Initiating a teamfight in a game's like getting a job. When the opportunity comes, you have to start the clash. Depending on your performance, your team will win and decided the next steps. But there's a phrase existing called "winning the battle but lost the war". Why did I said that phrase? 'Coz it's literally what happened.
Defeat
Yeps. That's what happened. For the final clash, we managed to win it but forgot to secure the Nexus. In the end, it all went in vain. What's worse? It's my third defeat in today's LoL matches.
Kahit gusto kong magdabog ay kumawala na lang ang isang buntong-hininga. Mas lalong bawal dahil nandito ako sa isang computer shop. Isisisi ko na lamang sa mga batang sobrang ingay na naglalaro. Ang dahilan kaya ayaw ko ng mga bata. With a poker decided, I called it a day and went home.
Gaming is my way of unloading stress, pero mukhang lumala pa yata ang stress sa utak ko. It's really a double-edged sword. At mukhang pati ang tadhana ay pinaglalaruan din ako.
I was assigned to tour the transferee inside the school compound. The soft on the outside, crunchy on the inside girl that almost killed me with a chopstick. If someone knew that I got killed by a chopstick, my name would live on in infamy.
Although, I found her cheerful. Cheerful to the point that I found her a bit annoying. Ayaw ko lang maging blunt dahil baka masaktan ko damdamin niya. Well, my impression to Japanese people-most, if not all- are soft-hearted ones. That's why I was considering my words. Though I wanna say it's irritating. Hindi ko masabayan ang energy niya.
Samahan mo naman ako sa canteen!
Maaari ba akong sumama?
Hindi ito kasinglaki ng mga paaralan sa Japan ngunit masasabi kong kanais-nais ang paaralang ito!
She's like a dog following her master! Not that I care, pero kulang na lang ay sundan niya ko hanggang restroom. Bukod pa rito ay dada siya ng dada about random things. And I was sure she would pester me the whole time! That hag of a girl.
May isang paraan lang para 'di ko siya makita. Tamang tambay na lang sa restroom.
Kung 'yun lang ang tanging paraan. Sana lang ay wala masyadong tao ang restroom nila. Hindi kagaya ng ibang school, mainly public schools-sorry in advance- na hindi masyadong maayos ang CR. That's what I observed back on my earlier days.
Pagkauwi ko sa bahay ay kaagad akong kumain at natulog. Or so I thought. Nagbasa pa pala muna ako sa GC naming mag-to-tropa. At isang 'di kanais-nais na bagay ang aking nakita. Kung kasama ko lang siya rito, kanina ko pa kinukurot ang pisngi niya.
Nakakadiring pangyayari, I thought. Gusto ko na lang magpalamon sa lupa.
Totoo nga ang sinabi ni Rhiana. Na may picture siya ng eksena namin ni Jasmine. Magmumukha talaga kaming magkayakap. Ang reaksyon ko? Simple lang.
Rhiana, mag-uusap tayo bukas. (•‿•)
Rhiana:
Kuya, huwag po! Magpapakabait na po ako (*﹏*;)
Di ko alam kung tatawa ba ako o maawa, just a wry smile escaped on my lips. Baka kapag nagsabi niya ng Please, sorry na! with matching upturned eyes and cute voice, di ko alam kung mabubuhay pa ko. But heck, I'll just do it. Lagot siya sa kin bukas. May atraso na naman siyang kailangang bayaran.
****
Abala para sa akin ang trabahong binigay sakin ni Sir. Aaminin kong may kalakihan ang school namin pero siguradong kaya ni Alcantara na gawin ang paggala mag-isa. Isang unnecessary task. Period.
Since I already calculated the time of travel, as well as my prep time,nakakarating ako ng sakto o ilang minuto bago mag-Jingle Bells. By the way, it's already Monday. Again. Tapos na naman ang weekends na paborito kong mga araw.
I just hated my job. That's all. Ayaw ko lang na samahan ang aming transferee dahil hindi ako komportable sa kaniya. Iyon lang naman ang ginawa ko sa dalawang araw na iyon. And besides, if she could manage to study abroad, she must be rich. And a plebian like me wouldn't be suitable for a well-manner girl(on the surface) like her.
Lemme call this operation as Project: Lowkey.
