Harry Potter and Claire Smith...

Door MykalaMcGuire

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The third book in the series is called Guilty Until Proven Innocent. A mass murderer escapee from Azkaban, Si... Meer

Mr. Weasley's Wonderful News
The Talk and Egypt
An Interesting Summer
Emotions
Dementors Aren't the Nicest Beings
The Inner Eye and the Hippogriff
The Fender, The Drums, and The Solo
Hogsmeade, Tea, and Conversations
The Marauder's Map
Kisses, Feuds, Vinyls, and Brooms
Crumbling Friendships
The Werewolf's Advice
Dementors and Dates
The Quidditch Cup Final
The Seer's Prediction
Animagi and Boxing Branches
Moony's Tale
The Mask Of Peter Pettigrew
Pettigrew Escapes and Dementors Again
The Time-Turner
Yelling at Boxes
Proof
Summer Plans
Book Four is out!
Rewriting Stories

Saxton, Song, Snape, and a Snapped Broom

296 8 1
Door MykalaMcGuire

Chapter 9: Saxton, Song, Snape, and a Snapped Broom

Professor Dumbledore sent all the Gryffindors back to the Great Hall, where they were joined ten minutes later by the students from Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin, who all looked extremely confused.

"The teachers and I need to conduct a thorough search of the castle," Dumbledore told them as Professor McGonagall and Flitwick closed all doors into the hall. "I'm afraid that, for your own safety, you will have to spend the night here. I want the prefects to stand guard over the entrances to the hall and I am leaving the Head Boy and Girl in charge. Any disturbance should be reported to me immediately," he added to Percy, who was looking immensely proud and important. "Send word with one of the ghosts."

Professor Dumbledore paused, about to leave the hall, and said, "Oh, yes, you'll be needing…"

He waved his hand and the long tables were replaced with hundreds of squashy purple sleeping bags. Professor Dumbledore wished them all a good night's rest before closing the door behind him. The hall immediately began to buzz excitedly; the Gryffindors were telling the rest of the school what had just happened. Percy began bellowing at the students to get into their sleeping bags and to stop talking.

"C'mon," Ron said to Claire, Harry, and Hermione; they seized four sleeping bags and dragged them into a corner.

"Do you think Black's still in the castle?" Hermione whispered anxiously.

"I think Black's long gone. Well, I hope he is anyway. Don't you think it'd be stupid for him to hang around when he was seen by the Fat Lady?" Claire said.

"Black's not in his right mind and Dumbledore obviously thinks he might still be in the castle," Ron said.

"It's very lucky he picked tonight, you know," Hermione said as they climbed fully dressed into their sleeping bags and propped themselves on their elbows to talk. "The one night we weren't in the tower…."

"Who's to say that that wasn't part of his plan?" Claire stated. "He could've planned it that way seeing as practically the whole school was gone today. He would've snuck into the tower and waited for Harry and me to show and…."

Claire trailed off but Ron, Hermione, and Harry seemed to get what she was about to say. Hermione shuddered.

All around them, people were asking one another the same question: "How did he get in?" Several feet away from them, a Ravenclaw had said that he had apparated, while a fifth year Hufflepuff suggested that he'd disguised himself. Dean Thomas had said that he'd flown in.

"Honestly, am I the only person who's ever bothered to read Hogwarts, A History?" Hermione said crossly to Claire, Harry, and Ron.

"Probably," Ron said. "Why?"

"Because the castle's protected by more than walls, you know," Hermione said. "There are all sorts of enchantments on it, to stop people entering by stealth. You can't just Apparate in here. And I'd like to see the disguise that could fool those dementors. They're guarding every single entrance to the grounds. They'd have seen him fly in too. And Filch knows all the secret passages, they'll have them covered…."

"You know, this castle is hundreds of years old," Claire began, "It's possible that there are entrances that faculty and we don't even know about. Take the Chamber of Secrets as example. It was believed to be a myth and yet we found it last year."

"I suppose so," Hermione said. "But Black still would've been spotted by someone."

"Well, remember first year when Professor McGonagall turned into a cat?" Claire said. "Maybe Black's an Animagus too."

"The lights are going out now!" Percy shouted. "I want everyone in their sleeping bags and no more talking!"

