📌 Stirling, Scotland, UK
As I browsed through my pictures of Sacramento, my phone started to ring, then I saw Brad calling me through Snapchat, seeing that I messaged him to call me after I added him.
"Hey, are you missing my beautiful voice?" Brad said after I picked up, then I playfully rolled my eyes.
"In your dreams, Brad. I was actually hoping that it was my sugar daddy calling," I said a little too comfortably, which worried me a little, but before I could take it back, Brad played along.
"Darling, I have been paying for your expenses during the entire day. If it means anything, I am your sugar daddy."
"Yeah, with the money I gave you."
"Shit. I was hoping you'd leave that out."
We both laughed, relieved that we were able to understand each other and not take each other too seriously, then he cleared his throat.
"Seriously, though, how are you? You wanted me to call; is everything alright?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. I have unfortunate news, though. My dad didn't allow me to come with you tomorrow. Aside from the fact that you're a complete stranger to him and that he's looking out for my safety, he also wants me to make amends with my siblings first."
"Oh, that's a shame. Although, I hope you manage to do what he asks you to. Did you at least give your brother his cupcake?"
"Yeah. Not sure if he ate it, though. I just put the cupcake by his door, knocked on it, then left before we could talk. I really don't want to face any of my family at the moment; I don't know what to say to them."
"Isn't that...bad, though? Your brother may think that your apology is insincere."
"You have a point. But, I don't want to talk unless I'm 100% sure that they'll understand that I feel lonelier whenever I'm with them, and the fact that they keep negatively comparing me to my dad doesn't make any sense."
"I can see where you're coming from, but you have to know that there's no harm in trying to talk, Cai. At least you were mature enough to make a move to communicate; if they won't listen or empathize with what you have to say or what you feel, then that's on them. It's your responsibility to say what you honestly feel about them, but then it's also their responsibility to understand where you are coming from."
"You're right. But, either way, I just feel like it would be a waste of time if I talk to them only to have nothing in return. I'd rather bury my problems to the ground than have them get thrown back to my face."
I sighed as I brushed some of my hair back, then Brad stayed silent.
"I have spent my entire life with Papa. Them comparing me to him should be a compliment, seeing as he's an angel to me, but it's not. Oslo said that I was faking being nice, just like Papa. What does that even mean?"
"Maybe you can talk to him about it? I don't think I can help in this department, especially since I'm not your brother."
"It's fine. You listening to what I have to say already helps a lot."
"Good to know. I try my best."
I chuckled to myself, then I heard someone knocking on my door. I immediately said goodbye to Brad before going, and when I went to open my door, I saw my sister standing outside with her arms crossed over her chest.
"Where's my cupcake?"
"In the laundry with the gown you splashed wine on. By the way, that was Dad's special wine; the least you can do is be grateful that he didn't kill you for wasting it."
"What did I even do wrong, Cai? I treated you like my best friend out of nothing but love, but it's Oslo that receives affection? He doesn't even like red velvet cupcakes; those are my favorite. You know that I didn't mean to splash you with wine, right?"
It was at this moment when I felt my fist crunching to a ball out of annoyance. I may have convinced myself to take up a martial art so I could finally defend myself from my sister whenever we would have fights, but it was also that martial art which taught me to control my temper and never use my skills for violence, only for self-defense.
"I'm sorry, Victoria. I promise I won't forget about you next time."
"Indeed, you shouldn't. You have no right to make me feel inferior and left out inside of my own family, so, yeah, apology not accepted," Victoria said after rolling her eyes, then she strutted away from my door, which I closed.
I waited more than an hour before someone knocked on my door, then I saw my dad with a tray of food—a bento box with shrimp tempura, dumplings, shredded carrots and cabbage, a take-out box filled with assorted sushi, and a glass of what looks like Sprite with Kool Aid.
My favorites.
"Can we talk?"
I let my dad in my room, then he put the tray at my desk, asking me to sit on the chair before sitting on my bed.
"You still remember my favorite food."
"I admit, I had to ask for some help."
I laughed before opening the box of sushi and handed it to my dad, who took one as I prepared the dip. After he gave me the box back, he cleared his throat.
"I'm sorry for unfairly comparing you to your dad. It was very low of me; I have no excuse."
"It's okay. I'm sorry for the way I acted when you didn't allow me to go to Glasgow. I understand that you're looking out for me, and, yeah, mingling with strangers is risky."
