Mara kept staring at the door. She knew that he could come in at any moment. She tried in vain to refocus on her stupid embroidery, something like a rose or something, well it was supposed to look like that, but it wasn't. This was a rose that was already half wilted and looked like it was dying, she thought to herself now, and she almost had to chuckle as her nerves caught up with her. This was a rose that was already half wilted and seemed to be dying, she thought to herself now, and she almost had to chuckle if her nerves hadn't got in the way. No, she was far too nervous to laugh now.
He hadn't come back yet; she knew he liked to bathe extensively. She also knew he was vain; a trait she sometimes teased him about but admitted to herself.... If she had been a man and looked like Anthony Bridgerton, she would undoubtedly have been vain too. But this time he seemed to take a long time; bathing and dressing normally didn't take that long either she knew... Would he have changed his mind? Refrained from meeting her after all? She hoped not, but somewhere inside she got the feeling that...
Someone knocked on the door; and immediately she jumped from where she was sitting and dropped the embroidery.
"Come in" she said in a shaky voice, which was not the intention. She was supposed to sound fearless, but her voice failed her. Tennison; the butler opened and announced.
"Mr Bridgerton" he said in a drawling tone whereupon Anthony walked in and instantly she was struck again by his handsome and stately appearance; the way he moved with confidence as if he was sure of everything in life although she seemed to detect some doubt in his eyes.
He carefully walked in and took a deep breath. The closer he came the more she struggled to breathe, as if the air was being sucked out of her lungs. Anthony stayed right in front of her, examining her with his gaze, and seemed to want to lean forward and kiss her cheek, but the movement came too quickly for her, or not at all, and Mara took a step backwards. His eyes showed disappointment, but he said nothing and took a step backwards.
"Please sit down," Mara said, pointing to the sofa opposite. He nodded and meekly sat down.
This was not a good start, Anthony thought. He had hoped that after their mutual expression of regret, they would be able to start on the road to recovery but perhaps... he had acted too hastily. Anthony had to be patient now and certainly in the coming weeks; however long it would take, because he wanted her. Not just because of their child, but because she was his wife and he wanted no one else. The past few weeks had been hell on earth for him; he had been so worried and then so happy to hear that she had been found. That he had found her and then disappointed to learn that Henry had visited her. He had given up. Gave up hope but when they had found out from his clever sisters that Mara was pregnant; his whole mood had changed, and he had realised what an idiot he had been. He didn't want to lose her; Anthony didn't want to lose them; Mara and the child she was carrying. It would kill him to, so he had to fix this; whatever it took; he had to.
An awkward silence fell between them; one that reminded them of their earlier wedding days, where everything was strange to them both and they obviously still had to get used to each other. Yet after a while Anthony cleared his throat and spoke, for he had questions in his mind that he would like answered.
"So... how are you feeling?" he asked timidly; clearly hinting at the pregnancy.
She blushed slightly; as stupid as it was, he was her husband. at least for now.
"I feel pretty good. I'm still very nauseous at the beginning of the morning but other than that I'm fine I think".
He smiled broadly; a smile that made his whole face light up and nodded.
"That's good to hear," he said. "Good to hear" he repeated not to her but to himself, so it seemed. He cleared his throat for the second time and then went on to question number 2
"How far along are you if you don't mind me asking?" It was a strange thing to inquire about; he knew that too, but he wanted to approach the conversation with her cautiously, so he continued this safe footing.
"I think... Almost 7 weeks" she said with a blush. Seven weeks... Inwardly he did the calculation and then came to only one conclusion; that the child had been processed during their stay at Aubrey Hall. During that delirious, lovely afternoon with her in the gardens of his favourite place in all of England.
"Oh... I see" he said nodding and then there was silence... Unfortunately, the awkwardness had not yet disappeared, and both seemed unable, or unwilling, to mention the elephant in the room. At least not for now.
"Um. Mother... suggested we use Doctor Parson... as he has a lot of experience with... I mean he was present at all the births in the family, and he has accompanied mother so hence... she suggested it but if you, I mean you want to consider another option then-".
No, no. Seems like a good plan" she said to which he asked 'Really', and she nodded.
"Well then I'll have my clerk schedule an appointment soon if that's ok with you" he stated with a serious expression.
"Sure" she said and then there was silence again and that silence would probably have lasted longer were it not for the fact that Anthony brought his hand to his nose; not yet convinced that the smell was really gone.
