Tw: mentions of auditory hallucinations, nightmares,, Insomnia. (Also the voices in techno's head✨)
It had always been hard for Wilbur to sleep, not too hard but enough to hinder his schedule. And something was off, he'd been avoiding it more than ever now.
It never sat well with techno, the rare occasion he did get up, he'd see Wilbur staying up. Techno thought he could watched his brother's pattern to see if this was just a coincidence. as Dadza put dinner on the table, wilbur was happy, talking, peppy. Even made snarky comments on his little brother, tommy. Which of course, made tommy curse Wilbur out, but Wilbur was off, any time Phil was there, he'd act normal; even with a turn of their backs, though. It made his mannerisms change, slower, like he'd been hiding it from Phil. When their dinner had been finished, Wilbur had left to his room, saying goodnight with a half hazard wave. Techno stayed in the dining room, though. Watching as tommy Left, running up the stairs to get back to a game he'd been playing as quick as possible. Phil had yelled out, already cleaning the plates,, a
"Slow down, you just ate you could hurt your stomach!" techno looked at his dad for a moment, squinting his eyes and standing next to him.
"Not only that, there's the risk of acid reflux, falling down the flight of stairs which could cause multiple concussions that make you more susceptible to permanent d-" he got cut off from a laugh from Philza, just looked at techno. To which he looked back with a pretty blank slate expression.
"Jesus, mate, I don't want to traumatize him"
"But it's true-?"
"BuT hEs A KiD. You tell him that and he'll never run again"
"I doubt that" Techno gave a huff, then looked down at the others hands, "Phil" he said simply, which earned a soft
"Yeah?" from the other, looking up just as Techno had been putting his long, pink colored hair up in a bun,
"Let me wash them. You did a lot today, go rest." more of a command than anything, the monotone voice didn't help, neither did the height difference. Phil had fluttered his wings, looked at techno for a moment before giving a joking,
"Less work for me" and a laugh as he dried his hands "But seriously, big help. thanks, techno." his ear twitched, about to give a soft nod before being pulled down by his arm. Phil giving him a kiss on the forehead, and a "Goodnight" before stepping away. Techno gave a soft exhale, the sound of water running filling his ears,, having them twitch as a strand of hair came loose, huffing it out of his own face.
Finishing the dishes in a couple minutes, sacking them atop each other, drying his hands and stepping away, pausing for a moment, leaned on the table as voices in his head fought, fogging his mind. His ADHD didn't help, just constant "EEEE" which Phil called tinnitus, but to be fair it was probably overlapping single 'E's in his head, exhaling as the rest of them made violent quotes from videogames, or just straight up begging for bloodshed. it wasn't long after they'd quieted down that Wilbur's door opened again.
Techno turned his head, just to see his brother trying to be quiet as he snuck out of his room, shutting the door carefully.
Wilbur had been staying in his room until he had heard everyone leave just to Avoid that uncomfortable talk that would eventually have to happen. His footsteps easily muted on carpet, just to look up and flinch. It had been dark out, so all he'd seen was the reflection of light off of the lenses of their glasses, along with the earrings that dawned his pointy ears. It was, incredibly intimidating for only a moment before realizing it was just his brother, exhaling. "You scared me"
Techno raised an eyebrow, standing up and walking up to them, his glare no doubt intimidating, piercing like he could look right through them. "shouldn't you be asleep, wilbur?" he tilted his head.
"I couldn't sleep"
"Seems like you 'couldn't sleep' for a while now, when's the last time you did?"
That made Wilbur nervous, "I slept just fine yesterday, I don't know what you're talking about." even worse when his older brother didn't reply immediately, waited in thought for a second or two before saying a simple
"Alright" with a sigh. Techno stepping away, sitting at the table "Well even if I'm not going to force you to tell me, don't think I don't know what's going on"
Fuck. Wilbur quietly laughed, slightly uncomfortably that he'd just called him out. sat across from techno, his arm folded on the table, tapping the table in a desperate attempt to get his brain going. "Hhhey you ever notice that in the song 'flashing lights' at first it means paparazzi but then hints that his girl caught him cheating and said 'I never thought that you would take it this far' meaning that the 'flashing lights' were police cars-?" Filler ramble,
(This is true by the way, listen to it it's a good song 🤙)
Techno just looked at him with a blank stare, giving a hum. "How is that relevant-?" simple question, having his elbow on the table, leaning his head on his hand.
