I played safe. That's what my brothers and closest friends tell me repeatedly.
Everyone else in the world would consider me lucky. Everyone viewed my life as a fairytale turned into reality. Bakit nga naman kasi hindi? How things managed to unfold over the past few years could indeed be perceived as a magical story— it looked too good to be true for those who do not truly know what I had gone through behind closed doors.
I was born of privilege they say, being the only daughter of two of the wealthiest families in the world and being married to a family of the same caliber. Although in a sense it is true, I have always thought of my life differently. I believed for years that just like my parents, I will be able to marry out of love— the kind of love that I wanted for myself.
I wouldn't say I married completely without love...but this was far different from what I envisioned. As my best friends Coen, Pierre, and Nico would always tell my husband and I, we simply settled.
I settled for a love that did not make my heart full, but brought my heart peace. I settled for a love that did not bring me magic but brought me solemnity. I settled for a love that did not bring me surreal happiness but brought me a certain one.
After investing my heart into who I considered the greatest love of my life, being in a relationship with him for over a year, going through the toughest of times when we broke up, picking myself up from the mess I got myself into, this is where it led me.
I did not end up marrying Gavin Indigo Suárez.
Instead, I married one of my best friends, Enzo Enchavez, for convenience.
It has been years since I walked away from the life I had in the Philippines. When I left, I remember thinking that I would never have enough reason to come back. I was ready to forget everything that could ever possibly ignite my desire to ever do, and was decided on starting a completely new life.
After leaving, I have only visited the Philippines four times— all for necessary reasons. First was to apply for law school, second was when I graduated law school, third was when I took the BAR examinations and the fourth was when I checked on businesses and properties I had here mid-last year.
I have also cut contact with everyone I left behind. Only the school administration, my classmates in law school and a handful of friends knew I still had a thin connection with my life here. For years, knowing that I was away from the place that scarred and haunted me gave me a sense of comfort. However, now that I am back, I honestly feel better than I had anticipated. I do not feel sad or scared nor am I happy and excited...but I do not feel to familiar to it either. The best way to describe how I feel now is indifference.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, we have just landed at the Ninoy Aquino International Airport. On behalf of your flight crew headed by Captain Henares with First Officer Serrano and the rest of the team, we welcome you to Manila."
The announcement made it all feel a little bit more real. I looked out my window and sighed, this is really happening. "Having second thoughs? We could still back out." pabirong sabi ni Enzo sa tabi ko.
I chuckled and rolled my eyes, "I don't think so. Your cousin got his eyes on us." nguso ko kay Coen na nakasilip sa amin mula sa kanyang seat.
We originally did not intend on coming back this soon. All of our efforts for our careers here in the Philippines were just back-up plans. We're still not here to practice our profession but we couldn't really call this trip a vacation either. Coen, one of my best friends, is an international renowned artist. He's currently on tour and he has specifically requested for us to join him here as we all have not been home for a long while.
We will be staying here for three weeks. It's a little longer than what I hoped for but I guess it's just enough time to do what has to be done.
Nico, popularly known as Captain Henares headed our flight home. He's also one of our closest friends and he's also the one we always call to fly us places. Ever since I had become a lawyer, he had been extra protective of me and my family. He says he'd rather be tired of traveling that be tired of worrying about us kaya he makes sure that he leads all major flights we will be having.
"Are we going to wait for Nico?" tanong ni Enzo habang nagtatanggal siya ng seatbelt.
I shook my head, "No, let's just wait for him in the private lounge. He's with Captain Serrano and I don't really feel like meeting him just yet."
Captain Serrano is my ex-boyfriend's best friend. He was one of our mutual friends as a couple but ever since the break-up and me leaving, I did not bother keeping contact with any of them. Don't get me wrong, they're all good people, it's just that the pain everything had caused me was too much that I just wanted to forget everything. I have accepted that inevitably, our paths will cross again but I just don't think now is the right time.
"Doesn't he already know you're in this flight?" kunot-noong tanong ni Enzo.
When flying private, we are usually introduced to the team before departure. However, after finding out that Captain Serrano was Nico's first officer, I made sure that no introduction will be made. We boarded the plane after the pilots have entered the pit as per Nico's signal.
"No. Besides, even if he read the details of the flight, I carry a different family name now."
He smirked, "See? The advantages of being with me."
I rolled my eyes, "Thank you?"
Natawa ito at kinurot ang ilong ko, "You're welcome."
We were at the private lounge waiting for Nico. We were seated at four different solo couches that were facing each other. "Mama, can I please get a truffle?" turo ni Ridge sa dessert table habang nakakandong sa akin.
I nodded, "Just one, okay? We will still eat dinner later."