At dahil morning recess na ay nagpa-stuck muna ako sa restroom ng mga five minutes. At pagkatapos ay umalis na at pumunta sa tambayan namin-sa tapat ng gymnasium.
As expected, nandoon silang lima. My dear companions. Something lit in my heart. To the point that my body moved itself.
I just found myself churning my right fist around her head with my left arm around Rhiana's neck. Nakakagigil eh kaya may diin. At ito naman siya, cute na dumadaiing. Narinig ko naman ang buntong-hininga ng mga babae ko kasama. I even heard Alyzha murmured "Ginawa niya nga".
Salamat sa mahiwagang hampas ni Reiza, napilitan akong pakawalan si Rhiana. Si Mike? Napakamot na lang sa ulo habang umiinom ng Dutch Mill. I found it cute kapag ini-ignore niya lang ang commotion namin.
"Sorry na nga eh! Ate Lyzha oh! Si Steven, nananakit!" With crocodile tears and faked sobs, Rhiana launched herself to Alyzha. She patted Rhiana's head while glaring daggers to me. Gan'on din si Reiza na pinapadyak-padyak ang paa.
Wait, is fighting fire with fire really that bad? C'mon. I thought. With a poker face, I decided to eat cheesecake I bought from a convenience store outside. Ito lang naman ang paraan ko para iwasan ang babaeng 'yun.
"Mamon, huh?" Mike spoke. "Sa'n ka nakabili ng mamon?"
"Sa labas. Ayaw ko kasing makita si babae." I groaned as I remembered how I was obliged to accompany her.
"Lagot ka! Hinahanap ka n'on!" Reiza jested. "Mabuti na lang at kasama niya si Jasmine. Honestly, di ko alam kung bakit ikaw ang naging kaibigan n'ung dalawa."
My shoulder jerked. I must admit na tama 'yung kay Jasmine, pero yung kay Alcantara? Kaibigan kaagad? Probably acquaintance would be the right term. Her face or lingo wasn't the reason. I just hate her vibes and the way she attracted people. Or was that all? Kinda vague for me to answer.
Bukod pa r'on, posibleng ang pinapakita niya sa school ay isa lamang maskara. Probably what I saw when we're alone was her true nature. When I was reading a narrative of a Jekyll-Hyde type-or a nice yet dark character-those were my favorite types. Yet seeing for myself, it's scary. She might badmouth me out of spite.
A girl version of a Spartan, or probably, like Artemis. She would surely shoot me with arrows until I became a cold corpse. Or at the case yesterday, being shot by chopsticks.
As I felt my hairs were raising, a gentle chop touched my head. "Nilalangaw na ang pagkain mo," Alyzha said, her hand's still on my head.
Blinking twice then thrice, I munched it until the mamon's no more. Kaagad akong lumagok ng dala kong tubig at tumingin-tingin sa paligid. Dahil nagtatago ako kay Alcantara ay kailangan kong maging alerto. Baka makita niya ako at kaladkarin kung saan man niya gusto.
I let their idle chatter continue as I tried to calculate the time and character of that person. This would be an inaccurate interpretation but it's better than nothing.
Based on the traffic, she would spend in a range of four to ten minutes. She's probably punctual and persistent so she could wait when the traffic becomes heavy. After taking her order, she would surely go back to our classroom ASAP. The time now was 9:24. So I could spend time with them until a few minutes before the next half of morning session. The crowd also helped blending me on the surroundings. I also had my mask. And coincidentally, I had frequent sneezes. For real. I wasn't faking it. Swear.
While it's possible, I couldn't be certain so I was occasionally panning my head. Baka bigla siyang sumulpot at tutukan ako ng chopstick. Ayaw ko pang mamatay. Marami pa kong pangarap sa buhay.
Besides, the students would surely make fuzz about Alcantara's appearance. Some would talk about his beauty or anything related to the word transferee. And speaking of transferee.
"Posible kayang..."
I remembered Rhiana's fleeting sentence this morning. Matutupad kaya ang hiling niya na dumating si babae?
My phone vibrated. I grabbed it and read the recent chat. The message? Look on your right. Seems she's here. Well good luck finding us.
Wait. She's here? That girl's here? I thought she's studying somewhere.
