Whoa Baby
Chapter 34- Oooh, Baby, Baby
"The things we fear the most already happened to us."- One Hour Photo {Robin Williams}
It was Sunday, and in my grandmother's old eyes, I'd probably be damned to hell for wearing pants to church, but I couldn't care less. Shocking though, because when I had walked down the stairs she didn't even take a second glance at me and my olive green stretchy pants. I wasn't about wearing a dress in this cold early November weather. Personally, I think, after the talk with my grandmother, she seemed a little at ease with me. Maybe she just had more hope now that maybe I could change my mind.
I didn't want to burst that bubble quite yet.
I sat in my regular pew spot though, waiting for church to start, but soon after had to get up because I had to go to the bathroom, again. I just went ten minutes ago Jesus Christ... Ugh, I'm in church, sorry Lord for I have used your name in vain in your house.
I did my business fairly quickly, taking my time walking back to my spot on the pew. I walked around, chatting with people for mere minutes, then stood by the front door, taking in some fresh air and drinking some water. That's when JC walked in rather quickly. Probably to get away from the cold air, but right now it felt nice.
"Hey." He said, wide eye when he found me standing there.
"Hey." I greeted back with a small grin.
"What are you doing here?" He asks, "Standing here alone rather than over there." He clarifies, pointing to the pew where I normally sit waiting.
"I just needed to get up and walk around for a bit." I tell him, with a shrug. Now this you won't expect. I hugged JC. Yes, you heard me right the first time, I hugged JC.
"Are you okay?" He asks, hesitantly, putting a hand on a small part of my back as a way of hugging me.
"Yeah, I'm okay now." I mutter, holding him tightly. All I could remember is the words JC spoke that night. I saw him and I just heard the words repeat in my head. Don't give up on the baby.
Both his arms went around to hug me and it now felt like a real hug. A great comfortable hug that I didn't want to let go of. "I'm scared. Not of the baby or how my future will happen, but of you too. That's been the real reason all along."
"I know." He whispers. I wasn't only scared if he'd end up like his father, I was scared of where JC stood. I'm scared that one day he could take off and never to be seen again and as hard as it is to admit it, even to myself, I'd be heartbroken if that happened. I think I rather him tell me he wants out then for him to just disappear. But what I fear the most is not being able to provide for my child, and regret not giving him better chances in life. You live one life and every moment of it counts.
He pulled away, a faint grin on his lips as he holds out his fist to me, "We got this." He says, hitting his fist with mine, "I know I didn't sound so confident and that probably didn't make you feel any better, but we'll give it our best."
"You've got that right." I grin, fumbling with my fingers in front of me nervously, "I know this may sound odd, but I felt like my grandmother was the only person who was handing me something I wanted rather than, like, my mother, who just kept telling me the right thing to do. At first, I didn't believe her when she said she wanted what's best for me, but she knows what I want out of life-"
"And she's using that against you at your most vulnerable time." JC interrupted, moving us out of the way so people could walk around us.
"I know, I know, and it's not right. I know by seeing me she must have had ulterior motives. She placed more doubts into my head, making me worry all over again, and I'm sorry about that. It's not fair to you after all the crap I gave you for being uncertain. I'm just really glad you made me talk about it and called me up. I didn't know I needed that until it happened. So thank you." I told him, rubbing my hand up and down his sleeved covered arm as a warming gesture.
He nods his head once, a small grin tugged at the corner of his lips, "Any time." We grin one last time at each other as we start walking toward my spot on the front pew.
"So my mom and I were talking, and she said she'd really like for you and your mom to join us for Thanksgiving. I know it's like in two weeks, but, yeah, it's an invitation." I say nervously on our way to our seats.
He grinned a little more, stuffing his hands in his pockets as usual, "How do you feel about that?" He asks warily, sitting on the hard wooden pew.
"It was actually my idea." I said, pushing my hair out of my eyes, "Especially to make up after that horrible first dinner. Not that Thanksgiving will be any better with my grandmother around, but that's another battle we can face."
He chuckles faintly, looking around probably for my grandmother, "I can take her." He jokes when we both spot her coming down the aisle, waving her hands to people as she passes, "I'll run it by my mom. She'll probably come, especially since it's for you. She literally adores you, she should have just had a daughter instead of me." He chuckles, rolling his eyes.
