No one ever realistically depicts the aftermath of a breakup. Everyone will tell you different things because not one relationship is the same as another. Yes, there might be similar starts with similar endings. However, the cause of a breakup and the lead up to one are both different. This is what is happening to David and Christina. The tears are no longer there but both adults are now just sitting on the couch of their apartment. Silence filling the space between them. Eyes red. Both wanting to speak but no words seem to come out of their mouths.
David hoping, he can read Christina's mind in this point in time. Christina hoping that the last hour or so did not happen. So many what ifs in a relationship of multiple trials and errors. A relationship full of nothing but trying to meet in the middle. The middle that was never discussed.
"So is this really it for us then David." Christina spoke barely a whisper.
"I owe it to you to be honest Chris. That is what you deserve." He answered his eyes darting to his hands. "But I have never cheated on you. I want to make that clear."
"Not physically. Emotionally? You have." She looked up at him staring at the side of his face while David still couldn't meet her eyes. "I knew it David, I've always known."
"This isn't about Jen." David replied firmly.
"I know. This is about us, you and me, right? You and me in New York is completely different than you and me in Los Angeles. If you're being honest, it's my turn to be honest. The eyes David, your eyes and hers? They don't lie." A silent tear falling down on her face once more. This time a different feeling overcame her. "This is about us, but it was never just us. It was her. I was fighting with her for you. Not physically like I said... But for some sort of emotional capacity in your heart."
"I loved you." David shook his head. "I don't even know why I'm trying to explain myself here, especially now."
"David I'm being honest with you just like how I hope you will be with me right now. We owe it to each other at the very least. I don't want to hate you, I love you." She whispered the last three words to herself, but David still heard them. "I apologize for accusing you out of nowhere, but I just couldn't take it anymore. Yes, I'll admit it I saw the end of the relationship which is why I had been trying to grab on for some sort of hope. Some sort of love, but it's too late. Which I hate that it is. My efforts should have been made earlier but who's to say that would make a difference when your heart is elsewhere."
Honesty was what was missing from their relationship. Honesty to each other and to themselves. One that didn't know the depth of his feelings for another. One that wanted to ignore what she saw in hopes that things will change.
"You mentioned emotionally." Christina nodded but David wouldn't have noticed because he was still looking at anything else but her. "I did say I love you, and I meant it."
"I'm not questioning your love for me. I'm not saying I didn't have my own faults in this relationship. That is clear, I didn't try until I noticed things going wrong. I had known things had been going wrong for months but was too naïve to believe anything of it. I know your feelings were true, I felt that. But there was always something whenever I see you with her, with Jennifer. You never looked at me like that or smiled at me like that. Most recently I started to see it more. Before I left for New York recently I noticed it. That was a reason for leaving. It was a cowardly thing to do instead of confronting you but something in me felt like you would have just denied it. The moment I got back I made a promise to myself that I would try and pretend that what I had been noticing was nothing. Funny how when I told that to myself was when I would notice everything even more. You meant it when you said you loved me. You also have that same feeling in the way that you look at her. That's what I mean when I say emotionally. You were with me physically, but with her emotionally."
—
The following day was harder for David. Christina had left early that morning with a note on the dining table saying that she'll find a temporary place. That was when he woke up for a second time noting what has been talked about the day before. How they spent that night airing out everything about their relationship, how it felt more real even if he had checked out mentally months ago.
Looking at his phone he noted that he has an hour left until he needs to leave for work. An hour that can go so quick, yet this time feels like an eternity. Still flipping through his phone, a message from Courteney came through.
"You broke up with her?"
"How did you know?" He typed back.
"So, you did."
"How do you know Court?"
Suddenly getting a call from Courteney herself he answers it.
"There was paparazzi outside your apartment complex, I think. I wanted to ask I just got an email about it this morning."
"You got an email about it this morning?"
"I have these alerts set up just in case something happens. But wait, you did end things?"
"Last night." He sighed. "I wasn't even planning on showing up to work today but it's filming day."
