⏤ 𝘥𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘺𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘴
𝐊𝐚𝐳 𝐁𝐫𝐞𝐤𝐤𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐝𝐦𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐚, from afar, work on her ribs. She had moved to the side of the barn, for although they had seen her abilities work wondrously, Dara still felt somewhat conscious about them.
It was also due to a fear of being seen and risking the life she had now. Kaz figured that part of her mind quicker than most. She fears not living the life she at least deserves in the most sense.
One thing Kaz Brekker will never admit is the way his cheeks flustered when he caught a glimpse of the Wonderer with only her top undergarments since she had removed the vest with her white button-up to simply a covering of her chest.
But, the cheeks of red had gone when he saw her torso splashed in the color of purple with blue, his hand clenching to a grip of anger, wanting nothing more than to rip out every limb of General Kirigan.
Nevertheless, with her abilities, the side of her torso rose back to its pale color, as if the purple had never even made a scratch onto her body. But, Kaz did learn another interesting discovery.
She has freckles on her body.
⏤ " 𝘯𝘰 𝘮𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘴, 𝘯𝘰 𝘧𝘶𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘭𝘴 " ⏤
As night came, Kaz sat in his same spot, waiting for the Wraith to emerge and say she is leaving. Kaz did have a soft spot for his Crows, for three people in his life that have done nothing but stood by his side.
He never thought he would lose one.
"Are you hungry," Kaz stares at the cooked rabbit in front of him, "Or just saying goodbye?"
Inej takes a deep breath, Kaz making sure to keep up his wall for although he hates losing people...he cannot show emotion for anything.
That is why you lose people.
Shut up.
Inej shifts, handing Kaz his cane, "Jesper and Dara fixed your cane."
Kaz looks to his cane, grabbing it from her as a sense of familiarity causes his tense shoulder's to soften just slightly. His hand goes to the crow head, holding it with such tension, "so, you are leaving?"
"That's it? After everything, there's nothing else you want to say to me?"
Kaz doesn't know what to say. He knows he wants her to stay, but doesn't know what words to express.
Dara will end me if I let her leave.
"What else is there?"
Nice move, Kaz, really selling it here.
Inej scoffs, walking off as Kaz cringes slightly, groaning softly, "you were right!"
"About what?" Inej turns around, giving him a glare.
Kaz looks to his cane, "the Sun Summoner. You were right. She's real."
Inej takes soft steps to sit next to Kaz, "I played it over and over in my head. None of it's a trick. The light was hers. Could not rule out the fact that Dara can twist reality to her simple thoughts."
"Clearly forgot that aspect," Inej states, "so, what? Kaz Brekker finally believes in Saints?"
"Hardly." He scoffs.
"But you just said that⏤"
"I said Alina Starkov is a Grisha with the power to manipulate light. Just how the General can manipulate shadow, and Dara can manipulate reality. They are Grisha's with gifts, not some savior of the lore."
"And yet, Dara has saved you from danger for four years," Inej bites in, Kaz swallowing as he sits up.
Inej sighs deeply, "fine. Kaz, if not Saints, what do you believe in?"
"Myself."
Inej rolls her eyes, "why do I even ask⏤"
"And you." Kaz swallows. "And Jesper..."
"And?" Inej pressures in, trying to make him realize who he is about to lose. Not her. Not Jesper. With their secrets piling up...he'll lose her.
"And Dara Leovolt, my Wonderer," he mutters that last part, "my Crows."
"Because we flock to your bidding? Like the animals of vengeance, you named us after?"
Kaz thinks of the three of them, the way Inej puts herself at risk for getting the information they need, the way Jesper lights up the room with his horrible humor...the way a certain Wonderer had made sure he remains breathing for his years to come.
The way she brings him strawberry cremes.
The way she hides his bare hands in the presence of others.
The way she has forgiven him although he knows he does not deserve it for anything.
"Crows don't just remember the faces of people who wronged them. They also remember those who were kind. They tell each other who to look after and who to watch out for. No Saint ever watched over me like you all have."
Kaz cannot believe the words spilling from his mouth, slightly thankful for it was too Inej, but beating himself to the punch that he fears saying these things to Dara.
He knows it is what is needed to keep their relationship intact, but he fears messing up, he fears committing⏤ he fears being the reason she will perish.
When Inej had come to work for the Crows, after a year, Kaz and her had gotten somewhat closer for their joint task in figuring out what Dara was exactly.
Where she had come from.