"She loves you more, regardless." I tell him certain. I remembered back to the time when JC had come to visit when his mom was around. I thought the bond they have together is adorable. He's definitely a momma's boy, but he also tries to act like a man for her.
"She's been talking about wanting to visit you again, but she always thinks she's bothering you." He says with a shrug, sitting forward properly with his hands folded on his lap.
"Never, I like when your mom visits. Tell her she can come by whenever she wants." I tell him, nodding my head with approval.
He nods his head, looking up to my mom standing on the stage, handing the microphones to the singers and chatting with them briefly before starting service, "What is your mom going to talk about today?" He asks.
"I think she's going to continue her lesson on forgiveness." I respond, snickering mentally. How ironic.
===
Though Thanksgiving was still about a week and a half away my mom and I started talking about it in advanced. We talked about what we were cooking, who we we're inviting, and other little things like what to buy, when to buy or order it. We had made a list the last night because it was something I needed so I could keep busy. I've been stuck in the house for way too long and I needed to get out.
So mom gave me a short list of groceries to buy. Though they wouldn't be for Thanksgiving, it would probably be used for dinner this week. I also had to go to the farm and order a turkey. Dad likes it fresh rather than frozen, don't ask me why. I think it's too much extra work. I also had to go to the bakery and order pies and other little pastries; even though I told my mom I wanted to bake something. Again, it'd give me something to do.
I was planning to leave the house shortly until JC came in. I was still sitting down at my kitchen table, scrolling through recipes on my laptop, "Oh hey, I was just about to slip out soon. I didn't know if you'd be coming over or not." I mention, looking up from my laptop.
"Yeah I've been busy these last couple of days." He says with a shrug of his shoulder. "Where are you heading off to?" He asks, leaning up against the wall at the other end of the kitchen.
"Here, there, a little bit of everywhere." I rhyme, feeling like it was something that came out of a Dr. Seuss book.
"Want me to tag along?" He offers.
"Sure, I could use the company." I grin, "So what do you think cookies or brownie? Or even a cheesecake." I mention, liking that idea better as I scroll through some recipes.
"What for?" He asks, pulling out the chair at the end of the table, beside me, to my left.
"Thanksgiving dinner." I respond, resting my chin in the palm of my hand as I read through a recipe on how to make white chocolate raspberry cheesecake. Mm, this all sounds so good. "Oh baby. Oo." I gasp and hiss, pressing my hand to my stomach as I felt a sharp tug in my stomach. That didn't feel nice at all. Ouch baby boy.
"What's happening?" JC asks, sitting up a bit more properly.
"Either a strong kick or I'm giving birth early." I say, taking deep breaths and hoping the pain would go away.
"It's not even January yet!" JC shouts, a panicked look in his eyes.
"I'm only kidding JC." I assure him with a small chuckle. "Though it could happen." I rethink, tilting my head to the side as I remembered the possibility of that actually happening.
"Don't joke with me, Devoncourt." He said, still with a wild look in his eyes.
I pressed my lips together, watching him intently as he looked away and tried to relax. "You're scared aren't you?" I mumbled, folding my hands on top of my stomach. "It's the first time I think I've actually seen you look terrified." I add, watching him lean his head back on the chair with his eyes closed, "Don't worry, I'm scared too. You're not the only one. I don't know though, sometimes when I feel a kick or think that it's time for him to come out I get a little excited. It's both fear yet excitement. Anticipation."
"God, Paisley I don't know how you can think that way." He mutters, looking up at the ceiling and shaking his head slightly from side to side. "I'm more scared than anything."
"Of course you are. It's alright to be. We're all scared of the unknown." I say to him, though I don't think that makes him feel any better. "Oo. Come on, stop beating me up in there." I say, poking at my stomach and looking down at it, thinking the baby could hear and understand what I'm telling him.
"Home many more weeks exactly?" He asks, after a bit of silence.
"Eight more weeks." I confirm, "I also have an appointment right before the end of the year holidays. Just in case. January 11th they say." He takes a deep sigh, closing his eyes again tightly. "Moving forward, did you talk to your mom yet about Thanksgiving?" I ask, pushing myself up from the chair and walking around the table to throw away my trash. I grab a heavy glass Mason jar cup from the cabinet and start filling it with ice.