The candles all went out at once. The only lights now came from the silvery ghosts, who were drifting about talking seriously to the prefects, and the enchanted ceiling, which, like the sky outside, was scattered with stars. What with that, and the whispering that filled the hall, Harry felt as though he were sleeping outdoors in a light wind.

Every hour, a teacher would reappear in the hall to check that everything was quiet. Around three in the morning, when many students had finally fallen asleep, Professor Dumbledore came in. Harry watched him looking around for Percy, who had been prowling between the sleeping bags, telling people off for talking. Percy was only a short way away from Harry, Claire, Ron, and Hermione, who quickly pretended to be asleep as Dumbledore's footsteps drew nearer.

"Any sign of him, Professor?" Percy asked in a whisper.

"No. All well here?"

"Everything under control, sir."

"Good. There's no point moving them all now. I've found a temporary guardian for the Gryffindor portrait hole. You'll be able to move them back in tomorrow. We found the Fat Lady hiding in a map of Argyllshire on the second floor. Apparently she refused to let Black in without the password, so he attacked. She's still very distressed, but once she's calmed down, I'll have Mr Filch restore her."

Harry heard the door of the hall creak open again, and more footsteps.

"Headmaster?" It was Snape. Harry kept quite still, listening hard. "The whole of the third floor has been searched. He's not there. And Filch has done the dungeons; nothing there either."

"What about the Astronomy tower? Professor Trelawney's room? The Owlery?"

"All searched…."

"Very well, Severus. I didn't really expect Black to linger."

"Have you any theory as to how he got in, Professor?" Snape asked.

Harry raised his head very slightly off his arms to free his other ear.

"Many, Severus, each of them as unlikely as the next."

Harry opened his eyes slightly and saw that Snape's profile looked angry.

"You remember the conversation we had, Headmaster, just before—ah—the start of term?" Snape said, who was barely opening his lips.

"I do, Severus," Dumbledore said, with a sort of warning tone.

"It seems—almost impossible—that Black could have entered the school without inside help. I did express my concerns when you appointed—"

"I do not believe a single person inside this castle would have helped Black enter it," Dumbledore said, and his tone made it so clear that the subject was closed that Snape didn't reply. "I must go down to the dementors," Dumbledore said. "I said I would inform them when our search was complete."

"Didn't they want to help, sir?" Percy said.

"Oh yes," Dumbledore said coldly. "But I'm afraid no dementor will cross the threshold of this castle while I am headmaster."

Percy looked slightly abashed. Dumbledore left the hall, walking quickly and quietly. Snape stood for a moment, watching the headmaster with an expression of deep resentment on his face; then he too left.

Harry glanced sideways at Claire, Ron, and Hermione. They all had their eyes open too, reflecting the starry ceiling.

"What was that all about?" Ron mouthed.

The next morning, everyone went up to their house common rooms. The Gryffindors followed Percy to Gryffindor Tower.

"I wonder who'll be replacing the Fat Lady," Dean Thomas said as they neared the Gryffindor tower.

"Who cares?" Seamus said. "Anyone will be better than the Fat Lady and her voice shattering our eardrums instead of her glass."

They soon arrived at Gryffindor tower and Harry, Claire, Ron, and Hermione caught a glimpse at a familiar portrait.

"Oh God," Claire groaned.

"Halt! Tell me the password or draw your swords you knaves! " It was the portrait of Sir Cadogan and his fat gray pony.

"The password is Jalopey." Percy said to Sir Cadogan.

"Incorrect!" Sir Cadogan shouted.

"That's impossible!" Percy exclaimed. "I just received the password today."

"I changed it." Sir Cadogan replied.

"We're gonna be here all day." Ron muttered.

"At least then we won't have to go to our classes." Claire said.

"Fair Maiden?! Tis it really you!?" Sir Cadogan had spotted Claire in the crowd. The other students turned to where he was looking at. Claire hid behind Harry. Ron snickered as Claire glared at him.

"What are you doing?" Harry whispered to Claire.

"Using you as my hiding spot. Got a problem with that?" Claire said.

"Claire, you're being ridiculous!" Hermione said, pulling Claire out from behind Harry.

"Do I look like a boggart to you?" Claire glared at Hermione.

Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Tis is!" Sir Cadogan exclaimed happily when he saw Claire. The other Gryffindors seemed to be laughing. "What can I assist thou with?"

