LEERA
"Leeraaa," The word didn't really reach my brain even if it enters my ear. The noices keep on boring my ears but none made any sense to me.
I feel a tap on my shoulder, "Leera-!" Aria shouts my name this time so loud that my ear drum almost tears up due to the sudden pitch in her voice. I break apart from my thoughts and stare at her perplexed, "Huh?"
"Are you even in this world? Where are you lost?"
"Ahh Leera! Were you even listening to what I was saying before!? What are you thinking so deep!?" She asked, sounded irritated
"Nothing, Aria" I said with a calm posture
"So, what was I talking about?" She asked again. But I really didn't know what she was talking about as I was deep down in my own thoughts
"Leera!! For some minutes pay attention to me. I was literally blabbering things for a while and you didn't even listen what I was saying" she said in an annoyed tone
"Sorry Aria, mind to tell me again?" I asked softly. Nowadays I'm literally lost in my own thoughts. I wanted to be all by myself. Away from everyone and everything
"So, what I was saying is as tomorrow is our college trip to Malta. You know we have a function in the evening there. And moreover what we are going to wear and what we are going to do-" she kept telling me about her plans for the trip
I had no urge to go. But I can't avoid that, I have to go and I knew Aria will somehow take me anyway. If I don't go everyone will suspect because I personally loved travelling from the beginning and everybody close to me knew it very well. So that's why I'm basically going but Levi is also not here and won't be able to go to the trip I guess. That's another reason why I don't want to go. And moreover my mental health isn't supporting me either
And the next moment what she said made me light hearted and made my hesitation go away. Some part of me now wanted to go for the trip. I can't even say how much delighted I felt when I heard her saying, "Levi said, he will attend the college trip. He will come directly from his home I guess. So maybe he won't be able to join us for the road journey but yeah he assured he will certainly come! He said he has some work, so he would be a lil late maybe. Perhaps join us in the evening function"
I can feel at ease now finally. I felt really good knowing he will be there to handle me, he will help me to get rid of those mental pressures. A small smile creeped over my face after a long time, it's been weeks I saw him last time anyway. He is literally the one who can cheer me up any moment and bring innumerable smiles in my dull face. I really needed him to comfort me.
*****
I was packing my bags for the trip as my mom called me and I went to her
"Leera, honey! So how many days are you staying there for the trip?" She asked
"Mom I guess 2-3 days." I said. For the last few days I have been so absent minded that I didn't even pay attention exactly how many days we are staying there but it won't be more than 3 days I guess
"Okayy daughter, have fun!" She said with excitement as she is the one going for the trip. Her small expressions like this makes me happy. "Why do you look pale??" She asked, this time in a low tone starring at me
"Yeah mum, it would be really fun" I uttered with a forced smile on my face. I don't want her to think I'm unhappy or something like that. "Ahh and you know.... me and Aria went to shopping today after college.. and then my shift at the library... it was a busy day today. I guess I'm tired" I said in a relaxed tone not wanting to make her worry
"Ooh... get some sleep now it's already 12 AM, and you need to wake up early, so take some rest" she said
"Okay..." I said and was about to leave but I stopped when I heard her saying something again
"And yeah I actually called you here to tell you that. Maybe we will be leaving after you comeback from your trip, dear. You know, how busy your father is and he can't even take care of himself these days. Moreover the leave I took from my work will be over soon.. and your sister Elle already missed many days at school and she needs to attend the upcoming days. So honey, we have to leave. Although I want to stay here for some weeks more but I can't" she sounded sad at the thought of leaving me alone here again
"Mum,, don't worry! I'll be alright. And my flatmate Mayra is also here. You already know how much of a nice girl she is by staying with us. No need to be anxious about me. I'll miss you mum" I said and hugged her.
I didn't want to let her go. I didn't want to stay alone. I wanted to put my head on her lap and forget about everything, cry infront of her telling her everything and feel at ease. I want to let my emotions out but I couldn't. I don't want to make her worry for me, when I myself knew how much is she busy and exhausted with her own job and she also needs to handle our family and take care of us.
My mom is a service holder and my dad did business. They were always busy most of the time. My dad have to visit overseas and different countries for business purposes. But everytime he got free time and chances, he gave me all of it. Never let me spent my own birthday alone since my childhood. Even if he was far from home he would just leave every work undone and come to me. To spent the precious day with his princess. Where as my mom was busy with her work and my little sister Elle. But my mom and dad loved me a lot and could do anything for me. From my childhood as dad was the one always with me and gave me his every bit of time he could, I was close to him more than anything else.
But now, I'm here away from my family. I don't like being alone, I never did. Now my dad is even more busy and our talks and everything lessened than before. But still he is the same, the most caring, most loving person in the world for me. Even tho now I have to celebrate my birthdays without him.. and my family... Everytime I say to myself, 'I'll surely spend my next birthday with my family, with my dad!'
I didn't even notice when tears fell from my eyes as I was still hugging my mom. But I wiped them before my mom could see
"I'll miss you mom" I said again breaking the hug
"Honey! Winter vacation is on the way. Look, some more weeks and then you will be with us. Come home as fast as the winter vacation starts" my mom said
"Yeah mum! Now I'm going to sleep. Goodnight" saying that I left from there
After doing everything I needed to do before sleeping, I laid in my bed.
I felt bad that my mom will be going back, as well as Elle after I comeback. I will be alone again. Still I assured myself 'I will go to my home after some weeks anyway.. I'll meet my dad! I'll spend days with my family' - thinking that I relaxed a bit
I hope tomorrow would be nice. Finally I'll meet Levi after so many days and he will be there if anything happens. He will be there to comfort me and support me
Still I was having a weird sensation like something might happen in that trip. Something bad, something I don't want to face, something I always wanted to keep myself away from facing
I kept all those feelings and horrible thoughts aside.
"Why do I always have to think negative? Everything will be alright. I hope the trip will make my anxiety, hesitation and sadness go away. And ofcourse Aria and Levi will be there. Levi will cheer me up... I won't feel down anymore" I murmured to myself in a sleepy low voice and hoped for something positive as I thought about what my dad once said - "if you hope and think positive, everything positive and good will come to you by it's own."
Then I drifted to sleep taking small easy breaths
But little did I know, my dad's words won't work this time -
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Not edited :\
[So ignore grammatical errors and mistakes]
2 updates in 1 day!!? Yes cause I don't like to make you guys wait :(
Oml the people supporting me and helping me to write are the sweetest ones. Thanks a lot for your support and encouragement. Please comment, vote and share as it will help and encourage me to write more <33
So, what's gonna happen next? Do you think the trip will bring happiness or positivity in her life, make her light hearted.....?
or will it be the actual start of her miseries, sufferings and affliction??
Look forward for more and better updates :)
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