Inej, after finding out what Dara had slightly gone through due to the facts she was presented with, felt a heavy amount of pain and when to seek the Wonderer with comfort.
They spoke for hours.
And that is how their late night talks began.
After Inej found out what Dara's father had done to her. They share the same pain. A life of laughter, followed by a life of pain.
Kaz had asked Inej what their discussions were about, and from the beginning Kaz knew Inej would never tell him everything...and later on, told him nothing. Inej promised to tell him any detail that lead to her parents, but nothing so far.
Kaz knows Inej is racked with a guilt that is heaving her feather-like form down, but Kaz wants to know why her father did all those things just as Dara does.
But, he wants to end his life more than anything. Just as he had his greed directed to Pekka Rollins, Dalton Leovolt has also made that list...and Kaz, at first, hated it.
Hated the moment he found out the Wonderer meant more to him than just a colleague, just a friend, he has feelings for her, he wants to keep her safe, that is why he starts to stand in front of her, that is why he risks his mental sanity for one second of touch with her to keep her out of harm's way.
He loves her, and he fears being the reason she won't get to live long enough for him to tell her.
"Kaz," Inej snaps him from his thoughts, "first, I can't go back to the Menagerie if I stay..."
Kaz nods, "you aren't going back. Dara won't let that happen...not with her anger."
Inej softly smiles at the girl, before her face turns serious, "and we have to tell Dara."
Kaz snaps his head to the Wraith, "about?"
"Her mother and father. What we have found. You left the file there for her to find years ago and kept what you actually found hidden from her sight. I can't keep lying to her. I can't. You hired me for this reason, you didn't go to Jesper because you knew he would spill. If you don't say anything I will have to. I can't lie to her anymore."
Kaz swallows, looking to his pocket as he pulls out the crow feather, clenching it as he sighs, "when we get back."
Inej nods, "Then I'll stay."
Kaz nods, "Good. We need our Wraith. For heists...and because you are family. We all are."
And with a ripped heart, Jesper leaves the scene, going straight to the barn where Dara lies in her sleep.
⏤ " 𝘯𝘰 𝘮𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘴, 𝘯𝘰 𝘧𝘶𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘭𝘴 " ⏤
The four Dregs lay, stomach ground, near a wagon as cover scoping out the metal cart they came in through the Fold. Two soldiers hold their guns to the cart, approaching the metal box slowly.
"How many are there?" Inej asks.
"Two." Kaz answers. "At some point, one of them will have to go tell a superior what they found. We'll go in then."
"Or," Dara tilts her head, Kaz looking to her, "I can knock them both out and we can go now!"
"Uh, no. We need you a full capacity just in case things they hectic once again," Jesper replies.
"He's right." Kaz locks eyes with her. "We need to make sure you don't use any energy until on the cart."
Dara rolls her eyes, "you are both boring."
"You know I am anything but," Kaz states, Dara grinning softly as she nods in acceptance. Kaz feels his chest soften at her smile, but he keeps his stone face in check.
Jesper clears his throat, "not to be that person, Kaz, but you sure you can drive that thing?"
"Yes." Kaz says immediately, feeling somewhat ticked about the fact that Jesper has underestimated his capabilities. "On the way to Kribirsk, while you were busy hugging bait⏤"
"Milo! The goat's name was Milo." Jesper shots back.
Kaz rolls his eyes, Dara slightly bumping him as he looks to her, him giving her a slight glare as he takes a deep breath.
"While you were busy hugging Milo, I was memorizing Arken's timings."
Inej shifts, "not to gang up on you," she starts, "but Jes has a point. Arken's system was complicated and the ride was chaotic. No one would Balme you for missing a count."
"I would." Dara states, the three looking to her as she slightly flinches at their reactions. "What? I have seen Kaz threatened children before and that takes more guts that most."
"Who's side are you on?" Kaz questions, Dara giving him her cheeky smile.
"Yours, of course! Who else?" Dara blows him a kiss as Kaz rolls his eyes, trying to hide the grin once again as he looks to Inej with another skeptical face.
"Jes?"
"Oh, stop judging," Dara groans.
Kaz itching to shut her up, "will you stop interrupting me?"
"Will you get your head out of your ass? Inej is making a point to put her life in your hands, and you get a nickname from that sentence."
"It was just barbaric. That is all."
"Then why point it out?"
"Dara."
"Kaz."
Inej and Jesper glance to each other, grinning as they wink at mother and father fighting in the background until Kaz sighs, accepting his defeat⏤ the only defeat he will ever accept is with Dara...and the fact that they could not get to the Sun Summoner.
