Hunter
When I finally open my eyes, my clock reads one in the afternoon. I've been in this bed for fifteen hours. I remember waking up around two in the morning and reaching for Jenna, only to be disappointed and heartbroken. I finally managed to fall back asleep, but it wasn't easy. I reach over and grab my phone, only to see that I have six missed calls and one long ass group text message. The guys have all called at least once and Patrick called multiple times. I forgot to call them when I landed because my mind was focused on finding Jenna. I get out of bed and head to the bathroom, taking a quick shower and brushing my teeth. I am on a mission today to find my girl.
I walk into the kitchen and put on a pot of coffee before I call the guys back. I don't have much of an update for them. I'm no closer to finding Jenna than I was in Aspen. I pour myself a cup of coffee, take a seat at the table and look at the group text message from my dumbass brothers.
Bryson: Dude, answer your phone.
Patrick: Yeah, where are you?
Justin: Leave him alone. He's probably brown chicken, brown cowing it?
Bryson: Your fascination with farm animals is disturbing. What in the hell is that supposed to mean?
Justin: Brown chicken, brown cow? It means bow chick a wow wow.
Patrick: That's very helpful, dumbass. (eyeroll emoji)
Justin: You all need to get out more. I'm saying that Hunter is probably batter-dipping the corndog. Attacking the pink fortress. Launching the meat missile.
Kevin: Please stop talking. It's embarrassing.
Justin: Whatever. I'm just saying that Hunter isn't answering because he's otherwise occupied. You guys should stop being jealous and take notes.
Patrick: You have a lot of room to talk. The only thing that is jealous is your left hand of your right.
Justin: <volcano exploding gif>
Kevin: Idiot.
Bryson: Ok, Hunt. Whenever you get done locking legs and swapping gravy, give us a call.
Justin: Yeah, come up for air...SOON! Don't make the poor girl sore.
Patrick: Hunter, call me first.
Kevin: You think you're special?
Patrick: #Huntersfavorite. <Shaq shimmying his shoulders gif>
Bryson: (middle finger emoji)
I shake my head and pull up Patrick's number. He answers on the second ring.
"What's up, man? I was wondering if you were still alive."
"Yeah, sorry," I apologize. "I totally forgot to call you guys when I landed."
"No worries. I just figured you found Jenna and stayed up all night trying to make babies or some shit like that."
He laughs, but I can't manage to do the same. I'd love nothing more than to be balls deep inside Jenna all day and night, but I have to find her first and I haven't the slightest clue how I am going to do that. My Google search hasn't been as cut and dry as I'd hoped.
"Man, I wish," I tell him. "I haven't found her yet and I still can't decipher those smeared numbers. I don't know what to do. I'm going crazy without her. You got any ideas?"
"How about I round up the rest of the detectives and we will head over to your place tonight? I figure after a couple beers, maybe one of us can come up with one good idea to find her."
I'm not really up for company unless it's the company of my beautiful girl, but I could definitely use their help. I agree and tell him to let the guys know to come over around six. He accepts and I hang up my phone. I head back to my bedroom and resume my search. I contemplate every spelling of her last name that I can think of, but my search is proving to be difficult. We have so much technology at our fingertips and I'm frustrated that I can't find one person. It's overwhelming at the amount of information displayed and I'm finding it impossible to narrow my search, even with filters. I used to have social media, but I closed my accounts for security reasons, reasons that I never told Jenna because I needed to keep her safe. I have never been that person that felt like they needed to share every second of their day with the rest of the world anyway. I don't have any family to stay in touch with and I didn't have too many friends in school. I spent all my time with the guys and we all still live within ten miles of each other.
~
The guys will be over in thirty minutes so I call the local pizza joint to place a delivery order. Hopefully if I feed them, they will stay focused. I get back to my search until I hear the door open. All the guys have the code to my garage so they have always just come on in. The only one missing is Bryson, but he will be here shortly. Kevin walks in with an overnight bag and two cases of beer so I am assuming he will be staying the night. I don't mind. It may distract me from the overwhelming loneliness I am feeling without Jenna here. I clear the stack of mail from my kitchen table and all the guys take a seat around it. We all pull out our laptops and it looks as if we are about the launch an attack on a foreign country. Bryson walks in and joins us around the same time the pizza arrives. We decide to eat and then get to work on Mission: Find Jenna.
When all the pizza is gone and we are a case of beer in, we open our laptops back up and get to work.
"Alright dude, we need some intel," Kevin inquires. "Where does she live?"
"Indiana," I tell him.
"Well, that's super helpful. At least we narrowed it down from the other fucking forty-nine states. Is there a particular city in Indiana that she may have mentioned?"
"No."
"Ok," he continues. "We know she is a nurse in the hospital. Do you know which hospital she works at?"
"No, I don't know that either."
"Jesus, man. Did you all ever talk or just fuck?"
All the guys laugh and I can't help but join in. It's true, a lot of the time we spent together was done with nonverbal communication.