"How about I come by and get you for work? At least that way things won't look weird I mean the paparazzi doesn't have many convinced that you two did end things by the looks of it." David didn't reply. "You are okay, aren't you?"
"Yea, I am. Courteney you really don't have to."
"You're my friend. Besides it's what we do, I'll come by in half an hour."
While waiting for Courteney, David decided to have a look himself as to what's online. Looking at things it wasn't pretty convincing. Just pictures of Christina leaving this morning, she didn't take any of her stuff and by the looks of it she's waiting until he leaves for work to do so. David debated on giving his ex-girlfriend a warning as to what's been said online. She didn't have a problem with paparazzi after all out of the three men David was the least followed since he kept a relatively low and private profile. Until now. Typing out a quick message to Christina all he said was that the paparazzi might be following her to just keep an eye out to which her only reply was "thanks". Things were changing for David, and he wasn't quite sure why the change was weird for him even if he had suspected it already.
His phone beeped again, this time he thought it was Courteney. Surprisingly it was Jennifer.
"I have your coffee (:" The message followed a picture of his exact coffee order and Marta Kauffman in the background giving a thumbs up.
Smiling he typed out his reply then hit send. "So, I guess olive branches work?"
"Maybe? Where are you by the way, you're usually the first one."
"Court is giving me a ride today."
"Oh? I'll see you in a bit then."
"So, we're good?"
"You haven't seen my present yet, so you should be the one to answer that."
David wasn't expecting Jennifer to give him anything. For what it's worth he just wanted for them to go back to normal, whatever their normal is at the end of the day. Even if his life everywhere else outside of work is hectic at least he can count on the show to be the safe place. The stagnant place.
"Your present?"
"Haha, I'll pass it to you after work today. See you then Schwimm."
Maybe Christina was right during their conversation last night. Maybe just maybe he needs to stop being scared of what can go wrong and think about what can go right. Although he knows that jumping into things is not the best, he is just fine in this moment. Knowing that Jennifer is once again a text away.
—
"I see we are back to the tradition once again." Matthew spoke as he walked up to Jennifer noting that she has David's drink right next to her. "You two make up?"
"We were never fighting..." Jennifer said which Matthew just gave her a look in response. "What! It wasn't a fight."
"Sure, it wasn't Jenny. As long as you two are good now, it was a weird week without you two talking."
"I bet it wasn't."
"Oh, it was I can admit to that and if Matt is here too, he would agree. But beside the point, you two are back to your little Ross and Rachel ways." He made a joke which made Jennifer smile. "Whatever makes you happy Jen."
"I don't know if I'm happy per se but definitely not what I was feeling for the past month."
Matthew hugged Jennifer to which she hugged him back. She felt safety with the five other actors beside her something that she didn't think would have happened so quickly. These other five people understood what it felt like to have cameras follow you, to have the pressure of the public on you, etc. Most importantly she knew that she could confide her truth and feelings into them. Something she did to Matthew early on about her feelings for David and even if she's older than him Matthew became like her older brother. Protective yet always encouraging her to just go with what her heart says.
"Your feelings for David?"
"Still here." She shrugged.
"What happened to—"
"My whole thing of wanting to not talk to him until I was over everything?"
"That."
"I couldn't because the more I didn't talk to him I realized he was more a part of my life than I thought he was you know? Not just work but he's one of my best friends and knows so much about me. The more I forced myself to just hate him... I guess I was just making myself hurt more. So, I decided to just not be angry at myself or at him. Yes, having feelings for him will still hurt but not talking to him will hurt even more." She admitted.
"Why don't you go over to Marta and David to let them write that little speech into a Rachel monologue." The two laughed and started talking more on the way to see if the crew needed any help with set up before filming began for The One With the Tiny T-Shirt.
While Matthew and Jennifer talked to the creators of the show Lisa tried to contact both of them in a hurry wondering why there were some paparazzi just outside of the toll gates to enter the lot. Security is aware of the intensive ways that the paparazzi will get to in order for one picture. However, this was rather unusual even for a normal day. No one replied so she decided to shrug it off and continue to grab her things before entering the set.
