned in closer making her pound even faster, the effect had been the same like a few years ago. the same effect that swayed her into like a magnet as she was brought to him with her full decision.
"whaー" it was rather confusing sentence, could be double meaning to which she was too slow to understand because of her condition, not until he spoke again but this time his lips did the work as it softly continued with them colliding.
its still the same...
it always been the same....
just like snow, it was the epitome of the intimacy they shared for the first time in a while as she quickly melted inside his warmth in an instant. sweet just like candy and addicting just like haruchiyo's drugs, his lips that tasted like heaven and hell was a fair mixture of those two things that would make you want to crave more.
"you can fuck me up.... just stay with me forever, please." he whispered as his breath hit her glossy lips, the sound of their hearts rapidly beating in their own way interwined beautifully like a lovely song among the chill of the winter.
"of course!" she smiled, backing away as she held her pinky in between but later on pouting when he suddenly slapped it off like a picky child.
"i dont want that damn pinky promise! you already did that with the junkie!" he complained crossing his arms as she could picture the visible irk mark on his cheek, a few seconds to let her think before a light bulb lit on top of her head, this time lifting up her left ring finger that showed the mini snowflake on the side as rindou did the same.
"this is a ring promise, i promise to stay with haitani rindou and only him, for better or for worst, and to always have him at my heart, permanently." they stuck up their ring finger, both hugging each other as the male laughed at the childish but meaningful way of keeping a strong word that he most likely will hold on for the rest of his life.
"then i promise to always take this pretty idiot who always believed in me, be in my heart, permanently." he then spoke, thei cheeks blushing in a darker read as they both chuckled, staring at their interwined ring fingers before the male took action once again and wrapped his whole arms around her.
back then i always dreamed of dominating the world with my bare hands,
i imagined bloodshed would stain my palms forever along with the picture of death awaiting for me,
but i never knew the world could be this small.
in fact i managed to hold it inside my chest.
i never knew my dream changed,
yeah, i think i couldnt dominate the world but i think it dominated me,
with just one smile,
with just a soft kiss,
with just a cute giggle.
i prefer this world than what i had when life was full with non other than fighting,
this time,
i was fighting for her
and i like it better than anything else because i finally found someone worth breaking a bone for,
and its inside my arms,
yeah, she's inside my arms
i got the world i finally dreamed of, and i dont ask for much anymore.
because she's now with me,
permanently
my pretty idiot, my darling naomi.
and thats enough for me
because she finally chose me