- I dare Elsa to make Jack jealous by using Hiccup.
════════════════════ ✉ ════════════════════
Elsa: Our first dare, everybody. Yey. *cheers weakly*
Merida: ...
Rapunzel: *sees Merida's reaction* What's wrong, Mer? *nudges her*
Merida: *shrugs* Uh, good luck, I guess?
Merida: Er, just don't smooch him. I mean, not that I care. It's just that... uh, his breath stinks?
Elsa: Uh, thank you for that input.
Rapunzel: No kissing. Got it! *laughs awkwardly* *hides crossed finger behind back*
Rapunzel: *points at nowhere* *fakes Scottish accent* Merida! It's Mor'du!
Merida: *widens eyes* *aims bow and arrow* WHAT? WHERE?!
Rapunzel: *hits Merida with a frying pan*
Merida: *passes out* *falls on floor*
Elsa: Cousin, was that really necess--
Rapunzel: Yes.
Elsa: *sighs* Alright, let's get this over with. The sooner we can finish this, the better it is for everyone.
Elsa: Hiccup, we need you!
Hiccup: *walks in* *biting on a bologna sandwich* You called, miladies?
Elsa: *whispers the plans to Hiccup*
Hiccup: *eyes widen* *jaw drops* *drops sandwich*
Sandwich: *while falling* In the arms of an angel~
Rapunzel: *catches sandwich*
Sandwich: Thank you, giant! You have saved my life! And for that, I am forever in your debt!
Rapunzel: *devours sandwich*
Hiccup: *stares at Elsa* Say 'sike' right now. That is arguably the worst idea in the history of worst ideas.
Elsa: Trust me, I don't like it either. But a dare's a dare, Hiccup. *shrugs*
Rapunzel: Besides, the worst Jack can do to you is freeze you to death in probably 0.78 seconds.
Hiccup: Yeah, you know, that is just not helpful. At all.
Hiccup: *sees unconscious Merida on floor* *sees the frying pan beside her*
Hiccup: What the--? Did you just hit her with your frying pan?
Rapunzel: Don't think of it as "hitting her with my frying pan;" think of it as "eliminating possibilities for errors!"
- later -
Jack: *flying around the halls* Man, this house is huge. I could get used to this. It's even bigger than Santa's worksho-- *sees Hiccelsa talking to each other*
Jack: *lands near Hiccelsa* Hey, you two. Who are we gossiping about? Is it Bunny? I've got some choice words for him too! *chuckles*
Elsa: Oh, Hiccy! How could I have been so blind all these years? Uhm... well, we've only been here for a day, but uh-- I definitely should've been spending those 24 hours with you! Not that Jack Frost!
Jack: *eyes widen* What are you--
Hiccup: *starts sweating* W-well then, m-my Queen, let's go to a far far far far far far fart fart far far far away land and rule our own kingdom and make-- I mean, have thousands of Elsa and Hiccup juniors. We're a match made in Valhalla! *shakily holds Elsa's hands*
Jack: *grips tightly on staff*
Elsa: *fakes a grin* *whispers to Hiccup* It's working. Stop sweating.
Hiccup: *whisper-yells* Sweating is an involuntary action, Elizabeth.
Elsa: I love you, Hiccup Stupendous Havoc the third! *wraps arms around Hiccup's neck*
Hiccup: *tries to sexily push Elsa to the wall*
Elsa: *bumps head on wall* Ow! Hey, that really hurts.
Jack: *raises brow*
Elsa: Um, what I mean to say was... I love you so much that it really hurts!
Hiccup: I love you, too. I especially love you more when you get my name right, though.
Elsa: *whisper-yells* Well, I'm sorry. Your name is quite the mouthful. Also, you called me Elizabeth. So, now, we're even.
Hiccup: P-pucker up, buttercup! *puckers lips*
Elsa: *slowly moves closer to Hiccup*
Jack: *clears throat* Top of the morning to ya!
Elsa: *pretends to be shocked* *pulls away from Hiccup* Jack! How long have you been standing there for?
Jack: Long enough.
Hiccup: *sweats a waterfall* *begins chanting prayers to Norse gods*
Jack: Say, Elsa. You wouldn't mind if I have a little man-to-man conversation with Hiccup, here? Boy talk, if you will. *pulls Hiccup to the side*
Hiccup: How about me? Are you gonna ask me if I mind?
Elsa: Of course, go ahead.
Hiccup: *mouths a "what the Helheim?" to Elsa*
Elsa: *mouths a "sorry" to Hiccup*
Hiccup: *sweat starts evaporating*
Jack: Hi, man.
Hiccup: Hello, man.
Jack: Rumor has it that you and Elsa have been hitting it off lately. That's cool. Very cool. I like cool things. *plays with staff*
Hiccup: *sweat condensates* Oh, really?
Jack: Really really. I just wanna give my two cents with you-- some friendly advice, you know?
Hiccup: Let's hear it! *whispers to self* Famous last words...
Jack: *whisper-yells to Hiccup* In my own personal opinion, I genuinely think it would in your best interest... and health... to back off while you're ahead. While you still have one good leg, that is.
Hiccup: *gulps*
Jack: I don't exactly know what Elsa sees in you. Maybe she has a thing for men who can fly. Beats me. I may not have a Night Fury or a flaming sword at my disposal but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let Elsa go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you and I will kill you.
Hiccup: *wants to give up and tell Jack it's a dare but--* N-no!
Jack: "No"?
Hiccup: Yes!
Jack: Yes or no?
Hiccup: What?
Jack: Oh, so it's gonna be like that, is it?
Hiccup: Yes, I love Elsa! *sings* She's a girl worth fighting foOooOr!
Jack: You're right, she is. Which is why... *aims staff at Hiccup*
Hiccup: *closes eyes* *accepts fate*
Elsa: *goes in between HiJack* Jack, put the staff away!
Jack: MOVE, SNOWFLAKE. I'VE GOT SOME MURDERING TO DO!
Hiccup: *sweat glands malfunction*
Elsa: *raises fanmail in front of Jack*
Jack: *lowers staff* What's this?
Elsa: It was a dare, Jackson. Our first dare.
Jack: A dare...?
Hiccelsa: *nods*
Jack: *scratches nape* Pft. Yeah, I knew that. Obviously. I was just playing my part! Who would fall for an act like that?
Hiccup: Someone with a singular braincell left comes to mind.
Elsa: *raises brow at Hiccup*
Hiccup: *gestures to Jack* H-he was about to kill me, Elsa. He was quoting Liam Neeson!
Jack: But, uh-- just for assurance-- you're not gonna live together and rule a kingdom and have Hiccelsa juniors, right? Not that I care. It's just that there's lots to do here, we need all the help we can get, and we can't exactly do that if you two elope. Yup.
Hiccelsa: ...
Jack: ...
Hiccup: *whispers to Elsa* I rest my case on the braincell thing.
Hiccup: Out of my way. I need to wake up a certain redhead, if you don't mind. And Jack, we're gonna need to have a serious talk about our friendship after this. Boy talk, if you will. *leaves room*
Jack: ...
Jack: *to Elsa* Well, that went well! A successful first dare. I'd say my acting was pretty up there with the Oscar fellas, huh?
Elsa: *crosses arms*
Rapunzel: *walks out of corner with camera*
Rapunzel: *talks to camera* ASK AND DARE US!
Jack: Oh, boy.