"Can you please just let us in the tower?" Claire asked, feeling like hiding under a rock would the best option at the moment.

"I'm afraid I must hear the password first, milady," Sir Cadogan said. "Seeing as no one knows what it is I shall give ye a hint. This word is used for 6 shillings and 8 pence and I daresay you resemble this."

"Angel." Hermione said.

"Correct." The portrait opened and everyone scrambled in.

"How'd you know the password Hermione?" Ron asked.

"Simple, really," Hermione said as they made their way through the portrait. "Angel is a medieval term for 6 shillings and 8 pence. Also, Sir Cadogan kept calling Claire a fair maiden which could also mean angel, as in someone who's pretty."

"Ok," Claire said before they discussed the incident anymore. "We'd better get ready before all the breakfast is gone. C'mon Hermione," Claire grabbed Hermione by the arm and they both headed upstairs to change.

The next few days, Sirius Black seemed to be the only thing that was talked about. The theories on how he entered the castle became wilder and wilder. There was one particular theory that Black had turned into a flowering shrub and entered the castle that way.

Sir Cadogan seemed to be getting on not just Claire's nerves, but the whole Gryffindor house's. Claire particularly had a hard time getting into the tower because Sir Cadogan would try to make small talk with her or flirt with her which made Claire very uncomfortable. Also, he would change the passwords two to three times a day to ridiculously complicated passwords and challenged people to duels.

"He's a complete lunatic," Seamus said angrily to Percy.

"At least you aren't being hit on by him," Claire said. "I have to wait half an hour before he lets me in even if I know the password because he wants to talk with me. Can't we get anyone else for the job?"

"None of the other pictures wanted the job," Percy said. "Frightened of what happened to the Fat Lady. Sir Cadogan was the only one brave enough to volunteer."

Needless to say, Claire wasn't thrilled nothing could be done about the portrait and just hoped that the Fat Lady would return soon. However, it seemed Sir Cadogan wasn't the only worry Claire had. Claire, along with Harry, were now being closely watched. Teachers found excuses to walk with them in the halls, and Percy (acting, they both suspected, on his mother's orders) was tailing them everywhere like an extremely pompous guard dog. Professor McGonagall summoned them both into her office, with such a somber expression on her face they thought someone must have died.

"There's no point in hiding it from the both of you any longer, Potter, Smith," she said in a very serious voice. "I know this will come as a shock to you, but Sirius Black—"

"We know he's after us," Harry said wearily. "Ron's parents told us."

Professor McGonagall seemed taken aback at first. She then turned to Claire and said, "Then I assume they told you that Black's your—"

"Uncle? Yes, they did." Claire replied.

"I see. Well, in that case, you'll understand why I want you both to remain inside the castle at all times and to never wander off alone. And Potter, I don't think it will be a good idea to practice Quidditch in the evenings. Out on the field with only your team members, it's very exposed, Potter—"

"We've got our first match on Saturday!" Harry said, outraged. "I've got to train, Professor!"

After a few moments, Professor McGonagall said, "Well….goodness knows, I'd like to see us win the Cup at last, but all the same, Potter….I'd be happier if a teacher were present. I'll ask Madam Hooch to oversee your training sessions. You both may leave now."

Harry and Claire walked to the Great Hall for dinner.

"I'll be glad whenever Black's caught." Claire muttered. "I feel like a two-year-old being babysat and I don't like it."

"Neither do I." Harry agreed.

"At least you'll still get to practice for the Quidditch match," Claire said.

"Yea," Harry said.

The day before the match came and while Harry was at his Quidditch practice, Claire decided, despite Professor McGonagall's warning, to sit by the Black Lake by herself. She wasn't completely alone. There were other students near by doing homework and she was prepared with her wand next to her and a mental list of jinxes in her head in case something happened. Claire rummaged through her school bag trying to find her Defense Against the Dark Arts book. However, a familiar blue book caught her eye in her bag. She pulled it out. It was the blue journal she got in first year. It had been a long time since she had even touched the book. Claire took off her locket and placed it in the locking mechanism on the journal. The journal clicked opened and Claire put her necklace back on before turning the page. On the first page, there was a note written by River Song. However, it seemed a bit different than Claire remembered.

Dear Claire,

It's about time you opened the journal! It's been two years! Of course, you and your father tend to have a rubbish concept of time.