"She a little unsure. She doesn't want to intrude I think." He says, rubbing his hands down his face then sitting properly and facing me.
"Maybe I should talk to her." I suggest, holding the cup up to the water filter outside the fridge. "Tell her to come by tomorrow. I can make her some coffee or tea and maybe some brownies- Oo, I really want to find a recipe for salted caramel brownies. That will give me something to do." I say, before taking a big chug of my ice cold water. I go back to my seat and Google search caramel brownie recipes.
"Make sure you save some for me. If they're any good that is." He jokes, tilting his chair back.
"Of course they'll be good." I snicker, "Come on, I want to get out of the house." I say, shutting down my laptop after only a few minutes. I push it off to the side and get off my chair, grabbing the thick cardigan sweater I left hanging on the bottom stair banister since I didn't really have any maternity jackets to wear. I should buy one soon since I will be pregnant until January. I'll look fluffier than I already am though, but who cares.
Though I insisted that I was going to be driving myself already, and that JC should just let me drive, he didn't allow me to drive. I don't get what the big deal is with guys always having to be able to drive. Why can't the girl drive for once, gees? I didn't make a big deal out of it though.
The first stop on the list was the grocery store. My mom only wrote a few things down, saying that after work next Monday she'll go and pick up more stuff for the dinner. She wanted to buy things fresh. "Gallon of milk." I read off as I walk with the carriage. JC goes to grab it before I can even look up from the list. "Alright, a half pint of cream."
"Pint? That's not how you say pint." He judges, shaking his head.
"I know I apparently say it wrong but I strong believe that it's pronounced pin-t." I argue, tomato, tomáto anyways.
"Can you just be normal and say pahy-nt like everyone else?" He teases, cracking a smirk when I point to the cream carton again on the top shelf of the fridge.
"Nope. I have a point. America has had it wrong all these centuries." I say stubbornly, pushing the cart to the next aisle, "I'm going to need cereal, granola bars and- oh my gosh, pop tarts!" I gasp, grabbing a box quickly off the shelf. "I haven't had a pop tart since... Gees I can't even tell you how long!"
"That was literally breakfast to me all of junior high." JC chuckles, ushering me along. I look for SJ's Frosted Cheerios cereal and grab a couple different boxes of granola bars. We went through every aisle quickly, even if it wasn't anything I needed. It wasn't until we got to the cookies and sweets aisle when JC said, "Maybe it's wasn't such a good idea on your mom's part to send you grocery shopping." He chuckles, scratching the back of his neck.
"Why do you say that?" I mutter, telling myself that my mom would be very disappointed in me if I brought Oreo's home. Just like Alice's mom, who didn't allow her to eat Lucky Charms as a kid, my mom never let us eat Oreos. She said it was probably one of the worst things we could eat. Of course she was exaggerating, but still to this day she never bought Oreos, unless she was making a recipe and it required them.
"Because you are literally just buying snack and sweets." He laughs, picking up the cookies I had in the cart along with other sweet foods.
"I'm going through the list." I show him, running my finger down the length of the paper.
"Yes, and I can see you've added your junkie necessities." He snickers, shaking his head as he grabs the list from me.
"Strawberries aren't junk." I correct, moving the cart again.
"And under that you have Nutella, Ben & Jerry's, chocolate chip cookies, hot fudge. Strawberries is the only healthy extra thing you've added on here." He claims, helping me pick a couple of ripe tomatoes.
"What are you talking about? Ice cream is very good for you, look at the source of calcium in one pint!" I contest, though I really couldn't show him since I haven't gone to the ice cream aisle yet.
"Say pint the right way!" He urges again.
"I am saying pint right!" I repeat, "Last thing before the ice cream is lettuce." I say, turning the carriage to the next aisle.
It wasn't my phone, but JC's rang just as I packaged the lettuce in a thin but somehow durable plastic bag, tying a knot at the top. He greeted the person at the other end of the line and just began humming his answers for a bit. "I mean Joe gave me a copy of a key, but I don't know if it's open the office... Oh the room next to the office, gotcha. Yeah they're in there."
I looked over at JC puzzled for a moment, but was almost immediately distracted by all the flavors of Ben & Jerry. My favorite so far has been New York Super Fudge Chunk. It's literally everything I've wanted in an ice cream but better. "I guess I can stop by quickly. I'm out right now though, but maybe I can get there within the hour." JC says to the person on the phone. Now I really want to know what's going on. "Ok, see you soon. Yeah, no, not a problem. Bye." He sigh, ending the call, still scrolling through his phone though.