"It's alright, darling. No offense taken."
I smiled before getting the chopsticks and putting a sushi in my mouth, and when my dad asked for some, I willingly gave him his favorites.
"When Victoria said that Sofia was going to be her maid of honor, I was expecting it, but I felt sad. Right after that, she told me that she had no intention inviting you or your dad, and while I understand her grudge with your dad, I never understood what her deal was with you. I threatened to cut off the financing for her wedding if she doesn't make you the maid of honor, and when she complied, we sent the invite."
"Must be why Sofia was so mad. She wouldn't stop expressing how much she hated me since I got here. Although, it was unfair of you intervene with Victoria's plans, if I have to be honest, especially if Sofia's destined to be the maid of honor after all."
Dad smiled before looking at the ground and chuckling, which was a sign that he took it lightly. Although I've been closer to Papa, there's no denying that Dad can understand me more whenever we talk one on one.
"It was, but I wanted you to be here. We barely get to see you, and this was the one time that we had a valid excuse to see you, and I wanted to make sure that you will be with us, so I wanted you to have a major role. I failed to see how you wouldn't like it, though, especially with how Victoria treats you on a daily basis."
"It's fine, Dad. It's all part of living. I hate it here because of her, but at the same time, there's no denying that I was able to enjoy it here when I was out exploring. Sometimes, however, it goes out of balance, so I'm either really upset or really happy that I do things I don't mean."
"Is that what you want to do, Cairo? Travel the world?"
"Hmm...not exactly? It's a little complicated."
"Try me."
I put the lid back on the sushi box, then I lifted my legs up, hugged my knees, and looked at my dad as if he were my therapist.
"I've been consciously bottling my emotions up since I was 14, Dad, and I loathe it so bad. Travelling to new places is my escape. When I travel, I feel like I really have to make the most of the whole experience, so I forget my problems and face them later on once I've had a better mindset. You can have only one shot at visiting places for the first time, and I don't want to ruin my memories."
"I feel the same way as you, but with each day. I can spend every day only once, but, sometimes, I have bad days, and to counter them, I focus on the present and start from there to hopefully weave a better future. Maybe we can somehow relate to each other with that?"
I nodded my head, realizing that I should probably apologize to my sister for how I've been acting. Although being nice to her probably won't or may change things between us, it's better for me to do something that will keep my mind in peace, and that is to give as much kindness as I can to the world.
"Will you and Papa ever tell me what happened between the two of you? When Oslo had his little outburst at me, he said that I was just faking being nice, like Papa. What does he mean by that?"
My dad looked at the ground and took a deep breath, and when he looked at me again, I saw that his eyes, which were initially radiating amenable warmth, were now showing melancholy.
"Things were done, many was said, and instead of going through the process where two people fix a relationship, we went the other way instead. I'm so sorry, Cai, but what your dad and I did was just unacceptable for you, our children. Look at what it did to Oslo. He barely shares with us and it pains me to see how he turned out."
"I understand you, Dad, and I completely respect your choice, especially if you're not ready. But, if you're making that choice simply because you are scared that I will not handle it well, let me tell you this: at the end of the day, I would like it more if people would just be straightforward to me. I may not handle things well at first, but I'll bounce back. At least, that's what my therapist has been helping me do."
My dad gave me a small smile, then he asked me to sit beside him. Once I did, he asked me to lay my head on his shoulder, which I did, then he held my hand.
"You know what? If travelling is your way of dealing with all the bad things in your life, then let it be. You can go to Glasgow tomorrow, but I have to meet this man first."
I blinked my eyes in disbelief. He was adamant not to let me go just hours ago; how is he confident now?
"Really, Dad? Because, honestly, now that I think about it, I want to be sure that you're 100% okay with me doing it."
"See, here's the thing. I'm not totally okay with it, but if it will make you happy, then who am I to stop you from doing that? I should let you make your own decisions, seeing as you're a responsible adult already, but that's why I have to meet him first, though. I want to make sure that he has no malicious intentions towards you."
"Thank you so much, Dad. And, I promise. You'll meet him first thing tomorrow morning."
---
"So, how was it?" I asked Brad, who walked out of my father's office.
"I'm still alive, so that's a good sign."
I laughed before clearing my throat.
"Shall we?"
● - last edited - ☆ - 30.03.22 - ●