Mara had to chuckle; unintentionally at the recollection; and brought her hand to her mouth to suppress it but it was already too late because he suddenly looked at her irritated, at first; but then his gaze softened.
"Again, it was really not funny..." he said in a reproachful tone, but it came out a lot less angry than he wanted.
But she chuckled once more as it was funny the vain Anthony and somehow; he had to laugh with her at some point. It made the atmosphere change; become more convivial; and a pressure disappear that had been weighing heavily on both their shoulders.
"Whose plan, was it? Yours or his?" wanted Anthony to know.
"Mine..." she replied slightly nervously but with a mischievous twinkle in her eye which let out the first signs of lust in him.
"But Lucas took the bucket from me because of my condition so to speak" and at that moment Anthony immediately lost any resentment towards his young brother-in-law.
"Good lad" he said to Mara or more to himself; she wasn't quite sure before taking a deep breath. It was now or never.
"I want to apologise, once again for, my idiotic mistake of going to Sienna. Nothing really happened between us; I swear to you, Mara. I wish I could turn back that day. I was looking for something, answers maybe, but I was so stupid not to realise that they were staring me straight in the face. He paused briefly before continuing and she couldn't help but look at him thoughtfully, inwardly curious as to where his argument was going.
"You are the answer, Mara. You are. And I didn't realise it. I didn't realise how, how fortunate I was with you, with our marriage. I know that our meeting and decision to marry... has been unconventional but I haven't regretted it for a moment, and I don't regret it now."
He was telling the truth, she could tell; true; they had married as two strangers but in the past few months she had learned a lot about him. Her husband was many things; haughty; and could sometimes be blunt; but one thing he was not: a liar. She did not know why she had not believed him before; probably it had to do with her own insecurity. You see; she had thought. You see that you are not good enough for him? You see, you are a fraud; she had been right; she should not be a Viscountess and certainly should not bear the name of Bridgerton.... You see; you are not good enough.
"Do you believe me?" he asked her softly after watching her intently for a while; inwardly panicking that she had said nothing until now.
"Yes," she said softly.... "I believe you " to which he took a deep sigh of relief.
"Sienna... wrote me a letter in which she also explained that you spoke in an amicable manner, and nothing happened. His eyes grew big with surprise; he had never expected Sienna to do such a thing, but he was very grateful to her for it.
"That was nice of her" he said, inwardly biding his time for he had made a start with his speech, and it was time to finish it.
"I don't want to divorce you, Mara. I want us to stay together. Not just for the child" and for a moment he smiled again because somewhere he could not believe it yet "but because I want you. I want you. I want... I love you" he said, a pleading and sincere look in his eyes. Hers began to fill with tears, which she blamed on the pregnancy hormones when she knew they were not.
"I love you" he repeated with a crack in his voice; still looking at her penetratingly.
She couldn't stand his gaze any longer and, to his surprise, suddenly stood up and reached for the teapot and took a cup and saucer.
"Would you like some tea, Mr Bridgerton?" she asked him, and it took him a few minutes to realise that she was re-enacting their first encounter; in the same drawing room; that restrained first meeting in which they both did not yet know how fate would bind the two of them soon after.
"Yes please; Mrs Bridgerton" he replied with a smile and then watched as she elegantly poured the cup and added some milk and sugar.
"Bridgerton? My name is Mara Kensington" she said with a teasing voice and a grin as she walked towards him. Anthony shook his head...
"I don't know a Mara Kensington. Just Bridgerton" he replied smiling at her, and she reciprocated and at that moment... he knew that things were good between them again. Instead of accepting the cup, he placed it on the table; reached for her right hand, took it, and squeezed it. Then he pulled himself towards her; sitting down; gently; loving her and taking her in his arms; resting his head on her belly.
At one point, he turned his mouth towards her belly and kissed it sweetly while she caressed his shoulders with one hand and gently ran the other through his hair.
"I love you too, Anthony. I love you very much" she said, trembling, and Anthony smiled against her belly. He then looked up at her with the most disconcerting expression and then a completely different one; naughty; cheeky and suddenly grabbed her arms and pulled her into his lap. She gasped and her fingers fell on his shoulders in a reflex to grab hold. In his turn, he pulled her even tighter against him, making her gasp again. They locked eyes; still uncertain somewhere; but soon Anthony's gaze went to her mouth, whereupon she looked at his again.