—
"Shit they're here." Courteney noticed the familiar cars and people just waiting leaning on them with cameras in their hands.
"I thought they left the apartment meaning they went somewhere else?"
"They went here, they know where you work David. That's their own creepy job description."
When the paparazzi caught who was in the car was when they all decided to run towards the car which scared Courteney and David equally No amount of so-called fame or years in this industry will make any of this normal. When Courteney pulled up to the security guard to show her pass she made sure to alert them that the paparazzi might be there for a while perhaps even until they end live taping. The guard reassured her that they knew this since they had started multiplying so more guards are on their way including double the usual ones walking around the lots just in case.
"You did text Christina about this right? Is she okay?"
"I did, she said there hasn't been anyone near the complex while she's grabbing her stuff."
"Let's hope it stays that way for her." Courteney glanced over at David and noticed the worry in his eyes. "What's with the look?"
"Just yet another thing to look down on and more things to plan around."
"It's not your fault that this is happening you know."
"It sort of is Court I did break up with her."
"Because of your own relationship troubles, you didn't tell the paparazzi anything so therefore you didn't cause any of this. Breakups happen it just so happens that in the public eye or in this industry it's no longer private."
"I wish it was."
"Don't we all. But, down act so down."
"Thanks for suggesting to come by my place by the way."
"There was another reason why I called I just happened to get emails about you today but that wasn't it."
"What is it?"
"So, that gift you got Jen."
That was when David just got out of the car and made a run for it to the stage door only to be met my Jennifer walking out.
"Oh! Sorry." Jennifer said first looking up at him noticing it was David then smiling afterwards. "There you are finally! I thought you weren't coming to work on taping day. Marta and David are actually looking for you they want to meet with us so I was going to just call you..."
"Talk to us about?"
"I'm not sure actually but—" Jennifer noticed something different about David which made her stop talking. He looked awfully tired for someone who slept in. "Are you alright?" She looked at him tilting her head slightly. "Did you sleep?"
"Just the lack of coffee probably..." He didn't want to tell Jennifer just yet, he knows her. They just back on the right foot. "I'll head inside, Court is still in the car." He gave her a side hug and a slight smile making his way into set but Jennifer grabbed his arm.
"Hey, seriously."
"Seriously I'm just running on low caffeine." Jennifer raised her eyebrow at him. "Jen."
"Okay fine, your drink is with Lisa." She let him go inside and walked towards Courteney to see if she knows what's happening with David.
—
They had been filming on and off for now a couple of hours. It was clear to Jennifer however that David was more than just lacking caffeine his eyes would start to drop the minute the director would yell cut. Taking a break from filming everyone dispersed including the live audience. Jennifer however couldn't find one person.
"Where's David?" Jennifer asked around.
"I saw him walk towards his dressing room; the guy is pretty tired." Matt answered.
"Thanks." She walked into the direction of the cast dressing rooms leaving her four friends to just watch her follow David.
"Christina and David broke up." Courteney whispered while double checking if Jennifer is already gone. "But you can't tell Jen. That's why David is really tired today they were up until around 3 am this morning just talking and yelling and more talking. Christina is moving out right now which would explain—"
"The paparazzi that's just outside the lot." Matthew finished connecting the dots.
"Exactly."
"But why can't we tell Jen? You told us..." Matt asked. Which was a valid point.
"I promised David. He doesn't want to tell her because she would just feel guilty thinking, she's the sole reason for the breakup."
"Which she isn't." Lisa firmly said.
"She's not?" Matt said at the same time Lisa spoke gaining him a slap on the arm. "Am I wrong? He got into a relationship knowing he has strong feelings for Jennifer but wanted to move froward because she was in a relationship. When he came back, she's single and was ready to tell him her feelings but surprise Christina." Matt sounded frustrated at this point. "Sorry, I just... I don't understand why it's just so hard for them. It seems so simple."
Matt was the one who was there to see what happened after Jennifer met Christina. He noticed how it broke her and pretty much Matt was the one who reminded Jennifer that regardless of that, things between her and David wouldn't change. Something he constantly reminded her. Although, his biggest take a ways from that moment was seeing Jennifer wonder why timing was just always never on her side.
