"hyung..."
san stands by the end of chanhee's bed nervously as the pink-haired, who's laying over the duvet, picks up his head from his phone. now that he has the older's attention, san finds it even harder to find the right words.
"uh, could i—"
"this is about the party, right?" chanhee questions, glancing back down at the device in his hands.
nodding his head, san starts to pick at his fingers. "i was wondering if—"
"you want me to help you pick out an outfit, don't you?" chanhee knowingly interrupts him for the second time.
again, san nods, but this time with much more certainty. chanhee grins, throwing his phone besides him, before pulling himself out of bed. he grabs san by his wrist, and drags him towards his wardrobe. opening up the grand doors, chanhee's eyes briefly scan over the array of clothes. "do you have anything in mind?"
"about that, um... i-i wanted to- can i borrow one of your skirts?" san asks shyly, voice escaping as something close to a whisper.
chanhee gasps, smile only widening. "of course you can, little choi! is there any one in specific that you'd like?"
"not really. i-i don't really mind. honestly, i just wanted to try one out, and see if..."
"see how you feel in it?" chanhee finishes for san, earning a bashful nod of the head from him. "go sit and i'll find one that i think suits you best, is that okay?"
willingly obliging, san hums as he slumps down onto his bed, which was right besides chanhee's. he glances at the wall, the clock telling him that it's close to turning 6pm. the party starts at seven, meaning that the boy has at least an hour to be ready — more than enough time, since all he needs to do now is switch into a more suitable change of clothes.
suddenly, amidst the comfortable silence, chanhee calls out, "san-ah! come here for a second."
perking up at the latter's voice, the blond quickly heads over to him. all chanhee does is look san up and down for a moment, before nodding to himself in confirmation. his fingers brush against the fabric in his wardrobe, shortly halting on a piece of clothing he thought would be perfect.
san observes the checked, white and pastel blue skirt that chanhee pulls out; if he believed in love at first sight, there would've been no better time to quote a line from a sickeningly cliché romance film.
"can i try it on?" san instantly asks, catching chanhee off guard for a second.
"go, go, but come back quick! i wanna see!" the pink-haired squeals as he places the material into san's arms, ushering him to the bathroom that's joined to their shared bedroom.
san shuts the door behind him, holding the skirt up into the air, only now noticing how the colour of it is the exact same as the letter that he received a few days prior. the same letter that he stuffed into the pocket of his school bag for whenever he might need to hear those words again.
the mere thought causes the blond to smile.
hearing chanhee's impatient voice shouting for him, san hurries to pull off his sweatpants, before slipping the skirt on and up to his petite waist. peering out slightly first, he pushes the door open and steps into his room.
"ah, sannie, you're so adorable!" chanhee is practically jumping in excitement when san enters, and though the blond loves seeing him so happy, he grimaces at the loudness of his voice.
"thanks, hyung. but, please, for the love of god, quieten down. i don't plan on going deaf anytime soon."
chanhee just rolls his eyes, before turning back to his wardrobe. "whilst you were changing, i found something i thought would go with your skirt pretty well."
"you did? what is it?" san questions, taking a step closer.
when chanhee reveals the next part of the outfit, san gasps — eyes twinkling. a white, loose sweater is being displayed for him, and the pastel blue stripes sewn on the collar, sleeves, and hem of it are desperately screaming his name.
"you like it?"
san gives chanhee a look, one that causes the older to question his intelligence. "are you being serious? holy shit- i love it so much!"
"go try it on, then," chanhee insists softly.
not having to think twice, san returns to the bathroom and discards his t-shirt, throwing it onto the ground. he pulls the sweater that chanhee handed him over his frame, the light material fitting him just like he wished for, complimenting his skirt perfectly. walking past the mirror to get to the door, san stops in his tracks, and shamelessly admires his reflection.
pretty. i look... pretty.
and he really does, with the slight shimmer of his lips, with the faint, rosy hue over his cheeks, with his smudged winged eyeliner, with his glowing skin, with his wavy, golden locks; san looks absolutely divine, there's no doubt about that.
a pleased sigh leaves the boy's lips as he exits the bathroom, finding chanhee sitting on his bed again, occupied with his phone. but as soon as the door clicks shut behind san, he snaps his head towards the sound.
"wow, little choi, you look mesmerising..." chanhee says, mouth agape.
"and all because of you~" san smiles, grateful, before walking over to the older. he wraps his arms around chanhee's shoulders, satisfied when he returns the warm embrace. "thank you, hyung."
"of course, san-ah. but enough of this sappy shit, min's coming to pick us up in a few." chanhee removes himself from the hug, dragging his feet to his dresser.
"changmin hyung's picking us up?"
watching the latter add a few finishing touches to his appearance, san receives a hum as an answer to his question. shortly, chanhee spins around and beckons his brother towards him. "you all ready?"
"all ready," san confirms, despite feeling his nerves build up inside of him. this'll be his first party ever, plus, the entire school will probably attend, too; his anxiety acting up was expected, really.
"you sure? you took your meds today, right?" chanhee raises a questioning eyebrow.
san truthfully nods his head, though there's barely even small chance that the older believes him. it hurts the blond at times to know that chanhee finds it difficult to trust him, but it's his fault for lying. and there's no reason for san to be upset over it, because it's all his fault.
