When I return to San's and my flat in the evening, the very first thing I can hear is San singing in his room. I freeze on the doormat.
It sounds like he's really practicing, not just singing absentmindedly. His voice sounds clear and focused and warm – he's making the lyrics come to life just like that.
"... is anyone out there? Deullishinayo..." He goes over to humming, accompanied by the chords he plays on keyboard. "... deullishina-" The new harmony that he strikes sounds dissonant and makes him curse loudly. "Why the fuck is this so hard?!"
A long sigh follows – then San starts again, from is anyone out there? on.
I'm beginning to feel like a stalker like this, just standing in the doorway and listening to him practice – so I finally step inside our flat and pull the door shut behind me.
San immediately falls silent in his room.
Heart hammering in my throat, I stare at his bedroom door and wait for him to come out.
More silence.
I slip out of my shoes, place them under the jackets' rack, and wait.
Nothing.
And then San goes back to singing. He's sounding slightly tense now, but once again he starts from is anyone out there? before going over the following chords slowly, all the keys sounding about right and harmonic this time.
Maybe this is for the better. I swallow as I make my way through the kitchen to my own room. I definitely need to talk to Jimin before I can, hopefully, ask San out. But... I really wanted to see San now, as selfish as that might be. I just wanted to see him again.
My alarm clock rings earlier than usual, and I'm about to put it on snooze to sleep just a little bit longer – I'm still tired, for fuck's sake – when I remember the reason why I need to get up half an hour earlier than usual: Jimin. And after the talk with him, I've got the Theater of the Body-seminar. Fucking great.
San is nowhere to be seen when I make my way out of my room and into the kitchen for a quick breakfast. He's probably still sleeping, since today is one of the days where he's got late classes, his first class starting at twelve... Or he's avoiding me like he did yesterday. I don't know what I should do if he continues this. I'd thought he would... I don't know, maybe approach me to ask why I left? But then again, I'd also thought that he was the one texting me Saturday morning while I was on the train to Busan, and clearly, he hadn't done that either.
I consider knocking at San's door to... maybe wish him a Good Morning? But then I decide against it. It would be unfair to expect a reaction from him, especially since I'm not able to tell him anything concrete at the moment. - God, I can't wait for lunch break, when Seonghwa and Hongjoong are gonna break the news to him and Jongho. Maybe I could snatch him away after that, to talk for a little bit? The thought of how I'll tell San that I like him make my insides queasy with anticipation and nerves.
But first, I need to get going to meet up with Jimin. I'm already a bit late.
Before I leave our flat to head downstairs though, I write a quick note for San that says See you at uni? and that I put in front of his bedroom door. I really can't wait to see him.
And I really hope that, somehow, miraculously, my talk with Jimin will go well.
Jimin is already waiting in front of his own flat when I get downstairs.
"Hi." I run a hand through my hair and throw him a smile. I'm starting to feel a bit nervous.
"Hey." Jimin nods faintly, but continues to stare down at the floor. Shit – that's not a good sign.
"Should we... Should we get going?", I suggest. Jimin gives another nod, so I start by leading the way outside and towards the main street.
Why is he being so silent? What has happened? Has he found out about San and me kissing at that party? Why doesn't he say anything?
If he does bring that party up – what am I gonna say? Think, Wooyoung.
Wait. He can't know that San and I have kissed and made out. There's no way he can know that, since we didn't do it in public. We kissed in that storage room in the basement, and then kissed and made out in our own flat- Did we close the curtains?
Shit, what if we didn't? Anyone could've seen us-
No. Calm down, Wooyoung. The only way someone could've seen us is if they would've taken a ladder outside and climbed up on it in front of our kitchen window. And that only in case we indeed forgot to close those damn curtains.
Okay. So there's no way he can know about San and me, right? No way.
What is it then?
I cast a careful sideways glance at Jimin. He's still staring down at his feet, so intensely as if he's completely immersed in counting his steps.
He could've heard that San has claimed to have hooked up with me at that game of Spin the Bottle. If that's the case, then all I have to do is tell him that San was lying- no, shit, I can't. Telling Jimin that San was lying would mean exposing San – and I won't do that, no matter what.
So... should I just let him believe that I did hook up with San- Wait. San never said when it was that we allegedly hooked up. I can just tell Jimin that it was some time during the semester holidays or whatever. Problem solved. Except for...
What if Jimin asks what San and I have been doing after San pulled me out of that room? Juhee or whoever might have told him about how we left that stupid game of Spin the Bottle. Can I just say that we had a little argument about why San has told the alleged truth about our summer-fling-
"Yoongi confessed to me."
What?
Jimin gulps, finally lifting his gaze from the floor as we take a left onto the small pathway to uni. "He's told me that he likes me. That he's fallen in love with me."
"Who is Yoongi?"
Jimin snorts. "One of my friends. You met him on Friday, Wooyoung."
I squint my eyes, trying to go through all the names of Jimin's friends in my head. There was Taehyung, the loud one with the toothy grin. Jungkook who barely said a word to me except for asking for the soy sauce. Seokjin, the guy with the worst word puns I've ever heard. And three other guys... One of them kept on dancing the most ridiculous dance moves – I think his name was Hoseok. And a Namjoon was there, talking all philosophical shit after about two beers.
So that makes Yoongi the guy with the cynical remarks who kept glaring at me like I murdered his favorite pet dog.
"You mean the moody one?", I ask.
Pressing his lips together into a small smile, Jimin nods. "I... just don't get it. We've been friends for five years, you know? Five goddamn years. He's seen me hooking up with so many guys- I mean, he didn't see me, but he knew it, because I've told him and my other friends whenever there was somebody new. And I also came to them whenever things didn't end so well." Jimin's bottom lip starts to wobble. "Tae was the one who consoled me and took care of me after I once almost got raped at a club, because I changed my mind on getting screwed in a toilet stall, and the other guy didn't appreciate it – but Yoongi heard it too, two days later. He knows so much stuff about me – almost everything. How could he possibly like me after all of this?"