"Y'all. That girl's here." My side-long glance went to right as a familiar creature was approaching us. I could feel their confused looks directed to her.
Kasing-tangkad ko siya. May morenang balat na tila ba'y nagbibigay ng ibang aura sa kaniya. A straight black hair, obviously kinda rebonded wearing the girl's uniform. Her eyes were sparkling, probably due to delight of meeting us. With a smile showing her teeth, she wave slightly.
Nang nakalapit na siya sa'min(particularly, sa'kin) ay nagwika ito, "Hello, guys!"
"Yow! How was it, Holly?" I casually said with a girn.
"Long time no see, Carol. Akala ko sa iba ka mag-aaral?" Mike said with a hint or surprise.
"Alam niyo naman, miss na miss ko kayo eh," Holly jested.
I glanced at the girls at parang mga estatwa sila dahil sa gulat. I tried knocking at Rhiana's head. Unfortunately, she didn't budge. So they're rock-solid huh. I would expect them to pounce her in three, two, on-
And they did. They embraced Carol whose smiling gleefully. Seeing a friend entered the scene gave them the joy that could melt everyone's hearts. Our eldest-Rhiana-was sobbing in Carol's shoulders. Guess the word joyful, isn't enough to convey her feelings. This was an instagrammable moment, I admit. But I decided to watch them had their drama instead.
Holly Carol Esperanza. She shouldn't be studying here and we thought she's going somewhere. Nonetheless, she's here with us.
Matapos ang kaunting drama ay nagpatuloy na sila sa kanilang usapan. Nang sumapit ang limang minuto bago tumunog ang bell ay nagkahiwa-hiwalay na kami. Ang mga babae ay pumunta muna sa CR para mag-freshen up. Kaming dalawa ni Mike ay agad ng umakyat ng building.
Pagkarating ko sa room ay bumungad sa akin ang kampon ng mga babae; na nakapalibot kay Alcantara. Looking closely, it seemed like she was being invited to their clique or something. Not that it was my business. Though...
One of them was sitting on my seat. On my freaking seat. Based on her makeup, she's one of the bitches in class. I glanced to her companions and they're more or less the same. Though their faces could produce charm itself, their makeup worsen their faces. Parang kumain ng bubblegum na sinapak. Halos magpalit na sila ng mukha. Kulang na lang ay kantahin ko ang Sirena at parampahin sila.
"Um, maaari po ba kayong umalis sa pwesto ko?" I asked formally.
The bitch glared like a sharp blade which I ignored. "Mamaya na, breaktime pa naman." Annoyed, she clicked her tongue.
What a drag. If I spoke a word, it would worsen the situation. As much as I wanna badmouth him, I decided to lean against the wall until they leave.
As I had some sort of powers, the bell rang in a snap of my fingers. Now I have a justifiable reason to kick her out of my seat. Or so I thought. Nakaupo pa rin siya sa upuan ko, regardless of the bell. Kahit sabihan ko ito ay walang kwenta lamang ang magiging pagtatalo namin. Well, ganyan talaga ang mga estudyante. Magtatalaktakan pa rin hangga't wala pa ang teacher. I must admit that I do that sometimes.
When our teacher entered the scene, my seat became vacant. Some of my classmates returned to their seats, and so do I. And the hell of a subject called Political Science did its commencement. I really hate this briefing for an upcoming word war.
****
For the past few days ay maayos na naisagawa ang Project: Lowkey. At least, hindi ito niya ito ma-misinterpret bilang pag-iwas ko sa kaniya. There were also times na kailangan kong kausapin siya for groupings and questions na 'di ko na-gets. Somehow ay nagiging smooth naman ang lahat. My actions cannot be categorized as hostility. This should be considered as caution or awareness.
Better safe than sorry. Hindi ako makokontento hangga't 'di ko nasisiguradong genuine ang ginagawa niyang mga aksyon. In retrospect to my skepticism, the students were frequently giving attention to her. Even the teachers were somehow amazed to her conduct. To be honest, she should study in an all-girls academy.
Kung may mga natutuwa sa kaniya, siguradong may mga naiinis din. May mga nag-iisip na bida-bida siya, sipsip, at iba pang backstabbing comments. Unfortunately, I was different. I always consider both sides and choose what was the safest. You could say I was evading but I wouldn't choose both unless necessary.