"i'll be fine, hyung. don't worry about me. now, let's go before we get late."
reluctantly complying, chanhee leads the way down the stairs, and san trails behind him. they say their quick goodbyes to the older's parents before exiting the house, being met with a striking red vehicle, which dazzles in the evening sky.
chanhee excitedly sprints over to the car, and is quick to hop into the empty passenger seat. chuckling to himself at the pink-haired's obviousness, san swings open the door of the backseat. already sitting there are chanhee's friends, kevin moon and lee juyeon, who have kindly left the younger boy more than enough space than necessary.
"there's no need for you two to be suffocating yourselves, you know?" san laughs, climbing into the vehicle. "i'm not royalty."
kevin and juyeon both shuffle sideways, now taking up their own respective seats rather than being squished onto one. "you definitely look like royalty, san-ah," the older of the two compliments.
"thanks, juyeon-ssi. you don't look so bad yourself." san buckles his seatbelt, and the car begins to move.
chanhee gags. "uh, could you not flirt with my friends thank you very much."
"i'm just being nice!" san defends. "i know that he's fucking that eric dude, anyway. i'm not one to home wreck any homosexual activity."
juyeon's cheeks burn a deep red, yet luckily for him no one seems to notice. well, maybe except kevin, who secretly snaps a photo of the male sitting besides him — to my knowledge, blackmail seems to be his specialty.
"ju's right, though. you look so pretty, little choi!" changmin chimes in, eyes on the road, finally conversing with someone who isn't chanhee.
"thank you, minnie hyung."
san's gaze travels to the window by his side, and he lets himself take in the beauty of the city. in his opinion, it looks much better during the evening, the sunset illuminating the place gorgeously. although he would like to get out of seoul the second he becomes legal, the blond can't deny that his city is beautiful.
drowning out his friends' loud bickering, which he somehow managed to do, san can't help but wonder if jung wooyoung will be at the party as well.
he heard from around school that the soccer team plan to be there, as a way to let loose before game season begins in two weeks time. if he had heard correctly, it's certain that his crush will attend; he's not just any player, he's the striker of the team. and to san, wooyoung is the one and only reason that their school is so successful in the soccer department.
san doesn't have even a tiny bit of interest in sports, physical education isn't his least favourite subject for no reason — if we exclude math — yet wooyoung's passion and dedication to his hobby is so god damn attractive to him.
and, you see, that's the thing, if san is possible of having an irreplaceable crush on a straight boy who strives off of kicking a ball around, then surely everyone else is, too. so, what makes san so special? what makes san believe that one day he'll get what he wants, or better yet, who he wants?
the boy can't answer that question. three years of asking himself it has passed, but he can't, and never has been able to answer it.
even though he's accepted his feelings for the unattainable wooyoung, san still feels so unbelievably pathetic for having the boy on his mind 24/7. sighing, he takes his eyes off of the scenery outside the car's window, and focuses on his friends as a way to hopefully distract himself.
"...dare you?! chicken nuggets are life!"
"what?! fried chicken supremacy! why am i even best friends with you, you unseasoned cabbage?!"
unfortunately for san, just as he decides to join the conversation taking place, kevin and juyeon are arguing, and over chicken of all things — nothing less is expected from them if we're being completely honest.
"can you two take this elsewhere? that would be very much appreciated."
getting involved in the lovely chaos named jukev certainly wasn't san's best idea. "oh, and look who's finally realised that they're an existence on planet earth," kevin remarks, tucking the hair that was falling onto his face behind his ear.
"hey! i was just... lost in my thoughts," san mumbles.
"because thinking about someone who you haven't even spoken to before can be very useful, right, little choi?" chanhee says teasingly. for a moment, san wonders if there's a way he could get away with pouncing onto his older brother and ripping out his voice box.
"please don't tell me he's still swooning over jung perfect wooyoung." the sarcasm in juyeon's voice is prominent, and san tries his best to simply act like it isn't there.
but before anyone can respond to the comment made, the vehicle halts, then its engine quietens down. "we're here, guys!" changmin cheerily reports.
at the news, san shifts to look outside of the window once again. the sun has set, the dark night sky now blanketing over; if it wasn't for the colourful, flashing lights, the surrounding areas wouldn't be visible. taking the boys by surprise, is an immense mansion, which towers over them in all its glory.
"isn't this supposed to be a high school party?" kevin questions, baring the same thoughts as san.
"yeah, are we at the wrong place?" so it seems like juyeon can agree with his best friend on something after all, but that's not important right about now.
"this is the right place, i'm sure of that," changmin tells them, before sitting upright and opening the door by his left.
chanhee mirrors his action, leading to san's instincts telling him that he should probably do the same. the icy air hits his face when he escapes the safety of changmin's car, kevin and juyeon wasting no time to follow him. becoming slightly panicked, san exhales a relieved a deep breath when he feels chanhee's hand slip into his.
his fingers curl around the older's tightly, as they begin to walk through the crowds of overexcited teenagers.
———
a/n: hi so next chapter is a party chapter 🤠 def not my specialty so pls don't expect much. anyway, cheerleader already has 500 reads??? it hasn't even been 2 weeks since i first published this wow this is insane, thank you all <33