"Would you like some Ben & Jerry's and a side of who were you on the phone with?" I ask slyly, with a smile, dancing a pint of ice cream in front of him.
"I actually would like some Ben & Jerry's. Your flavors are always crap." He tisks, looking through the glass door of the fridge.
"My flavors are great I'll have you know. You just have bad taste." I say, turning my nose up to him. Who gets banana split, come on be a little more adventurous.
"Alright, they tell me why there's only two banana split flavors then, hm?" He challenges, putting his pint in the carriage.
"Because they only bought two." I answer back, pushing the carriage away before I found myself looking for other flavors.
"We just got to make a small pit stop." He tells me as we stand in line to pay. Even if it's only almost noon on a Wednesday people were still out shopping, but the lines weren't too long though.
"Where too?" I ask, inching the carriage a little more forward.
"The hardware store. The one up the street from the school." He says, placing the divider on the conveyor belt. As it clears the way a little more JC grabs the gallon of milk and places it on the belt, grabbing more things to stack in the little space of room.
"What for?" I ask puzzled, holding my hand up for him to wait. There was no need to rush and stack all the items with barely no room.
"Drop off a key to open a door to the storage room." He says with a shrug, staring at the conveyor belt. I waited for him to look up to answer my confused expression. "I work there." He says, pressing his lips together and placing the two cartons of Ben & Jerry's on the belt.
"Oh." I said very exaggerated, understanding better. "I didn't know you had a job." I comment, smiling to the cashier when she was finished with the man in front of us. She greets us a good day, smiling as she grabs the first item blindly with her hands, eyes darting to my stomach and then over to JC.
I could sense judgment was the only thing on her mind after looking at me like that. I didn't need to be a mind reader like Edward Cullen. The look on her face was evident, and I've seen it so many times. It's as almost as if the face read "yikes, another one". Another teen mom. JC placed the rest of the items on the belt as I stood in the middle, mom's credit card in hand to pay for the food. The cashier was always cheerful, giving me smiles, and handing me my receipt with a "have a fantastic day!" and a smile to go along.
After a grin and a wave goodbye, crossing the parking lot while feeling like I was playing a game of Frogger, I helped JC put the bags in the trunk of his car before sitting in the passenger seat. "What's wrong?" He asks, slipping into the driver's seat and starting the car in one motion.
"Nothing." I mumble, shaking my head as if it were nothing. It really was nothing, nothing that made any sense to talk about.
"You sure?" He ask again, clicking on his seatbelt. "You look upset."
"Nothing just tired." I lied, looking out the window. "Don't forget to stop at the hardware store." I say, changing topics.
"I know." He says, nodding his head and reversing from the parking spot. "Maybe you should do the rest of the stuff on your list tomorrow. Go home and take a nap." He suggests after we leave the parking lot.
"Maybe." I respond, resting my head on the window as I looked outside. The sun was shining, beating down on me and making me feel warm. It was so comfortable that maybe right then and there I could take a nap. "I miss coffee." I say out of the blue with my eyes closed, still resting on the window.
"That's a myth you know. Not being able to drink coffee." JC mentions, I can feel him turning the car sharply, which causes my eyes to open wide.
"Says who?" I counter, crossing my arms over my chest.
"Says my mom who drank coffee the whole time she was pregnant with me." He responds, "You just can't have too much of it."
"I'm not taking the risk." I say quickly, even though just the other week I was also craving coffee. Coffee ice cream didn't do any justice.
"Suit yourself." He sighs as I watch him pull into the nearest drove thru for coffee.
Really? Rub it in why don't you!
After that pit stop was made we went straight to the hardware store. JC sat in the parking lot, waiting, texting and calling someone. I was guessing it was who ever called him earlier but wasn't picking up. JC gives out a deep and agitated breath before opening the door, "I'll be back." He mumbles, getting out of the car, and striding over to the front door a couple yards away.
I waited in the car, looking around to find that lawn chairs are still on sale, and a sign on the window that read: 75% off pool chemicals and floats! I don't think anyone is interest in buying that in mid-November. Soon enough JC was exiting the store with a smug smile on his face. He got back in the car, running his hands through his hair and chuckling.
