Chapter 16 - Part II
The next morning was a mixture of stress and relief. I was anxious to get away from the castle, not a sentiment I ever expected to feel, but while my mother continued to stubbornly reside there, it had begun to feel as though the walls were closing in around me, edging me back into the gilded cage I'd been born into.
The stress came from the surmounting apprehension I felt about seeing Prince Alexander. His unexpected appearance at my door the other night and rapid departure all happened too quickly to process, and I didn't get my bearings until long after he'd left.
Now that I'd recollected my wits I dreaded facing him. With the door gaping wide open since my mother's appearance there was no way of telling how much he'd overheard, and therefore no way to predict what his reaction would be upon seeing me.
His apparent lack of anger at least reassured me that he hadn't heard my mother's misplaced plans for obtaining the crown, but I still cringed at the thought that he heard her last words to me.
I hated that he'd caught me in a moment of weakness; that he'd been the one to see me break. It was a cruel twist of fate that brought him upon me at that moment and I couldn't begin to fathom how he would hold it over me.
I could only hope it wasn't pity. An ugly part of me knew I didn't deserve pity or concern, that same part of me told me I deserved every word my mother had lashed at me with her verbal whip. After all, I'd blindly accepted her hatred towards the Queen, and followed her directive to deceive an entire castle of my less then honorable intentions towards her son.
My only hope was that it wasn't too late to change the course of my future here, and that depended solely on how much the Prince had overheard.
With my stomach twisted in knots, I gathered my pack of meager belongings and braced myself for whatever judgment awaited me. I stopped with a pang in front of the door as my eyes lit upon the spot where I'd gathered the shattered remains of my bow last night.
Not wanting Ella to happen upon the scene—I'd already had one witness too many to my humiliation—I had carefully gathered every splintered fragment of wood and folded them neatly into the length of linen casing that once held the bow.
I hadn't the heart to throw it away, instead placing it gently inside my truck, laid out on top of my expensive gowns, a reminder of everything I had been and what I could become, but not while I remained confined in my mother's shadow.
Biting my lip to hold back the sudden and unexpected wave of emotion that crashed over me, I slipped silently out of the door, cautious not to wake my sleeping roommate. It was early yet, and there would be time enough for farewells before our departure, but for now, I needed no other company but my own.
As I ghosted through the empty halls, I knew a piece of me would remain behind in this place that had in so short a time become my home. Passing the Queen's chambers, I thought again with guilt of the beautiful gift that had been destroyed for no better reason than spite and jealousy.
And to think, those every intentions, that same single-minded purpose and lack of remorse, had been my mother's only use for me; that I would the instrument to destroy the delicate beauty that dared stand in the face of her ambition.
Was it selfish of me to leave the castle to the mercy of my mother's machinations? I could only hope that my departure would force her own.
I stopped by the kitchens on my way out to talk the cooks into giving me a few rolls, not wanting to face the crowds that would soon fill the mess hall, and hoping I would avoid a final encounter with my mother by the same token.
Pushing out of the castle doors, I took a deep breath of the pre dawn air, heavy with the scent of spiced cider and freshly baking bread that drifted up from the village as shop keepers prepared for the morning ahead.
I stood watch as the first rays of sunlight spilled over the horizon, flooding the grounds with its rosy hue as it crept up on the sleeping townsfolk, stirring them into wakefulness.
Before my eyes the quiet peace of the night transformed to a humming buzz of activity as the castle and village came to life around me, of doors slamming and children crying, and chatter bouncing across the streets.
In minutes the soft glow of dawn had swept over the land, chasing shadows and raising a light mist as the heat of the sun warmed the earth.
And finally, as the soft murmurs of sleepy conversation turned to the loud roar of a hundred voices starting their day, I moved.
Stepping into the stables, I nearly ran into Sir Mason, his arms laden with supplies for the trip. Despite his obvious preoccupation, he stopped to smile warmly at me.
