Old knives opened new wounds.
Friends. Best friends are what they used to be. How could he give up on it so easily? It didn't make sense. It was natural to be distant from him now, they met after years. But Louis thought it impossible to forget someone you spent the life enjoying the most. Harry didn't really avoid Louis anymore, after that hill incident a few days ago, but it was still not like they were best of friends, or friends even. Louis didn't find it annoying or maddening anymore, it just roused his curiosity. There had to be a reason to do what he does, wouldn't there? Harry had the most unique poise Louis had ever seen. It could do draw the undivided attention of absolutely anyone.
Louis didn't recognize him as the one he used to be friends with. It wasn't him at all. It felt it was a completely different person with just the same name as Harry's. Can one person be so different? He felt really obliged towards Harry and usually found it slightly odd that the others weren't as intrigued by him as he was. Harry had the ability to take the right step at most times. His posture and presence in themselves were very calming and soothing. Harry was the person you could never grow tired of.
"What are you thinking about?" Niall asked. Like many days Harry was in his room to meet Niall.
"Nothing, you know I keep thinking, to keep myself occupied." Louis tried to seem wise.
"I think the majority of our problems wouldn't exist if we couldn't think," Harry piped in quietly.
Niall threw him a weird glance, "You can stop with your philosophy shit," he said.
"Kinda rude to be fair," Louis sided with Harry.
"To be fair," Harry repeated, nodding his head. Niall knowingly glanced at Harry. Harry probably understood the signal and rolled his eyes.
"Fine, be against me," Niall said, got up, and went to his desk in a spilt of a second.
Louis registered the sudden movement, "You're literally being childish," Harry murmured.
"And?" Niall interjected.
"Nothing, do your deed, good to see you actually working after so many days." Louis raised his eyebrows.
"Y'all rude as fuck," Niall sighed dramatically.
What Niall said, he actually meant it. He just went to his desk and started working, not attending to the two at all. Louis sighed at this.
"Don't you wanna go?" Niall asked without looking at either of them. But it was surely for Harry.
"You're being rude again, James," Louis said.
"I don't remember telling you my middle name," Niall said suspiciously.
"Of course you don't" Louis huffed.
And they continued bickering, Harry watching them with a groan.
"Fine, I'll be off, you both continue," Harry got up, they both stopped abruptly, "Bye Niall. Bye L" Harry bade his goodbye to each other.
'L'? Harry had called him that once. No one had called him 'L' as a nickname. Louis thought it was sweet.
"Bye H," Louis smiled. Harry smiled back.
"Stop looking at him like that, Louis," Niall interjected again.
"The fuck?" Louis broke his gaze from Harry and turned it to Niall instead. Can't he even look at someone now? Niall laughed.
Harry smiled quietly once more and walked out with his face hung low. Louis watched him leave, with Niall's eyes on him.
Louis saw Harry erase his traces from the room as he finally closed the door.
"Why are you like this," Louis pointedly asked Niall.
"You two were doing gay shit," Niall said slyly. Louis literally had no clue what he was talking about. He'd argue if he knew where this came from, but he seriously didn't know what or who Niall was referring to.
"That's very homophobic of you," Louis crossed his arms, "And factually incorrect," Niall's alright, but he can be irritating when he wants to, without any reason, without any base.
"I'm sorry, ok?" Niall said, he really did look sorry, "But are you gay?" he asked in innocent curiosity.
"No," Louis said.
"I thought s-" Niall began but,
"I'm bisexual," Louis interjected him.
"OH!" Niall completely turned in his seat, looking hopeful, "That means you actually like Harry?" he asked directly staring at him.
"I never said that, I just wish to bring back a lost friend." Louis turned away from his accusatory gaze.
"Well then, whatever, I guess," Niall said.
Louis turned back. He had actually opened up in front of Niall. But he trusted him. He still didn't feel very comfortable about releasing it to the world. Niall didn't portray any shock or confusion or any such emotions, he just stayed normal which was the best form of expectance in Louis' opinion.
He felt several things at the moment, none of them very sensible, and again he had a way to get them off his chest. Niall was still staring at his face.
"I'm going out," Louis said far what felt the hundredth time. And again, Niall ignored him. It was habitual.
So again, Louis stepped out into a new environment.
He did realize he had been going out a lot lately. Not that he was bothered, he was keeping up well. He never really realized how much he enjoyed being out until he came out for college. Harry used to tell him that when they were younger he stayed out too much, but he didn't believe him until now. Harry was always the one who preferred staying in or relaxing.
He came out today, in a partial wish to meet Harry. He hadn't really done anything, except being constantly rude and indifferent to him. He hadn't talked to him properly since they he first met. Not that Harry seemed bothered but he should not be so ungrateful. He should thank Harry from saving him from the Tyler guy.
