[ tw // death , suicide ]
empty.
empty.
empty.
his heart , once full of love for venti, was now empty. he laid in bed , staring blankly at the walls. tissues littered the floor, as well as food containers from before. turning , he stares at his door , and the white paper bag that hung at the knob.
the paper cranes. what he thought would have been a miracle turned out to be a sham, his wishes unanswered. "remember !! when you fold a thousand cranes , it'll grant you a wish ! in the future , when you're done , let's hang them in our room !" the line venti had said to him replayed over and over , sounding more and more distorted every time. screaming , xiao falls to the floor , laying there as tears rolled down his face.
"why , why , why , WHY-"
"why did you leave me here.."
his voice chokes from the tears , his head pounding.
slowly forcing himself up , he staggers towards the door , grabbing the paper bag and tearing it.
the multicolored cranes scatter to the floor , surrounding him. cupping his hands , he scoops up the cranes , staring at them blankly. tears continue to roll down his face as he walks to grab a needle , thread , tape , glue and a rope.
carefully , he lets go of the cranes onto the floor. sitting on the floor , he starts to thread the needle through the middle of the cranes , a single crane for each length of thread. as he has never done this before , the needle pricks his fingers , staining the cranes with blood. however , he paid it no mind , his mind too numb to feel anything.
the smell of blood soon started to fill the room , the cranes stained with more blood from his pricked fingers. placing the last one into the pile next to him , xiao grabs a stool nearby , and with tape , starts to tape all 999 cranes on the ceiling. as he finishes the last one , he lays on the floor and stares at the ceiling above him. various cranes on different colors hang above him , ranging from reds to purples. closing his eyes , he remembers the argument between him and zhongli.
"you can't do this ! you fucking monster , how DARE you ? and i thought you were FRIENDS."
"shut up , you don't know ANYTHING. he asked me to do this ! this is torture to him. he deserves freedom , xiao. you can't keep on doing this. let him go , it's over."
freedom.
what is freedom?
grabbing the rope , his grip around it grows stronger as he continues thinking.
"xiao , let's grow old together. i love you"
"xiao , look at this ! let's do this in the future together !"
"you'll make the that cake soon , right ? i can't wait !"
...
'i'm sorry.'
grabbing the stool , he stands on it , his hands tying knots around the rope. in his hand held the rope , as well as the thousandth crane. gently holding the crane between his lips , he uses both hands to loop the rope around his ceiling fan.
"huh. i never thought it'd be like this."
without hesitation , he puts his head through the loop and grabs the crane from his lips. looking at it , he sighs , gripping it tight in his fist.
"if only this worked."
looking around him one last time , he laughs. the laugh was hollow , lifeless. kicking away the stool beneath his feet , he falls. as he begins to struggle , he feels the air from his lungs slowly emptying out. letting out a strangled breath, he starts to choke.
"so.. this is what freedom.. feels like"
at last , his breath stops and his grip loosens and as his eyes close , the last paper crane falls the floor ; and like how glass shatters as it hits the floor , xiao's hopes and dreams to share a future with the love of his life were shattered as the crumpled paper crane falls to ground.