"Ah, Talia, you're already here, excellent, I was just about to send for you."
Laying his burden on the ground he clapped the dust from his hands and gestured for me to walk with him. "If you'll come with me there's someone I'd like you to meet."
Following Sir Mason to the back of the stable, I noticed a row of horses lined up, feeding contentedly as groomsmen hustled about saddling them up and filling their packs with supplies.
Leading me to the back of the line, he stopped in front of a lovely ebony mare.
"I'd like you to meet Nightshade," He said cheerfully, running his hand down her sleek neck.
"She's beautiful," I said in response, offering my hand out palm up for her to nuzzle.
Though I didn't know as much of horses as some, I knew enough to recognize that she would be steady and fast.
"A more sweet tempered girl I've never met," He said fondly before turning to me with a smile, "And she's all yours."
"What?" I asked in surprise; the past few days had inspired a startling lack of eloquence in me.
"For the time being of course. The castle always loans our mounts to those students who arrive without their own, or without the means to purchase one. The privilege is generally reserved for second year students, though under the circumstances an exception has been made."
"Thank you, I hardly know what to say," I murmured.
He waved the thanks off, making me smile as I noticed how similar he and the Queen were in mannerisms.
"No need to thank me Talia, you have as much right to these mounts as any of the students, though if you must thank someone, it was Prince Nicholas who picked her out for you."
"Of course he would," I murmured softly, overwhelmed with gratitude. It didn't surprise me in the least that Nicholas would know and take care of exactly what I required before I even knew it myself.
How was it possible that these people whom I'd known for so short a time had become more my family then my own mother? I knew they were not so ignorant of my mother's character as I liked to believe, and yet they embraced my presence here without hesitation or suspicion.
Treatment I hardly deserved.
Lost in my thoughts as I was, I didn't notice Sir Mason wander away, no doubt to see to the rest of the preparations for the trip, and I was grateful for the moment alone.
My mother's continued presence at the castle had been a continuous reminder of how little I deserved the friendship of Prince Nicholas.
The prickly thorn of guilt that bled with every word my mother spoke in persuasion of using him to get the crown had made me avoid him so much so that I'd caught no more then a glimpse of his face before hiding in shame for the last two days. And even so, despite my cowardly behavior, he'd gone and picked out a stunning mare to accompany me on the tour.
I only hoped that removing myself from the castle and outside the reach of my mother's influence was a step towards being deserving of every kindly spoken word and thoughtful gesture I'd received from him since arriving here, with nothing but deceitful intentions.
My thoughts were abruptly cut off as someone let out a familiar squeal behind me, and I turned to see Clara, her hands clapped together in excitement, standing behind me.
"It's really happening!" She exclaimed gleefully, practically dancing where she stood.
I only let out a heavy sigh in response, a mixture of relief at what I was leaving behind, and trepidation for what was to come.
Clara punched me none too lightly in the arm. "Don't look so tortured Tally, we're going on an adventure, not to attend a funeral, how many times must I make the distinction?" She teased.
My lips pulled up into a reluctant smile at her exuberance. Adventure it might be, but my mind still whirled and spun in turmoil, and I longed for a taste of the mundane. Training in the mornings, laughing with Nicholas, the comforting headaches of dealing with the palace boy's animosity or even, dare I think it, arguing with Prince Alexander; all things that had become a normal part of my existence here.
"I am excited," I said finally, "I just..."
I was saved from explaining by the arrival of Ella, and silently thanked her for her impeccable timing.
Without a word, Ella threw her arms around the two of us, hugging us fiercely, and all at once the trip seemed real. She pulled back with her eyes wet with tears, and it occurred to me that this was the first time in my life someone would miss me.
And if the tight feeling in my chest was any indication, I reciprocated the sentiment, another first.
Never one for lingering on emotion, Clara broke the silence with a snort. "Look at us, standing around sniffling as if we'll never see each other again, before we know it a year will have passed and we'll be back together again," She said with forced cheer.
