nostalgia, forty-four.
❛ feels like home ❜
Han Yebin once said that she'd rather drown before willingly putting herself through a confrontation, and she stood by that statement as she walked up to Go Taeri's front door. Then again she was finding it hard to breathe at the moment, so that 'would-you-rather' was pointless, really.
The girl had sent both her friends a heads-up, asking them to meet her at the front door. Yebin didn't tell them what she was going to say, and honestly, she didn't know either.
Soon, the door opened to reveal both Taeri and Micha, dressed in matching pajamas for their sleepover. Micha glanced at Yebin, shock flashing in her eyes before she masked it with a smile. "Hey, we- didn't think you'd show up."
"Of course you didn't," Yebin said with a scoff. "I've been letting you guys push me around since day one."
"What are you talking about?" Taeri laughed.
"Do you wanna know what this is?" Yebin pulled out the boarding pass from her pocket, raising it up for them to see. "This is what my mom thought of after finding out about me and Jungwon through an anonymous text. I almost moved to Seoul. Does that make you happy?"
Micha sighed. "Yebin, that's awful, but what does this have to do with us?"
"You bitches took the picture!" Yebin exclaimed out of frustration, catching the girls off-guard.
Taeri was quick to deny, but upon seeing the certainty on Yebin's face, she crossed her arms instead. "And where's your proof?"
"I don't need it." Yebin shrugged. "The fake friendship we've had for the past two years is evidence enough."
"How long have you guys been waiting for this moment? I may be slow but I'm not stupid. I saw the team having dinner in the background of the pictures taken that one night. You know, the one you told me was cancelled. I take all that shit from your dad during math class because I don't want to talk back and have it affect my friendship with you. Even those lies about Jungwon's grades- I ignored all of that because I assured myself that you guys were my friends, but you never considered me as yours, did you?" Yebin's voice cracked. "H-have you always hated me this much?"
"Yes!" Micha snapped. "Maybe not at the start of freshman year. Back when you weren't trying to be such a people-pleaser. We were never jealous of you back then."
"What?" Yebin felt likes she was going crazy. "Micha, you're one of the top students in our class. Taeri, you've been offered over five soccer scholarships and you're not even in senior year yet. Why the fuck would you two be jealous?!"
"Because people actually like you!" Taeri said. "Even if you're not the smartest or the prettiest or the best at anything! Somehow, everyone still likes you more than us."
"Well, clearly not everyone..." Yebin muttered, trying to ignore the fact that Taeri's words really stung. "Do you guys even hear yourselves? Of course, people like you!"
"You're jealous of us too. Don't deny it."
"God, not everything is a competition! When you first approached me, I was so happy to find out that despite all the rumors I'd heard about you guys being rich and intimidating, you were actually down-to-earth. I genuinely loved you guys. We spent so much time together, I was almost sure you felt the same. But apparently not. "Yebin hurt herself with her words as their memories from the last two years began to replay in her mind. "There are more important things than what people think of you, and I'm sorry that I thought this friendship was one of them."
The girl turned around to leave. She didn't want it to end like this, but there wasn't much leeway for anything else.
"Yebin?" Micha called her back. "I'm sorry about your mom. We didn't think she'd go that far."
"It's okay." Yebin gave them a weak smile. "I didn't think you guys would go that far either."
Han Yebin had always seen the main characters in movies walk away from a confrontation all badass, but all she was left with were her sweaty palms and a shit ton of guilt. She couldn't help it, wiping her tears as she walked to her dad's car. These were her best friends. Or so she thought.
The next stop was Jungwon's house, and her dad gave her a kiss goodbye as she stepped down from the vehicle. He assured her everything would be okay, but she couldn't deny the nervousness she felt as she walked up to the front porch.
Yebin's phone battery had died, and so there she was, ringing the doorbell of the Yang residence at three o'clock in the morning.
Mr. Yang answered the door, his eyes squinting to identify her in the dark. He brightened up upon recognizing her. "Yebin-ah! What a surprise."
"I'm so sorry to drop by this late, Mr. Yang," Yebin said. "But I was just wondering if Jungwon was still awake?"
"Ah, of course. I think I heard something being thrown in his room just now. It's what woke me up, actually."
"What?" Yebin asked worriedly. "Can I go see him?"
Some might call Mr. Yang crazy for letting his son meet a girl in the middle of the night, but he wasn't thinking of that. All he knew was that as he checked his son's room minutes earlier, he'd never seen him in the state he was then— staring at his phone completely detached with his eyes welled up in tears. From the way he'd talked about her nearly everyday, Mr. Yang figured this was something else.
He knocked on his son's door, and Jungwon answered from inside the room, "Go away, dad. I'm fine."
"I brought you something," Mr. Yang said.
"I don't want it."
"That hurts, Won." Yebin laughed weakly.
The door was opened after that, revealing Jungwon, whose swollen eyes were widened in shock. He froze as he saw her, but Yebin didn't hesitate to wrap her arms around his torso, burying her face in his shirt as her tears began to fall freely without thought. All her nervousness faded away. Seeing him felt like finding a familiar landmark in the middle of nowhere, a reassurance that she wasn't lost anymore.
It took Jungwon a second to realize she was actually there. Closing his eyes, he put an arm around her shoulder and a hand on the back of her head, letting out a breath of relief. He knew he hadn't left the house, but somehow, she still felt like home.
Mr. Yang smiled, as the short exchange warmed his heart. "I'll give you guys some privacy, but just let me know if you need anything, okay? Yebin, you're welcome to stay the night. I'm trusting you, Jungwon."
They both laughed, and Yebin her face in Jungwon's chest in mild embarrassment as they were left alone outside his room.
Somehow, Yebin ended up lying on his bed watching a sappy romantic comedy as Jungwon watched her eyes slowly droop. They hadn't talked much, and he didn't ask, knowing she was tired.
But she spoke anyway. "I'm not moving."
"Damn straight," Jungwon said suddenly turning to the side and draping a leg over hers. She glanced at him before laughing, and he frowned. "What? You're not moving."
"I thought I was going to lose you motherfucker," Jungwon continued to grumble. "I thought my wish was coming true."
"Jungwon, shut up." Yebin sighed. "Nothing that happens to me is your fault, okay? If you bring up that goddamn birthday wish again I'll lose it."
"Scare me like that again and I'll kill you."
"Thanks for caring." Yebin laughed lightly. It came out sounding like a joke, but Jungwon knew her far too well to know that a lot had happened that night. She didn't need to tell him anything.
He just tilted his head to face the girl, who was half-asleep. "Yebin?"
She hummed in response.
"Earlier, you hung up on me before I could say it back."
"Say what back?"
"I love you," Jungwon blurted out, bringing a small smile to Yebin's face.
"I love you too, Won."
"I know," he said smugly, regaining composure. "You told me first."
"Okay, I'm going to sleep now."
Jungwon laughed softly, staring up at the ceiling like she did. "Rough night?"
Yebin smiled in amusement, her eyes finally coming to a close. "You have no idea."
a/n. yay:)
anyway side-note, toxic friendships are real asf, and it can take a while to realize it for yourself. not saying you should pull a yebin and drop by their house at 2am to tell them off, but acknowledging what's good for your emotional health is important. surround yourself with people who want the best for you and nothing less than that.