"We can't meddle Matt." Lisa reminded him.
"I know, but this is all pointless if at the end of this they don't at least give things a try."
"I know man." Matthew sensed his frustrations. "But, we're not Jen and David. Maybe they just care more about keeping their friendship than acting on their feelings. I mean look at what happened when they told each other. I'm not talking about the breakup between Christina, I'm talking about how those two didn't talk for a week while we were the ones in the middle of it all. We heard them just say that all they wanted was what happened before they admitted things to each other. Maybe they just want to be friends."
"Bullshit." Courteney crossed her arms. "Friends? We all have heard things from them but why don't we just step back and just see how they interact with each other and see if they still want to be just friends. Their words say something but all of their actions? The complete opposite."
—
Jennifer barely slept the other night needing to talk further with CBS on the prospect that maybe Muddling Through could get picked up at the same time as FRIENDS. She just couldn't believe that wanting her career to take off could lead to possibly losing one of the shows that she just wants to stay on. Letting her eyes rest in between takes while waiting for her turn to go on in front of the audience happened sooner rather than later.
"Jen?" David had been looking for her for a few minutes since the six of them agreed to go out for lunch. Not hearing anything he slowly opened the door to see Jennifer sleeping on the couch inside. Stepping inside he saw her knitted cardigan hanging up, so he grabbed it and put it on her in case she was cold. However, the little gesture woke her up a bit.
"David?"
"Oh sorry I didn't mean to wake you."
"It's alright are we going for lunch now or?"
"We are but you can go back to sleep I'll just grab something to go for you." He smiled. "I'm guessing the talks with the producers didn't go so well?" Jennifer had told him last night that she was just making her way home hours after being at CBS.
"One of the producers told me something that I just find so hard to believe." She shook her head finally just sitting up. David decided to hear her out and sit next to her. "He said that this show, FRIENDS, will never make me a star and that their show will."
"They want you to stay on that show. But, I find their statement completely false to say the least." He admitted. "I want you to stay with us though. I can't imagine another person playing Rachel." She smiled up at him. "I mean who else can make their voice go that high in the pilot then go back to a normal pitch for the next episodes." He joked due to the fact that everyone including Jennifer was confused as to why she made the characters voice so much higher for the pilot.
"Very funny." She yawned.
"What do you want from lunch I'll just drop it off here to let you sleep." He stood up.
"No, no. I'll go with everyone." She protested.
"Jen, lay down. Filming just started this might be the only opportunity you can get to sleep until after the day is over."
"But."
"So what's the order?"
"Just a salad and a large coffee." She yawned again.
"I'll get it to you in half an hour okay?"
"Thank you David." She looked at him and he leaned down to kiss her forehead which made her smile.
David did follow through with that promise having her food right in front of her on the side table when she woke up. However, she did notice that she slept longer than just thirty minutes; an hour had passed since he left her alone to rest her eyes. Looking over at the food she noticed that there was a note attached to it in David's writing. And with what looked to be Courteney's writing at the bottom. 'We let you sleep in (don't worry Marta and David know), here's your food (:' PS: don't go to CBS – CC She laughed at Courteney's comment at the end. As she ate her food then finishing it in a hurry the show was indeed being filmed like David said. It was just weirder watching everything from the sidelines and having only woken up she was a little groggy. With one cut the director indicated the crew to prepare for the next scene. David and Jennifer making eye contact with each other. He walked over to her seeing now that she was more rested than this morning.
"Good nap?"
"And good food." David put his arm around Jen his hand and as a force of habit Jen placed her arm behind him.
As the two talked their little gestures between them playing along to their conversations the four actors talked with the show creators. Noting just how oblivious they are to just how they can act like that normally. Marta and David didn't mind the potential relationship or crushes developing they thought of it as inevitable but seeing this made them rethink the whole Ross and Rachel arc.
"You're writing them together in the show right, because if you two don't I don't know... Missed opportunity if you tell me." Matthew joked.
