Is she really leaving?
I never thought watching one of the only people you truly care for walk away from you would hurt so bad.
I may hide under my cool, calm demeanor, but that's all it is, a mask, to protect my heart that has already been broken once by her. I don't even think she knows how I truly feel, but to protect myself once again I make sure to hide it under the surface and freeze all those perplexing emotions she fills me with so I don't get hurt again. The way I feel may be confusing but I know its true and it feels so right, she just can't know.
I made a mistake these past months, I let her in again. The way she made me feel felt too great to ignore, but here we again with my world crumbling and her being the cause. She broke my heart again and is leaving me here now in pieces. I don't think she realizes my heart has always been hers since the moment I saw her. Always hers.
She cant leave me after I know she feels the same. I know it now and I can't let her go like last time.
I watch her throwing her bags into the bed of her truck, as her mom says her goodbyes for the holidays and I know this truly is happening. It may only be for a few weeks but it feels like this is a goodbye to us, her way of saying there's no future for us, but I know there is, I just know it.
I know I seem like an unshakeable guy that truly cares for nothing and no one, but when someone breaks down my walls and embeds themselves into my heart there really is no length I won't go to get them back.