AN: It is now Sunday! Y'all know what that means...
Interrogation Monday is coming soon! Or, is it?
Don't worry. I forgot, too. 💀 That's why I'm saying it on this chapter, because it just turned Sunday in the Narutoverse.
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"Uncle Shishi, come play with us!" He heard little feet stomping on the ground, and everything felt cold and wet. He couldn't see anything.
"Maa-"
"-so demanding," Everything was so blurry. He could hardly make out any words.
"-not a weak old man!!" The voice was a little girls, very high pitched.
He heard a chuckle. It sounded deeper this time.
"-nice, seeing them have fun with someone."
The voice sounded like a woman's.
"-their father, you know..."
Huh?
Waking up drenched in sweat wasn't how Kakashi wanted to start his morning, but some things can't be helped, he supposed.
Sighing, he made his way to his bathroom, getting ready for a shower.
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Kakashi sat on his couch, looking at an old picture.
'It's been a while since I looked at this...'
He closed his eye. 'She has his vulgar language, and his teasing antics. It would make sense if they were related...'
Kakashi kept staring at the picture. It was a picture of his old friend, who died an unfortunate death. He couldn't believe it was Itachi Uchiha who killed him, as his friend always seemed to have a trick up his sleeve, but it seems he was no match for the Uchiha prodigy.
'I don't get it. He told everybody who asked he didn't want kids. He wanted to take care of an orphanage, but he never did. He believed he would show bias and favoritism, which was not his forté considering his own father preferred his brother. He believed he would make a terrible father, so why...?' Kakashi thought long and hard.
'He stayed in the village for years, never going outside the village unless it was for a mission. Sid came from outside the village, so maybe it was on one of his missions? He never once looked worried or guilty about missing her childhood, though. Almost as if he didn't know, or didn't care.'
Kakashi leaned back, putting a hand on his head. "Maa, I may be reading way too much into this."
He opened his eye. "But..."
"I know you from somewhere."
'She laughed off my accusation...' He narrowed his eye.
"You don't know me, don't be silly."
"Then why are you so familiar?"
"Maybe because you're comparing me with someone else?"
"Hmm....no, a face doesn't come to mind."
'I lied back then to see if I really did know her.' He thought. 'And if she knew me.'
"Of course a bastard like him doesn't remember."
'A bastard like him...she's talking about me, isn't she? I don't even know her, though. Just because she looks similar to one of the little girls in my dreams doesn't mean anything. It could be a coincidence. Besides, I can't even make any actual faces out in my dreams, just blobs and blurs. She looks a little bit like Daiki, but people can look similar without being related.'
Kakashi sighed. "So bothersome." He scratched the back of his head. "I'll worry about this some more later. She doesn't even look much like him, maybe I'm just overthinking things..."
With that, he looked at his living room clock, and got ready to take his new little genin out on another D-rank mission.
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"Over there." Naruto whispered before he and Sasuke moved swiftly.
I walked.
"What's your distance from the target?" I heard Kakashi in my ear.
"Five meters. I'm ready, just give the signal." Naruto replied.
Meters? The fuck is a meter? How long is it? HAH-that's what she said. But, seriously, I thought I was smarter than Naruto, but there he goes spouting some big brain words and shit. Sid thought.
"I'm ready, too." Sasuke said.
Silence.
"Sid?"
"What?" She asked sharply, her face screaming she's annoyed.
"Are you ready or do you need more time to pick your wedgie?"
"...I am done, yes, but you didn't need to do that, my bro. That was an unnecessary attack on my pride and ego, and I take great offense to the truth of that statement."
Silence, again.
Then Kakashi spoke up. "So, you're ready now?"
"This is bullshit."
"Okay...now!"
Naruto and Sasuke flung themselves at their target, only Naruto succeeding.
"Hehe! I got 'em, I got 'em!" Naruto cheered before getting attacked by the cat.
Sid scrunched up her nose. "I hate cats."
"Verified ribbon on right ear?" Kakashi questioned.
"Affirmative, we got a positive ID." Sasuke replied.
Sid leaned in close to help Naruto get off the ground. Naruto gripped her hand with much struggle. The cat was in one of his arms, glaring at her. It had stopped attacking Naruto for some weird reason.
That's sus as fuck. Sid narrowed her eyes as she helped Naruto up.
The minute he was standing up, the cat pounced.
It scratched Sid's face, trying to go for the eyes.
"AH, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!"
As the cat harassed Sid, Naruto couldn't help but ask.
"So, were you really picking your wedgie?"
"Help me, for fucks sake!" Sid said.
"Answer my question!" Naruto huffed.
Of course, Sid tore the cat off her, and instead, threw it at Naruto.
"You should've helped my ass, shortstick!"
"Short dick?!" Naruto exclaimed.
"Not what I said, but take it like that, I guess." Sid shrugged.
Sasuke pretended none of what just transpired happened, and that he heard none of it.
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"Aw, my poor little Tora! Mommy was so worried about her naughty little fuzzikins, yes!" The chubby women hugged her dearly beloved pet.
That's right, cry you little bastard. I hope all of your fur falls out. Her eye twitched.
