♊︎Year 5067, Month 8, Day 9, Time 6:59 pm♊︎
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Waiting. It's never been Kurenai's forte. Whether on a mission or just living her day-to-day life, she's hated the concept of waiting. She hates the uncertainty it brings and the anxious tickling in her gut that wasting time thrives on.
And here she is, waiting— A minute early.
Since the invitation was extended to her, Kurenai has debated and mulled over whether or not to call and cancel plans with Mingi, but she can't bring herself to do it. Not with how she's already treated him.
And that itself is another thing.
Along with the jittery feeling she gets from having to wait, she can't help but acknowledge the queasiness in her stomach at what she plans to tell Mingi tonight: The truth.
Which would be much easier if Mingi weren't Mingi. If he weren't that hopeless romantic she knows oh-so-well.
The man that's helped soothe her when she'd wake up at his place covered in sweat from a night terror. The man who frequently bought her flowers and little knickknacks he found that reminded him of her. The man that she— at some point— might have fallen in love with if things were different.
Kurenai looks down at her lap, picking at her unpainted nails that have been worn down because of her constant chewing at them. She doesn't remember when the last time was that she dressed herself up for a date. Ever since she returned from being tortured by Evan, she had been in a depressed stupor, unable to even get up to bathe herself on certain days when the pain and stress got under her skin.
Nevertheless, with the help of Yeosang and Yunho, she got herself up and ready for the date. And of course, she wore the dress gifted to her by Mingi. The one she received the same day she received the invitation.
It's a beautiful gold, one sleeve dress with a turtleneck design made of a mesh material and gold sequin. It's a column shape that's sticks tightly to her body up until her hips where it flows straight down. Every time she moves, the light catches on the sequin material of the dress, creating a gorgeous effect that makes everyone's heads turn.
Mingi has always had a divine taste in clothes and this is just one example.
It's been a minute since she's arrived at the place and the waiter already sat her down in a secluded booth on the second floor of the restaurant, the VIP floor.
This wasn't her first time at L'endroit, in fact, this was one of her favorite restaurants to frequent with Mingi, so it was no surprise he chose to bring her here.
Glancing over at the clock in the secluded booth she notices that it's 3 minutes past 7 o'clock which was the time he'd given her. Kurenai flattens out her dress, knowing that Mingi could walk in at any minute when she finally hears him.
"Ah, Kurenai!" That sing-song voice of his dances towards her ears, a sound that leaves a guilty taste on her tongue. He parts the viridian green curtain that enclosed the u-shaped booth she was sitting in, flashing a charming smile at Kurenai once he lays his eyes on her. There's nothing but admiration for her in his eyes. He's infatuated, she can tell; She's not, but he keeps on going as if she were.
"Mingi," Kurenai gives a half-hearted grin to acknowledge the man, taking in his freshly combed back hair and the crisp, all-black tuxedo he's wearing with the top three buttons of his shirt undone. She stands up to greet him, walking in his direction.
He studies her as she was walks toward him: the way her hips sway seductively with each step, the way the dress he gave her fits her soft curves, the way her eyes look back at his with that never-ending look of grief and maturity. Stretching out his hand wordlessly so as to not ruin the peaceful stillness between them, he grabs and lifts her hand to his lips to place a gentle peck on the back of it.
"You look beautiful, Kurenai." He compliments and sees her expression clash with two distinct emotions he can't pin down.
"Thank you." She answers stiffly, keeping her eyes away from his and focusing intently on the hand that's in his. Mingi purses his lips, bringing down their hands a bit disappointedly when he hears the next comment. "Although, I bet you only say this because you chose the dress."
"Dresses can only enhance what's already there." He slyly responds to which Kurenai rolls her eyes playfully. "Shall we?" The tattooed woman nods and they sit down at the booth. Kurenai tries to keep a distance between them which Mingi picks up on but brushes it off in the same instant. "I'm sorry that I kept you waiting for so long. Hongjoong was on my ass because I failed to fill some stupid paper out that was a part of my recent mission."
"You're good." Kurenai shrugs slightly, looking back down at her lap. There's a sudden awkward tension between them, as if they were two sheltered teenagers on their first date.