He pressed his lips to her hard; wildly; in a desperate attempt to become familiar with her once more; with the taste of her lips, her tongue and he touched her sweetly yet passionately as they both lost control more and more. Anthony shifted his attention to her neck; which he began to kiss hard; rubbing the skin he had missed so much. His mouth moved down to her breast, licking the exposed areas, and caressing them with his tongue. When Anthony took her left breast in his hand and started caressing her behind with the other, Mara had to interrupt, even if reluctantly.
"Anthony" she said in an affected tone of voice. "Someone could come in like that" but he didn't seem to mind. In fact, all he could utter was just the truth....
"I missed you so much. Missed you so... You've been away too long. Too long" he growled; while with his hand he had now pushed up her dress to feel more of her. He also pulled up her petticoat, leaving only one item of clothing in the way: her underwear. He pulled it down slowly and put the fingers of his left hand full on her bum and squeezed. Mara lifted her head backwards; part of surprise; part of pleasure so that her breasts came dangerously close to Anthony's face; and though he had wanted to stop, he could not. Uniting his hands, he pulled down the top of her dress; exposing her breasts to him; in all their glory. If he wasn't already aroused... this was the tipping point as he felt himself getting even harder.
It wasn't long before his mouth collapsed on her bosom; taking her nipple into his mouth and sucked. He sucked her nipple so hard that Mara wanted to scream out loud, but he had been smart enough to stop her in time by putting his hand in front of her lips. He then continued his ministrations undisturbed, licking and sucking both breasts, which, to his delight, seemed fuller than before.
His joy did not last long, however, for a loud knock at the door made them both immediately recoil; Mara wriggled free from his grasp and his lap; stood up and hurriedly dressed but he could not stand up, not at that moment; so, he grabbed a pillow and quickly laid it on his lower regions so that another would not notice.
Henrietta Kensington came in and if he had not been annoyed by the interruption until then he was now. He did like his mother-in-law; but she had an irritating habit of a) chattering until Anthony's ears nearly fell off and b) of visiting at the most inconvenient times; just like now.
"Mother. Hello" Mara said with a flushed face; desperately hoping that her mother would not notice anything, but Henrietta's oblique smile told her enough.
Mara quickly sat down next to Anthony and tried to act as nonchalant as possible; something Anthony also seemed to be doing, but both failed miserably.
"I wanted to know if you needed anything" said Henrietta Kensington innocently. "Some more tea perhaps?" she asked but both quickly shook their heads.
"Oh okay... Then I shall leave you alone again" spoke Mara's mother; her face sporting a very amused look.
When she was gone Anthony, and Mara heaved a sigh of relief and then both chuckled about the awkward situation they had both found themselves in. Anthony took Mara's palm; brought it to him and kissed it solemnly; looking deep into her eyes.
"Shall we go home, my dear Viscountess?"
"I would love to, my dear Viscount" she responded with a loving expression in her eyes. She wanted to get up but then felt Anthony tugging her.
"I think... I'll need a few minutes before I can leave" he said with a blush. Mara couldn't help herself and burst out laughing.
***********
Edmund James Bridgerton was born on a cold day in February; a healthy child; with rosy cheeks; with Mara's blue eyes and Anthony's chestnut hair. Both parents were immediately besotted with their beautiful baby boy, but Anthony was most delighted. His boy: he had a son; he was a father; something he had never expected to become. No; he had always suspected that like his son's namesake; he would die at an early age; an equally unfortunate fate would befall him, but fate had apparently decided otherwise for him.
Edmund James was horribly spoilt by his besotted aunts and grandmothers and his uncles Colin, Benedict and Simon were equally fond of him and doted on the little boy with attention. When their son was 2 years old Mara announced to Anthony that she was pregnant again and months later their daughter was born Lilly Emma Bridgerton; a reference to the two best friends. Whentheir second son Miles as born two years after Lily Emma; their family was complete.
He didn't think of it often but sometimes when he looked at his children; at his beautiful and loving wife; he couldn't believe how lucky he was and a thought then always crept up in his mind..
That unfortunate meeting in the Kensington's garden and the subsequent article in Lady Whistledown's Society Papers was the best thing that ever happened to him.
Cover art by Happyclover