you're a fucking asshole.
i take it all back—you're not a legend
asshole
uh oh
you know how humiliating it was to
walk in class, thank Salome for the hw
answers only for them to tell me i never
texted them??
asshole
ah...
and then i had to completely redo
the assignment one minute before
the prof collects it???
incredibly disrespectful.
asshole
but i AM salome :)
yeah, and i'm the girl who definitely
got a C on my assignment
asshole
ur a girl?
and i presume you're a 70 yr old man
who's gonna offer to be my sugar daddy?
asshole
unfortunately not
a shame. i would've been so happy
asshole
W H A T ????
buddy if you take everything i've said and
put two and two together, it's pretty
obvious i'm a broke college student
asshole
dude you're giving me so much
info about yourself. what if i
was a murderer? a serial killer??
honestly if you were, i'd be so relieved.
like yes, pls get me out of here i don't
wanna be in florida anymore
asshole
that bad??
i hate people.
asshole
fair enough
......
is it rowan again?
god i hate the bastard
and yet
asshole
and yet?
i didn't mean that
asshole
wait what don't you mean? (read)
wait (read)
HOLLLD UP (read)
YOU DONT MEAN TO SAY THAT— (read)
shut up
asshole
make me
i never said it, therefore it is not true <3
asshole
do you actually like him?? after you've
called him an asshole like five times??
dude i know nothing about you yet you're
so invested in my love life? or. lack of thereof.
asshole
i'm invested 🤷♂️
gimme two facts cuz you already
know two ab me :/
asshole
fine, deal.
my name is jared :) and my
20th birthday is in two months
i'm not a dumbass. i'm a woman of
culture as well
we have the same area code so—
what part of florida?
asshole
confidential.
fine. be like that. see ya later # boy
asshole
i'm not attached to you. see ya
later # girl (delivered)
20 MINUTES LATER
asshole
wait come back (delivered)
i'm bored (delivered)
did you actually leave :( (delivered)
jesus christ fine (delivered)
asshole
1, orlando ://
2, i don't go to college
and just so you owe me one, 3: i'm def a guy
the "definitely" makes it sound sarcastic ngl
asshole
wanna see proof? ;)
doesn't sound like you have
much to show :)
asshole
ouch. you sure know how
to bruise an ego.
aw thanks :) i learned from rowan
asshole
oh? 😏
you have to learn when he starts
throwing insults at you from
across the kitchen.
asshole
oh? do you work at a restaurant?
that's my third fact for you.
asshole
is it hard?
meh. i enjoy it sometimes. plus
old men tip well hehe. i take it as
a dub.
asshole
doesn't sound like a dub to me
again. best i could get.
therefore why i don't mind if ur
actually a,, you know.
asshole
unfortunately i am not
a shame.
bringing how much of an asshole you
are, rowan's yelling at me bc you
distracted me and i gotta clean
asshole
does he help in the old men situations?
lmao no. i don't think he even
knows it happens.
oops, that's enough oversharing for
tonight. gotta go serve people and
not trip over my own feet
see you maybe?
asshole
oh? 👀
on second thought, maybe not <3
asshole
don't think about me when you're
walking cuz i'm sure you'll fall head
over heels :))
i hate you.
asshole
no you don't <3
AUTHOR'S NOTE
i have discovered i am horrible at writing text-message stories but honestly im only doing this so i can get out of my writing slump so please give me validation even tho it's not the best <3333
7.6.21