Don't worry if this note seems a bit different from when you first read it. I'm not a memory trapped in a diary trying to drain your life. Let me just say that it's very important from this moment forward to open this journal as much as possible. Things are about to take a turn for the worst and this journal will be the only thing that can help you. I know right now your uncle has escaped from prison but perhaps you should do some research on him. Maybe he isn't all bad. As far as your friend Ron's rat, he has been a very sneaky rodent. Black and the rat have something in common: they lost something.

I think I've given you enough to work on. Remember to expect the unexpected.

Spoilers,

River Song

P.S. Don't trust the drums and that blue box you keep seeing is the key.

Claire wondered how this person knew about Sirius Black and about last year's incident. It seemed this person knew a lot about her; more than they would reveal. Claire flipped to the next page. It was the picture of the Sonic Screwdriver. She flipped two more pages and Claire was shocked. It was a picture of a blue police box. The same box that she saw in the Mirror of Erised back in first year, in her dreams, and on the wall of King Tutankhamen's tomb. The top of the page was labeled TARDISWhat an odd name? Claire thought. She began to read the paragraph.

T.A.R.D.I.S (aka TT Capasule) stands for Time And Relative Dimension In Space. It is a space-time vessel that originated from the planet Gallifrey, home to an alien race called the Timelords. Only a single TARDIS has survived from the Last Great Time War. This TARDIS was 'borrowed' by one of the last remaining Timelords, the Doctor.

"Interesting book you got there." Claire looked up from her book and saw Jason Saxton.

Claire shut her book and put it into her bag. "It's rather boring."

"Really?" Jason said. "Because you certainly looked captivated by it.

Claire slung her bag over her shoulder. "What do you want?"

"I wanted to know if you considered my offer of being my friend?" Jason asked.

"Yes," Claire replied.

"And?" Jason said anxiously.

"I still don't get why you want to be my friend so badly." Claire said.

Jason sighed. "To be completely honest, I don't know either."

"How do I know this isn't one of Malfoy's tricks? That you're just trying to get close to me and my friends to find out our secrets and tell Malfoy about them?" Claire questioned.

"Why would I do that? I'm not even Malfoy's friend." Jason said.

"Then why do you hang around them all the time?" Claire asked.

Jason shrugged his shoulders. "I don't hang around them all the time."

There was a few awkward moments that passed before Claire spoke up.

"Yes."

Jason looked at her. "What?"

"Yes, we can be friends." Claire said. "But I'm warning you right now, you try anything funny and you'll be sorry. I've learned a lot of jinxes and I won't feel bad practicing them on you."

Jason smiled. "Spoken like a true Gryffindor."

Claire smiled back slightly. "Well, I'd better go. I have to get to class."

"Sure. I'll see you around, Claire." Jason said.

"See you around, Jason." Claire wasn't really sure how she felt about being his friend but she was prepared if he tried anything. As she walked backed to the castle, she saw movement in one of the bushes. She could see that there was a large, black dog staring at her. The same dog she had spotted at Diagon Alley. Before she could get closer the bell rung.

"Shit." Claire muttered.

Claire ran to Defense Against the Dark the Arts. As she neared the corner to Defense class, she ran into someone causing her to fall onto the floor.

"Ow." Claire muttered.

"Oh, it's you Claire. Are you alright?" Claire looked up and saw it was Harry. Harry offered her a hand and she took it. Once they were both up, they began walking to Defense together.

"Late too, huh?" Claire said.

"Yea, lost track of time with Quidditch practice. What did you do?" Harry asked.

"Read a book," Claire said.

They soon entered Defense class.

"Sorry, we're late, Professor Lupin, we—"

But it wasn't Professor Lupin who looked up at him from the teacher's desk; it was Snape.

"This lesson began ten minutes ago, Potter, Smith, so I think we'll make it ten points from Gryffindor. Sit down."

Claire and Harry didn't move.

"Where's Professor Lupin?" Claire asked.

"He says he is feeling too ill to teach today," Snape said with a twisted smile. "I believe I told you two to sit down?"

"What's wrong with him?" Harry asked.

Snape's black eyes glittered.

"Nothing life-threatening," he said, looking as though he wished it were. "Five more points from Gryffindor, and if I have to ask you two to sit down again, it will be fifty."

