CHAPTER ONE:
THE BEGINNING OF THE END
Two years. Two years of being by each other's side and now, it was all crashing down.
Before Ben Chilwell, April Deaton wasn't sure that she'd ever find true love. Sure, she had read about it multiple times and even watched the best love stories in film with Rose and Jack from Titanic springing to mind. But wasn't it just fictional? It had to be fictional, the same way that unicorns and angels were.
April had never witnessed true love in her day to day life. Not in the romantic sense at least. Her parents got divorced when she was just four years old, leaving herself and her siblings in the hands of their father. Working long hours to provide for their family, he had never been one to show affection, mostly because he was almost never home.
The blonde had watched her sister's boyfriend cheat on her several times and her brother's girlfriend guilt tripped him into buying her expensive gifts all the time. It was almost as if true love was an idealistic concept that most people longed for, therefore projecting it onto their lives. There was absolutely no way that it existed.
At least, that's what April had thought until she met Ben Chilwell.
The moment that her hazel eyes caught sight of him, she found it to be near impossible to deny how handsome he truly was. It was like a cliché from the books that she had read but she couldn't help it. His chocolate brown hair was fluffy and messy, his stubble contrasting in the way that it had been shaped. His jaw was sharp and his build tall and muscular. If there was ever a man that April had seen in her dreams, it was the one in front of her.
The next two years were some of the best of her life. He showered her with love at every given opportunity. Sometimes it was giving her a peck every chance he got. Sometimes it was simply saying those three special words. Sometimes it was taking her out and treating her to a nice meal. Other times it was watching movies in bed with her when she was ill or it was that time of the month.
No man had ever treated her so well and yet, she still found herself wanting to run from him whenever she was given the opportunity.
When he first said those three words to her, she excused herself from the dinner table and it almost took her two weeks to say it back. April had known for weeks prior to the event how she really felt about Ben but when things started to get real and she knew that she would have to commit, she became hesitant and almost bailed.
When Ben asked her to move in with him, she choked on her water, streams of it coming out of her nose. It wasn't as if it was a huge deal, especially considering the fact that she had been crashing at his house almost every night for the three months prior to him asking.
Even now, two years on, April was finding it hard to truly commit to the relationship. She wanted to be with Ben one hundred percent but she always had one foot out the door and Ben had noticed.
"Do you really want this, April?" He questioned, his hazel eyes boring into hers that were of a similar colour.
Her skin was paler than his slightly tanned skin. It was the result of all of the hours that he spent outside playing football and training for match days.
"Because I really need to know. Is this worth fighting for or are we just wasting our time here?" His words were harsh and his tone rather abrasive but April thanked him for not beating around the bush.
April had always longed for a relationship similar to the ones that she had seen in the movies. Rose and Jack had always been the ultimate goal, bar the death of her lover. But Ben was exactly what she had been looking for. Maybe he wasn't quite the Jack to her Rose but he was definitely the Beast to her Belle and the Prince Charming to her Cinderella. Yet, there was always a small piece of her that wasn't quite able to fully commit.
"I want this, I really do but there's a small piece of me that isn't quite ready to dive all the way in," April spoke truthfully, her soft voice filling the near-silent room.
The sigh that fell from Ben's lips told her that her words had been a disappointment to him. His hands raked their way through his scruffy hair and then dragged themselves down his tired face.
"Maybe we should take a break," now it was his turn to soften his voice as he spoke the dreaded words. It wasn't necessarily a break-up but they would still be spending time apart and the possibility of them ending back together lingered in the air.
The tears started to pool in April's eyes and it wasn't long before they escaped and she could taste the saltiness upon her pink lips.
"It's not a break-up but we can see other people and decide whether this, us, is what you truly want." Truth be told, what Ben was suggesting wasn't what he wanted. If he had it his way, he would ignore the warning signs from April and continue to live in the false reality that he had created for himself in which they would live happily ever after. But as much as Ben wanted to be selfish, he didn't want to be in a relationship where only half of it was happy. He didn't want April to feel trapped and grow to resent him for not giving up sooner.
Despite all of that, a break wasn't the worst scenario. There was still a chance of them finding their way back to each other after the break was finished and perhaps they would be happier than ever. But that was Ben's naivety shining through. Breaks almost never ended well. Take it from Ross and Rachel but still, he couldn't help but hope. It was the only thing left standing in their relationship at this point.
"Are you sure about this? We can go to therapy-" April started, getting up from her position on the couch and pacing the living room that had essentially been hers for the past two years. It had served them well. Multiple movie evenings, spilt wine and even a few more intimate nights together.
The thought of a break brought a lot of anxiety for April. For the past two years, Ben had been her only source of stability. Her sister moved to the other side of the world with her new husband and baby. Her brother had become a successful bar owner and her father was as busy as ever. Letting go of Ben would be the last straw, even if it was just temporary. She wasn't sure that she could do it, even if it would be the best thing for the both of them.
"We tried therapy, April and things got so bad that Dr Reid wasn't sure where to go next." His point was valid and most certainly true. April remembered sitting on Dr Reid's couch in her office very vividly. She could remember almost every single hurtful word that both of them spat at each other. It wasn't pleasant and as she looked back on their relationship, she realised that some time apart would do them more good than bad.
"I'm scared," April admitted, her voice breaking as she did so.
It didn't take long for the tears to start streaming down her face and for her sobs to echo throughout the silence of the living room. Still feeling the need to protect his girlfriend or ex-girlfriend, Ben wasn't sure, he moved forward until he was in front of April and wrapped his arms around her, holding her close to his body. They had been in that exact position many times before but as April thought about it potentially being the last, she cried that little bit more, her tears falling faster than ever.
The couple soaked up their remaining moments together, neither one of them knowing where to go next. They had no idea what the future would hold for them moving forward but they both hoped and prayed that it would lead them right back to each other.
Written: 9th June 2021
Published: 19th January 2022
Word Count: 1433
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*
a/n: and here we have it! The very first chapter of 'Paris'! This book is still very much getting written and it's proving to be a lengthy process but I'm pleased at the fact that I'm getting somewhere.
And two updates within just a few days of each other?! Who am I?
I need some book recommendations please! I just finished reading 'The Dinner Guest' by B P Walter and let me tell you, I was hooked! But I'm feeling a little spooked after finishing it now because it was a little dark. I think I'll move onto 'Call Me By Your Name' next but any other recommendations would be great, thank you!
And of course, please let me know what I have missed from you lovely people because goodness knows I've missed a lot of updates! Leave your self promo here!
What's your favourite book?
- my favourite book growing up was 'Black Beauty' by Anna Sewell but I'm not too sure what my current favourite is.
Enjoy and stay safe!
Lots of love, e x