SHEHNAAZ
Was I still cursing my fate for what happened ? No, I wasn't the one to hold on grudges ever. I agree I did hold them on for a few years now for some people who were a part of my life once maybe still are, But do they cared? No they didn't. Am I wrong in not forgiving them? Should I as a daughter forget what ever happened as they were my parents or should as a mother actually stand on the same pov I'm at present, I really don't know, I have no idea, I won't say life has been harsh on me because I have seen people suffering worst too but then it wasn't easy too, I have faced as many hurdles as I could in these years, but never once I cursed my life, I just have one life and cursing it means cursing what my parents gave me and I can't ever do that, it was what it was maybe not full of roses but enough for me to survive in this harsh world, but still there was some hope that maybe just once they would try to contact me, just a single word of love, I don't even need an apology because what I needed was LOVE, only LOVE which a child always craves for, even after whatever they did I can't deny them being ky parents and I knew I might forgot whatever happened if they just called me once. But that never happened, never in these 5 years they tried contacting me as if I was dead for them, all they did was to still stand firm on that decision as if it was the best decision they took but guess what it was the worst for me, they considered society but what about me the only child they had, But they considered as if it was me who failed as daughter.
I just want an answer, couldn't parents be wrong ever? I agree they did a lot for me, maybe even more than I could ever do for Aahnik, but the time I needed them the most, what they did was to choose this society over me, their so called self prestige over their daughter, but were they wrong? For me yes they were but for them maybe not. They believed that I was failing their upbringing, the same upbringing that made me what I'm today, strong, firm and broad minded.
Keeping grudges made my heart heavy and probably I might not look at life the way I'm doing it at present. I don't know why I shared it with Ashu but as I have realised I needed to went it out, maybe just by telling someone which I didn't in these years, yes I had Sanchi but I couldn't hold her off guards for everything I was going through when I knew her life was much more complicated than mine.
From the time Ashu had gone I realised what I was missing these years, I lacked companionship, definitely not a partner because I lack trust on relationships now but just someone who won't judge meme, who will understand me as a person, as what I'm and not what they wants me to.
" Shehnaaz you can't take this decision, I am not in this favour"
"Why Papa? I'm not doing anything wrong"
"You are Sana, samajh na bacha"
"Kya samjhoon main Mumma, mera bacha hai voh"
"Kisi aur ka khoon hai voh Shehnaaz, pta nhi kis ka... "
" Bas Papa, mera bacha hai voh aap samjhte kyun nhi hai"
*Shehnaaz! "
"Ruk kyun gaye Papa maar, lijiye par aapke kehne se ab kuch hoga nhi, joh ho gaya hai usse badloge kaise aap"
"Bas Shehnaaz, agar tera yehi faisla hai toh bhool jaa hume, bol voh Bacha ya phir tere maa baap"
"Papa.... Maa aap kuch boliye na papa ko"
"Bas Shehnaaz, Hume hamari izzat pyaari hai, issi duniya main rehna hai hume "
"Theek hai papa aap apni izzat rakhiye, main Apne bache ko dekhungi, mere liye na hi aaj tak kabhi ye society matter ki hai na hi aage karegi, but I wish aap samjh pate mujhe"
These words were still as fresh in my mind as it was the first day I spoke them, my thoughts broke when I heard my phone ringing, I thought it to be Ashu Or Sanchi but it was Mr. Raichand, I sighed but anyways picked it up.
Hello, Ms. Shehnaaz I hope you remember me, came his voice from the other side.
How can I forget you Mr. Raichand, I replied not even trying to hide the sarcasm.
I'm sorry he muttered.
What? I asked not sure of what I heard was right or wrong, him saying sorry?
I said I'm sorry Ms. Singhania, I shouldn't have spoke to you in that tone on that day, and I promise it won't happen ever again, he sighed.
How did you bothered to call me, I asked because I was still not sure he was genuine in his apology, people like him won't change I knew from my past experience but I let it be.
I need your help Shehnaaz, he spoke and I sighed because I know he was just loyal towards his work.
What kind of a help, I asked inspite of knowing what was about to follow.
The presentation you made for AS enterprises, you need to present that and maybe head that project too, he said.
I think you forgot, I am not your employee any more Mr. Raichand, I said.