He excitedly nodded and smiled at me showing his dimples. I smiled at him and poked his dimples, "Go with Neo. You two can each get one." I said putting him down.
He walked closer to his brother who was sitting on Enzo's lap. "Neo, let's eat truffles!"
Neo wiggled out Enzo's arms and excitedly grabbed his brothers hand and made their way to the dessert table. Inalalayan naman sila ng kanilang mga nanny para maabot nila ito. I smiled at the sight of them.
"They're growing up so fast." bulong ni Enzo.
I nodded, "It feels just like yesterday. I can't believe they're turning five this year."
Enzo smiled as he looked at my boys, "You raised them well, V."
I watched as Neo chuckled at his brother as he pouted eating his last bite of his truffle. "You think?" I asked Enzo as I faced him.
"I'm sure."
"I would not have done it all without you guys." I said referring to him, Pierre, Coen and Nico. The four of them were really the ones who went out of their way to make sure I was well all throughout my pregnancy up until now.
Umiling si Enzo, "Give yourself some credit, V. You did that all because you worked hard. You did it all because you wanted to. All we did was assist you but that does not come close to what you gave up for all these."
Hindi na ako nakasagot pa sa kanya dahil patakbong lumapit sa akin sina Neo at Ridge. They each held a truffle in their hand and extended it to me. "A truffle for the most beautiful girl in the whole world." nakangising ani ni Neo sa akin.
"Thank you, my love." I kissed Neo's cheek and accepted the truffle from him. Bumaling ako kay Ridge, "What about you, baby? No dedication for Mama?" biro ko sa kanya na ikinapula ng pisingi niya.
"A truffle for the only girl I will ever love." aniya naman. I accepted the truffle from him and kissed his cheek too.
I set aside the truffles on the side table, grabbed them both and sat them on my lap. I embraced them tightly, "You are the best thing that has ever happened to Mama. I love you two very, very, much."
They both hugged me tightly too, "We love you very, very, very, much, Mama." sabay nilang sabi.
I was just about twenty years old when I had my kids. I was heartbroken and struggling with everything happening in my life but now that I look back at all that I have been through, although I would rather not relive that pain again, I will never trade my kids for anything else in the world.
I lost my love but I blessed with something greater. I lost my love for a love that I did not know existed-- a love that I needed at a time I did not know I did.
After Nico has arrived, we all left the airport to go to our estate. Years ago, I used a part of my inheritance to purchase a huge land which we eventually turned into our estate-- Enzo, Enzo's siblings, Pierre, Coen, my brothers and I had our houses built around one property. Two years ago, Nico has also joined us which is why it really isn't a problem for us to see each other. The entirety of the property is very vast and it's also very safe. It's perfect for our private homes.
"Vera, the kids, and I, will be residing in the villa for the duration of this trip." saad ni Enzo kina Coen habang nasa sasakyan kami.
Aside from having our individual houses in the estate, we also had a villa built. The intention of having a villa was for it to be used as a guest house or a party house. However, because of certain arrangements, it is where Enzo and I have decided to reside for the meantime.
"I have also had our dinner arranged there already." sabi ko naman.
"Thank God! I'm so hungry!" wika ni Pierre na ikinatawa namin.
Hinampas ni Elize ang braso nito, "You speak like you did not almost finish all the brownies on the plane."
Nagkibit-balikat lang si Pierre, "Not my fault they tasted good."
Naalis ang aking mga mata sa kanila nang maramdaman ko ang bahagyang paghila ni Neo sa mga daliri ko.
I brushed his hair away from his face, "Yes, love?"
"Mama, steak?" pabulong niyang tanong pero nadinig naman ni Enzo kaya nagkatinginan kami.
Natawa si Enzo at hinalikan ang tuktok ng ulo ni Neo, "Of course there will be streak for you, baby." bulong niya rito na ikinangiti ng bata.
Napailing ako, "May pinagmahan na talaga."
After having dinner, dinala ko ang mga bata sa kanilang kwarto to give them a bath and get them ready for bed.
"I want the blue pajamas, Mama." request ni Ridge.
"I want the red one, Mama." ani naman ni Neo.
I gave in and changed them into their pajamas of choice and tucked them in the bed before telling them the story of their favorite book again, "The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart." I quoted from 'The Little Prince'.
"Storytime is over, boys. Time to sleep now." sabi ko sabay halik sa kanilang mga noo.
"Are you going out, Mama?" tanong ni Ridge.
I nodded, "I will go out with Papa, Unlces and Aunties for a while. We'll be back before you know it, okay?"
They both nodded. "Work, Mama?" tanong naman ni Neo.
Umiling ako, "Mama will drink adult juice with her friends. Is that okay?"
