He was both everything I could ever want...
And nothing I could ever have...
~ranata suzuki
A/N
I hate Nilambari's aesthetic card, it looks tacky. And honestly, I'm not sure she even appears in the book anymore after that one chapter but oh well
I hope you all enjoy the chapter!
Chapter 9.1
Ryder's POV
Sleeping on the floor is one of the most uncomfortable things in the entire world. At this point I've resorted to staring at the ceiling until eventually my body is forced to fall asleep.
Beatrice clearly hadn't been planning on sleeping much either—probably because of the excessive amount of caffeine in her system—and stayed up until four before she fell asleep accidentally, with her book lying on her face. I had attempted to move it away but that girl keeps her books under lock and key. I hadn't even touched it before her hand was flying out to smack me, all while still asleep might I add. Or at least I think she was asleep but I wouldn't be surprised if she'd planned it. That girl definitely seems to have a thing about hitting me.
I turned for the hundredth time tonight, readjusting my pillow. My alarm clock flashed 4:13 repeatedly as if yelling at me that it was time to go to sleep.
I glanced over to Beatrice, the only part of her peeking out of the blanket being her nose. I couldn't imagine how she was not burning up right now. I'm burning up enough as is and there isn't a blanket anywhere near me. I shifted in my spot again, finally finding a semi comfortable spot.
Beatrice stretched, her head popping out of the blanket, her eyes creased in pain as she proceeded to roll into a ball, burying her face in the pillow. She let out a soft whimper, her hands clenching the blanket.
I sat up in my spot as I watched her. She hadn't moved around this much the entire night, not even when she was awake.
Her entire body went still, a tear sliding down her cheek as she took harsh, raspy breaths.
"Beatrice?" I whispered.
She didn't answer, going completely silent.
"Beatrice?" I tried again, my voice softer than usual.
No answer.
She bolted up from her spot, panting as tears streamed down her face, before burying her head in the blanket.
"Beatrice?" My voice barely came out but yet still echoed across the silent room.
She stiffened, wiping her face quickly before turning to me. She attempted to stretch on a smile, failing miserably. "I thought you were asleep."
I shook my head, not entirely sure of what to say. I had never been good at comforting people. I had never been good with people in general. "Are you okay?"
Her lips quivered. "Yeah." She could barely get the word out before choking on her own tears. She covered her face with her hands. "I'm so sorry."
I was up from my spot on the floor in a second, kneeling beside the bed. "Hey," I murmured, "it's okay."
She laughed slightly, the sound almost hollow. "This is so embarrassing."
"No, it's not." I gently peeled her hands away from her face. She hesitantly let me but it only made her start to cry more.
She groaned loudly, as if annoyed with her body's reaction, immediately trying to cover her face back up with whatever was around her, dropping her head in shame. I sighed, crawling up onto the bed beside her. I pulled her to my chest, finding it a much easier way to comfort her than trying to figure what in the world to say that could make her feel any better.
She gripped onto my shirt, burying her face into my chest so I couldn't see her cry. "I'm sorry," she apologized again.
I rested my chin on the top of her head, running my fingers through the ends of her hair. "It's okay."
She wrapped her arms around my torso, her nails digging into my back as she trembled.
I'd had plenty of girls leave claw marks in my back but never like this. Never like this.
Her hair smelled like honey, citrus and honey.
"You know if your brother finds out about this he's going to castrate me, right?" I joked in an attempt to make her smile.
She laughed, lifting her head up ever so slightly. "Don't worry, I won't tell him, you're safe," she paused, "unless you make me mad of course."
My eyes widened. "Remind me never to get on your bad side."
My smile relaxed as I brushed away her tears with my thumb.
"Thank you," she whispered.
"Anytime." I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. I'd never noticed she had blue eyes before, the deep blue, the kind of blue you'd find in the middle of the ocean under a full moon.
I reluctantly released her, suddenly a lot colder without her body pressed to mine. "We should get you to bed, I don't think your body could handle three more energy drinks to keep up with the lack of sleep."
She grinned. "You underestimate the things my body can handle, pretty boy."
"I'd say six Red Bulls in a span of forty eight hours is more caffeine than one should consume." I tossed my pillows on the bed beside her while she gathered her blanket and scooted over.
I set the pillow beside Beatrice, who had already secured herself in her blanket. How in the world is she not dying in there? Especially considering she was wearing a long sleeve shirt and leggings. I would have melted by now if I were her.
She didn't question it as I laid down beside her and got comfortable, the two of us on opposite sides of the bed.
There was a long moment of silence before either of us spoke. "If this is your diabolical plan to make me fall in love with you pretty boy, it's not going to work," she informed me.
I didn't move. "Then why are you letting me do it?"
She stilled before rolling up beside me, not quite touching me but close enough that I could feel the heat radiating off of her. "Because, you're warm."
My breath hitched in my throat, the pounding of my heart suddenly becoming very prominent. She's really close to me.
I paused, not saying a word before I shifted closer to her so that my arm just barely brushed against hers. "Yeah, so are you." I spoke breathlessly.
I didn't dare move a muscle because at that moment, I felt like I was about to have a heart attack. Either my heart was beating a hundred times a second or it wasn't beating at all, I couldn't tell but I knew something was wrong with it. The feeling was nauseating, absolutely putrid, and for a second I wondered if I'd been the one to drink three energy drinks, as I imagine this is what that would feel like. I must have, that or I was absolutely losing my mind.
The last time I felt like this, Mateo had given me the flu and I couldn't get out of bed for a week.
Beatrice kicked her feet out—thankfully interrupting my thoughts, I think if she hadn't, they would have spiraled out of control—tossing the blanket out.
I stilled at the sudden action before bursting out laughing. "Did you just throw the blanket over my feet?"
She didn't even hesitate. "Yes."
"The monsters are not going to steal my toes!"
"Yes they will!" She spoke with such certainty.
"You're the psychopath here."
I could hear the pride in her voice. "You'll thank me in the morning when your toes are still attached to your body."
A/N
Hi lovies!
What do we think so far? I'm not getting as many comments as usual so are we still enjoying it?
Idk part of me feels like I'm not writing as well as I used to and it's stressing me out. I really hope you guys are liking it.
Let me know what you think and don't be afraid to share your thoughts.
Lots of love,
Rachelle <3