"I—,"
"Hello, my name is Joshua and I'll be your waiter for today. Pardon me for any interruption, but I can take your order, or if you're not ready, then your drinks?" A tall blond kid, not a day over 17 suddenly interrupts Mingi, relieving both of them from that awkward atmosphere.
"Oh, um, I think I'm ready. I'll have a Shirley Temple and the baked ratatouille and..."
"I'll have the bouillabaisse stew with, uh... merlot," Mingi adds in his order, taking his eyes off of Kurenai only to order before looking back at her again.
"Thank you. That'll be all." Kurenai let's the young waiter know and he nods before heading off with their order.
"Well that's a surprise. How come you didn't order a wine?"
"Hah, I think it'd be best if I stayed sober." Kurenai chuckles, tucking a strand of loose hair behind her ear. "Either way, I'm surprised you ordered one."
"It was only because I know you would eventually bug me and ask for some." He replies matter-of-factly, making the tattooed woman let out a breathy laugh. The once timid air that plagued them was now gone and replaced with that natural easy that usually follows them. "I missed you a lot, Kurenai."
"I..." Kurenai drawls, looking for the right way to phrase it. "I missed our friendship, too. But enough, about me." She quickly changes topics, "I heard that you've been doing side assignments that the Meisters have assigned you."
Mingi sighs.
"Yeah, Hongjoong decided it would be best if we continued with our farce and worked as we would have before all of... this." He waves his hands around to make his point. Kurenai knows what he means by "this". As much as he might want to work his way around it the "this" always means her. If it weren't for her, her team might not be in the position they're in. Mingi would never admit that to her face and, in a way, she's grateful for that. "Either way, my workload has been increased so much that I barely have time to even model."
"Are all of the members experiencing that shift in assignments?" She inquires.
"Yeah, Wooyoung has been complaining the most about it. But his work isn't as bad as mine or Hongjoong's. Ismael makes sure of it." Mingi explains, turning his body to face her. "My last assignment was probably the worst though. I had to go in as a dealer instead of staying behind my scope."
"How'd that go?" She teases.
"I suck at close range." He admits under his breath making them both laugh.
"I can only imagine how catastrophic that was." She muses, making him whine for her to stop.
"Don't rub it in. The embarrassment was bad enough for me." He shakes his head, trying to keep the thought of what happened out of his bed. "I think I might finally go to jail this time because of how messy things got."
Kurenai laughs, creating a genuine smile on her face that's replicated on Mingi's. They're then interrupted by the waiter that brings them their drinks but it doesn't deter the model from staring at her. He moves to place his hand on hers but she quickly moves it away while clearing her throat to avoid making it awkward in front of the waiter. Mingi casts his eyes down in confusion and waits until the young server leaves to pose his question.
"Kurenai... what's— why are you avoiding me?" The tattooed woman sucks in her breath, knowing this question was bound to pop up at some point. Extending a hand to pick up her drink, she takes a loud sip to calm her nerves.
"What do you mean?" Mingi leans back in his seat, furrowing his brows.
"You've barely talked to me since you came back from getting kidna— I mean, switched out." He begins. "I didn't want to force you to talk to me when you first returned. But weeks passed and you never talked to me or reached out to me. Even now that you're sitting here with me but you feel so distant. I just want to know if I did anything to offend you. I want to know what changed?"
Once again, she's faced with the same question: What changed?
"I'm..." Kurenai struggles to find the words and bites her bottom lip in frustration while clenching the fabric of her dress tightly. "Not long ago, I left to a club with San to talk to a personal contact about Candy's whereabouts. You may have heard of what happened from Yeosang or Yunho."
Mingi nods.
"Well, after we fled and found a place to hide, We had to split up and share rooms which left me with San and Jongho with Olivia." Kurenai gulps out of embarrassment for having to admit the next part. "At some point, San and I ended up sharing a kiss or two when I— when I regained a part of my memeory."
"Your memory?"
"Yeah." She avoids eye contact. "It was memories of my training years, before I was 20." She looks up sadly, "And they were all memories I shared with San."