They both smiled, "Have fun, Mama."
"I love you."
"We love you, Mama."
I smiled as I switched off the lights and exited their room. I am the luckiest girl in the world to be their Mama. I really am.
I made my way to Enzo and I's room. He was still rummaging through our luggage so I went straight to the bathroom to take a shower. By the time that I finished, I went in the closet where Enzo was fixing our things.
I attempted to sneak and tickle his sides but before I could even do so, he had already caught me by my wrists.
He faced me and smiled before pulling me closer. He pinched my nose, "What are you trying to do, shatz?"
I pouted, "I was supposed to surprise you."
He laughed, "I feel your presence from miles away." he joked.
I was about to question him but my eyes darted to the clothes hung behind him. "You chose our clothes already?" baling ko sa kanya.
He nodded, "Are you fine with wearing a dress or do you want me to pick something else?"
I chuckled when I realized that our clothes were matching, "I did not picture you to be the matchy-matchy type, Z."
He looked away and pretended to busy himself with the clothes he was still fixing from earlier, "It was a coincidence."
I laughed, "Yeah. It was." I pretended to believe him.
I walked to the dress he had picked out. It was a black, Halston Heritage, fit and flare, tiered cocktail dress. I put in on and paired it with my red, Christian Louboutin patent stilettos and a red clutch bag to match. I also put light make-up and a red lip on.
Enzo started getting ready as I was doing my make-up. He wore black trousers, a black button down, and white sneakers. He threw on the red Rolex watch I got him for Christmas last year.
He looked at me through the mirror after putting it on, "We match perfectly now." he winked at me before walking to the bed. I even heard him laughing which made me laugh too.
I shook my head, "Crazy."
After getting ready, we immediately left the estate and drove to one of the clubs we all owned. Ever since we were in high school, we have dreamt of opening our own club and despite having finished different programs in school and being in different fields of profession, we were able to successfully do so two years ago.
The club is called 'Genesis'. We decided on this name because its first branch was originally planned to be built here in the Philippines, where everything began for us. Philippines was our common ground and beginning, thus, the name of the club.
We initially did not expect Genesis to be as big as it has become. We really just wanted a club of our own and a stable profit for it. However, over the first few months of it opening, it has managed to exceed our expectations and it has now become the metro's most popular party point which we are genuinely proud of. It makes us happy that not only do we enjoy the place but it also brings people closer together and also bring them happiness as well.
"We're here." Enzo said as he parked the car in our reserved parking space behind the club.
"They're here too." I said pertaining to Coen who had just gotten out of the car beside us while taking off my seatbelt.
"Do you think it's a busy night?" he asked as he was fixing the cuff of his polo.
"Definitely." I chucked. "Let me help you." I offered and grabbed his wrist to fix his top.
"Thank you." he said after I had fixed it. "Stay there shatz. I'll open the door for you." he said and quickly got out the car.
"Thank you very much, sir." I jokingly said and bowed curtsied which made him laugh.
"Enough of that lovebirds!" Nico shouted laughing.
Napatingin kami ni Enzo sa gawi nila at bahagyang nagulat na hinihintay pala nila kaming lahat. They all stood there and did not even bother getting in the club ahead of us, we really wouldn't have minded.
When we entered the club, we were immediately met with the buzzing noise and music. "Who's the DJ tonight?" pasigaw kong tanong kina Coen as we were guided by our guards to the stairs leading to the second floor where the VIP area was.
"For the next hour it's Bruce. Later tonight it's going to be Acacia." sagot niya naman sa akin na tinanguan ko.
After getting settled in our table, we ordered drinks and started our night. "Does anyone know you guys are here already?" tanong ni Sienna sa amin.
"You're the one of the highest paid model, Sien. Don't you think I'm the one who should be asking you that?" I asked laughing and sipped on my drink.
Umiling siyang natatawa, "You're to speak, Racaza. You're the youngest highest paid lawyer in the world and a model-businesswoman on top of that to say the least."
"You flatter me too much, Sien."
"No but seriously, does anyone know? Are we or are we not allowed to post anything?"
Napangiwi si Coen, "I think it's too late to keep our homecoming private." he said and showed us his phone. It was different hashtags of our names and details about our arrival-- completely filling the first eight spots twitter's trending list.
"I knew that was going to happen as soon as you were photographed in the airport." pabirong sisi ni Pierre sa kapatid.
"Nah, it's definitely Erin's fault. She's Asia's top chef." pabirong turo naman nito sa katabi.
Erin scoffed, "Not me. I'm certain it's Enzo's fault. He was named as the hottest doctor in the world just a few months ago." natatawang sisi naman nito kay Enzo.
