P.O.V: Royal T
*1 week later*
Therapist: "so have you talked to anyone at all about you coming to therapy or opened up to anybody?"
"yes i have" i said confidently, i told Papi everything after he 'party' and i told india a few things also
Therapist: "thats great Ms.Banks, did you write things down in your journal like i asked?"
"of course" I said handing it to him
I watched as he opened the book and read some pages
Therapist: "this is good Ms.Banks, so detailed and thorough. You finished almost the whole book"
"do i still have to write stuff down?"
Therapist: "no you don't, have you been working on your eating habits?"
"mhm"i hummed
Therapist: "alright, what did you eat for breakfast?"
"a bagel, some fruit, anddd a coffee"
Therapist: "have you had lunch yet?"
"no not yet"
Therapist: "are you planning to?"
"no, I am not"
Therapist: "get something to eat after you leave here, I don't care if its mcdonalds or arbys"
"alright"
Therapist: "so who specifically have you opened up to"
"Bashar and India"
Therapist: "and you told them everything?"
"i told Bashar everything, not india"
Therapist: "why not?"
"i think she'll judge me or worry about me too much"
Therapist: "is there a reason why?"
"no, shes my bestfriend and I don't want her to feel uncomfortable around me"
Therapist: "was she uncomfortable when you opened up to her a little more"
"i don't think so but we were talking over he phone and I couldn't see her facial expressions"
Therapist: "mhm and why did you Tell Bashar everything?"
"me and him just had that with each other i guess, we are each others therapist"
I watched him open the journal up again and skim through pages
Therapist: "what happened on page 38?"
"I talked to uh- Max again, he said he needed help with something and my dumbass went and did it...."
Therapist: "40?"
"me and von are in a complicated thing right now and i slept with him..."
Therapist: "and when did you write all this down"
"3 nights ago"
"mhm" the therapist hummed
"i feel like such an idiot."
Therapist: "you know what your problem is?"
"I al-"
Therapist: "im going to tell you what it is...you think to much and you let the people you love the most tear you down so much, just because you want to please them and make them feel wanted and comfortable. Its like you don't even care about yourself. im going to tell you something, thoughts are never honest, your emotions are. You ignore the truth for temporary happiness. Max couldn't give a DAMN about you. You always come in here...say you messed up...say that you want this to happen this way and this to happen another way but you will never see what you want"
"Both of them constantly apologize though and i want to accept it"
Therapist: "and thats fine but you wanna know why you cant accept it? because you know that saying 'sorry' only works when a mistake is made, not when trust is broken"
I just stared at him not knowing what to say, he usually says everything thats in my head way more professionally
Therapist: "now I have this client and I want him to join us today since his meeting is next and he agreed also"
"who is he?"
he walked over to his desk and pushed some numbers into the phone
Therapist: "you can let him in now"
he said, he put the phone down and walked back to his chair
The door opened and here comes Max....im tired of seeing him
Therapist: "before you say anything Ms.Banks, I think this could be really good for you guys"
"hey T"max said, sitting farther down on the couch
"hi"i said dryly
Therapist: "alright, lets just get straight into everything. Now Max go ahead and say what you wrote down"
I just kept quiet, i am so tired of men right now
"um- alright well first off, and i know you tired of hearing this, but im sorry. I shouldn't have done what I did. I shouldn't have slept with Misha especially after what she confessed. I lost you and I've lost you before but I really lost you. I needed you and you needed me, we were a team and we were together and instead of talking it out more with you and went and did anything I wanted. You were the best thing that ever happened to me and you helped me through everything, even when people didn't give a shit about me. and I'll always have love you for you because of it" Max confessed
I wanted to show at least some type of emotion but i couldn't, I really could care less
Therapist: "alright, Ms.Banks?"
"i don't want you to apologize...I want the guilt to eat you alive and I want you to DROWN in it. I needed YOU! I need you to be there for me, i needed you to support me, and tell me everything was going to be okay. I needed to be able to rely on you because thats what YOU promised to do. But i didn't need you and im not throwing the 'independent woman' crap in your face. but i don't need a man who can't keep his word"
Therapist: "alr-"
I cut him off, "and another thing!" i said standing up, "quit saying 'you lost me' as if youre some sort of victim in this whole story, start telling the whole truth! you had something good and YOU fucked it all up by yourself ! How many more chances did you expect to get? How many more fucking tears do want? HUH?! you didn't lose shit! You had two choices - to stay loyal or or to fuck around and for SOME REASON i had those same choices, and so while you chose to fuck around, i chose to stay loyal and after all the B.S, there were another two choices, to do BETTER or stay the same and you chose to stay the same so guess what! i chose to walk away" i yelled
I looked at him to see if he anything else to say but he didn't so i walked out it felt goo dto get that out
. . . . . . .
my phone rang and it was von calling
'please don't try and apologize' i said to myself before answering
"what" i said
"come to the studio" and with that he hung up
im over niggas bro
. . . . . . .
"im here fuck nigga, what you wnat" i said walking through the door, "oh heyyy everyone"
"ight talk to us von whats goin on?" durk said
"yo some people tryna do a versus battle yall down?"
"for sure, who am i going up against?" i asked him, if it was 'some people' then they in control of who you go against
"Asian"
"im not competing with that noise" i said they could kiss my black ass
I was just gon watch the others do the versus
"its a easy win T" tjay said
"you telling me like I give a shit, im not tryna have a easy win" i said back to him
"bro eyedrops is technically blinker fluid" durk said, high as fuck in the corner
"you need a brain cell" india mumbled
P.O.V: Omniscient
*AFTER THE BATTLE*
"all you gotta do is pull the trigger when I tell you to ight?" they said, shoving the gun into the persons hand
The person with the gun didn't say nothing just stared at the gun
"i said DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?" they yelled while pounding their fist into the metal table
"I understand"
"now get out"
walking out the abandoned building, they contemplated if this was worth gaining the fortune
'I want to though' she thought to herself
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ngl i forgot about yall.......😭😭😭