"Oh, we are, just look at them." Marta did a subtle point as David made a joke that clearly embarrassed Jen in some way as he just hugged her tightly covering her flushed face. "It would be a waste of their chemistry if we didn't."
—
Jennifer always admired and adored David's way of showing his affection for the people he cares for. The people he wanted to maintain in his life. That was something the two of them have in common and what started their even closer bond. Because in every interview when they would ask Jennifer who out of the three guys, she was closest to? The answer would always be David.
She made her way to kraft services prior to walking to his dressing room. Being attentive as always Jennifer noticed how David had barely eaten or drank anything since he got to the lot minus the coffee she had bought for him. With all the time they spend together she already knows his go to lunch order so she got that for him.
"David?" She knocked on the door but didn't get any reply. Knocking again and still getting nothing she slowly opened the door to see that he fell asleep in front of the script for next week. Setting his food down on the coffee table she slowly tried to slide the script from underneath his head but failed when David's hand went on top of hers. "David." She whispered but no reply. Looking down at his hand on top of hers she just moved it away and that's when he woke up.
"Sorry, wow how long have I been sleeping?" He scrunched his face.
"I have no idea I came in here to bring you food." She tilted her head to where she placed it. "And to check up on you."
"Don't I usually do that?" He made a remark back.
"Very funny, but the tables can turn too you know? So eat and we can talk. Just like we used to, I miss that." Jennifer placed the food in front of David and sat next to him.
"When was the last time we really talked Jen?"
"A week ago." She tried and hoped that the joking would make it easier for them to move past that rough week. Seeing him quietly laugh indicated that it worked.
"Touché."
They talked for what seemed like hours and noting that no one seemed to bother them was a weird thing, but they took it as a blessing in disguise. David and Jennifer hardly have time anymore to talk as just the two of them with the fame of the show increasing and more time needed for other things it became slim to none that their conversations surpassed a hi or goodbye. David still not wanting to tell her about the breakup for many reasons but he also knows what hiding things can do.
"So are you finally going to spill what made you lose sleep all night?"
"I did say it."
"Doing administrative work and watching tv doesn't mean you staying up all night Schwimmer I know you. You hate that. What's the actual reason though?" David looked at Jennifer and he can believe that what Christina said was true. It was the way he looks at her differently. Because to him she was more than just America's sweetheart. He can't explain why he looks at her differently it just happened. It always does. "Are you just going to stare at me or tell me?"
"Christina and I broke up last night." He told her but couldn't pin point her reaction which is odd because if anyone in the cast can read Jennifer's mind from a mile away it would be David. "That's why the paparazzi are here, they were at our place this morning for some reason and noticed that Christina took some of her stuff with her. But, it's all just speculation. The truth but speculation on their parts."
"You broke up." She softly said.
"It doesn't have anything to do with you. Don't think that." Not entirely David thought. Which is the truth there being no physical third party in their relationship. It was them trying to make something work when it wasn't going to at all.
"Did you two talk civilly?"
"We did, she also told me what she had asked you when the three of you went to the apartment for lunch. I just want to apologize for that."
"No need to, I stood my ground and I stuck up for you too. I told her that you're a good guy who would never do that to someone he loves."
"I wouldn't which is why I never did."
"Why did you two break up then? It seemed like you were really going to go somewhere with her if I'm being honest." David gave her a look that practically said 'seriously?' "I'm being honest here!"
"Just because it seems like a good thing doesn't mean it will end up being a good thing. We were trying to cover up the truth of how we are by the idea of what we want to be." Jennifer didn't speak. "It wasn't because of you." He put his hand on top of hers and squeezed it. "We talked civilly, I mean there was yelling involved but, it was something we both needed to get across. We just weren't happy, it was needed to be said."
"You looked happy."
"Just because I looked happy doesn't mean that I was, right?"
"I guess... But are you happy now?" She looked up at him.
"I am. Minus the paparazzi." Silence. "Thank you by the way."
"For?"
"For sticking up for me with Christina. Even if she did offend you, and for accepting the coffee and the spoon." He changed the conversation.