Wednesday lunch time, I was alone as always. Medyo malakas ang ulan kaya mahihirapan kaming pumuntna ng canteen. The only thing I forgot was my lunch. Though may natira pa naman ako sa mga binili ko sa convenience store.
Oh well, I'll just do it. Bilang pampalipas ng oras ay binuksan ko ang aking cellphone at nagbasa ng PDF ng isa sa pinakapaborito kong novel. No Longer Human by Osamu Dazai. I really found his works interesting. The dark concept, the creepiness and the character development. Balak ko sanang i-download ang iba pa niyang akda but I don't feel like it.
Mag-fo-focus na sana ako sa pagbabasa nang may naka-display na ulo sa aking kanan. With a side-long glance, a familiar girl entered my vision. Britney Alcantara, the one I'd been avoiding these days. Then I realized...she's too close to the point that I could count her eyelashes. Her scent tickled my nose, making me gulp. Why on earth...
"No Longer Human, huh. Nagbabasa ka rin pala niyan."
Her warm breath brushed my cheeks. I couldn't help but be annoyed. She wouldn't approach me if she had no business to me.
"What's your business? Ayaw ko sa lahat ay nang-iistorbo sa pagbabasa ko." My eyes shifted to my phone.
"Oh, sorry! Pinapatawag ka ng ating guro."
Her index finger pointed ahead which I followed. Gen. Math's our last sub for morning session so automatic na si Sir Albores ang instructor namin. Pero ba't niya ako ipapatawag? So far ay 'di naman ako nagsisimula ng gulo.
Don't tell me...agh! Ito na naman tayo. Alam ko na ang mga sasabihin ni Sir. Patungkol na naman 'to sa transferee namin. Mukhang napapansin na niya ang Project: Lowkey. Great, Sir Albores.
Obliged, I stood up and helped him carry his things. Mabuti na lamang ay dito lamang din sa building na 'to ang faculty room niya. On the first floor, if I got it right. Ayaw ko pa namang mabasa. Pero mas mabuti na siguro 'to kaysa sa presensya ni Alcantara. Magagawa ko pa ang Project: Lowkey ko.
"Nyare sa trabaho natin, Legaspi?" Sir Albores brushed his hair. "Napapadalas yata ang pang-iiwas mo kay Alcantara. Mabuti na lamang ay sinasalo ka ni Delos Reyes."
Woah. Casual siyang makipag-usap sakin ah. Paano ko siya kakausapin? Formal or frank? Baka mag-tunog rude ako at mapa-guidance pa ako for real. I said what's currently on my mind. Mabuti na lamang ay pinayagan niya akong kausapin siya in a frank manner.
And I answered his question with this shallow reason.
"Sir, baka husgahan kasi nila ako. Like, "Bakit nila kasama ang isang pangit na introvert na 'to?" Sorta thing."
He only answered with a nod. I could feel the dissatisfaction on that gesture. "I could imagine the scenario."
What the... Sir, you're with me, were you? Were you sympathizing me or making me annoyed? With a poker face, I hid those clashing thoughts. Mabuti na lamang ay hinayaan niya kong kausapin siya casually. Pero hindi ko siya mumurahin syempre.
"But hindi iyon ang dahilan, tama?" he asked. I thought he would say it coldly, but it seemed its just in pure curiosity. I could feel it.
Should I say it or not? The words I would spit were kinda deep. Hindi ko alam kung makukumbinsi ko ba siya o hindi. Probably a question would be a good starter. "Before I answer that, sir, can I ask you something?"
His eyebrows knitted, yet nodded in response. I spoke, "What do you believe the most? The belief of Hobbes or the belief of Locke?"
Ang tao ay natural na masama o ang tao ay natural na mabuti. Siguradong magandang topic ito para sa debate. Though I understood both sides, I wanna hear his perspective. Though, I was certain that he would agree to Locke's perspective.
"Hmm. Locke's belief," he replied. As I expected. "God created us to be good. Guilt will not exist kung walang kabutihan ang tao. I mean, walang silbi ang kilos-loob kung walang kabutihan sa puso ng tao. At kung walang kilos-loob o morals ang tao, walang batas na magpoprotekta sa'tin, tama? Bukod pa d'on, may mga nagsasagawa rin ng charity para sa mga nasalanta ng bagyo, nasunugan at iba pa. Kahit mga frat nga, nagsasagawa rin nyan."