"I hope that cat suffers." Sid glared at the beast that attacked her with no mercy.
"I think it already has." Sasuke muttered.
It hissed at Sid, raising its paw in a threatening manner.
"You wanna go, you little bitch?" Sid murmured angrily, raising a fist.
"Hahaha, stupid cat! That kitty deserves to be squashed!" Sid nodded her head in agreement at what Naruto said.
"Damn straight."
"Why'd you run away? No matter, I'm so happy!" The women said before she walked out of the Hokage's office.
"Now, for Team 7's next mission, there are several available tasks. Among them, babysitting the chief counselor's three year old, helping his wife do shopping, digging up potatoes, and-"
"NOOOO!" Naruto yelled. "I wanna go on a real mission! Something challenging and exciting, not this little kid stuff! Come on, old man!"
'He's got a point.' Sasuke thought.
'I knew this was coming.' Kakashi thought, a drip of sweat on the side of his face.
"Yeah, what the rugrat said. I knew Konoha was a goody-two-shoes country, but really? You have some lazy ass people here, old smokey."
"How dare you!? You're just a brand new genin with no experience! Like everyone else, you start with simple missions to develop your skills and prove yourself!"
"We're just built different. We're special badasses." Sid closed her eyes as sparkles surrounded her, a smirk playing on her lips.
Iruka turned to look at Sid, roaring at her next.
"And you! You're still an outsider, so don't act all high and mighty!! Don't you insult our people and disrespect Konoha!"
Outsider...Sid pursed her lips, looking away as she spoke.
"I can insult whoever or whatever I want, virgin. So shut the fuck up, you're just a chunin, after all. What say do you have in all of this? You teach leaches and rats, for Jashin sake." Sid huffed, crossing her arms, purposely avoiding eye contact.
"Being a teacher is highly important! If not for me and others, there'd be many uneducated students running around!"
Sid readjusted her position, shifting from one leg to the other before looking Iruka in the eyes.
"Admit it, you only became a teacher because you didn't see it in yourself to be a better ninja. You don't have it in you to become stronger because you were afraid of staying weak so you didn't even try."
"I...I...."
He didn't want that to be true.
Iruka was afraid. He used to be the clown clown, trying to laugh off his pain. But he was afraid. He'd been falling behind his other classmates. He was the bottom of the barrel. He thought just trying to catch up to them was enough, that he didn't need to strive to be better.
Because what if he couldn't be better?
What if he stayed the same and no progress was made? All that hard work and for what?
So, he figured that he could help others strive to be stronger instead. He could pass onto them the Will of Fire and such. Surely they would make progress.
Even if he was proud of himself for teaching his students, he was afraid it wasn't enough to help them. He was afraid of his teachings not being good enough. He was afraid he was a bad teacher, because if he's a bad teacher, then what was all that hard work for?
He didn't want to fail at teaching when he failed at being a ninja.
But how did she know?
Iruka shook his head, trying to push back those thoughts. "Don't talk to me in that tone, Sid!"
"You wanna act like you're so important when you're easily replaceable, with just one order from the Hokage's lips." Sid uttered darkly, turning away from him. She dodged a punch from Kakashi.
She looked at him, wondering why he tried to hit her. He looked at her with disapproval, shaking his head. She glanced at Iruka, noticing him seeming shaken up.
She ignored the guilt. All she said was the truth, just like him. She didnt understand the problem. He shouldn't have annoyed her. He shouldn't have called her an outsider. He shouldn't have hurt her fe-
No.
No.
"It's my turn to talk! Babysitting is not a mission it's just a stupid cho-" Kakashi punched Naruto's head, making him fall on the floor.
"Would you both put a lid on it?" He said.
Sid eyed Kakashi. "Your tone of voice was hot, but Nardo and I have a good ass point, something your perfect butt can't change."
Everyone in the room stared at Sid.
"...What?" She asked.
"Did you just say I have a perfect butt and my voice is hot?" Kakashi rose a brow.
"So what if I did? You gonna lock me up for speaking my mind? It's just the truth." Everyone kept staring at her.
"That's right, admire my beauty, bitches." Everyone looked away immediately, making Sid's jaw drop.
"Hey! I'm not ugly!"
"Naruto, Sid, I see you do not want to accept the tasks you've been given. Listen, many different kinds of requests come into our village every day, from babysitting to assassinations."
"Don't ignore me!"
"These requests are carefully recorded, anaylazed, then ranked A, B, C, or D, depending on their difficulty. We ninja are also ranked by ability, Hokage at the top, jōnin, chūnin, and genin at the bottom. At the highest level, we select the missions then assign them to ninja who have the appropriate skill and experience. And if the mission is successful, we receive a fee that supports our village, and our work. Since you are untried genin who just started out on the shinobi path, you are given D-level assignments, of course."
Although others would have zoned the Hokage's speech out, Sid didn't. Normally, she would've, but his voice was just so calm and soothing, and what he was talking about interested her in a way. How he was talking, Sid yearned for that, too.
It was like a grandfather trying to protect his grandkids by warning them of the dangers of the world.
If you get too high of a mission, you can die.