"Screw you. We talked. I mean we fucked too, but we did talk. You have to remember that we were only there a week. I can't learn every single detail of her life in just a week. We were going to sort out all the details when I got back from the slopes and how we were going to see each other and all that. This wasn't like any relationship any of us have had before. I didn't expect to fall for this girl in such a short amount of time. All the other relationships I've had were girls I met at work or the gym or places like that. We went on dates around here and it was a slow progression. We weren't together every minute of the day and night. Plus, none of those girls were Jenna. She's different."
Bryson pipes up, "You're damn right she's different. She's the only girl I know that can put my ass in place after being a total dipshit and then turn out to be like a sister to me all in a couple days' time."
I laugh because that is totally my girl. She can lay you out when you disrespect her and then make you fall in love with her all at the same time. She is different and she is mine. That is if I could ever find her.
"Is there anything that she said that may indicate where in Indiana she lives, like a place she goes to often? Anything?" Justin asks.
I concentrate hard on the conversations we had. I hung onto every word because I wanted to know everything about her. However, my thoughts are clouded right now by the intense chemistry we shared. We had good conversations though. We talked about a lot of things, even stuff that I have never shared with anyone else. Maybe I don't know as much about her as I thought I did, but I still stand by the fact that I know her and she knows me. We had plans to discuss all the rest, but life happened. I rack my brain thinking of something she said that would get us closer to her location.
"She did tell me that there is a pumpkin patch not far from where she lives that she and her family go to every year. She also talked about a drive-in theater close to her that she wanted to take me to. I told her I had never been to a drive in before and that blew her mind."
"Well, that's something, I guess," replies Patrick. "That gives us a little to go on."
We scour the internet for pumpkin patches and drive-in theaters that are in close proximity to one another. I'm shocked at the number of pumpkin patches in one state alone. Hoosiers must really love their pumpkins. Thankfully, there are only twenty-one drive in theaters that I can find. It's still a lot, but it gets us closer than we were before. I know she traveled out of the Louisville, Kentucky airport and there are airports all over Indiana so she had to be from the south part of the state to choose Louisville. I know these are small victories, but I feel like we are making progress.
I grab a steno pad and start taking notes. After a few more beers, we may be able to find Jenna and maybe figure out where Jimmy Hoffa is.
I look up from my computer. "Hey, Kevin, you know we could always ask your girl Tracy to help us out. That crazy bitch had no problem tracking your ass down wherever you went."
All the guys laugh, but Kevin never even looks up from his computer. The only response I get from him is a middle finger and a "Fuck you." Although I didn't really want company over tonight, I am having a decent time with all my boys. I don't know a lot of guys that would spend their weekend helping a buddy find his long-lost love.
"Hey, you know what I was thinking about?" Justin asks.
"The fact that you haven't been laid in a year?" Bryson responds.
"You're a dick and that's irrelevant. I was thinking that Jenna's dad is in the hospital so maybe you could call the area hospitals, tell them that you are looking for a family member, but don't know which hospital he went to. They won't give you any medical information on him, but they could at least tell you if he's there or not. It's just a thought, but maybe it's something. Do you know his first name?"
"No, she never said his first name. She always referred to him as her dad. That's not a bad idea. I can just see if there are any patients with the last name James. It's worth a try."
I pull up a list of area hospitals on my laptop and start calling. I know it may be far-fetched, but it's worth a shot. I won't tell that I am a family member because it would sound pretty suspicious that I don't know the first name of one of my relatives, so I go with a concerned neighbor instead.
Yeah, that should work.
The first four hospitals were a bust. There is nobody with the last name James at their facilities. I'm just about to give up but decide to call one more. The operator picks up and asks how she can direct my call.
"Hi, I'm calling to see if my neighbor is at your hospital. His name is Mr. James. I'm sorry I don't know his first name. That is how I always address him...out of respect, of course."
"Of course, sir. Let me look through our system and see if I can locate him." I hear her typing, but I don't get my hopes up. This will probably end up being another dead end. "Sir, I have two patients with that last name. Do you know what he came in for?"
"Oh, yes ma'am. I was told that he was having chest pain and may have had a heart attack. I'm so worried about him. He's the best neighbor and I want to make sure somebody is taking care of his cat." I look across the table and the guys are rolling their eyes at the extra charm I am putting on. Hey, if it works, the little white lies will be worth it.
"Yes, it looks like I have a Mr. James on one of our telemetry floors. Would you like me to transfer your call to his room?" I start to panic. If it really is Jenna's dad, what do I even say to him?
Oh hello, Mr. James. I know you have only spoken to me for three minutes on Christmas Day, but I am engaged to your daughter and I was wondering if you could give me her phone number. Oh, and by the way, I'm sorry about your heart attack.
"Yes, ma'am. That would be great. Thank you so much for all your help."
"It's my pleasure. I hope your neighbor is ok. I will transfer you now."
I am put on hold and my stomach is in knots thinking about how I even start this conversation. The guys are staring at me and telling me to put it on speakerphone. I know they won't give in so I pull my phone from my ear and hit the speaker button. I hear the phone pick up and I consider hanging up. I am terrified and unprepared for this conversation, but I am already invested so there is no going back now. I hear a "hello" on the phone and I start stuttering with my words.