Mingi's face falls and she sees the changes, each minor change stabbing her gut a million times over. Although her feeling for Mingi don't reach the depth his feelings for her do, she still holds him dearly and it hurts her to witness his pain. A pain that she caused.
"I was right." The model says in a humorless laugh that arouses tears in his eyes that he's trying so desperately to fight back. "I told Yunho there was something between you two, but i— I didn't want to believe it."
"I— I told you it wasn't good for us to continue being romantically involved. I never meant to lead you on after that but I was drunk and I needed comfort and you were all I had." Kurenai begins to ran as tears well up in her eyes, too, bringing the back of her hand up to cover her mouth. "I never meant for things to get this out of hand."
"Then why didn't you tell me?"
"I did! I did, I really did! I told you we weren't good for each other and even when I went back on my word you pushed it."
"So now it's my fault?"
"It's both of ours." She defends, wiping her tears. "What's done is done. There's no point in arguing because we're both equally at fault. Me for going back on my word and you for pushing it." Mingi holds back his tongue knowing she's right.
"I apologize, then." The model concedes, taking a shaky breath to stabilize the whirlwind of thoughts flying around his head. "I didn't think that's what I was doing."
"Neither of us was thinking, Mingi." Kurenai gives him a tight-lipped smile, some of her mascara running down and staining her cheeks. "These are the consequences."
Mingi clears his throat, closing and opening his jaw to focus his mind off of the pain in his chest. None of it goes undetected by Kurenai.
"I'm so, so sorry. I'm sorry for leading you on. I'm sorry for not being honest and avoiding you. I just didn't know how to tell you."
"I understand," Mingi assures her, letting some of his tears out when he can no longer hold them in and facing the tattooed woman. He lifts a hand up to wipe Kurenai's tear-streaked face and she raises a hand as well to place it over his. "I knew deep inside we wouldn't work, but I still held on, stupidly. I chose to love you and I still do."
"I do, too." Kurenai drops to a whisper, crying into Mingi's hand. "I'm just not in love with you."
The words, although disappointing in the end, bring a smile of sorts to his features, one that hides the swelling ache in his body. Removing his hand from her face, Kurenai keeps holding on to him, afraid to let her best friend go.
"Is there any way I can make it up to you? Could we start over? As friends?" Kurenai asks, hoping that she hasn't just lost someone so special to her for the umpteenth time.
"I...don't know," Mingi replies, retreating his hand to push his hair back with furrowed brows and standing up suddenly. He looks at her with a deep look of grief. "I'll need some time to think."
"Will you let me know?" She asks hopefully and he gives a confused nod, a look of disorientation in his eyes that worries her.
"I'll let you know." He takes a step back. "I should go now."
"W-Wait, the food. Aren't you going to stay? We can resolve this." Kurenai tries convincing him, standing up and pulling on his hand that he snatches back. The action causes the tattooed woman to pause in shock. "Mingi?"
"I'm sorry, Kurenai, I just-- I'm sorry." He apologizes as he backs away, lifting the curtain and bumping into the startled waiter on his way out who was just coming in to serve the meal. Kurenai watches as Mingi runs away from her like a disease that's contaminated him.
Her eyes tear up once more as she takes a shaking breath in, hugging herself to find any form of comfort, but she finds none. All she can think of is how she screwed over someone so important to her-- again.
"Ma'am? Hello, Ma'am?" She finally hears the waiter speaking to her, turning to him with tears running down her face. "I said, do you still want the food?"
Kurenai can only manage a slight nod, feeling herself lose balance so she plops down on the seats, looking at the gourmet food that she's been left to eat all on her own.
Once again, all on her own.
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A/N: Hello, Lovelies! I wanted to announce that I am back in action after taking a short break and that hopefully, we'll be back to our regular programming! I was focusing on school and all so I couldn't update as often as I wanted to :(
Either way, I am back and even have the ending planned out and ready to break your hearts LOL! Which is what I wanted to ask about. I know some of you may not enjoy the original ending I've planned so I've thought of creating 2 endings. How does that sound? Pls Lmk so that I can start planning them!
Lastly, I wanted to share a picture of the dress Kurenai wore for this chapter!!
- venus <3