"Trust me. Arken and I think alike."
Kaz's small glimpse of hope is ruing when they all watch the cart blow up. All shoulder's slumping when they realize they have no way back.
Dara raises her finger, but Kaz beats her to it, "if you say you can recreate it, I will put you at the bar for a week when we get back."
Dara slumps, sticking her tongue out to Kaz as he rolls his eyes, "you are a child."
"And you are an old man who is a prick," she mutters.
⏤ " 𝘯𝘰 𝘮𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘴, 𝘯𝘰 𝘧𝘶𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘭𝘴 " ⏤
The Dregs found themselves in an empty restaurant, paying the owner with the last of their coin for sanctuary at the moment. Inej takes her scarf off after going for some intel, Jesper keeping his eyes to the window as Dara stays near Kaz.
Where he likes her.
Of course, she could be anywhere, but he feels most comfort in unknown places with her aura being felt by him.
"The skiff is still here." Inej informs them all. "Travelers downstairs are complaining. They were due to cross this morning."
"Order from the Black General. He plans to cross tomorrow," Kaz states.
Jesper furrowing his brows, "The general? Is that the same general who tried to...Oh, yeah, kill us all. That one?"
Dara rolls her eyes, throwing a pen straight to his head as Jesper rubs his now abused forehead, sticking his tongue out to Dara as Dara does the same.
I swear I am surrounded by children.
With hesitation, Kaz replies, "he has the Sun Summoner."
He feels the tension...but not with Dara. He looks to her, finding her completely in faith with him, with his intention. He knows Jesper and Inej suspect his ambitions, his goal with this skiff, but Dara stays with him, she nods to him, and for that, he couldn't be any more grateful.
"Was this your plan all along? To have the general get her back so you can take her again?" Inej questions.
Dara steps, "Inej⏤"
"It's alright." Kaz speaks, he looks to Inej. "My plan is to get us across the Fold. We aren't prepared for another fight."
"So you are not going to take another run at Alina? And you're really willing to let a million kruge go?"
"Inej." Dara states. "Has he given you a reason to doubt him?"
"With is words," Inej comes clean.
"But with his actions? You and I both know, his actions speak differently with his words."
Kaz looks to the two, feeling soft for the Wonderer, but suspicious for Inej's sudden burst to backfire anything he says. Yet, he knows the Wraith has every right to be on edge when it came to his brain and what lies within.
"Only when you influence them," Inej states, Dara, looking to Kaz as she nods to him, Kaz nodding back to her.
"We can't do it without you."
Dara and Jesper widen their eyes, pointing to each other, "isn't that what we have been saying since day one?" Dara states.
"I believe so, Miss Leovolt," Jesper concludes as Inej smiles softly to them, Kaz cringing in his head, but knows he has to admit defeat with this one.
"And you have made your position perfectly clear," Kaz continues.
"So all you want is to cross the Fold?" Inej inquires once more.
Kaz takes a deep breath, his worries suddenly leaving as he glances to his side, finding Dara's fingers moving so softly. She's calming him. She knows I hate confrontation.
"Once we land in Novokribirsk, it's your choice what you do next."
Inej glances to Dara, her nodding as Inej nods, "okay."
Kaz gets up, Jesper placing his hand out, "hold on. Are we talking about boarding a skiff with people who will recognize us? People who don't like us much."
"We'll have to blend in. Who else was on that skiff?"
Inej tilts her head, "some people from the winter fete. Dignitaries from Kerch and Novyi Zem on their way back home."
Kaz thinks, his brain connecting, but, for once, not fast enough for⏤ "they are going to be an audience for one more light show." Dara states, Kaz looking to her. "We could blend in as them. Jesper, although your role as a Yemeni guard was atrocious, we need those horrible acting skills once more."
Dara smiles, Jesper scoffing as he makes his rebuttal of a claim, but Kaz can only look to Dara, finally, it all clicking that she can take care of herself.
She can be independent and no longer needs Kaz.
And although that should scare him, it doesn't, for maybe he can be honest and not lose her to death just as he lost Jordie.
They both can take of themselves, but need the other to function. Kaz, when going back home, is going, to be honest about his findings...and maybe...with a bit of luck⏤ and hope, his feelings.
I didn't edit this...but I wanted to publish...soooo
[update: i did, end up, editing this chapter]
[update update: I have quizzes in all my classes today]
teehee
thank you
-alex