"What's so funny?" I ask, raising my eye brow curiously to him.
"Nothing." He said, his smile turning into a goofy grin on his face. "So you still want to do those other errands?" He asks, backing out onto the street.
"Tomorrow." I tell him, looking back to the hardware store getting further and further behind us. "So how long have you been working there?" I ask.
"Since junior year maybe." He says with a shrug.
"I never knew." I mention, looking straight like he was.
"There's a lot you don't know, Paisley." He comments, turning his head quickly to me and then back to the road.
"I know." I said simply. Though I'm sure there was some deeper meaning behind it. "Thanks for tagging along with me today, JC."
"It's cool." He responds, moving quickly through a yellow light with an abrupt turn. "Have you figured out a name yet?" He says suddenly when we're pulling up on my street.
"Not yet." I tell him, brushing my thumb in circles on my stomach. "Why do you have another name?" Hopefully this one would be better than Patrick.
"No I was just wondering. I thought maybe you were done reading the book." He says, shrugging his shoulders. He pulls into the driveway, parks the car and then gets out. I take a while to follow, since for some reason it feel like a stretch from the door to the ground. Maybe I'm just used to my little car.
"No, I stopped at the S's. There was too many. Plus, I was watching TV so I didn't get too far." I'm able to say when I meet him at the back of his car, grabbing groceries from the trunk.
"You can carry these." He says, handing some off to me. They were extremely light. The bags only containing bread, yogurt, granola bars, and cereal. The rest JC grabbed, and he refused to let me help carry. He was holding the majority of them in one hand and a gallon of milk in the other.
"You know what name I strongly like now?" I begin, climbing up the front steps.
"What's that?" He asks, coming up closely behind me.
"James, but only so I can call him Jamie. I don't know why I just think that's cute now. At first I thought it was a little weird, but it's growing on me." I explain, unlocking the door with my key, letting us in.
"If you're going to call him Jamie you might as well just name him Jamie and not James." JC says, going back to my conclusion I had with his mother about naming him one thing and everyone calling him by a nick name.
"True. I don't know though, I just thought it was cute." I mutter with a shrug.
"Look I could care less if you're not going to name him Patrick, just please don't name him James." He begs, sincerely, looking straight at me for a moment when we got to put the bags in the kitchen.
I studied his face for a moment, seeing the pleading and earnest look in his chocolate brown eyes. For once I didn't even ask why, I just nodded my head, grinned lightly, and walked away to put the ice cream in the freezer. I still kept thinking about it though. Why wouldn't he want me to name the baby James? It's just a name, and then it hit me. I totally forgot that Jim is a nickname for James.
I felt so stupid yet sorry. How could I forget about that?! I was so annoyed with myself. I'm supposed to be smart! "I forgot that James has many other nick names. I'm sorry, of course I won't name him that." I say in a small voice, nodding my head even if he was looking away at the time.
"It's alright." He said with a deep breath, running a hand through his hair.
"I don't even like the name James to be honest." I say truthfully with a shrug, "It was just for the nick name but it's isn't worth it." Shaking my head as I picked up all the plastic bags off the floor.
"I know it's a stupid reason, but-"
"Not stupid reason. It's understandable." I interrupt him. He presses his lips together and grins, putting the cereal away. "Anyways, are you working tomorrow?"
"Why do you ask?" He says abruptly, turning quickly to me.
"Just wondering if you'll stop by or not. I've got the rest of those errands to run." I mention, taking the lemonade out of the fridge. "What time is it?" I wonder to myself, but somehow I end up saying it out loud anyways.
"Half past noon." JC says, stuffing his phone back in his pocket.
"I want a salad. With chicken." I mention, looking around the fridge. I grab the lettuce and the leftover chicken from a couple of nights ago and go at it, making enough for two... or three actually. Eating healthy for once, good job me!
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HELLOOOOOO BABIES!! <3
Eight more weeks till Baby B is updated. And when we say Baby B, we mean B as in boy ;P What did you think of this chapter? Kind of a filler, but we had the begining scene already typed out from way back and we wanted to use it!
*** GOAL TIME!!***
Don't ever doubt the goals, YOU GUYS CAN DO IT!
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See you next week! Love you all!
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