Claire and Harry walked to their seats and sat down. Snape looked around the class.

"As I was saying before Potter and Smith interrupted, Professor Lupin has not left any record of the topics you have covered so far—"

"Please, sir, we've done boggarts, Red Caps, kappas, and grindylows," Hermione said quickly, "and we're just about to start—"

"Be quiet," Snape said coldly. "I did not ask for information. I was merely commenting on Professor Lupin's lack of organization."

"He's the best Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher we've ever had," Dean said boldly, and there was a murmur of agreement. Snape looked more menacing than ever.

"You are easily satisfied. Lupin is hardly overtaxing you— I would expect first years to be able to deal with Red Caps and grindylows. Today we shall discuss werewolves," Snape said.

"But, sir," Hermione said, seemingly unable to restrain herself, "we're not supposed to do werewolves yet, we're due to start hinkypunks—"

"Miss Granger," Snape said in a voice of deadly calm, "I was under the impression that I am teaching this lesson, not you. And I am telling you all to turn to page 394." He glanced around again. "All of you! Now!"

Reluctantly and bitterly, the class opened their books.

"Which of you can tell me how we distinguish between the werewolf and the true wolf?" Snape said.

Everyone sat in motionless silence; except Hermione, whose hand, as it so often did, had shot straight into the air.

"Anyone?" Snape said, ignoring Hermione. His twisted smile was back. "Are you telling me that Professor Lupin hasn't even taught you the basic distinction between—"

"We told you," Parvati said suddenly, "we haven't got as far as werewolves yet, we're still on—"

"Silence!" Snape snarled. "Well, well, well, I need thought I'd meet a third-year class who wouldn't even recognized a werewolf when they saw one. I shall make a point of informing Professor Dumbledore how very behind you all are…."

"Please, sir," Hermione said, whose hand was still in the air, "the werewolf differs from the true wolf in several small ways. The snout of the werewolf—"

"That is the second time you have spoken out of turn, Miss Granger," Snape said coolly. "Five more points from Gryffindor for being an insufferable know-it-all."

Hermione went very red, put her hand down, and stared at the floor with her eyes full of tears. Claire was about to say a few choice words to Snape when Ron said loudly, "You asked us a question and she knows the answer! Why ask if you don't want to be told?"

Snape advanced on Ron slowly, and the room held its breath.

"Detention, Weasley," Snape said, silkily, his face very close to Ron's. "And if I ever hear you criticize the way I teach a class again, you will be very sorry indeed."

The rest of the lesson was in silence as the students took notes on the chapter. The bell rang soon and Snape held them back to tell them they had to write an essay on the ways to recognize and kill werewolves. Claire, Harry, and Hermione waited for Ron while he was told to stay after to arrange his detention.

"Snape's never been like this with any of our other Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers, even if he did want the job," Harry said to Claire and Hermione. "Why's he got it in for Lupin? D'you think this is all because of the boggart?"

"I don't think so," Claire said. "Snape didn't like Lupin before that. Maybe something happened when they were younger that made Snape not like him."

"Well, let's just hope that Professor Lupin gets better soon…" Hermione said pensively.

Ron caught up with them five minutes later, in a towering rage.

"D'you know what that—" (he called Snape something that made Hermione say "Ron!") "—is making me do? I've got to scrub out the bedpans in the hospital wing. Without magic!" He was breathing deeply, his fists clenched. "Why couldn't Black have hidden in Snape's office, eh? He could have finished him off for us!"

The next day was the Quidditch match. It was raining heavily as Ron, Claire, and Hermione made their way down to the Quidditch field. They stood in the Gryffindor section with their cloaks above their hands to keep from the pouring rain.

"I'd hate to be playing in this weather," Claire muttered.

The game soon started and it seemed that Harry was having trouble seeing in the rain with his glasses.

"It looks like Harry's having a problem with seeing through his glasses." Hermione said.

"Hermione," Claire began. "Isn't their a spell that repels water?"

"Oh, yes it's Impervius!" Hermione said.

At that moment Wood called a time-out and Madam Hooch blew her whistle.

"I'll be right back." Claire said.

Claire ran down to the edge of field where the Gryffindor Quidditch team was and spotted Harry.

"Harry!" Claire called.

He turned to her and said, "What are you doing here, Claire?"

"I have an idea, Harry! Give me your glasses, quick!"