I nodded, "Well, I somehow agree to you. Lahat po ng mga sinabi niyo ay sensible. I cannot deny that. However..."
I shot a glance to my surroundings and I realized we're climbing down to second floor already.
"It exists in idealistic sense," I continued. "Have you ever noticed the dark side of everyone?"
"Huh? Dark side, huh? Well, I have my own demons suppressed somewhere in me," he replied, carressing his chin. "What's your point?"
Cleared my throat, I continued, "Are those laws have really no loopholes? Siguradong ang mga politiko, madalas may hidden agenda ang mga 'yan. Bakit ayaw nilang imulat ang kabataan sa mga bagay kagaya ng stock exchange? Ayaw kasi nilang maging mas mayaman kami kaysa sa kanila. Mga prayle nga ginamit ang otoridad nila para sa mga sariling pagnanasa."
Maawa naman kayo kina Sisa at Huli, I thought. Well, they're just raped by those carnal friars. Kung may na-offend man, pasensya na po. If I opened this topic to a close-minded priest, baka sabihin niyang lapastangan ako sa Diyos or binabastos ko sila.
With a hmm, he went into deep thought. He must be analyzing my words. Ako naman ay kinakabahan kasi baka matalisod siya sa daan. Dagdag abala pa 'yun sa'kin. At siguradong kapag tinulungan ko siya, he might say "Told ya, ang tao ay natural na mabuti" or something like that.
After his silence, he replied, "So you believe to the phrase "If there's a light, there's always a shadow"?"
"Exactly!" I grinned, "Whether you like it or not, you cannot separate your dark side. Your shadow will always haunt you. Well, it's a Jekyll and Hyde thingy. I also believe that the real attitude appears when someone's alone."
"Thus, you wanna investigate Alcantara's real self? Something like that?"
"Yeps. Hindi kasi ako mapalagay kung hindi genuine ang kausap ko."
"How about your friends? For instance, Ms. Balagtas? Parang magkakilala na kayo dati pa ah." Sir Albores glanced on his watch. I did the same on my phone. It's almost half past twelve.
"They're my friends when I was a fool. So far, they're genuine and I don't wanna lose them," I replied honestly.
"And how about Jasmine?" he added.
"She's not a fool like my classmates and I somehow mirrored the old me...I guess," I said with my confidence wavering.
Sir Albores smiled uncomfortably, "Parang sinabi mong ikaw na ang pinakamatalinong estudyante ko ah."
"I'm an intelligent kid, sir," I bragged unconsciously, "If I feel like it."
I blinked thrice when I realized we're already at the ground floor. Medyo basa na rin ang sahig kaya medyo kailangan naming mag-ingat. Dinig na dinig ko na rin ang mga patak ng ulan.
What's surprising was our chat went smoothly. Parang sa isang kislap ay nagkaroon ako ng kumpyansang kausapin si Sir. Just like we're just friends or something. Perhaps because he's still on his mid-20s? Something like that, I don't know.
"While I wanna know more details, let's call it a day then."
Ibinigay ko naman ang mga gamit niya. We bid ourselves goodbye and I set my eyes on him 'til he entered the faculty room. Guess he's not just an interesting teacher. He's also an interesting person himself.
****
The dismissal was commenced for today, thus our classroom became noisy while we're fixing our things. Medyo nangingibabaw pa rin ang amoy ng ulan, pero sa kabutihang palad ay tumigil ito.
Since an inevitable urge was dominating my system, I quickly exited the room and did my business on the restroom. With its dimly lit surroundings, I could feel that I was in peace. Walang kasama, mabuti na lamang at malinis ang banyo.
Well, whatever. I'll just do it and go home. As I was exiting the restroom, I was startled by someone's presence. The figure also flinched and stepped back and I realized she was...Jasmine?
"Why are you here?" I asked. If she's going to the female's restroom, it's on the other side.
"Um...eh...I'm waiting for you?" She lowered her head, probably to hide her embarrassment.
With that awkward reply, we're swallowed in total silence. Her words repeated on my mind like a broken disc. Jasmine brushed her hair to the side.