Soon he caught him up.
"Hey H," he greeted, appearing on Harry's side from behind him.
"Oh, hi," Harry shook violently at the sudden appearance of Louis, nevertheless, wished back, after relaxing his senses again.
He didn't really know what to say. He didn't know what to do with Harry anymore to be honest.
"So did you want anything specific as you've approached me?" Harry asked, slightly turning his head in Louis' direction. With Louis' prolonged silence.
"I just wanted to apologize and thank you for saving me from that Tyler guy," Louis said, looking up again.
"Oh yeah, he's been bothering me a lot lately." Harry laughed in his deep voice. Another pang in Louis's chest.
"What did he want?" Louis asked. This was an incredibly stupid question.
"Oh, the usual things, me," Harry said.
"No surprise," Louis said. Another inappropriate comment.
He doesn't understand how he has friends.
Harry licked his lips, "Thanks" he said smugly. Louis blushed even more at his stupidity.
Now both were quietened again.
"Did you ever miss me?" Harry asked, looking straight forward.
Louis looked at him again, "All the time," Louis lied, he sure did use to miss him, but that was when he was younger, "Did you?" Louis asked expectantly. He had to be selfish to expect something that he couldn't replicate, yet, here he was.
"You are my memory," Harry said vaguely.
"What do you mean?" Louis inquired.
"I mean, I've always cherished you in my memory based on our past, I never really thought what you would be now, what would we be now" Harry explained.
"Meaning, you think of what we used to do and not what we might do?" Louis put the pieces together.
"Yes," Harry confirmed, "Past can be hurtful only if you let it crawl into your present," Harry added.
"Hmmm," Louis said, although he had quite stopped understanding what he had to say, still, he felt wholly touched.
He looked ahead, none of them speaking anything for a while. Both stared ahead of them, not looking at each other. Louis had just come to thank him and stuff, but suddenly everything turned into a deep talk. This wasn't his area of expertise so he didn't know what to do honestly.
They both stayed quiet for the longest time. It wasn't uncomfortable, it was just there. Well it wasn't uncomfortable for him, he didn't know about Harry, but he guessed he felt the same too, because he had never really seen him portray a huge range of emotions or giving a care about anything, as far as he had 'known' him.
So he stared ahead. Walking aimlessly beside Harry, their arms brushing innocently against each other a few times. He wanted to release a long breath, but he thought that it might trigger a conversation again. It did not make any sense. So he managed with breathing at a normal rate and staring straight ahead of himself, watching a couple reading side by side with books on their laps. He spared a glance at Harry, who has looking at them too. He was about to clear his throat to signify his wish in ending the silence which had now started to get a bit uncomfortable, since Harry wouldn't. But,
Louis saw Zayn approaching from a distance, along with Liam.
"My lads," Louis spoke as a form of greeting.
"Hey," Zayn and Liam greeted together.
"What have you been up to?" Louis asked matter-of-factly.
"Nothing, just bitching about everyone in the college," Zayn responded.
"Marvelous," Louis approved.
"Wanna get some ice cream outside?" Zayn offered.
Louis thought about the sudden offer. It was fairly warm and an ice cream wouldn't hurt. And with the three of them, it would be better. The ice cream parlor wasn't far away from where they stood and it had all of Louis' favorite flavors, as he had discovered as he went there with Harry the last time. Louis could find no reason to deny the now very appealing offer.
"I see no reason to deny," Liam said. Others approved with a shrug, except Harry.
"Up for it, H?" Louis had somehow decided that he'll call Harry 'H' from now on.
"Fine, I guess," Harry finally paved in.
This being agreed upon, the four walked towards the destination Louis had already known about. He thought that he should get a treat, and an ice cream with friends on a hot day was heaven on earth. It was a few minute's walk, Louis leading the way enthusiastically, others following him with an enthusiasm level not quite matched with his.
Louis kept glancing back, making sure that everyone kept following him and he wasn't walking alone.
Soon enough, they were standing at the door of the ice cream parlor.
"What flavors do you want?" Louis asked. He had an impression about himself that he could tell the personality of people based on the flavor of ice cream they chose.
"Chocolate," Zayn said.
"Kid," Louis said, remembering his order. Zayn scowled.
"Vanilla," Liam said
"Describes your personality in one word," Louis said ruthlessly.
"I will have to contradict you on that," Liam murmured.
"Later, what about you H?" Louis turned to Harry, looking at him expectantly.
"Mango?" Harry said uncertainly.
"Perfect," Louis commented. He had got the same flavor the last time too. Harry smiled.