I know and trust me I would have respected your decision, and will do that in future too but this time please rejoin the project Shehnaaz, just this and I promise then you can be free, he said
And I don't know why more than the guilt in his voice, something else was making me agree to this project, some unknown feeling of something going to change in my life.
I can't Mr. Raichand I spoke against myself this time because Aahnik will be left alone here.
Please Shehnaaz, don't do this please, he requested again.
I won't promise something I'm unable to do Mr. Raichand but if it's something important then maybe I could agree so tell me the reason why you, specifically want me when you have a Lot of talented employees.
And he detailed every thing that happened in the AS ENTERPRISES and I was impressed, there was some one else too who would consider his hobby as his passion
Fine I will try Mr. Raichand, I agreed but I was getting a different feeling, maybe something was going to change but I don't want any hopes.
Thank you so much Shehnaaz, He said genuinely happy.
Don't get false hope Mr. Raichand, only this project but I'm 100% sure I don't wanna work ahead with you after that, I said straight to the point because I don't want him to have hopes.
Fine I will give you your contract personally tomorrow, he said before hanging up.
I was about to do something related to the project when my phone rang again displaying 'Ashu'
Haan Ashu, pahunch gaya Tu I asked before someone could reply from the other side.
Hun te Ashu de alawa koi dikhna hi nhi hai tenu, said Nidhi in a teasing tone.
Zyada nhi ho raha Nidhi, said Ashu from behind.
Aap ko kya problem hai ek meri best friend hai aur dusre par toh mera pura haq hai, she said and I laughed.
Par maybe you are right uske husband ko pasand nhi aaya toh, Nidhi laughed again and I went silent.
Bas Nidhi, Ashu was stern again and I knew what was he thinking.
Nidhi Ashu ko phone de na zara, I said in a stern voice.
It's alright Shehnaaz, mood thik nhi hoga tu tension mat le, She said and I could feel her angry on him.
Nidhi Mujhe usse baat karni hai yaar please usse phone de, I requested this time and phone was passed to him in a second.
Sana: What the hell Ashu ye kya tareeka tha usse baat karne ka, she was just joking around and you know it.
Ashu: She needs to understand Shehnaaz where to put a line.
Sana: And how will she know? Sapne aayenge usko, nhi na.... She doesn't know it, uske according I'm happily married Ashu why don't you understand.
Ashu: I'm sorry I just can't see you getting hurt.
Sana: I know baba but mujhse pehle voh teri responsibility hai Ashu, biwi hai voh teri and I know Tu bahut pyaar karta hai usse.
Ashu: Khud se zyada.
Sana: Toh mere liye please don't spoil it, I'm happy in my life and you stay happy in yours.
Ashu: I am sorry I just got carried away, teri fikar ho rahi thi
Sana: I'm not weak Baba, I know what I'm capable of, and I know you didn't meant it in that tone but still it was wrong.
Ashu: I know, Ruk ek second.... Nidhi
Nidhi: Kya hai?
Ashu: Gussa hai?
Nidhi: ....
Ashu: Sorry na Sweetheart.
Nidhi: Don't you dare talk to me in that tone again.
Ashu: I promise I won't... I am sorry.
Nidhi: It's alright and main gussa nhi thi, I was just teasing you Ashu, pata hai mujhe stressed ho aap jab se aaye ho.
Ashu: Kaise....
Sana: O hello main abhi bhi line par hoon.
Ashu: haan toh it's not like you haven't seen it in real.
Nidhi: bas Ashu, besharam ho rahe ho.
Sana: ok guys you continue this, I will be leaving I need to pick up Aahnik
Ashu: I need to talk to champ Sanu.
Sana: Shaam ko karvati hoon, dhayaan rakho apna and continue with what you are doing.
I laughed and moved to pick up Aahnik when I saw his school is about to get over.
*
I reached his school and I knew I'm up for some scolding from Aahnik, he hates to get late and I am a whole 10 min late.
I parked the car at a distance and went near the gate when I saw him standing with someone who has a small little cute girl in his arms. I don't know why there was some different kind of sukoon in that air, there was a different pull towards that stranger but I shrugged it, I am definitely going crazy, first I felt this for Ashu's friend the one who called Nidhi and now this person whom I never even saw, before I could go further Aahnik came running up to me.