He handed them to her, and as the team watched in amazement, Claire tapped them with her wand and said, "Impervius!"

"There!" she said, handing them back to Harry. "Hermione and I were trying to figure out a spell that repelled water and she remembered this one. Now you'll be able to see in the rain!"

Wood looked as though he could have kissed her.

"Brilliant!" he called hoarsely after her as she disappeared into the crowd. "Okay, team, let's go for it!"

Claire soon made it back to the bleachers just as the game started up again. Harry could actually see now.

"Well, it looks like the spell worked," Ron said.

Suddenly, an eerie silence fell upon the crowd and the temperature in the air dropped.

"DEMENTORS!" Someone yelled from the crowd.

"What's going on?" Ron questioned.

Hundreds of dementors were swarming the field and they all seemed to be heading towards Harry. Then Harry fell off his broom. Thankfully, Dumbledore used a spell to slow down Harry's drop and it allowed Harry to land safely on the ground.

"HARRY!" Claire and Hermione screamed.

Claire, Ron, and Hermione rushed down to the field as the teachers used their Patronus' to get rid of the dementors. The dementors were soon gone and Professor Dumbledore, looking extremely furious, conjured up a stretcher and put Harry on it. Dumbledore spotted them.

"Ah, Ms. Smith, Ms, Granger, Mr. Weasley, why don't you three escort Mr. Potter to the infirmary well I deal with the dementors." They took Harry to the infirmary and Madam Pomfrey muttered about how there shouldn't be dementors on the grounds. She tended to him behind one of the curtains as Claire, Ron, and Hermione waited. When Madam Pomfrey was done, the whole Gryffindor Quidditch team arrived. Fred was carrying a bag that looked like it had splintered wood and twigs in it.

"Is that Harry's broom?" Hermione gasped.

"Well, what's left of it," Fred said.

"He's not gonna be happy when we tell him about it," Ron said.

They all walked over to Harry.

"Looks a bit peaky, doesn't he?" Ron said.

Claire smacked his arm. "Peaky? What d'you expect him to look like, Ron? He fell fifty feet!"

"Yeah, c'mon, Ron." George said. "We'll walk you off the Astronomy Tower and see how you come out looking."

"Probably a right sight better than he normally does." Harry said.

They all looked at him as he opened his eyes.

"Harry!" Hermione exclaimed. "How are you feeling?"

"Brilliant." Harry muttered sarcastically.

"Gave us a right good scare, mate." Fred said.

"What happened?" Harry asked.

"You fell off your broom." Ron answered, which led to Claire smacking his arm again.

"Really? I meant the match. Who won?" Harry noticed that the room suddenly went silent and they sent uncomfortable glances toward each other.

"It wasn't your fault," Claire began. "The dementors weren't suppose to come on the grounds. You should've seen Dumbledore he was furious. After he saved you, he sent them straight off."

Harry nodded grimly. "What about my Nimbus?"

They all stared at Claire as though they were expecting her to tell him the bad news. She glared at them.

"Really? I already had to tell him he didn't win the game. Now I have to tell him about his broom too? Fine. I swear and you call yourselves Gryffindors." Claire muttered. "Well, Harry, about your Nimbus—when it blew away?—it sort of landed in the Whomping Willow and well….."

Claire took the bag from Fred and dumped the remains of the broomstick on Harry's bed.

A few key points that happened in this chapter: #1 River Song's Journal returns! I know it's been a LONG time since you've seen that but I had my reasons. Claire was preoccupied with the possessive diary last year remember. I felt now was a good time for her to rediscover it and actually tell about the blue box she keeps seeing everywhere. River song also gave her some hints about her Uncle and Ron's rat. Hmmm, I wonder what Claire will do with this information? #2 Claire and Jason are friends now! I was going to wait a little longer but I thought it'd be the best time. I hope it didn't seem rushed with their friendship. I mean they're not best friends but friends. #3 Sir Cadogan as the Fat Lady's replacement! In all honesty I'd completely forgotten that he was the portrait that replaces the Fat Lady. I'm kind of glad I did make him have a crush on Claire now because I thought it'd be good comic relief. So, what are your thoughts about this chapter? Love It Or Hate It? (Ha, just like LOVE IT OR LIST IT on HGTV! Now I know I'm getting tired when I start getting off topic.)

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