"With Alina and Prince Alexander flanking either side of you, I suspect I'll see you returned before the month is out," Ella teased, breaking the tension between us as Clara and I laughed in agreement.
"In all seriousness though, how long do you imagine it will take before Tally attempts to strangle the Prince?" Ella asked innocently.
I rolled my eyes as Clara hooted with laughter, but couldn't help a faint smile as they began wagering on what bodily harm I would inflict on the Prince and how soon it would occur.
My eyes drifted around the stable and my smile faltered as I saw Prince Alexander and Nicholas enter together. As if feeling my gaze, Prince Alexander looked up, and I felt my breath catch on a sharp inhale, waiting for his reaction.
It seemed a millennia passed before he arched an eyebrow, smirking slightly as I continued to stare, and the breath I'd been holding whooshed out of me in dizzying relief.
I hadn't realized until this very moment how worried I'd been that he would suddenly begin to treat me differently, with pity, or worse, with kindness. I may have wanted to be respected, but if that time ever came I needed it to be because I earned it, not because of a weakness I'd never intended to share.
I took his usual arrogance to mean that whatever he'd seen or heard last night would go unmentioned between us, and for that I was grateful beyond expression.
His widening smirk made me realize I was still staring, and had been doing so for far longer then his ego deserved. I finally gathered the presence of mind to scowl at his conceit, causing him to chuckle at my delayed response before he wandered off to tend to his horse.
It was then that I timidly moved my gaze to take in his brother, my heart heavy with no small amount of self-reproach over the way I'd treated him the past few days.
Prince Nicholas stood uncertainly in the doorway, neither in or out, his hands buried in his pockets as his gaze flickered up and back to the floor, mindlessly toeing the ground as if he couldn't decide whether to leave or stay. I couldn't remember the last time I'd seen him so unsure of himself, and it stung even more knowing I had a part in it.
Steeling myself, I made my way over to him, feeling the weight of guilt and shame drape heavily over me with each step until it nearly suffocated me with its intensity.
Looking up at my approach he smiled hesitantly before dropping his gaze back to the hay-covered ground.
"I wasn't sure if you'd want to see me," He said softly.
"Of course I do," I said quickly, feeling like the worst kind of person to cause an expression like that on a man like him.
"Alex called me all kinds of idiot when I mentioned you may not want me to come, and when my brother starts acting as the voice of reason..."
I tried not to think to deeply on the fact that Prince Alexander had been the one to urge Nicholas to come.
"Nicholas—"
"But I couldn't help thinking you were mad at me," He interrupted, "Are you?"
"No, of course not," I said swallowing hard, feeling myself cringe with self-loathing.
"Then why have you been avoiding me?" He whispered, finally meeting my eyes, and I felt absolutely sick with myself for causing the obvious hurt in them.
"Nicholas..." I tried again with a thick voice, feeling like the worst person alive, "I'm so sorry, it's nothing you did." It's what I almost did.
"Things have just been... difficult with my mother in town," I continued, reaching out to place a hand on his arm. "Trust me, when I'm mad at someone I tend to make a rather large spectacle of it," I said jokingly, trying to lighten the mood as I raised my eyebrow in the direction where Prince Alexander stood.
The comment drew a quiet snort of amusement from Nicholas, and I felt his posture begin to relax.
"I'm the one who should be sorry then, I should have realized—"
"Don't you dare apologize to me Nico, by all rights you should be furious with me for being such a wretched friend, in fact, I'd feel better if you did."
"Very well then, you're horrible," He stated with a grin, yet even with the obvious amusement and teasing in his tone, a vicious part of me knew that it was true and exactly what I deserved.
"I know," I whispered, not quite managing to sound as lighthearted about the joke as I wished.
"I'll still miss you though," He said sincerely, and I felt myself being pulled into a hug.