I have to clear my throat twice. I never expected Jimin to be so honest with me. Whatever we were and whatever we are – for some reason, he seems to trust me enough to tell me all of this.
I don't ask before I pull him into a hug. Jimin is shaking, while I am- I am- My emotions are a mess as I'm trying to find the right words for Jimin, although my head feels empty. But I start talking anyway, because shitty consolation is still better than no consolation at all.
"I'm so sorry, Jimin." I wrap my arms around him to hold him close, as close as I can. "I'm so sorry that something like this has happened to you. And I'm sorry for how I've ended things between us last week. I've been an asshole."
Jimin sniffles and chuckles. "It's alright. You already apologized on Friday."
Yes. And then I screwed everything up again by kissing him.
"Let's go on", Jimin suggests after a few more moments, pointing in the direction of uni as he gently frees himself from my embrace.
"Wait." I hurry to keep up with him. "So what about... What about you and Yoongi? What about us?"
"Well..." Jimin hesitates. "About us. I feel like there is someone else for you. And I'm pretty sure I know who it is." He thoughtfully gazes at the front of the hulk-building as it comes into sight. "You should go to San, Wooyoung."
"How-"
"I've seen you two around and stuff." Jimin busies himself with looking ahead, taking in the campus buildings as if he's here for the first time. Then he turns his head sharply towards me: "It is San, right?"
"Yeah."
"I knew it", he mumbles to himself.
"I'm sorry", I blurt out, "We kissed, San and I. Friday evening. It was at that party and he... like, he didn't really confess to me, but he also kinda did, because he kissed me..."
Jimin chuckles dryly. "Damn, Wooyoung, you sure know how to make a guy fall for you."
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you until now. I didn't know how to, because I knew I screwed up..."
Jimin sighs. "It's okay. I kind of did get my hopes up when you kissed me – but then, right after you left, Yoongi said he wanted to talk to me in private, and he asked me to not get together with you and said that he'd liked me for a long time now... He told me that he had wanted to plan it all out and not do it head over heels but that he panicked, because things apparently seemed so serious between us..." Shaking his head incredulously, Jimin trails off for a second. "I guess my head's just been somewhere else after that." He throws me a sideways glance. "You should really work on not having to apologize in the first place though."
"Yeah." I look down. "I know."
We walk quietly for another bit, nearing the hulk's entrance – until I remember my other question: "So what about you and Yoongi?"
"I don't know." Jimin swallows. "I don't know why he would want me in the first place. I didn't even know he was gay until three days ago!"
"But – do you want him? Do you like him?"
Jimin avoids my gaze, staring straight ahead again. "Maybe. I guess I might... I don't know. I never gave it any further thought – I was so sure that he was straight! He's had a girlfriend in middle school after all!"
"Middle school was a long time ago", I remind him. "And he could still like girls too, who knows? Anyways, what did you tell him?"
"I've told him to give me some time." Jimin laughs bitterly. "Lame, I know."
"Not lame", I retort. "Understandable."
"Yeah. Whatever." Jimin presses his lips together. "But, Wooyoung... I don't think we work out as friends with benefits, or whatever we were. I... I want to talk to Yoongi. I don't know." He sighs once more. "And you've got San. But... maybe we could keep in touch?"
I've got Sa- oh my god, San. Sure, I've still got my apology that I need to tell him. But after that... I can tell him that I like him. I can kiss him. I can start dating him. The endless possibilities are making me dizzy in the best way possible. God, I need to talk to San, now. Maybe I can make a quick run back home to see him? Or should I just skip Theater of the Body completely, because who cares about such a stupid seminar anyways?
"Let's be friends?", I suggest, attempting to ban any awkwardness to the back of my mind.
Jimin smiles a smile that almost reaches up to his eyes. "Yeah. Let's be friends, Wooyoung."
"Keep me updated on Yoongi. He might be really glad about... everything."
"I hope so." Jimin chews on his bottom lip nervously.
"If not, you can still hold out for the next good-looking guy", I try to joke.
Jimin frowns – then he shakes his head. "I don't think I'll go back to hooking up. I might just... take a break from it, at least. I don't know. It's a lot of fun, but usually I am the one getting hurt in the end."
Oh. "Yeah, okay, then... good luck with Yoongi."
"Thanks", Jimin whispers, pulling me into another hug. "I feel like I might need it."
"No, you don't. He has already confessed to you, you idiot." I rest my chin on his shoulder. "This will work out. You deserve it."
"Thanks, Wooyoung." Jimin tightens his arms around me – before he suddenly stiffens. "Oh – I think I should go now."
As I let go of Jimin to turn around, it doesn't take me two seconds to find what's made him freeze like that. For a moment, I freeze too. Because there is San. San who's standing only a few meters away from us, holding a crumpled yellow note in his hand and staring at us like he's just seen a ghost.
A/N: Uff, I think this might be the first kind of cliffhanger that I've written in this story?
Jimin honestly wears his heart on his sleeve way too much :( and I guess that's part of the reason why he got hurt that often so far. But since Wooyoung is finally on his way to become a somewhat trustworthy character, Jimin at least (probably), won't get hurt by Wooyoung again..
I never intended for Woo and him to stay friends, or to give Jimin kind of a background story at all - it just sorta,, happened while I was writing...
Anyway - this chapter's end is also the start of a bit more Woosan interaction again. Next chapter will continue exactly where this one left off (:
I'd love to know what you're thinking about the turn that things took now! Ly🧡 Until next week~