Veronica
With my head bowed low, I stood in front of Caleb's building, arguing with myself whether I should go in or not. This had been my home with him... before.
It wasn't anymore.
I knew good things didn't last... Every time something good happened, it would be followed with something bad. And maybe, just maybe, this time it would be good again.
Last time I entered this building, I had gotten a new phone and a present for Caleb. Had he seen it yet? Did he keep it or throw it away?
Heart racing, I grasped my hands together and tried not to wring them. Was he home? Would he let me in? What if he refused to let me in?
If Caleb rejected me, I didn't know if I could handle it...
You rejected him first. What gives you the right to ask him not to reject you?
Nothing.
I want you to fight for me just as I fought for you. But you wouldn't.
I closed my eyes tightly. It hurt every time I heard his voice in my head. I wasn't ready before, but I was ready to hear everything he had to say now. Beatrice said they had kissed and implied that they did something more after.
Caleb said they didn't sleep together. Now that anger wasn't clouding my thinking, I realized that he had never lied to me before. If anything, he was too honest. Would he lie about something as serious as this? No, I realized, he wouldn't. And he... he was the only person who never gave up on me.
Don't ask me to let go of you. I can't...
But did he still want me? Had he let go of me after what I've done?
I took a deep breath, pushing away my fears. I had enough of letting them take over me... but I knew that wasn't true. My fears were nipping away at my heels, waiting to pounce at my slightest weakness.
Gathering my courage, I stepped forward and entered the lobby. And froze. Beatrice was walking out of the elevator, her steps fast and determined. What was she doing here?
No one was allowed to go up unless the receptionist called the tenant, and the tenant gave the go ahead. So Caleb must have told her to go up. It made me take a step back.
What if something was going on between them? What if Caleb had given up on me and realized I wasn't worth it?
No, no. Didn't you just say you believed him? You would fight for him?
Damn right I would fight for him.
Maybe Beatrice was trying to manipulate him again, pretending to be hurt and helpless to get what she wanted. If she tried anything with Caleb again, she'd get more than a slap from me this time.
The kiss last night wasn't his fault. It was mine, she had said.
Did he really kiss her? I had to know, and the only person that could tell me was Caleb. I needed to find him.
I narrowed my eyes as I watched her get into a taxi. She had changed her clothes since I saw her last. Appearing like an innocent dove, she was wearing a white baby doll dress that ended above her knees, her hair swept off from her beautiful face with a black headband. She had lost her heels in favor of white flats.
You'd never know that she was a snake behind that beautiful face.
Praying to God that Caleb hadn't removed me off the list, I casually strolled to the elevators and let out a relieved breath when security smiled at me and didn't stop me.
As the elevator climbed up, my heart started to race. I felt nervous, my hands clammy and cold as I gripped them together. When the elevator stopped at Caleb's floor, I took a deep calming breath and stepped out.
My steps were muffled by the carpet as I slowly neared his door. It was so quiet in the hallway that I could hear my heartbeat in my ears.
Please don't hate me.
Heart pounding, I stopped in front of his door, biting my lip. I had gotten used to coming in without knocking, but I knew that I had lost that privilege now.
Oh God. What if I lost him too?
Slowly, I raised my hand, forming my hand into a fist.
Just do it!
I closed my eyes tightly and knocked.
Nothing.
What if the receptionist had called him and told him I was on my way, and he didn't want to let me in? He had to let me in. He had to listen to me. He had to...
I knocked again. When there was no answer, I ignored the guilt I was feeling in invading his privacy and pressed the code to open the door.
Oh God, what if he changed the code?
But it opened easily.
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I stepped in. It was dark and quiet. I walked to the living room first, passing by the couch where Caleb loved to lay on then prop his feet on the coffee table. In my mind I saw him turn his head to look at me.
"What's for dinner, Red?"
My heart hurt. I blinked and he was gone. The blanket that he had covered me with that night I left him was still on the floor where I dropped it.
Had he not come home yet? Where was he?
I passed by the kitchen, smiling sadly when I remembered how he had cooked dinner a long time ago. I had made him wear an apron, and he had pouted while frying potatoes.
"Fries are ready! I will call it The Amazing Chef Caleb's fries!"
I remembered laughing. He had looked so proud. He had burned the fries and they were really salty, but I ate them all.
I miss him. God, I miss him.
Later on that day, we went to the balcony and studied for exams, but Caleb got bored quickly. He started playing with my hair, twirling it around his finger and tickling my cheek with it. When I ignored him, he pulled.
"Ouch. What the hell, Caleb!" It didn't really hurt, just startled me but I glared at him.
He just smiled at me cheekily, a naughty gleam in his eyes. Cupping my face, he turned me to face him and said, "If you blink, you want me."
"Wait, wait!"
I had blinked and laughed while he held on to my face.
"I knew it," he announced, grabbing my waist and pulling me on his lap. "I always knew you had the hots for me, Red."
He held on to me so that I wouldn't fall off his lap as he leaned forward to reach for my book. "Here, pretend I'm your favorite chair while you read your book."
I glared at him, but inside I was feeling giddy. I had been staring at the same page for ten minutes while Caleb embraced me to him, resting his chin on my shoulder and smelling my hair.
"I met an old friend the other day. I mentioned that you are my girlfriend, and she said she wants to meet you."
All I could think about was when he said she. He'd noticed that I had gotten quiet and changed the subject.
I blinked and pulled myself out of the memory. I realized now that his friend who wanted to meet me was Beatrice. That was weeks before I met her. So she had probably been scheming even then.
Even before I knocked on his bedroom door and there was no answer, I knew Caleb wasn't home. There was a charge in the air when he was in a room, and I always felt it. I always felt his presence, but this time I didn't.
Beatrice had just stepped out of the elevator. Had Caleb gone out with her, then? I didn't see him with her at the lobby, but his car was in the garage basement and he would have taken the back exit. I saw her take the taxi, and if they were going out, Caleb would have given her a ride.
I need to find him.
I made my way downstairs, half running to reach the parking lot. Cam tooted her horn when she saw me. I had texted her I would be at Caleb's. Grateful that she came to pick me up, I walked toward her.
"He's not home," I told her, feeling dejected.
Cam let out a loud sigh. "Well, hop in, girl friend. Detective Cam has all the skills you need."
I grinned. I loved my best friend.
A/N: Nothing inspires me to write more than the threat of exams.Ha-ha! So, hope you liked those flashbacks Ver had of Caleb :) And what do you think Beatrice was doing in Caleb's building? Ugh. Now I have to review, but I'll post the next one as soon as I finish writing it!