My heart slammed in my quivering chest, my body nearly numb as it seemingly lost all sense of its tense nerve endings. My knuckles became stark white as my grip on the wine bottle tightened with each second that passed.
I felt the warm flush of my skin as I shakily raised my hand to tuck a loose curl behind my ear, my face without a doubt colored a deepened scarlet red. I stood before him in a strapped black dress that stopped just below the tattoo scribbled on my thigh, and my hair flowed in soft waves down my back.
"Jesus Lee, you're so- y-you look fucking incredible." Luke stuttered his words as his widened eyes traveled along my small figure, my breathing intensifying as I nearly pinched myself out of this horrid daydream.
"You're even more breathtaking than I remember."
This couldn't be real right? I mean this must be some sort of sick joke. What was he doing here? In Austin's house? At this party? Did Austin know him?
My mind raced with unanswered questions, each of them overwhelming my mind by the minute.
"Um- thank you." I mumbled under my breath, still struggling to find the courage to have a conversation with this man. "It's uh- been a long time."
Luke cleared his throat, his eyes averting to the ground for half a second as he purposely avoided my gaze.
"Yeah, over a year now." His voice softened as his irises slanted upwards to lock with mine, his tone sorrowful and weak.
"How have you been?"
I almost chuckled under my breath at the sound of his words. They were so casual, so nonchalant, as if we were just two old friends catching up after some time had passed. After not seeing one another for nearly a year and half, that was the best he was able to come up with.
My wandering mind sent me into a flashback, pulling me from the present moment and winding me into my haunted past.
The view from my apartment in LA was the one ease to my mind when I had trouble sleeping at night. The wondrous lights that painted the darkened sky was the only thing that made the chaotic city beautiful. I sat along the window sill in the living room, my head leaned against the wall as I dwelled with the thoughts bouncing in my mind. The coolness of the night air seeped through the open screen, summoning my goosebumps as I sat in just a loose tee shirt and underwear.
"You're not coming to bed gorgeous?"
I turned over my shoulder to see Luke leaning along the the side of the counter. The waistband of his boxer briefs hung low on his hips as his veined arms crossed against his chest, his soft green eyes glimmering in the dim moonlight.
"Come here baby." I whispered, calling him to me as I gave him a small smile.
He smoothly pushed himself off from the counter, and slowly stalked his way towards me, the grin on his face perfectly matching mine.
"What's wrong beautiful? Can't sleep?" His arms enveloped around my small frame, the warmth of his body soothing the coldness of my own as the softness of his bare skin brushed against mine.
I shook my head from side to side as my eyes burned with exhaustion, yet I couldn't possibly have felt more restless. I had stayed up late, working on some last minute deadlines, while Luke had went to bed long ago.
"I have so much work I still have to do." I mumbled under my breath, hanging my head at the amount of stress I was under at my new job.
"Well whatever it is, it can wait until the morning babe. It's lonely in bed without you." Luke whispered into the crook of my neck just before he placed his hands under my thighs to lift me into his embrace.
"What would I do without you baby?"
"Well Lee, without me you'd probably always be tired."
I giggled quietly as he carried me into our bedroom, closing the door behind us before he made his way over to our bed, and placed me down gently along the silk sheets.
He soon slid into the empty space beside me, his warm frame melting against mine as our bodies acquainted with each other.
His fingers slid carefully across the small heart tattooed just above the thin line of my panties, my heart pounding at the rough touch of his fingers along my smooth skin.
"Your heart, it's healing nicely." He said under his warm breath, his thumb continuously running back and forth along the dainty piece of ink.
"You like it?" I asked, already certain of what his answer was going to be.
"It's beautiful Lee. You are so beautiful."
I buried my head into his chest, the sound of his heart beat playing like music in my ear.
"I don't like how stressed you are with work babe. You've just started this job and you've already got too much on your plate." He glided his hand along the small of my back, comforting me as he pressed a kiss into my unruly hair.
"I'll be okay honey, don't worry about me. I just have to stick it out for a little while longer until I can get my foot in the door in the music industry. That way I'm not tied down to Hollywood for the rest of my career." I shrugged my shoulders with a glimpse of hope.
"You'll get there babe. Just promise me you won't leave me for some rockstar when you make it to the big leagues." Luke chuckled as he pulled me closer to him.
"Of course not, that would never happen. I love you Luke."
"I love you too, gorgeous."
"Lena?"
Luke's voice grounded me into reality as I couldn't help the memory from forcing its way into my clouded vision.
But instead of getting myself worked up over the sudden turn of events, I was quickly reminded of my surroundings. Though it took me a minute, I was now fully aware that the girl sitting in the window sill in LA was nothing but a distant dream. A part of my past that I hadn't visit in so long. My hand went to the front of my dress, my fingers slightly grazing over my clothed tattoo, reminding me that my heart now fully belonged to someone else. It only belonged to that beautiful man in the next room over. That beautiful, kind, patient man. And suddenly, I felt a sense of relief once again. I no longer felt like I was drowning the second I locked eyes with Luke. The thought of Austin reminded me that I was able to breath again.
"Yeah, I've been good. Really good actually. How about yourself?" I shook myself out of my head as I tried not to fumble over my words as I replied to him.
"Good. I'm- uh- living in New York now." He mumbled as he ran his fingers through his dark locks.
"Wow that's great. You've always wanted to live there." I faked a smile as I wanted nothing more than to escape our forced encounter and hide under a rock.
"Yeah, well the Big Apple isn't all it's cracked up to be." He let out a small chuckle. "How about you? Do you still have that place in LA?"
After spending so much time on tour, and the majority of it in Salt Lake City, I almost forgot all about my apartment back home in California. It felt like years since I had been there, though in actuality, it had only been a few months.