"So, I had this tonkatsu ramen yesterday, and I'm thinking miso ramen today-" Sid's ears suddenly picked up Naruto's voice.
"SILENCE!" The Third Hokage yelled.
You don't even gotta bet, the old man definitely just strained his voice yelling that. Sid thought.
"Oh, sorry." Kakashi rubbed the back of his head.
"You always lecture me like you're my grandfather or something! But I'm not the little brat who used to pull pranks all the time! I'm a ninja now, and I want a ninja mission! Mmhmm!"
But...doesn't he want a grandfather? Someone who cares for him, gives him advice, tells him stories full of danger and adventure? Sid shook the thoughts out of her head. Pfft-what am I thinking? I'm such a dumbass, thinking of shit that'll never happen to me, thinking of a grandpa who'll never care for me.
'I'm going to hear about this later..." Kakashi rubbed the back of his head.
A chuckle was heard in the room. "Naruto wants us to know that he's no longer a brat, he's a former brat, and he and Sid want a mission. So be it."
Sid perked up. Is he...
"Since you are so determined, I'm willing to give you a C-ranked mission. You'll be bodyguards on a journey."
Naruto turned around in his spot on the floor. "Really? YES!"
He stood up. "Who, who!? Are we guarding a princess, or some big counselor?"
"Don't be so impatient. I will bring him in now. Send in our visitor!"
Sid observed the old man that walked in. He looked poor, whether she could tell that from the rags-for-clothes he was wearing, or the cheap stench that was filling the air.
How did she know the saké was cheap? Simple. She's drank alcohol before, and that was one of the nasty ones only bums could afford.
Meaning, this man was poor, and was able to pay for a C-rank mission?
Sus. She quickly thought.
"What the-? A bunch of snot nosed kids?!"
"Hey, those were the rats back at the academy! We're upgrades compared to those little bitches!" Sid barked.
"Rats? You have rats here?"
"No, boomer, it's just an insult, like the image you're giving us right now. It's insulting." Sid deadpanned. "You're insulting."
"What'd you say, brat?"
"I said it like it is."
"Agh, whatever!"
The old man drank some of his disgusting beverage, his eyes hazed, the area around his eyes was all red.
"And you, the little one, with the idiotic look on your face. You really expect me to believe you're a ninja?"
Naruto laughed. "Ahahaha! Who's the little one with the idiotic look on his face?!"
Sasuke and Sid stepped up, standing beside him. Sid was two inches taller than Sasuke, making her 5'2 and making Sasuke 5'0. Naruto was 4'9.
"I'll demolish you! Let me get my hands on him!" Kakashi held Naruto by his shirt collar.
"You can't demolish the client, Naruto."
"C'mere!" Naruto told the client, aching to make him feel the pain his ego was feeling.
"I am Tazuna, master-"
Of the four elements-Sid joked inside her mind.
"-bridge builder-"
Oh, he's one of those boring alcoholic's that are actually useful.
"-and I must return to my country."
Then turn your ass back around-
"I'm building a bridge there that will change our world, and I expect you to get me there safely even if it means giving up your life."
Giving up our lives? The fuck? This old man payed enough for a C-rank, and that's all he's getting. Putting my life down for a stranger, yeah right. Death is knocking on his door, especially with that alcohol. Dude might as well go kill himself. Wait-but why would a bridge builder even be targeted? There must be something bigger going on. He could've stayed in his homeland and just built the bridge, but he needs protection from what? Why would someone want to kill a bridge builder? I would suspect he was a master spy sent to either assasinate someone on our team, or gather information, but I know acting when I see it. I've seen plenty fake people to spot good ass acting, and sadly, this guy's alcoholic bum look is actually the real him. But...it still doesn't make sense.
She narrowed her eyes. I'll have to think about this more. Like he told me to.
She glanced up at Kakashi, who was chilling with his hands in his pockets.
"Try not to overanalyze everything, but make sure you definitely rethink everything. If you want to be a ninja, that's a survival skill you'll need to pick up."
Hopefully I'm not just overanalyzing the situation. She thought.
"Sid?" Sid looked over at Naruto, seeing Sasuke walk out the door.
"Where's the douche going?" She asked, pointing at Sasuke.
"Teme is going to go pack his things. Aren't you gonna go do the same?" He tilted his head.
Huh. That's cute. Sid's mind then froze. Wait-what?
"Uh-yeah, believe it, I'm gonna go pack."
"Hey, that's my line!"
"What is?"
"Believe it! I say that! But you just said it!" Naruto grinned up at her.
"Oh. Yeah. I guess I did. Huh." She blinked.
Naruto looked at her all strange. "Hey, are you okay? You're acting kinda weird, believe it."
"I am? I mean-I'm just limited edition, bitch. This is one of my many forms." She posed confidently before making a dash to the window.
"Alright, adios!" She threw a tiny explosion bomb at the window, making the wall around it crack and fall. The window itself broke, the glass shattering, falling below.
"My leg!" A random citizen called out.
"Sorry!" Sid yelled as she threw herself out the window.
'My window...' The Third Hokage thought.
"Ah, I'm sorry for Sid's actions." Kakashi sheepishly said as Naruto shook his head in confusion before going to go pack his bag.