"What about you, hun?" Zayn asked smugly.
"Mint chocolate chip ice cream," Louis said airily.
"I have no words" Zayn shook his head.
The four sat down waiting for their ice creams to arrive. The sun was consistently growing hotter, thriving, making them wish for their ice creams more. All of them had ordered cones, which Louis passed as the most elite choice.
They chatted easily. Louis looked at Zayn, he knew him quite well already so he wasn't surprised at his manner. He looked at Liam, analyzing his kind and enthusiastic face. He looked at Harry, at his effortless demeanor, the way his hands and lips moved when he talked, and how his eyes glinted easily under the sun, how his dimples cracked when he smiled, and how patiently listened to everyone. An admirable personality.
In the meanwhile, no one remembered they had missed one of the people of their club. Except for Louis, who chose to speak about it. Because without him, an undeniable voice was missing.
"Don't you think you all forgot Niall?" Louis interrupted their playful bicker, "He'd love some ice cream," he pondered.
"Oh, he has enough of ice cream," Harry waved his hand.
"Yeah, but not with us," Louis leaned in.
"Are you going to walk all the way back to the room and call him?" Zayn reasoned.
"No I'll take some for him," Louis said.
'I'd be surprised if it didn't melt by then," Liam rolled his eyes.
"Same here," Louis sighed, "Considering how hot I already am" he winked. Everyone laughed, scoffed more like.
Their ice creams arrived a few minutes later and they all dived in immediately.
There was never anything so special about ice creams, but good company made even worst time better. They all still continued talking, with licks of ice cream in between. At this moment Louis remembered Niall, who would obnoxiously lick his ice cream, unlike his best friend, Harry.
The sun, instead of going down, kept going up. Which was quite unbearable by now. Louis planned on going back. Just a few bites of his and everyone's cones were left, then he'd take Niall's ice cream and be off.
They talked about their past experiences, as they still didn't have much built on the present. Harry had started to tell a tale from when he was younger at his obnoxiously slow pace of speech, unconsciously moving his hands. Louis heard him like he already didn't know the tale.
"H, there's something on your chin," Louis pointed out midway his tale. Harry stopped abruptly.
"Where?" Harry frowned, hazily looking at Louis.
"Over there," Louis said, pointing at the same spot on his chin. Harry still didn't reach there.
"No, over there," Louis said, pointing at Harry now instead. Zayn and Liam watched them with interest as they stole the spotlight.
"Wait," Louis said, getting up slightly oh his seat and leaning closer and closer to Harry's face. Louis held Harry's jaw and rubbed his chin with his thumb softly.
"Much better," Louis whispered and sat back, his eyes still locked at Harry. Harry's cheek had flushed violently red and maybe because of that Louis' cheeks flushed a bit.
The other two gaped at them open-mouthed.
"What the fuck was that," Liam said.
"Probably ice cream," Louis said licking his finger off, annoying Liam.
Harry and Louis stayed mostly quiet after that.
After what felt like ages, they all decided to head back. They had eaten to the remains and there was nothing left. Louis had packed some ice cream for Niall. He had asked Harry what flavor he would like and Harry had said strawberry. 1.5/10.
They all walked back together as they had walked till here. The sun had finally started to withdraw its agony from the earth, they walked with more ease, continuing their never-ending chat.
On the campus, they all exchanged their goodbyes and set off for their rooms. Louis in one direction, Liam in the other, and Harry and Zayn somewhere else.
Louis reached for his room alone, still thinking about today's event.
He quickly reached his room, the white packet of ice cream swaying in his hands. He would bet it would have gotten all mushy by now. Not that he minded, strawberry ice cream deserved no pity. He shook his head and knocked on the door.
Niall quickly opened it and Louis walked in instantly going and sitting himself down on the bed with a sigh. He was still sweating a bit from all the heat outside. But it was better now. Niall was looking at him with a confused yet expectant expression, if that was possible. He looked around for a bit, unnecessarily passing time, before turning his eyes back to Niall.
"This is for you, James" Louis immediately threw the pack of ice cream he had brought for Niall.
Niall first picked it up with a confused look to examine and gasped when he realized. Louis smirked at him.
"How fucking dare you go get ice cream without me?" Niall exclaimed dramatically.
'It wasn't just me, it was Liam, Zayn, and also Harry," Louis added the last, probably working like salt on Niall's wounds.
"Traitor," Niall said, already starting on the ice cream, "Now I understand why Harry kept texting 'busy'" Niall added a bit concerned, licking the ice cream the same way Louis had imagined. Louis smiled and sighed.
Louis left him to enjoy his weird taste on ice cream as he sat down to concentrate on his work, which he found slightly difficult, as his mind was going to several places.