"Well, it's not; not like you're going to start the conversation, though"
Techno gave an upset grunt, his ears dropping. “I thew a topic, you just didn't want to catch it. Not my problem.” got up to get them both a glass of ice water, tinks of Ice hitting the clear cup making the voices go dead silent for just a moment, just to fire up again with trying to diagnose his brother, others having so much aggression in them that he'd never even dare to tell his siblings.
The sweat on the outside of the cup from the ice water on the inside would ruin the table; not that Technoblade cared, really but he knew Phil liked how it looked, set both glasses on the counter to look through drawers, grabbing two coasters, setting them on the table, with the cups on them; the one on techno's side having a straw in it. Only to watch Wilbur put his cup on the table to spin the coaster instead of actually using it. It didn't have time to fully upset him, though. His focus now towards their facial expressions, dead silent with a look as though he'd been weighing options, trailing the edge of the cup with his finger.
The silence was filled with loud voices that never went unheard, for techno, Cold coating his throat; drinking directly from a cup was hard with tusks, which is why he used straws. It also meant less direct contact with his teeth, which were sensitive to temperature so he wasn't about to complain.
Wilbur did decide to talk, though. “Alright, well I don't want tommy or Phil to worry, but I know you probably won't as much so as long as you don't speak a word of this to them, fine.” which lead the other to raise an eyebrow; techno did agree, though, didn't even ask why. Wil gave a sigh, looking away for a moment, taking a drink from his cup before returning his eyes, “You're right, and- it's not that I don't want to” the coaster fell as he was talking, interrupting himself somewhat, finally putting it down with the cup resting on top of it. “I'd love to sleep, but it's not exactly that easy. I don't think you'd know anything about it, but it's like, voices--”
Believe techno when he says he was slightly offended until he remembered that the only one that knew was philza. And that feeling only grew during the conversation, I mean, Wil was old enough to know, probably would scare him but old enough to tell him to suck it up.
“And any time I close my eyes, I know they're not real but they have depth and I can hear how far away they are. I can never remember what they say, just that they give me headaches; every time I do fall asleep they scare me into nightmares that I don't want to even try to remember” Wilbur put his hands up on the sides of his head, as if to show their crushing nature on his thoughts, having his hands fall back down on the table just to go three fourths of the way but not enough to reach his older brother. He didn't need to, though, The piglin had looked at his hands for a moment before setting on of their hands on top of his, which was enough of an effort to ask of them, honestly. Furrowed eyebrows, his chin on the table. The darkness of the dream lingered in his mind, sighing. “Now that I bring it up it's in my head anyways, it's going to bother me either way so let me just explain it.” he sat up, scooted his chair in to keep his hand close to techno's. “Philza- standing in the middle of a wreckage with his wings blasted and burnt to oblivion, and- I knew I had somehow caused it” that made techno's ears pirk up, now showing a small bit of interest. “I was-- wearing a trenchcoat, and it was so vivid, looking out of the wreck just to see a crowed of people once known as friends looking at us both with the most horrid look I've ever seen of just- betrayal.” he continued, seeming to remember as he went, pausing to remember the rest of his dream. “When I turned back to Philza, I felt the sting of yelling in my throat but the dream didn't have noise, and I Remember-” he paused. “I remember shoving a sword in his arms, knowing I was telling him to kill me; no matter how much I did, it felt like forever to get him to listen, just seeing him refuse. It Felt like something I had made from the ground up was something I turned into just the remains of a once happier time, everybody had wanted me dead because I'd blown up my whole... purpose, really. everyone including me, but excluding dadza- and- I just remember feeling that cold hard sting from him, just remember how much the tears burned, but knowing that- that meant a lot to me, and I always wake up from that d- well, I guess it'd be more of a nightmare,, but it's always me waking up in a cold sweat. Same one every single time-”
There was a rather long quiet that followed after that, techno tapping the side of his glass cup for a moment before taking off his glasses, folding them. “Okay,” was his response, a small bit of tone in his voice, looking at the other who had their eyes shut. “okay,” he repeated “Do you want me to stay with you tonight?” he offered, which Wilbur lifted his head to; gave a slow response but ended up going with yes. Technoblade stood up from his chair, his hooves making noise every time he stepped, stood next to Wilbur, putting a hand on his back. “Come on, you'll sleep in my room tonight” the other stood up, followed techno to his room.