"Um, h-hi, M-Mr. James?"
"Yes, this is Mr. James. Who is this?"
"Oh, yes, I'm sorry. My name is Hunter Walters. I am, uh...sort of dating your daughter."
A silence follows and I'm starting to think he may have hung up. His daughter is his pride and joy and he is undoubtedly convinced I broke her heart because I haven't called. I know I need to explain myself, but right now, I'm not sure if he is even on the other end of the line anymore.
"Mr. James?"
"Yes, I am still here. I'm confused. I didn't know my daughter had a boyfriend."
Now I am the confused one. I just talked to him a couple days ago. He knew that Jenna and I were involved. My heart sinks when I consider the possibility that maybe she told him we are no longer together because I gave up on her and didn't call. I need to explain myself.
"I'm sorry, sir. We are still together. I am her boyfriend. It's just that her phone number was smeared at the bottom of the letter so I couldn't call. I've been trying to reach her and this is the only way I knew how to. I'm so sorry to hear about your heart attack. I know Jenna must be so tore up about it. I should be there to comfort her. But I promise you that I will spend the rest of my life making up for it. I just need to reach her so I was hoping you could give me her phone number. I know that we just talked for the first time on Christmas Day, but Jenna and I were going to come home and drive to see you so I could finally meet the man who raised such an incredible woman. I love her so much."
I am out of breath after I deliver my confession to this man. I know it was a heavy conversation to have over the phone while he is in the hospital, but I must find his daughter. My heart is breaking without her. I am impatiently waiting for his answer when he finally starts to speak.
"I'm sorry, son, but I think you have the wrong Mr. James. I didn't have a heart attack. I am in here because my defibrillator kept firing. That son of a bitch shocked me four times. My daughter's name isn't Jenna. It's Carol and she has been married for twenty-eight years and has three children. I sure hope you find you find who you are looking for, but unfortunately, it's not me."
I couldn't feel any more humiliated than I do right now. I just poured my heart out to a man with an adult daughter and three grandchildren. This couldn't have gone any worse. I look across the table and the guys are wide-eyed and about to burst into laughter at any time. Not a word, I mouth to the guys. I tell the man that I am sorry for the misunderstanding and hang up before I can embarrass myself any further.
The guys don't even wait for me to completely end the call before they start the jokes. I cannot believe I just did that. There will be no more calls made to the rest of the hospitals. That was enough humiliation to last a lifetime. I can't even be mad at the guys for their relentless jokes. The whole situation was ridiculous and I feel like a first-class idiot. I slam my laptop shut in frustration.
"That's enough detective work for the rest of the night," I say, somber and utterly embarrassed.
"Are you sure? That call was...magical," Bryson counters, eyes watering and chest shaking with laughter. "You really hit the jackpot there."
I roll my eyes and walk into the kitchen to retrieve the half bottle of whiskey I save for delightful occasions such as this. I am rummaging around in one of the cabinets while the guys banter back and forth about who knows what. Their taunts are annoying, but it beats sitting here by myself. The guys take my suggestion to stop the search for tonight and turn on the football game.
"Make me a drink and get the shots ready, you cocksucker," Bryson yells at Justin, who is wondering around my kitchen in search of anything that will get us messed up tonight. I like their thinking. Getting drunk is the only thing that will drown out my humiliation and misery.
"Jesus, why does our quarterback suck so bad?" Kevin screams, pulling at his hair and pacing in circles. He is way more invested than he needs to be in this game. "I swear to God, it looks like he is having a seizure every time he throws the ball. He's really fucking up my fantasy football."
"Don't blame him for your terrible picks," Patrick counters. "The poor guy is lobbing balls on and off the field. I think he's got thirty-seven kids. Hunt, you and Jenna gonna have kids?"
"After this week, he may have quintuplets already in the oven," Kevin jokes.
Not gonna lie, that wouldn't hurt my feelings. Well, assuming I can find her in time for the birth of the babies. Picturing a barefoot and pregnant Jenna is giving me a half-chub if I'm being honest.
"Interception!" Justin yells, right before Kevin runs across the room, jumps in the air and lands face down on my couch in frustration.
"He's killing me!" Kevin groans. "I swear to God, he is officially killing me. On the death certificate, my cause of death will read 'heart attack: courtesy of his inability to throw a fucking pass to the right team. Put the goddamn water boy in. Literally anyone except that no talent ass clown."
"Agreed. I could pass the ball better and they'd only have to pay me half of what they pay that dude," Bryson pipes in.
"I would come watch you play," Kevin says.
"Dude, after your behavior tonight, if you came to one of my games, I would tell your ass to stay in the car."
"Run it up the gut, for fuck's sake," Justin screams, ignoring Kevin. "Wait...wait.... Jack! Fucking Jack! Thank God for the Incredible Jack."
Apparently good ol' Jack ran in the touchdown and my living room has been transformed into an NFL stadium, chants and screams and belly slaps to boot.
Never a dull moment with these idiots.