A strained smile formed across my lips with the thoughts "She's waiting for me?". Indeed, waiting for me was suspicious enough. But how she became certain that I'd arrive to the restroom? I blinked twice, then thrice, grasping the situation. This wasn't for a leisure walk, right?
Clearing her throat, she spoke, "Anyway, I somehow worried about her. Kanina ko kasi siyang lumabas kasama ng tatlong kaklase kanina."
I couldn't help but arch a brow. Though it's kinda vague, her voice and expression was enough to state her intention. But I wonder what's happening. She's unusual serious.
"By her, you mean Alcantara?" I asked.
She did a quick nod. "Napapansin mo rin minsan na nilalapitan siya nina Maricar, tama?"
Maricar? Seems a given name. Then the three bitches resurfaced on my memory. So one of them was the Maricar girl huh. Guess I already had a vague idea about their intention.
The thing that I was afraid from happening was being clashed by the people being consumed by envy. Idolizing wasn't that bad. Following your role model isn't bad at all. What's bad was when you reached the top, expect someone who will drag you down. Highlighting their flaws, doing dirty work, stomping someone's humanity.
That Maricar struck me as a queen bee type. Kapag dinagdag pa ang ugali, halatang kulang sa pansin sa magulang o sadyang mataas ang ego. By crashing someone weak, they would feel some sort of satisfaction and reach for more power. I somehow sympatize to Alcantara since she seemed fragile and kind. Though unfortunately...
"Alcantara can do it. She's not your typical girl though," I assured, but it seemed didn't convinced her.
"She's still a girl though," she insisted. "Hindi natin masisiguradong ligtas ang kalalabasan n'un."
"Sa rooftop ba ang lokasyon nila?" I asked. Jasmine nodded. Tch, how typical of them. "There should be a CCTV camera there, right? Then she would be fine."
"That might be the case but...I...still...wanna help her."
She meekly lowered her head, like a kid realizing her mistakes. I wonder what's churning inside her head right now. Why was she dragging me to help that girl? She's physically capable and intelligent. But...
While I was racking some excuses to flee, I was also considering the possibilities. CCTV, sprayed by canister. The girls might also play the victim card and wreck Alcantara's reputation. But still, what should I do? Should I flee? But Jasmine might insist and seeing her sad face would make me feel guilty.
I shut a glance again. Her upturned eyes hinting her plead, like some sort of puppy eyes. And my conscience was also bothering me. Siguradong wala na masyadong mga estudyante ngayon. At siguradong walang makakapansing tao sa mga nangyayari sa rooftop.
After minutes of clashing to myself, I slipped my hands through my pockets and silently walked a bit faster.
"Steven! Sa'n ka pupunta?" she asked.
Her heels rang as she followed my pace. Being a bit considerate, I slowed down. Feeling my wrist being tightened, I faced Jasmine.
"Saan pa ba? Kung saan nangyayari ang pinangangambahan mo."
Displaying her innocent, pleased look, she aligned to me. It's an adorable sight yet I still ignored it. Sometimes, her charms was working to my pessimistic views. And I would only do this because of Jasmine.
But internally, my mind was still clashing why I decided to help Alcantara. There are things that cannot be seen by anyone. That's why I always consider any posibilities and racking my brain for the most realistic action. And also the reason why I wanna investigate their real selves, something like that. Maricar might be a clever person despite being academically idiot. Alcantara might be an attention-seeker that's why she's friendly and stuff. There's always a shadow that couldn't be seen by everyone.
Naalala ko tuloy ang napag-usapan namin kanina ni Sir Albores. The belief of Locke vs the belief of Hobbes.
Realistically speaking, people are born naturally evil. Or probably, that's what I believe due to what I always witnessed. Politicians being greedy. Policemen being murderers. Some of the teachers giving inequal treatment. Even kids being greedy by fighting a useless quarrel to their favor. As what we've been seeing today, people are being selfish. And selfishness is connected to greed-one of the Seven Deadly Sins.
But honestly, I was still hoping that people are really born naturally good. That there's still a chance to live the life happily and without worries. The time that my countrymen would disregard the caste system and treat themselves equally. I sincerely wish it...from the bottom of my heart.
With those thoughts churning on my mind, I moved forward and climbed up the stairs.