Wilbur had never actually been allowed in their room, so when he stepped foot in their room, it was- actually a nice change in tone, wasn't as intimidating to be in than his own room, which was odd, it wasn't a secret that they had decor like skulls but the red blanket with gold tracing the white outlines of it, before he could say a word techno spoke
“Sorry if it's not-” a brief pause “Quite you enough”
To which Wilbur shook his head, then put up his hands “It's your room, I don't expect it to look like mine.” gave one of the first genuine smiles in a while. Lead to the bed, he was- basically tucked in, you could tell they'd done this before, with Tommy, with Wilbur when he was a kid. They gave a grunt, stepping over to the other side of his bed to sit down, pausing before going through a bedside table drawer.
“Do you want a melatonin gummy?” techno asked, then shook a small container. Looking over just to see Wilbur's confused face. “Don't worry, it won't knock you out or anything. It's just to help kickstart your brain into producing the chemical that allows you to sleep or feel sleepy. Try one,” he gave them the bottle, looking towards his bedside table. He could read to calm down the voices and wake the other up of they started having a nightmare, I mean, that meant no sleep for him but that's been Wilbur's everyday for how long? His thoughts were interrupted when Wilbur hugged his waist, still laying down as techno was sitting up. They mumbled something with their face hid, which he couldn't hear over the voices. He lifted up Wilbur's head, having them look at him but at the cost of having their chin digging into techno's side, which- ow. “Say it again?”
“I'm scared” was muttered, made techno pet Wilbur's hair.
“Hey, there's no need to be. I'm here for you, promise I'll protect you from anything, alright?” the other looking at him for a moment, as if checking to see if they trusted him, but eventually said a small
“Okay, thank you.”
he gave a hum, again, petting their hair and sighing. “You're not going to let me stay up without you staying up, too, are you?” he asked, to which Wilbur shook his head. It made techno laugh, just for a moment before he pushed them away by putting a hand on their face, stepping off the bed just to get back on under the covers, laying on his back and staring at the ceiling, exhaling as Wilbur hugged him again. You know, once you've done the same song and dance for a million times, you'd expect your enjoyment to wither into sand, but at least to techno, it didn't get old. Seeing tommy act the same way Wilbur did when scared showed so much on how they both influenced each other. Both good kids, good brothers that drew each other crazy. Techno's arm under Wilbur as they clung to him for the safety he promised. He closed his eyes for a moment only to fall asleep.
Waking up in the morning as the sun came up on a Sunday morning, about to get up before realizing there was still a heavy weight on his arm, looking over in silence just to grunt, at least they were actually sleeping. It was another hour of techno staring at the ceiling before he could move, Wilbur waking up and sitting up, rubbing an eye as techno rolled his shoulder to pop it, exhaling. “Good morning,” he spoke, taking out the bun in his hair as he waited for the other to fully wake up. “How'd you sleep?” he asked, then had a pretty quick response.
“Better than I have in what feels like forever, the dream was different this time. I was slightly transparent, and I was petting a sheep I'd given the name friend to, and I remember you being patient with me about being excited over a sheep even though you were doing something more important, and I remember giving you blue dye because it was the only thing I really had-” Wilbur paused, then dove hugged techno. Which earned a grunt, and huff from techno, but had themselves rub Wilbur's back
“Thank you, Technoblade.”