"Free coffee, who can pass that up?" She joked. "But you remembered that exact same gift you gave me then? From the first table read?"
"Of course, I did."
"Of course, you did."
"I mean it's you, why wouldn't I?" David confessed which caused Jennifer's face to slowly turn red.
—
They had been talking now for what seemed like a whole day. The clock reading just past midnight. A talk that was long overdue between the now former pair. A conversation around their true feelings.
"Do you still have feelings for her then?" Christina asked. David didn't reply. "I know you two didn't do anything passed the two kisses. Which I appreciate you being honest to me about. But, all of that aside David, where do you stand with her? Because I think we both know where we both stand with each other in our lives now."
"I do have feelings for Jen." He finally said out loud, to more than just Matthew and Matt.
"Are you going to do anything?"
"I think I've already put her through enough, don't you?" David has always doubted himself which makes this harder for him to trust his instincts so to speak. "Maybe just friends is fine."
Christina shook her head and laughed. "Are you serious? David how scared are you of fucking things up? Because she is clearly reciprocating your feelings! For the love of God that woman? An angel, because she didn't want to get in between us and kept telling me how much of a good guy you are. What have you got to lose?"
To most people might view Christina and David at this state as rather weird and non-compliant to what apparent normal freshly broken couples would be. But their understanding is more that they would like to remain and salvage whatever they can.
"What we have, I mean that comfortable aspect I don't want to lose that."
"Didn't you reassure her that things won't change? You both can possibly have a chance at something right, something great. Do you love her enough to just take that chance?"
"You're really not sounding like an ex girlfriend." He laughed awkwardly.
"Well someone has to push you in the right direction. I'm also still being honest with you, I can't stand you like this honestly. If it's timing you want... There really isn't a perfect time for a relationship. It's about effort. I think we both can speak on that one."
—
At the end of their filming day David was talking to other four while Jennifer excused herself to grab something she had forgotten. Something David had taken for granted during this weird transition period was how Lisa, Courteney, Matt, and Matthew have been towards him and Jennifer. There was that trust that can be shared because nothing was being shown publicly it was all between them as a group. At least something in the pact they made remained.
For a minute David had forgotten that he arrived here with Courteney because he tried looking for his car out on the lot thinking someone had stolen it. Courteney had to hold back her laughter watching David have a mild panic before coming to the realization.
"Ready to go?" David asked waiting for Courteney.
"I think someone wants to give you something." Courteney tilted her head and David noticed Jennifer just standing there holding a bag. "I'll just wait in the car."
"You were going to leave without my olive branch weren't you?"
David laughed. "Completely slipped my mind."
"Here." She gave it to him. "Unlike yours I want to see you open this one."
David opened the bag surprised to see a stack of playbills.
"You always said you wanted to see all these different plays back in New York but we're always filming so, I pulled some strings and got those for you. Well it was supposed to be around your birthday but I completed your full list yesterday."
"You did this?" David remembered all those conversations him and Jennifer shared about the different plays back in New York. He didn't know that she was making a note of all of them as he was talking.
"Who else?"
"There must be at least twenty in here."
"I noted every play you said were in your must-see list. With help from Lisa maybe but I started collecting I think four months ago?"
"Wow, thank you I love it really." David was speechless those words being the only thing he can string together.
"So, are we okay?" Jennifer asked.
"I think we both can answer that with a yes." David replied which eased the air between them.
As they parted ways David watched as Jennifer made her way to her car which was a bit farther from where he was. He just heard his conversation with Christina in his ears again. About what else he has to lose.
"Aniston." He shouted causing Jennifer to turn around.
"Yea Schwimm?"
"How about an actual dinner? You and me."
Jennifer smiled then laughed shaking her head. "Maybe when the paparazzi isn't following you around." Then continued to walk away.
Moments later however David got a text on his phone as he was getting in the car. A text from Jennifer.
"Seriously, when it dies down. You owe me a dinner."
"I'll hold you to that."
—
Hi everyone!! Thanks for reading and I hope this was worth a wait & the read hehe.