Aahnik bacha aaram se, I said and the same time I heard same words from that men, I felt I have heard him somewhere but, maybe on Nidhi's phone.... Maybe
Sana: Baby aise nhi bhagte na.
Aahnik: Aap kahan the abhi tak?
He said ignoring my question and with a sad pout on his face.
Sana: Mumma is sorry mera nona bacha, I got struck in traffic.
Aahnik: Oh is it.
He asked innocently and I nodded. He was telling me about someone named Aadia, and I just admired him.
Sana: Who is she?
Aahnik: She is sweet, so darpok mumma, voh toh baat bhi nhi kar rahi thi, but then we became friends she is super cute.
Sana: Acha ji.
Aahnik: Hmm.
Sana: Ok baki car main baat karenge, now c'mon get in
Aahnik: Just a second Mumma.
Sana: Kahan?
Aahnik: Coming.
And he ran again to that stranger, I could not see his face but I knew he is safe for Aahnik to be around, I don't know why but I felt Aahnik has no harm in being around them. I saw Aahnik kissing his cheeck and I smiled knowing my Aahnik very well, he does this only to those he considered his own, I was surprised that how in a meet he considered him his own, but I let it be after all Aahnik is just a 6 years old kid.
Aahnik: Chalo.
He said coming back and sitting in the passengers seat.
Sana: Belt Aahnik.
Aahnik (biting his tongue) : Offo I forget, dekho done.
I smiled at him and the whole way it was Just Aadia and her Dadda.
Aahnik: Mom he is smart.
Sana: Who?
Aahnik: Offo, Aadia's Dadda.
Sana: You know what Dadda is?
Aahnik: Yes, A name for Dad.
I have always told him that he has no one he could call Dad because I don't want my child to it from someone else, maybe I want him to see and try learning how to face different situations.
Sana: Aapko problem nhi hui usko uske Dad ke saath dekh kar.
I asked changing his uniform
Aahnik: Nhi, in fact I loved how they looked together.
Sana: You don't need a Dad?
I asked but I always dreaded this question, what if he needed one? What if I failed as a mother?
Nhi mumma I have you and that's enough, he said snuggling in me and I smiled and my eyes got teary eyed.
Aap roh kyun rahe ho, he asked wiping my tears.
Aise hi kuch chala gaya hoga ,aap rest karo, I will have to make a ppt now I said getting up once I made him have his food.
Ok mumma.
*
AS ENTERPRISES
The board read, I was feeling giddy from the morning but I didn't knew the reason.
Shehnaaz, I heard someone calling from me from behind.
I turned and saw Mr. Raichand there, with a smile plastered on his face, but I didn't felt like returning it. I'm doing this project because his company gave me everything in my life which I needed once and I'm just fulfilling my duty.
We should proceed I said in a professional tone and started moving towards stairs.
Lift, we can use life he said.
I turned back and replied,
"You may I don't want to Mr. Raichand I need to use the stairs."
Even I don't know why I said that, but I did what came to my heart, I heard my heart after whole 5 years except when it's for Aahnik, strange right but I shrugged it again.
Shrugging became my new habit, I think.
I was going towards the conference room but I think I entered a wrong cabin, it screamed excellence.
This cabin, this scent I think I have known it for years but I know I don't.
I was about to go back when the door suddenly opened and I lost my balance, but instead of falling down I felt someone holding me from my waist, the touch that actually pulled the strings I didn't wanted to come out, I was clutching someone's shirt in my fists but I didn't wanted to open my eyes in the fear of what might that person be thinking, but I did opened my eyes when I felt someone's gaze piercing directly through my soul, I found myself getting lost in those dark brown eyes, they felt familiar as if I know them from ages but I know I don't, I'm seeing this person for the first time, who was he? Why was he so familiar?
We were brought back to the world by a knock on his door and I didn't took a second even to leave his cabin after whispering I'm sorry.
I leaned against the wall once out of that cabin, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? WHY COULDN'T I TAKE MY EYES OFF HIM?
.
.
SURPRISE, I'M BACK AGAIN AND AN EARLY UPDATE THIS TIME.
HOW WAS IT?
THE FIRST MEET, ALTHOUGH FILMY BUT I THINK IT'S SPECIAL.
HOW WAS THE UPDATE?
I HOPE YOU LIKED IT?
NEXT UPDATE WILL TAKE TIME NOW.
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