"I'll miss you too," I said roughly, selfishly holding onto the embrace when he made to pull away. He chucked and held me tighter for a moment before we both let go.
"Oh Nicholas, whatever will you do without us?" Clara said, coming up beside us with Ella in tow and throwing an arm around my shoulder.
"I'm sure I don't know," He said with an amused smile.
"Do try not to whither away with loneliness wont you? I've grown rather fond of you in the last few weeks," She said with an indulgent smile.
His expression turned to one of contrived shock, "Only in the last few weeks? And what of the countless years we spent growing up together?"
"A necessary tolerance," She stated with a wave of her hand.
"No matter, Ella will keep me from getting lonely, won't you?" He asked her with a grin, throwing his arm around her shoulder to mimic our stance across from them.
"I suppose I might be persuaded, but you'll have to work for it," She replied back teasingly. I didn't miss the shyness in her voice or the faint blush that covered her cheeks and wondered if the Prince noticed as well.
"The pleasure of my company isn't enough for you?" He asked with mock offence. With a heavy sigh he shook his head, "I'll just have to think of some way to convince you then," He said in response, and it may have been nothing more then my imagination, but I could swear there was a hint of suggestion in his words.
Finally, as the time approached of our departure, Nicholas wandered off with the excuse of finding his brother, though I suspected it had more to do with giving us a moment alone to say our farewells.
Saying goodbye was hard, harder then I could have ever imagined, and a year suddenly seemed like an impossibly long time to be apart.
None of us could articulate the words to make it final, and in the end, Ella merely pushed a jar of healing balm into each of our hands and urged us to be safe before hurrying out of the stable.
Looking for distraction, we offered our help to Sir Mason and were tasked with double checking that all our supplies were present and distributing the load between all of our mounts. As we worked the other members of our party slowly trickled in.
Alina arrived looking surprisingly cheerful and even went to far as to nod her acknowledgment of us as she walked by. Clara and I exchanged a confused glance in response but shrugged it off in the next moment. We weren't about to question her sudden change in attitude if it meant for more pleasant travelling conditions.
Owen arrived looking bleary and tired, giving Prince Alexander a half-hearted wave before proceeding directly to the water pump and pouring an icy stream of water over his head, accompanied with a yelp.
Well, that was certainly one way to wake up.
Tristan was the last to arrive stalking past us looking surly as always, and I didn't miss the way his eyes narrowed in annoyance as they fell upon Alina.
For her part she hummed loudly as she brushed her dapple-grey mare, and I wondered if the uncharacteristic cheer she displayed was for his benefit.
I looked around at the motley crew that was to be my only company for the next several months and grimaced; it wasn't a pretty sight.
***
Within the hour we were ready to depart, and one by one everyone mounted up and led their horses from the stable. With one last look around me, I turned to face my own mount, and looked up at the horse in confusion, specifically at the saddle that perched on top of it.
In all the stress of the last few days I hadn't thought very much about the finer details of the trip, specifically our mode of transportation. I supposed it should have been obvious earlier then just this morning that we would be travelling by horse, and it's not as though I'd never ridden one, but it had only ever been sidesaddle.
It wasn't unheard of, or even uncommon for a woman to ride astride, especially on the farms where all hands were needed, but it was not a pursuit for which the daughter of Lady Petunia had been allowed to partake.
As usual I was to be woefully unprepared.
"You don't know how to get on do you?" Said an amused voice from behind me.
I whirled around to see Owen standing at my shoulder, a grin stretched across his boyish face.
I narrowed my eyes, refusing to admit to anything and waiting for the inevitable mocking comment to follow, but it never came.
"Lady Talia, we never did get a formal introduction did we? Owen of Sparrow's Hill at your service," He said grandly, sweeping into an extravagant bow.
I rolled my eyes as he straightened, and he responded with a laugh at my deadpan expression.
