Chapter 29 Turning in
It's 8:57 p.m.
For the past 30 minutes, Sam and YU have been standing in the middle of the Sony Center, letting their eyes wander over the ensemble of impressive architecture. And the many details, nooks and crannies reveal more and more thoughtful refinements.
YU's big cat eyes soak up all the details. The various ways of lingering, enjoying, consuming in the eternal light show themselves to YU in large and small lettering in all shapes and colors of enticement.
Sam squints over at YU, enjoying the single sight that has taken him in.
He's been here countless times. An impressive self-evidence of Berlin.
And YU's enchanted gaze makes Sam feel a delight of happiness inside him.
He lives in Berlin. He loves Berlin. And he shows Berlin.
YU.
The turtle who has lived in Berlin for eight years and only knows a little house.
Sam grins.
"Come on, turtle, let's turning in somewhere!" grumbles Sam to YU.
YU turns his bright eyes to the deep, sexy voice.
"Let's turning in somewhere, huh?" asks YU.
"Let's turning in somewhere," Sam repeats.
"What does that mean?" asks YU curiously.
Sam suddenly remembers the day he first heard the German word einkehren (turning in). How he was not merely told the explanation, but shown the meaning.
"I'll have to tell you about that," Sam's eyes light up in fascination, arousing pure curiosity in YU.
"It was years ago now. That's when I was approached by my professor, my friend Dieckmann. Manfred approached me. He persuaded me to accompany him to Sylt during the summer semester vacations. His sister lives there. And he wanted me to meet his niece Janine. Who just happened to be my age. And yet also live in Berlin. Always spent the vacations on Sylt. A prospective teacher with the subjects German and fine arts. We would surely get along well. I should please accompany him. Allow myself some time off. I'd be blown away by the beauty of the island of Sylt on the North Sea coast of Germany," Sam says, disguising his voice as he quotes his Manfred.
He pauses for a moment and begins to secretly laugh at his German father's obviousness. He knows Sam's passion for the aesthetics of language and art. Knows Sam's curiosity for new places and breathtaking vistas. Sam chuckles to himself.
YU sees Sam laughing to himself. This bothers him. He feels left out. His inner expression shows openly on the outside.
And Sam perceives. While thinking of his Dieckmann's matchmaking attempts, he sees YU's penetrating gaze.
As if he's looking for something. Waiting.
He mirrors YU's expression and decides not to keep YU waiting.
"Well, I agreed to spend a week on Sylt. Really a beautiful island. The warm lights of the clouds and the cold-covered rays of the sun make a stunning contrast on the rough dunes of the beaches running into the horizon. And the thatched roofs made me clap my hands in a childlike way," Sam enthuses reminiscently, triggering a first in YU.
Impatience felt in the first time in his life.
He does not want to hear from Sam about the scenic excesses of the island of Sylt. Not now. He doesn't want to wait. He should finally tell him.
"It really was a very nice week. They all took such touching care of me. Showed me everything of the island, which is only 38 km long and barely 13 km wide. From one tip to the other I was shown the fascinating tides of the North Sea. And that night on the beach, I couldn't take my eyes off it," Sam's deep, dreamy voice rings out, triggering an avalanche in YU.
YU's face darkens. He averts his gaze and lets out a barely audible snort. If he could, he would turn off his listening device now. He doesn't want to hear it. Not hear anything about their night. He wants to get out of here.
Finally, Sam, notices YU's color change. He sees, the anger and his inner turmoil. What was it that triggered him?
"Have you ever seen pictures of Sylt at low tide? The mud flats? At night, the sight took my breath away," Sam fumbles, earning an angry glare.
"YU, are you bored with the story? Or did I say something wrong?", Sam now asks feeling the uneasiness rising inside him.
YU returns Sam a deep, thoughtful look.
He would like to claw his eyes out. He feels his Id racing with jealousy. The idea of Sam and Janine on a romantic island sickens him. Even if it was years ago, all along Sam must have belonged to him.
His superego postulates the inclusion of reality. Shaking his head, he stands before the most primal entity and warns of the consequences of exposing himself.
And then there is the ego.
YU is finally able to fully perceive his ego again. He can mediate between these two instances of the unconscious tugging at him. Make decisions.
And even though he doesn't want to show his face, it's out of the question to hide in his little house again.
His newfound feeling of being satisfied makes him become possessive and feel sorrow at the thought of loss.
So, he wants to show Sam. Just a little. Even though he's afraid of his reaction.
"You're just not getting to the point," YU grumbles.
"Oh, sorry, right. I was trying to explain to you what turning in means," Sam begins, only to be interrupted by YU.
"No, you just don't seem to want to tell me what happened with you and Janine. On that beautiful, romantic island that you were so fascinated with. Where you were taken care of. You couldn't take your eyes off at night.
Come on, tell me! What happened between you and your professor's niece?" demands YU.
And Sam gets lost in the floods of his feelings rippling in on him.
He sees a YU at eye level in front of him. They are at eye level. YU is there.
He's standing right in front of him, and he's jealous.
Sam blushes and starts biting his lower lip.
YU looks so stunning at this moment. So primal that Sam's instincts prompt him to grab.
He grins and sees YU's impatient eyes punishing him.
With tingles in his stomach, he decides to indulge in a little more of YU's ravishing jealousy.
"Mhmmm, so Janine is a beautiful woman, with endless legs, long hair and warm eyes. We hit it off," Sam says deliberately in a smoky voice.
He enjoys the flames in YU's eyes and finally wants to extinguish them.
"Her boyfriend Markus was there, too. Manfred hadn't talked to her in a long time and didn't know she was already taken," he says, wondering at the still lingering flashes in YU's eyes.
A warm feeling of caring surrounds Sam's heart. He has teased YU. Upset the turtle.
"Also, you have to know that all my life I wasn't really interested in other people. I acquired their experience and behavior in case studies. The physical and psychological signs of true attraction remained hidden from me. I know that now," Sam explains in a low tone. A deep tone that makes YU's cheeks shimmer delicately.
YU can't hold Sam's deep gaze and watches Sam's Adam's apple move as Sam continues to speak.
"On Sylt, I was informed right at the first outing where we would turning in. I didn't know the word and Janine then explained to me, the German mentality of turning in.
Loving and more or less appreciative friends, family members, acquaintances meet for a social pastime.
They go on hikes, shopping trips, sporting adventures and finally turninng in at a pub. Eating snacks, pastry masterpieces or traditional dishes together is an integral part of the mutual declaration of love.
They pay attention to each other. Listen to each other and discuss trivia. They satisfy hunger and are satisfied. Dining in is a ceremonial display of mutual affection.
A time to give each other food, warmth and love. ", Sam explains, smiling at the fact that YU still can't look at him.
"So, let's turning in somewhere," Sam says.
YU smiles sheepishly and puts on a serious face.
"Why don't you say that now? Why are you losing so much slime? Besides, you like to hear yourself talk." he scoffs and sees Sam's eyes widen.
YU giggles wildly and reaps a Berlin-style Knuppi.
He laughs up and returns a Knuppi.
And so, laughing and giving each other Knuppis, they walk slowly to the restaurant Alex Berlin in the Sony Center at Potsdamer Platz.