"Yeah, I do." I nodded shortly, my eyes wanting nothing more than to stay glued to ground. My hands were still tightly wrapped around the wine bottle, as I occupied them from awkwardly fidgeting.
"So what are you doing out here in Salt Lake? Do you work for someone that knows Post Malone?"
His question only dug the rabbit hole deeper, giving me certainty that there was no avoiding talking about my new relationship.
"Actually I work for Austin. I'm one of the managers on his team."
"Oh- w-wow Lena, that's really impressive. I'm really happy for you, that's incredible. You've really made it, huh?" Luke replied with widened eyes, as if he couldn't believe the words coming from my mouth.
"Yeah I guess I have." I shrugged my shoulders, feeling a sliver of confidence for the first time since the start of our interaction.
Luke and I stood still for a few seconds as we stared in silence at one another. I watched his Adam's apple bob in the base of his throat as he swallowed hard just before he opened his mouth to speak.
"Lee listen, I owe you an apology. Words cannot explain how fucking sor-"
My heart tumbled to the ground as Luke abruptly halted his apologetic spiel, his eyes slanting over my shoulder as my fists burned from my tightened grip on the icy bottle.
"Oh, Austin. Hey man, good to see you again." Luke extended his handshake as he expressed a small grin. "Luke, we met at Smitty's birthday party last summer."
The warm scent of Armani cologne and cigarettes surrounded me and I felt my spine chill though I had heard that beautiful infamous rasp time and time again.
"Hey, of course. Good to see you too. Joey's buddy from New York right?"
I watched as Austin's tattooed hand reached over my left side, taking Luke's into his.
This could not be happening.
"Yeah, wasn't sure if you'd remember." Luke chuckled as he nodded his head.
"I mean I was pretty fucked up that night but I never forget a face. Well welcome, there's plenty of booze so help yourself. I'm slowly making my way around to greet everyone but I'm doing a terrible fucking job so far. There is way more people here that I expected." Austin laughed as they both retracted their arms.
"Thanks man, I've got a Jack and Coke I've been nursing since I got here but I will definitely help myself. Yeah your house is pretty damn packed for a last minute party." Luke chuckled as I stood frozen in between them.
I felt Austin's arms reach over me as he placed his soft hands onto mine. He gently loosened my grip with ease that was still clutching desperately onto the cold bottle of wine.
"Let me, Lee." He murmured under his breath, the small of my back now pressing against his chest as he took a step closer to give me a hand.
My aching hands slowly dropped to my sides as Luke eyes slowly danced between Austin and I.
"Sheesh, I pushed that cork in a little too tight when I poured your first glass Lena. No wonder you were taking so long to bring us our drinks." Austin commented with a chuckle as he finally popped the cork from the bottle, placing it down onto the island with one hand as he gave the side of my hip a small squeeze with the other.
I turned my head to the side to meet his eyes, giving him a weak smile as I felt Luke's gaze subtly studying Austin's gesture.
"Thanks Austin." I muttered under my breath, the only words I managed to come up with since I found myself in between the two men.
"I um- I heard about the car accident, that must have been brutal. I'm glad you're doing okay man, you look like you walked away without even a scratch." Luke spoke up before taking a small sip of his mixed drink.
"I'll be the first to tell you, I'm one lucky bastard. I mean I had amnesia for a little while but I'm all good now."
"Amnesia? Jesus Christ man. That must have been one bad car crash for you to lose your entire memory." Luke raised his brows in disbelief.
"Yeah it was crazy. It was only the past 6 months of memories that were gone but still, I mean I couldn't even remember my own girlfriend." Austin chuckled as he wrapped one arm around my waist and pulled me even closer.
Luke's expression instantly dropped as his gaze slanted to mine. He said nothing as we stared at one another for a quick second as he ran his fingers through his short dark hair.
"Well I'm glad to see you're back on your feet." Luke forced a smile, his jaw clenching slightly as he gripped onto his glass.
"Austin, next rounds' starting!"
We turned around to see Jay calling from the living room as Austin gave him a short head nod before turning back around to Luke.
"Thanks man. We'll catch up a little later, let me get in on this next round of beer pong." Austin said to him before gently turning me around to face him.
"You coming angel? I can't win without my favorite beer pong partner." He gave me a small wink accompanied by that heart stopping smile that I loved so much. His hands traveled down to my hips as he towered over me, his familiar baby blue eyes comforting my wild nerves though the butterflies churning in my stomach remained on overdrive.
"I'll be right there love, let me refill my glass."
He shortly nodded in agreement before leaning in to give me a soft peck on my lips. My mouth ran dry as he let go of me, waving goodbye as he left me alone with Luke, my heart slamming in my chest with nothing but dread.
We watched as Austin walked away, waiting in silence until he turned the corner into the living room before any more words were spoken between the two of us.
"You're his girlfriend?"
I squeezed my eyes shut briefly before turning around to meet Luke's gaze. His expression was mostly unreadable as he stared down at me, a subtle but noticeable hint of jealously lurking in his eyes.
"Adam- he's Austin's photographer. He um- he helped me get the position as one of his managers and one thing led to another, so yeah." I awkwardly explained as I struggled to keep my hands from shaking while I poured my empty glass a generous three quarters full.
"I can't say I blame him. I mean it's hard not to fall in love with you. He has the most beautiful girl in the world. He's um- he's a lucky man."
I placed the bottle back down onto the counter, a sudden surge of anger flowing into my veins. I tried as hard as I could to bite my tongue but for the life of me, I could not seem to hold back.
"So were you." I seethed through gritted teeth, causing Luke to barely hang his head.
"Lena I am so sorr- "
"You know what's funny? You keep mentioning how beautiful I look tonight." I cut short his apology once again, no longer needing it after all this time.
"Tell me Luke, wasn't I beautiful on our wedding day?"