"In all seriousness though, I hope our getting off on the wrong foot won't keep you from giving me a chance to be friends. Anyone who can shot an arrow at me without batting an eyelash has my respect," he said with a grin.
And with that he turned around, deliberately angling his horse across from me and slipping his foot into the stirrup. With a glance back at me he pushed off the ground with his other foot, swinging his leg up and over the animal.
Obviously the slow demonstration had been for my benefit.
With a deep breath and a prayer, I looked dubiously at my own mount before mirroring his actions, surprised when I found myself sitting atop the horse.
Looking back over at Owen, I saw him wink in approval before he pressed his thighs against the horse, nudging the animal forward.
Grabbing hold of the reins I tentatively did the same, starting slightly as the horse moved under me before smiling in relief, this wasn't so bad. Tugging the reins to the left I angled my mare to trail after the others—direction at least was something I knew how to control.
We started off slowly, basking in the warm morning air, and with every step away from the castle and my mother I felt lighter. We veered off the main path after passing through town, moving towards the edge of the forest that served as a natural barrier between Highborn and the Kingdom of Lorain.
Sir Mason explained that we would be taking wilderness trails for the better part of our trip as we wound our way through the Kingdom, as this was not a journey for comfort, but for experience.
With the castle now out of sight I began to feel the stirrings of excitement as we stepped between the shadows of the trees and Sir Mason explained that we would be responsible for hunting our own game, setting up camp each night, and living off the land.
As the sun inched higher into the sky, the heat beat down upon us. I was grateful for whatever shade the trees provided, keeping off the brunt of the sun's glaring heat, but it didn't stop the sweat from running down my face and into my eyes. I'd also reached the conclusion that riding astride was distinctly uncomfortable for long periods of time. My legs hurt from sitting so long stretched over the massive girth of the horse, yet every time I shifted my weight around trying to ease the discomfort it caused a chafing between my legs that made the whole experience even worse.
When we stopped at midday to let the horses rest and eat from the provisions we'd carried from the castle it was a welcome relief. I fought the urge to walk bowlegged after the long morning in the saddle, and tried not to wince as my thighs protested every movement.
Owen dismounted across from me, rubbing his horse down with quick efficiency.
"Are you sore from ridding yet?" He asked. Glancing up at my barely contained grimace he laughed lightly. "Don't worry, you'll get used to riding that saddle eventually."
"Had I known what this journey would entail I might have thought twice about coming," I muttered, attending to my own horse.
"If it makes you feel any better, I think it's safe to assume your attendance would have been insisted upon regardless," He replied with a smirk, and I saw his gaze slide over to where Prince Alexander stood with Tristan, watching us with evident curiosity.
I turned back to Owen with a scowl. "Prince Alexander is woefully mistaken if he thinks he has any control over my actions," I said coolly.
Owen only grinned, putting his arms up in a gesture of surrender. "I don't doubt that for a moment, you're quite the force to be reckoned with M' Lady."
"You would do well to remember that," I said with a smirk.
"I'm not likely to forget, I've been on the other side of your bow once before," He said with fond remembrance. "I would hope I'm not so stupid as to underestimate you again," He continued merrily.
I raised an eyebrow in response, "Then perhaps you're actually possessing of some sense Sir Owen, which is far more then I can say of your friend," I stated, saying the last word with distaste.
"You may be right about that," He mused lightly, "Sense isn't something Alex has ever possessed in spades, even less so since you got here. You seem to have quite the effect on him," He teased.
"So I've heard," I grumbled with annoyance.
Laughing in response, Owen turned his horse away to drink from the shallow stream that ran nearby, leaving me alone for a moment as Clara was occupied speaking with her father.
Having finished taking care of my horses needs, I eased myself to the ground under the shade of a large oak tree, sighing in relief at the comfort of the warm lush grass that covered the forest floor. The warmth made me sleepy, and I was trying not to doze off when Prince Alexander sprawled out beside me, instantly forcing me to alertness.