"Nah, it's Nico's fault." pasa naman ng sisi ni Enzo kay Nico.
"Why me!?" tanong ni Nico.
"We told you..you could have landed in the vast field behind the estate but you still chose to land in the airport." pigil tawang sagot ni Enzo sa kanya.
"Wow, thanks bro ha. 'Di man lang ako na puri." umiiling pero natatawang ani Nico na ikinatawa naming lahat.
We just enjoyed our time together. We passed each other one shot to another until six Cuervo bottles were now empty on the table.
"You good?" bulong ni Enzo sa tabi ko.
I pouted, "I'm dizzy."
He chuckled and put his arm around me pulling me closer. "Rest your head a bit first."
After a while, he brushed the loose hair off of my face and whispered, "Do you want to go out to breathe?"
I lifted my head, looked at him and nodded, "Yes please."
He grabbed my hand, "Vera and I will just go out for a bit." paalam niya sa mga kasama namin.
"No monkey business in our club please." biro ni Nico.
"Go lang! Galingan niyo mag sexy time!" lasing at natatawang ani naman ni Erin.
Before our other friends could even say anything, Enzo had already brought me outside which I was thankful first. We did not go far anymore, we just stood by the balcony railings outside our VIP room.
Enzo caged me in between his arms when a group of people passed by the area. "Thank you." I said.
"Shatz." Tawag sa akin ni Enzo para marinig ko siya dahil sadyang mas malakas ang music dito sa labas kumpara sa VIP room kanina.
Napalingon ako sa kanya at nakitang mayroon na itong hawak na bottled water na mayroong straw. "Drink this." he said.
Bahagya akong nagulat, "Where did you get this?" I asked as I accepted the bottle from him.
Nagkibit-balikat siya, "The waiter?" nakangising aniya.
Mahina kong sinuntok ang matigas niyang tiyan at umirap, "Whatever."
Matapos ang ilang minuto, lumabas sina Coen mula sa VIP room. "Let's play a song." he said.
"Now?" gulat kong tanong.
He nodded his head and pulled Enzo and I's hands dragging us downstairs while Pierre followed behind us laughing and shaking his head.
"We'll watch from here." sigaw naman ni Nico.
When we got down, dumiretso kami sa booth where the turn table and instruments are. It was good that the club was a dark and this are was only illuminated by strobe lights since we didn't want to catch more attention than necessary.
"Good evening, everyone." Coen's deep voice vibrated in the club catching everyone's attention.
When people realized we were going to play, they started cheering. Some even screamed song requests.
"What do you want us to play?" Pierre asked pointing to a girl not so far from where we were standing. "You two together?" he then also asked pertaining to the guy beside the girl.
Mabilis na umiling ang babae, "We're best friends." she said.
Nilingon kami ni Enzo ni Pierre and smirked, "They're best friends." he said. He looked back at the two, "I think I know two people just like you." he said smirking.
Nagkatinginan si Pierre at Coen, "I know what to play now." Coen said.
"Take it away, brother." natatawang ani Pierre.
They started playing 'Better' so I went with it. Coen was the first one who started singing with him and Pierre playing the guitar and drums.
I smiled while adjusting the beats along with Enzo. It felt good to see them play like this and also see other people enjoy our version of music. Enzo stared at me the entire time he and Coen sang the song.
"You say we're just friends but I swear when nobody's around.." I sang and smirked at him.
"Nothing feels better than this.." he sang back kaya natawa ako ng bahagya.
"You two I swear to God." umiiling na sabi ni Coen when he distanced himself from the mic for a bit.
When the song ended, Enzo kissed me on the forehead. "You look so good happy." he whispered.
I held his hand that was on my waist, "Happy looks good on you too."
"Enough of that lovebirds." kantyaw ni Coen sa amin.
We passed through the sides so we don't bump into the crowd a lot. We didn't want to be mobbed especially that Coen is with us.
When we were about to go up the stairs, I felt Enzo stiffen beside me. He still had his hands around my waist, guarding me from earlier. I looked up at him to see why he stilled. I saw his jaw clench and his eyes turn cold so I glanced at what he was looking at.
I locked eyes with my cousin, Saab, before I did with the man behind her. I did not feel anything which was surprising to me. I imagined this moment differently numerous times in the past but the only thing I felt for a split second was surprise- no loneliness, no anger, nothing.
He glanced at Enzo who was beside me before looking back at me. He stared at me straight in the eye with so many emotions flashing through his orbs.
In front of me stood the man I walked away from.
The man who left me for the girl he told me not to worry about.
The man who broke my trust.
The man who shattered my heart.
The man I used to love.
The father of my kids.
"We meet again." I nodded at them.