Despite what had felt like an unspoken truce this morning, I was wary. The events of last night played over in my mind and I burned with curiosity wondering at what he had overheard. Not that I wanted him to bring it up.
I felt myself tense up, waiting for the inevitable words to spill from his mouth, instead he surprised me with a simple query.
"Exactly how long do you think you'll last ignoring me?" He asked, amusement evident in his tone.
After a moment of confusion I remembered the last conversation we'd had, when I'd sworn that our quarrel would be no more. Had it truly been less than a week ago? It felt ages past.
In all truth, after the week I'd had, I was itching for an argument to release the pent up stress, instead I bit down hard on my tongue to keep from retorting.
I couldn't remember why it had been so important for me to end this ongoing dispute between us, but surly I'd had good reason to at the time, and I was determined to follow through on it.
His smile grew with my continued silence.
"Am I to understand your solution to being done with me is to allow me to say anything to you unchallenged?" He asked with a laugh.
I felt my eyes widen in alarm as the implication of his statement settled in.
With a wide grin he nodded at my silence, "I'll take that as a yes," He said gleefully, standing up in one quick motion.
I opened my mouth to refute the statement, but he was already looping away, and I was left wondering exactly what I'd gotten myself into.
The rest of the day passed in a blur, the dull ache in my thighs became a constant throbbing I was forced to endure. Clara chatted aimlessly about every sight we passed, which consisted of nothing more then trees, rocks, and water, but her enthusiasm was unshakable and provided an amusing distraction to my discomfort.
Alina's good mood had also persisted throughout the day, and she rode parallel to Prince Alexander at every opportunity, keeping him engaged in conversation and laughter.
I had to wonder if anyone else noticed the effect it had on Tristan, who seemed to retreat further and further back along our short column, a glower etched permanently to his face. Owen seemed content to ride in peaceful silence, drifting up and down the line to keep each of us company in turn. Being one of Prince Alexander's closest friends, I hadn't expected to like him, but it was impossible not to return his sunny smiles and genuine friendliness.
Finally Sir Mason called a halt for the day, and I was glad to note I wasn't the only one to slide gracelessly down from the saddle. Sir Mason informed us that the clearing we'd chosen as camp would be our home for the next few days. I was grateful to learn that our grueling trek today would not be repeated anytime soon, and had only been necessary to situate us well outside of the comforts of civilization.
I couldn't fathom how we managed to set up a campground for ourselves, but somehow it happened.
A sturdy canvas tied between two trees and anchored in the ground provided a makeshift shelter and served as our only protection from the elements. It hardly seemed a formidable barrier and I was grateful for the thick bedroll I'd opted to bring despite the extra weight. The boys and girls occupied opposite sides of the fire pit while Sir Mason situated himself in a smaller tent of his own between the groups.
We ate a cold supper in lethargic silence, everyone longing for their bedrolls and a good night's sleep. I couldn't ever remember being so tired.
One by one everyone drifted off to sleep. I had finally willed myself to stand up and make for our shelter when Prince Alexander approached me, looking far too awake after the day we'd had.
"Listen Tally," He said solemnly, face etched with gravity, "Now that we're travelling in such a small company, I must insist that you fight the urge to barge into my quarters at all hours of the night."
The words took several moments to filter through the haze of my exhaustion, but when they did my mouth dropped open in shock.
"How dare—"
He held up a hand to stop whatever remark I'd planned to make.
"I realize it's asking a lot," He continued, "If I were each residing in a tent alone it would be another matter, but as it is I must ask that you try to control yourself," He said patiently.
Completely at a loss for words I stood there sputtering and fuming, equal parts appalled and embarrassed, as he walked away whistling quietly.
Clearly I'd underestimated him when he'd said he wasn't finished with me. Taking a deep breath, I tried desperately to convince myself that it might be a tad extreme to throttle him in his sleep.
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